Today is Friday the 13th! Here are 13 things Parents really should be weary of…


Friday January 13th.  I think I’m supposed to be afraid today of black cats, open ladders, and a bunch of other crap which has been debunked by science, but not being a superstitious guy, I thought I could help parents with 13 things they really need to worry about – not just on Friday the 13th.

Please read and comment with tongue planted firmly in your cheek.  They are all true, however, your level of worry and fear will be determined by the age of your children and the number of children you have – meaning more kids usually equals less fears…

Sit tight, watch out for open ladders and let’s go!

13.  Kids + playdates + school = germs and sickness.  Remember that anti-bacterial anything is evil and make sure that you’ve got all of your natural and medical aides on hand plus a ton of tissues.  You’ll forget what it’s like to be healthy every now and then.

12.  It’s best to never sit in on a child’s playdate because you will be mortified by what your child says / does and you’ll want to send them to boarding school or never allow them to have playdates again.

11.  Clothing – when kids are young, you buy them colours they like and you stock up, but then that day will come when they will hate everything in their drawers and refuse to go to school.  You can’t plan for this day, you can’t take them with you and buy what they want only.   They wake up hating everyone…

10.  … and everyone.  Prior to the wardrobe catastrophe, comes the parenting realization that they just can’t stand you / can’t stand to be around you / be seen with you / won’t hold your hand in public.  IT’s really hard to accept, considering all that you’ve done for them (ungrateful), that is until…

9.  … They need stuff and they need it to be fancy, and expensive and they need it now.  No longer is that 10-year old Wii that they never play with good enough, because little Jimmy has a PS4, and little Jane has an X-box…  When they need something they will be in your face all the time, remind you a thousand times a day, and go between begging and anger as they try to figure out what it will take to get you to do as they say.  They’ll drive you to the cliff of sanity and if pushing you over gets them what they want, I hope you’ve packed a parachute.

8.   Kids are great at negotiating their position when they want something but when you need them to clean their rooms, pick up after themselves, or clean their dishes off the table, good luck!  Nothing can be more frustrating to parents than having kids who just cannot / or refuse to understand the basic premise of cleanliness

7.   Beware school bags and lunch boxes, especially after 2-weeks of holiday break.  The contents of a plastic container which at one time held lunch but now contains a vomit-scented science experiment can scar a parent for life.

6.   I don’t need to go into great detail here, but children’s underwear which get tossed in the laundry and have sat there for a couple of day and should have been brought to the parents’ attention before they smell / touch / spread throughout the rest of the laundry / house.

5.   As a child I was scarred when someone came into our school (likely Public Health) with these pink chew tablets and when we chewed them the plaque on our teeth turned dark pink.  I was horrified to chew the tablets but also became a fanatical tooth brusher / flosser later in life.   If they tool was still available, and we gave them to our children, the result would be horrifying, especially when we pass the tooth brushing on to them.

4.   Find the kids hiding spot in the house / car… I dare you.  The candy wrappers, chewed gum (especially if you don’t let them chew gum) and other crap they have accumulated / borrowed / stolen / broken would make you tear out your hair.

3.   Sleep!  UGH.  You’ll never get enough, never make up the lost sleep, which makes you look and feel older, and forget sleeping in your own bed!  There are nights where I have slept in every child’s bed with them because of; nightmares, weather, threat of bad weather, sickness, threat of sickness, loneliness, manipulation, I woke them up, or because they’re kids and kids are awesome and just want the attention.  Spending quality time with your kids and being there for them is awesome because there will come a day when the think you’re gross, but as for your sleep… Forget about it!  It’s over.

2.   When girls and boys go from being “yucky” and “gross” to silence.  That silence means they have taken notice and it might be time for that puberty check (armpit hair).  Then it’s a whole different ball game, my friends!  A completely different set of nightmares and worries.

1. Once you get it all figured out and everything seems to be in order (meaning you finally broke them and they are fully complying, or they’re moving out to go to University) you realize just how much you’re going to miss them.  Miss picking up after them.  Miss telling them to chew with their mouths shut.  Miss giving them advice and miss their company, their senses of humour, and they ability to lighten up a room (or clear that room).

 

So make sure this Friday the 13th, after you explain to your kids the myths and superstitions, that you hug them, kiss them and tell them you love them.

Deep down they love you too and might even admit it today (but take it back tomorrow).

… Is that a black cat!!!

 

Aaaarrrrrggghhhhhh.

Happy New Year!


Happy New Year, for all of us here at The Urban Daddy!  Okay, so that’s just me, but it sounds better when it’s coming for a bunch of people, right?

You might have noticed a few changes around here if you arrive at the blog via the URL http://www.urbandaddy.wordpress.com.  The theme and cover photo have been changed again and I’m taking this blog back to basics which means more content and less focus on what the heck I’m saying and how it’s being written.

I miss the old days when I would throw up a post and the only reader and only comment would be from my sister who would edit it for me in her comment.  LOL.

You might also have noticed that little “R” inside a circle after “The Urban Daddy” and that is because I have registered the trademark “The Urban Daddy”.  After 1200 posts covering over 12-years, it was only a matter of time, right?

Another new change is the URL.  You can access this blog via http://www.theurbandaddy.ca as well, as I finally had enough time to activate that URL which I’ve owned for the past 5-years.

I hope everyone has a healthy, wealthy and peaceful 2017, and I’d like to end this post with a tidbit of wisdom from my now 7-year-old daughter, who blurted this out on New Years’ Day for some unknown reason;

 

“In order to have money and not be poor when you are older, you need to earn and save money now when you are young!”

 

A fiscal conservative at the core!

 

Former live-in caregiver jailed for exploiting migrants who wanted to follow in her footsteps to Canada.


A woman who came to Canada from the Philippines as a live-in caregiver has been jailed for exploiting would-be immigrants in a stiff sentence designed to thwart a wave of bogus immigration consulting. “She lied to them, cheated them, and, in some cases, even threatened them. By doing so, not only did she harm the…

via Former live-in caregiver jailed for exploiting migrants who wanted to follow in her footsteps to Canada — National Post – Top Stories

This is such a shame!  Taking advantage of those in need is terrible and not the Canadian way.

Cap-and-trade will cost Ontarians $8B in first years with minimal greenhouse gas reductions: auditor.


TORONTO — Ontario’s cap-and-trade program will cost the province’s consumers and businesses $8 billion dollars in its first years of operation to get minimal greenhouse gas reductions, the auditor general said Wednesday. In her annual report, Bonnie Lysyk said households will pay an average of $156 next year in added costs on gasoline and natural…

via Cap-and-trade will cost Ontarians $8B in first years with minimal greenhouse gas reductions: auditor — National Post – Top Stories

 

I can’t just pick one part of the Auditor General’s report on the way the Ontario Liberal Government has been slowly destroying this province but I think this is the main one we’ll be talking about for years to come…

When will Ontarians wake up to the deceit and lies being fed to us by this government and care enough to not vote them back in power.

I’ll translate the headline further: The Ontario Liberal government will be getting $8 billion dollars from you, and me, from taxpayers, from businesses, from seniors… from everyone in Ontario for nothing.

This $8 billion dollar tax windfall will pay for broken contracts, wasteful spending, overruns on transit projects, union contract negotiation payouts disguised as pizza, and other perks.  It will result in businesses being forced to close, families going hungry and unemployment.

Much like the high hydro rates have resulted in people using less hydro, which then resulted in hydro having to increase rates to make more money.  It just doesn’t pass the smell test.

If it doesn’t look good, and it doesn’t smell good, it isn’t going to taste good and that’s because it’s rotten.

The Auditor General said it…

Halloween Safety Reminder from Health Canada (and from The Urban Daddy)


Halloween Safety

During the Halloween season it is important to keep your child’s safety in mind when planning costumes, decorations, treats and activities. Make sure that Halloween is a safe and happy experience for the whole family by preparing ahead of time.

Choose the right costume

      • Look for costumes and accessories such as beards, wigs, wings and tails that are labelled flame-resistant. Flowing skirts and capes, baggy sleeves and over-sized costumes can all be hazards around candles or flames.
      • Pick brightly coloured costumes that can be clearly seen by motorists. Add reflective tape to the costume to increase visibility.
      • Use make-up or face paint instead of masks – improperly fitted masks can interfere with your child’s vision or breathing. If you do choose a mask, make sure it fits properly and allows them to see and breathe easily.
      • Do not use contact lenses that change eye colour or create special effects because they can cause injury to a child’s eyes.

Avoid danger when decorating

      • To avoid injuries, let children draw a face or design on the pumpkin and then have an adult carve it.
      • Candles, jack-o-lanterns, lighters and matches are all fire hazards. Place lighted candles and jack-o-lanterns away from curtains and other flammable objects, and do not leave them unattended.  Instead of candles, consider using a small flashlight or battery candle to light your jack-o-lantern.
      • Keep candles, matches, lighters and other fire hazards in a place that children cannot reach.
      • Check indoor and outdoor decorative lights for broken or cracked sockets, frayed or bare wires or loose connections. Do not overload extension cords.

Stay secure while trick or treating

      • Go trick or treating with your children each year until they are old enough to go with a friend.
      • Give each child a flashlight to carry, to make them more visible to motorists and others.
      • Tell your children to stay in well-lit areas and only visit homes that have their outside lights turned on.
      • Make sure they know never to go inside homes or cars.
      • Teach your children to be careful when crossing the street. Make sure they look both ways and only cross when no cars are coming. Cross streets at the corner, and never cross between parked cars.

For more safety tips, visit: 
http://healthycanadians.gc.ca/security-securite/home-maison/halloween-eng.php

Health Canada
Communications and Public Affairs Branch
Ontario Region

 

If you’ve made it this far, The Urban Daddy’s tip is this;  Trade the candy your children get for a toy.  Give out the candy you don’t want to eat (lol) and let them keep 5-10 pieces.

The candy will be long gone, but the toy will last until they lose interest in it.

 

Works like a charm!