Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, family, Food, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Ice Cream Cake: Fork or Spoon?


When you’re given a piece of ice cream cake – not to be confused with a piece of cake that has a scoop of ice cream on it – but an actual piece of ice cream cake, do you eat it with a fork or a spoon?

 

I know the answer, and there is only one answer, ahem, fork… It’s cake!

I asked my colleagues and they were like, fork!

But there are some people who will remain nameless because they may or may not be related to me, and may or may not have given birth to our kids and then may or may not have corrupted our kids into thinking that ice cream cake is just ice cream in the form of a cake, thus should be eaten with a spoon…

 

I won’t judge you…

Fork?

or Spoon?

 

Posted in Community, Daddy, family, Food, Happy Wife = Happy Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Belch vs Burp: What’s the Difference?!?


Belch vs Burp

My wife and I disagree on this.  I said there is a significant difference between a belch and a burp.  She told me that according to Quora there is no difference between a belch and burp.

From Quora: Both make mention of emitting gas or air from the stomach.

Quora is wrong.

She is wrong.

There is a difference… A big one!

Burp

A burp is that noise you make while eating, then you are emitting gas or air from your stomach.

Burps are polite

A burp is a burp…

People burp!

 

Belch

A belch is that noise you make while emitting gas or air from your stomach and in doing so can say words, or make noises and in belching with your mouth open, can break glass or turn people’s heads.

Belches… belches, are high-school, and some-times University cool.

Kids like belches when you can belch and say words.

No one else needs to hear you belch.

 

So?

Agree or disagree?

 

Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, Life

Do People Know About This? Or Just Me?


I feel like everyone knows or should know the following fact, however day after day, in fact multiple times a day, I see people doing this, so now I’m wondering if maybe only I know this fact…

Doubt it.

Cell phones do not work in elevators.

Not all elevators.

Not all cell phones.

Most cell phones will not work in most elevators.

This isn’t news, right?

Aside from the fact that it’s really rude to get into an elevator while on a call, it’s also pretty funny to see people so distracted on their call that they decide to get on the elevator, rather than wait in the lobby, they walk onto the elevator, talking away, then the doors close, and then you hear this;

“hello?”

“Hello!”

“HELLO?!?”

Then they realize the call was dropped, so they keep their heads down and wait for the elevator ride to end before taking their phones again and making a call.  Sometimes, they try calling the person back, and amidst the lack of reception, will yell things like; “Can you hear me?!?” and “I’m in an elevator.”

Think about it…

Inside an elevator there are at least three layers of concrete and/or steel between your phone and the cell signal source. That’s three layers of construction blocking and weakening the signal.

Makes even more sense then, that even if the tower signal could get to your phone inside the elevator, it would be virtually impossible for the puny transmitter on your phone to send its signal back to the cell tower to complete the communications loop. There are just too many layers of concrete and steel for your signal to pass through.

So why are people doing this?

Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, events, family, hockey, Life, Parenting, school, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Laine + FortNite = Fewer Goals + Late For Work


For those of you familiar with Patrik Laine, the NHL superstar in the making who is playing with the Winnipeg Jets, you will know that his bread-and-butter goal-scoring has gone someone AWOL this season.

The forward who was chosen second overall in the 2016 NHL entry draft behind the Toronto Maple Leafs superstar Auston Matthews, has seen his production drop from 44 goals last season to just 29, so far, this season which is still fantastic, but for a player of his skills, there was expectations that he was going to score close to 60-goals this season.

His play has looked somewhat uninspired, and his plus/minus has taken a beating this season on a very, very good, Jets team.

Through Laine’s struggles media reports circle back to comments he made about FortNite, the uber-popular video game, which the Vancouver Canucks has tried to ban in order to prevent their players from playing too much and not being prepared for games.

Maybe Laine is not playing well because he’s playing too much FortNite…

Or maybe not.

The purpose of bring up the addictive nature of this game is to loop in a personal story about being late for work.

Earlier in the school year, and on more than one occasion, I had sent of my wife and 2/3rds of our children to school, and was going to drop the 3rd one off on my way to office, when suddenly, I noticed that he was no-where to be found.

As the clock continued to click, and time slowly went by, it became quite obvious that he was going to be late for school, I was going to be late for work, and the very real possibility that he was not feeling well started to creep into my head.

After spending a few minutes yelling instructions throughout the house – “I’m leaving!”, “If you want a lift to school, you had better get to the front door right away!” and “Hurry up, you’re going to be late”, I decided the better parenting technique would be to see if he’s really okay (at least that is what I imagined my wife asking me as I relayed this story to her).

I walked upstairs to his bedroom, and it was empty.

Maybe he left on his own, took transit to school, and I’ve been standing in the front hall yelling to myself…

So I called his name, and received a muffled, downtrodden response, “I’m in the bathroom… I don’t feel well.”

Ugh.  Poor thing.

So I started to notify my clients, my network and my wife that this was the case and that I would contact his school to let them know he was sick.

Every couple of minutes I would check on his, asking him through the door how he was doing, if he needed to stay home, and what hurt.

It was his tummy.

He would not need to stay home.

He just needed a few more minutes…

I gave him 20-minutes, and kept checking on him to see if there was anything that I could do to help him feel better.

He re-assured me that he was good to go, and just needed a few more minutes.

Then I heard it…

The noise.

It made me stop in my tracks…

I might even have stopped breathing for a few seconds…

He said; “YES!  Victory Royale!  Okay, Dad… Let’s go to school.”

He was playing FortNite.

Locked in the bathroom.

Feigning illness, making himself late for school, me late for work, and for what?  A Victory Royale?!?

I shook my head, told him he can’t do this, and restricted his morning access to video games (it’s never been an issue before) and on the ride to school I got to hear the details of his win.

Then I started thinking about Laine… the Vancouver Canucks, other parents, that I need to change the password on my iPad, and that someday this FortNite craze will be over.  All the kids will suffer withdrawal symptoms and then life will go back to normal.

That was the expectation until I was informed today by my son that “Apex Legends” already has 50-million players, or about 1/4 of the number of players that FortNite has, but Apex has only been out for one month…

Oh my.

So much for this being the exception and not the norm…

 

 

This is a NJN Blog Post (No Judgement Necessary)

Posted in Canada, Coffee, Community, Daddy, family, Food, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Why Do “We” Do This As Parents?


Why, as parents, do we do everything in our power to;

  1. Keep our kids quit in restaurants, by teaching them how to behave in public, yet when they’re in a McDonalds, we allow them to sit on their own, run around the place, scream, sing and be really, really disruptive to everyone around them.  They are especially annoying to the, ahem, father who is trying to write blog posts with his headphones on, but cannot put 2 thoughts together because of the chaos.
  2. Teach children that our word is our word and that they should listen to us, but then after telling them over and over again, for example, that they cannot have dessert until they eat their McNuggets, and then when they don’t eat their McNuggets, buy them dessert anyways?
  3. Keep the kids quiet – and by quiet, I mean asking them to take the cups off their mouths and stop singing at the top of their lungs – but when they refuse to listen, “distracting” them by buying them dessert…

Who parents like this?

When I asked why do “we”, I really meant who do “they”.  I certainly do not parent like that!

Yet there are a whole bunch of parents in here who do!

 

Update:

The loud people left, finally, but not before the kids bolted and hid under tables (even tables where people were eating), and as the final piece of class, the father yelled “John! I’ll see you in the car” and with that he headed to the door, leaving a 3-year-old, wailing in the middle of the restaurant.  Thankfully the kids 5yo sister came to get him.

Then, just as the ringing in my ears subsided, 2 mothers and 2 girls came in, and the mothers have allowed the kids to absolutely run wild in here… (see, not just the dads).

The kids have been running around barefoot (ugh), and in their socks (ugh), and screaming, spiting, sitting on tables and walking across the chairs.  After a few dirty glares, the parents shh’d the kids, but then the parents went back to talking and the kids took of their shoes and are back to yelling, and picking up stuff from the floor…

Again I ask… Why do parents think it’s okay to let their kids run amok in some restaurants, but not others?!?