Posted in events, family, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Father’s Day: Young Kids vs Teens


Father’s Day!

Every day is father’s day, in my eyes, and this day is just another day for me – thankful for being a father, and thinking of my father who passed away 17-years ago at such a young age and who never got to see my children.

Thank goodness my wife’s father is alive, healthy and have developed such a wonderful relationship with my kids.

So with that being said, and having been at this blogging thing for almost 15-years, I have a great perspective of what it’s like being a father for the first time, when the kid(s) are young, and now that they are approaching and in their early teens (my oldest is 14).

First Father’s Day

The novelty of having children and being a father is finally sinking in, which makes your relationship with your father / father-in-law / father figure / grand father, etc., a bit more enriched.

You are likely to get a card from your wife, from your child, parents, siblings, etc., and a picture or baby hand imprint, or paper with drool on it – something like that which you will keep.

Future Father’s Days

The kid(s) ask what you want, and they usually make stuff at school. Cute stuff, like the hand print, or the paper saying that your dad is 83-years-old, and have no hair, and your favourite colour is blue, and that for a living you yell and them and burp a lot.

This is the age of BBQ’s and “Best Father” mugs, and ties, and stuff like that. Father’s day is still super awesome, if not more awesome because you’ve realized the amount of work your wife has put into the family so you whisk the kids away for the day and take them to the zoo, to a movie, to the park, or to see your mother.

Caution: The Teen / Tween Years

I’m still relatively new to this, but thus far, Father’s day goes something like this;

  1. Remind the kids father’s day is coming up
  2. Remind the kids that you really like a homemade card or craft but a hug and kiss will suffice
  3. Ask them halfway through the day is they know what day today is…
  4. When the kids fight or disagree with each other, try making peace between them by saying, “Hey! It’s Father’s Day!!”
  5. Try not to laugh when told, “You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine”, or “You’re not the stupidest person on the planet… But you’d better hope that person doesn’t die.”

 

(If you laugh they think it’s acceptable – or really funny – and they’ll want to quit school and go on tour as a comedian… OY!)

So you end up wishing yourself a Happy Father’s Day, and you think about how great it’s been thus far as a father, and then you try to figure out where on earth it all went so wrong.

 

 

Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, family, Food, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Ice Cream Cake: Fork or Spoon?


When you’re given a piece of ice cream cake – not to be confused with a piece of cake that has a scoop of ice cream on it – but an actual piece of ice cream cake, do you eat it with a fork or a spoon?

 

I know the answer, and there is only one answer, ahem, fork… It’s cake!

I asked my colleagues and they were like, fork!

But there are some people who will remain nameless because they may or may not be related to me, and may or may not have given birth to our kids and then may or may not have corrupted our kids into thinking that ice cream cake is just ice cream in the form of a cake, thus should be eaten with a spoon…

 

I won’t judge you…

Fork?

or Spoon?

 

Posted in Parenting

The Urban Daddy Hates Siri – The Weekly Feature


Welcome to what is now going to be my newest feature: The Urban Daddy Hates Siri.

I don’t personally hate the voice behind Siri – she follows me on Twitter and I follow her, and yes, there was a time when I preferred the British voice behind Siri because I was finding that the Australian and American ones just didn’t get me…

In our hands-free / distracted driving world, having Siri available at the call of “Hey Siri” is an assets to parents and business owners.  No fidgeting with a cell phone, or pulling over to text, when you can just summon Siri, and have her do your bidding.

Well, I can’t.

Most of the time I can’t.

Actually almost all of the time I can’t.

I thought it was because I speak too fast, or possibly because I mumble my words, or maybe it’s because I’m not very clear in my pronunciation of certain words..

I’ve come to realize that it’s none of that.

Siri is out to get me.  It’s because I called her stupid and told her to “fuck off” a couple of years ago, and she’s holding a grudge.

Case in point.

“Hey Siri”

“Please send me an email”

Siri: “What is the subject of your email?”

Me: “To do on Monday”

Siri: “Okay, what do you want your email to say?”

Me: “This Monday make sure to go to Splashables (for swimming products for the kids), make a doctors appointment and… well… I have no idea.”

Here is what Siri emailed me: “I Monday you need to make an appointment as washable know I need to make a doctors appointment and you need to go you fossil to pick up some goggles for your son.”

WTF?!? That’s not even close to what I said, and she called me a fossil…

 

Thanks Siri… Bitch!

Posted in Community, Daddy, family, Food, Happy Wife = Happy Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Belch vs Burp: What’s the Difference?!?


Belch vs Burp

My wife and I disagree on this.  I said there is a significant difference between a belch and a burp.  She told me that according to Quora there is no difference between a belch and burp.

From Quora: Both make mention of emitting gas or air from the stomach.

Quora is wrong.

She is wrong.

There is a difference… A big one!

Burp

A burp is that noise you make while eating, then you are emitting gas or air from your stomach.

Burps are polite

A burp is a burp…

People burp!

 

Belch

A belch is that noise you make while emitting gas or air from your stomach and in doing so can say words, or make noises and in belching with your mouth open, can break glass or turn people’s heads.

Belches… belches, are high-school, and some-times University cool.

Kids like belches when you can belch and say words.

No one else needs to hear you belch.

 

So?

Agree or disagree?

 

Posted in Canada, Community, family, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto, travel

Why I Hate Siri: She don’t understand me


I have a real problem with siri.

I feel that somewhere along the line, either myself, or one of my kids must have said something to offend her, because she’s held a grudge for as long as I can remember.

My rationale?

I’m not hearing a tone in her voice or anything like that, but I’m in the car a lot, and when I need to send myself a note, I summon Siri, and have her email me the note.  Usually these notes are trivial, like potential blog posts, or rants, however sometimes they are important.

Here is a recent message that I asked Siri to email to me while I was driving;

Things you must do today or else you will be hungry by your testicles

Contact Golddust at Nyack to let her know that my son is a big boy and the kids in his class are three girls babies to make jokes about seven-year-old kids like their dinosaurs so he needs a class that is either on Saturdays or where the kids at least talk to his armpits as well you have to contact Holt Renfrew and ask them what to do with the dress which is been torn to shreds from being in the closet or possibly just fell apart on wearing the first time because that is the cast you need to do prior to me leaving on my excursion in the next couple of days and I’m going to run over somebody is walking really slowly on the crosswalk by pick you up Savannah

Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos.

WTF?!?

How does this help me?

None of this makes any sense, or reminds me to do anything… I have no idea what I was trying to say, or follow up on, nor will I ever know.

As an aside, since I detest siri so much now, I use the Australian Siri because at the very least I get to hear her awesome accent.

What’s your experiences like with Siri?