True Story! A Short Story Involving Rob Ford, a Bra and The Urban Daddy


This is a true story about me, The Urban Daddy, my house in the mean streets of Urban Toronto, Ontario, Canada, a black bra and the Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford – or more specifically, the Mayor’s one-time indiscretion.  The message was received loud and clear:

I walked outside my front door to take out the garbage this morning and there was a brand new bra laying on my front steps. The Price tag was still on. It was just laying there…black bra on ground

The message I took away from this heinous act is either this;

1. That I need to lose weight, or;
2. That while I thought I fell asleep on the couch last night while reading tax-reporting procedures for income trusts, I must have actually had one helluva night in one of my #DrunkenStupors.

Either way, I need to cut back on the #crack…

Butt crack and the kind the Mayor keeps finding at gas stations, and variety stores here in Toronto.

Are there any “boob” or “bra” related comments you can add? I’m curious as to the “breast” you can do. (Surely better than that one, eh?)

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford will NOT Take a Leave of Absense


A press conference at 4pm Toronto time has taken place around 4:30pm and at that conference Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced that he is not going to take a leave of absence in order to get his addictions under control.

Crack, alcohol, reading a book while driving, being over-weight, caught lying, and the list goes on – this right-wing politician has been under fire from the left-wing Toronto media more than any politician in my lifetime.  Ford announced that he has kept these addictions under wraps from his family, his friends, his brother and from the councillors.  Ford is going to stay on to earn back the respect of the public.  At the end of the day if it makes him a better human being and a healthier one, then he needs everybody’s support, no matter what you think about his weight, or his political views.

He is a human.  He has addiction problems and he needs our help.

Ford said he was elected by the people and if they don’t want him as Mayor, then don’t re-elect him in 2014.  Democracy.

Imagine if the media paid as much attention to the billions of dollars that the Ontario government has wasted of taxpayer money – the services they delisted in order to pay for their mistakes and the lies, deception and shredding of documents that happened.

Or if Toronto was Montreal and there were 4 mayors in a short time frame and accusations of corruption and ties to the underworld. That too is horrible.

But this is Toronto, and if it’s okay for publications like NOW magazine to put Ford’s face on a naked, fat body (bullying some would say) and for Ford to be tailed, his phone’s tapped and people snapping videos of him walking down the street.

It’s a double standard that right-wing politicians have to be able to handle.

As a fiscal conservative – I’m all in favour of protecting taxpayers money and not raising taxes in order to cover up for mistakes, and Ford was the only choice in the 2010 election given the alternative was a candidate who was the deputy minister in charge of a portfolio which blew a billion dollars.

I have taken a lot of heat over my choice to support a fiscally conservative candidate vs., my support of Rob Ford. I appreciate the work Ford has done – the shovels are in the ground for subways which few other mayors were able to achieve, and garbage collection in the city is fantastic.

Any fiscally conservative politician might have been able to get this done…

Maybe.

But under the pressure from the press, and from the councillors who are getting tired of answering question after question about Ford, Rob has decided to not take a break from City Hall in order to get his life in order.

So what has the last 3-years of Ford’s leadership achieved for the city of Toronto?

Press and publicity for the city of Toronto. Press and publicity for the councillors who try to get things done in the City on a daily basis in (my opinion) the most backward way possible – ie, the $0.05 bag tax or LRT’s, St. Clair, etc. These guys and gals are famous. On newscasts around the world, and finally at the centre of attention.

If Ford steps aside, where will they get their publicity?

Will anyone care about the work at City Hall?

Will there be any checks into the spending of the left?

Stay tuned.

Those who will cheer with joy if Ford steps aside will be in their own #DrunkedStupor and will certainly take to Facebook again to criticize the man for his personal faults, and not for the faults of the position he holds.

Why would anyone with fiscally conservative ideals want to run for anything in this city?

In case anyone is wondering Ford’s decision, here are some other examples of politicians who have admitted drug use and have not resigned or have gone on to bigger and better things;

Bill Clinton:

The former president famously admitted in 1992 to trying marijuana while he was attending Oxford University. “I didn’t inhale it…” was his famous comment.

Marion Barry: 

Arguably the most infamous on this list is former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, who was arrested back in 1991 on charges of possession of cocaine. He’s even been called a “compulsive user of cocaine.” Well, D.C. residents weren’t fazed, because he was re-elected into office in 1994.  In 2005, Barry pled guilty to misdemeanor charges stemming from an IRS investigation, and during that hearing it was revealed that he tested positive for cocaine and marijuana.

President Barack Obama:

Obama experimented with cocaine in his college days, and once commented that he used marijuana “When I was a kid, I inhaled often, that was the point.”

Michael Bloomberg:

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg admitted that he smoked some weed in his past when he said; “You bet I did. And I enjoyed it.” 

Sarah Palin:

Once quoted as saying that she too smoked marijuana.

George Bush:

Known to have been a wild partier – cocaine use – he was known to say; “I’ve made mistakes” and “We had some pretty wild parties back in the day, and I just don’t remember.”

Al Gore:

The former vice president and climate change activist did admit that he smoked marijuana.

Arnold Schwarzenegger:

The Terminator and former California governor is actually smoking weed in the 1977 documentary “Pumping Iron.”

The relationship between the number of children and the number of pictures of each child.


There used to be a clear relationship between the number of children and the number of pictures of each child.  It was a negative relationship.

Developing film was expensive – especially this new colour film stuff – so back in the day the first child had the most photos taken of them.  The next child had less, and with each additional child came fewer and fewer pictures of that child.

In my own home, for example – and my father was an amateur photographer – my older sister had 2 albums of pictures of her put together by our parents and I had almost one album filled up.

So with three kids of my own, I suspected that would be the pattern to expect, however I have found the opposite to be true.

With the invention of digital prints, and smart phones taking really great pictures, we have found that our third child (which also is a girl after 2 boys) has the most photos taken of all the children.

Basically the iPhone evened the odds.

As the 2nd child, I say thank you to technology on behalf of every child not born first.

Why Do Birds Fly in a “V” Formation Revealed


birds in a v formationMy 8yo son and I were in the car today when we saw about 300 birds flying overhead.

“BIRDS!!!” he blurted out.

“If we’re lucky, we will see them flying in the “V” formation as they head south for the winter”, I responded in my daddy-teacher voice.

“Why do they fly in a “v”-formation?  Is it because “V” is the only letter they know how to spell?” he asked.

We laughed.

“it’s because the lead bird is the navigator bird, and all the other birds follow the lead bird and are just off to the side so that they can see where the lead bird is going and stay in formation.”

Sounded good, right?

Not so much.

My 8-year-old responded with this;

“Actually… The birds fly in the “V” formation for aerodynamics.  There is less drag on the flock if the fly like that.  The same reason airplanes won’t fly behind one another.  They need to be able to stay up in the air so they would fly off to the side.”

Errr, yeah.  That’s what I meant.

NaBloPoMo Day 2. My Kids Came Through.


I love you as much as... Hello Kitty
I love you as much as… Hello Kitty

Today is the 2nd day of NaBloPoMo and my kids came through when I was looking for something interesting to write about.  At lunch, my 3-year-old daughter Boo, turned to me and said this;

“I love you Daddy”.

“I love you too”, I replied with a smile.

“I love you SO much, Daddy”, she went on to say.  “I love you SO SO much”.

Before I had a chance to reply again, she went off…

“I love you SO SO SO much, Daddy.  I love you and mummy more than anything in the entire world.  I love you and mummy as much as I love my brothers.  I love them so much and I love you and mummy so much.”

Takes a breath.

“I love you and mummy and my brothers and my aunt, grandma, grandpa, Bubi, Zaidy, More Bubi and Tita.”

“You know what else I love as much as all of you?  I love my bed, and my toys.  And I love my hair, and what I am wearing today.  I love chocolate and I love candy, and I love my teeth – and brushing them to keep them from falling out – and I love the sun, and the grass, and I love wood, and I love the table and the table cloth.  I love Hello Kitty and I love colouring and I LOVE school, and…”

Another breath, interrupted by a smile to me.

Then a pause.

I didn’t know what to say… All I could process in my mind over and over again was that she loves me as much as wood…