Thursday Thirteen – 13 Things You Should Never do in a Coffee Shop


I spend a lot of time on the road as a result of my business, and that means a lot of time in coffee shops working, drinking coffee and eating coffee shop food.

I’m a huge fan of Starbucks for making the space and WiFi available for entrepreneurs and I find the Second Cup comes in a very close second.

Spending time in these places means that I see a lot of people come, go, and stay at these locations and I know what the 13 things that people do at coffee shops that you should never, ever, do!

Yet, I see these, almost daily.

Here are the 13 Coffee Shop WTF’s

 

  1. Watching videos without ear phones! OMG, people do this all the time!  They watch movies, or stupid YouTube videos and loudly because the coffee shops are loud.  Just last week, I swear, 3 construction workers were watching porn…
  2. Playing games without ear phones – what’s worse than listening to some idiot watching a movie really loudly?  Listening to someone playing a video game loudly.  The shooting, or the music or the pings, and beeps… AArgghh.
  3. Dancing – On more than one occasion, I have seen men, random men, get up and start dancing in the middle of a coffee shop, in the middle of the day, and it’s most often older men, and not young men.  Then, as quickly as they get up, they sit back down and continue with their day.
  4. Singing – Yes, people with headphones on, usually sing along with their music, and knowing that coffee shops are generally loud with music and conversation, its safe to hum along, that is until the music goes quiet, the buzz dies, and their voice rises.  Then they’re entertaining the entire place, or giving us all reason to put in our ear plugs.
  5. Leaving your cup at the table – This is a dick move!  You buy a drink, take up space, then just get up and leave your stuff everywhere.  It’s usually a guy-move, the odd girl does it too.  I honestly feel like getting up, grabbing their stuff, following them, and handing it to them and saying; “Dude!  You mommy isn’t here to pick up after you.  Put your garbage in the garbage, and never do that again!”
  6. Being a dick, then asking for someone to watch your stuff – So what makes someone a dick?  Aside from the items identified above, and the ones below, there are other obvious signs that someone is a dick, such as dragging the chair out, even though it is really loud and distracting, then slamming your stuff on the table, having loud conversations, letting your phone ring without answering it (it can be silenced) or by the way you treat others.  Then after causing destruction, you get up and ask the entire table to watch your stuff so you can use the washroom?  No, so you can go outside, have a smoke, then come in smelling like an ashtray… No less that 4-times and hour…
  7. Not showering / putting on deodorant before sitting all day, in the sun – Then please, come in and sit beside me, so I can’t breathe!  Then take off your shoes… Barf.
  8. Really smelly perfume / body spray / Cologne – Remember those scents which you used to love?  I was always a HUGE fan of Maki.  I’d smell it and then spin to see who was wearing it.  I had a girlfriend when I was younger who wore it which brings back great memories.  In the present, however… People are sensitive to scents, so coming in to public place smelling like you have drunken half a bottle of perfume / cologne, and it’s oozing out of your pores, is cruel.  Especially those scents your grandmother used to wear 40-years-ago.
  9. Walking in to the mobile order area and just taking a drink  – This is not cool any time, but it’s so much worse if you then telling the guy you’re with that you’re doing it, or worse, taking a drink, then taking a drink of that drink and then putting it back…
  10. Being a pervert – It’s summer.  We get it, it’s hot, people wear less clothing – men and women – so don’t leer, drool, comment, make faces, gestures, etc. It’s gross and inappropriate.  I especially feel this applies to the old men who sit there with their wives, and take it to an extreme… Watching people come and go is one thing, but checking out peoples asses as they walk by, and leering takes it to a whole different level
  11. Joggers – I’m a huge fan of joggers, and I respect the effort you make to run for that long, but if you want to come in and grab a drink, after a 45-minute run, in your teeny-weeny running gear, and you’re smelly, and sweating all over the chair, and table, you might want to run home first and then come and perspire over everyone.
  12. Farting – Here’s the deal… people fart. I get it. But if you’re in public and listening to really loud music / TV, etc., and you think you are letting a little one slip out, it’s really a very loud blast which echos because of the curvature and texture of the seat you are sitting on.  That is not cool, and when you wonder why everyone is looking at you…
  13. Being creepy – There are creepy people and then there are creepy people.  The guy / girl who stare at you like they want to steal your stuff, or ask you out are common.  You learn to watch for them, but the guy who is leering at the 10-year-old girl across the coffee shop like he’s trying to picture her naked crosses a line!  Or, the guy with the cell phone taking random pictures or videos of people in the place, or who keeps dropping things to see if any of the women are wearing skirts, takes creepiness to a whole new level.  To that person I saw this; Everyone knows what you are doing!  We want you to leave, get help, and never do that again.

 

What have you seen in a coffee shop which either grossed you out, or found to be inappropriate?

 

 

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Man, I Feel Old… Or Uncool… Or Both


What the heck is a “dab”?

Seriously…

Where did it start and why are kids “dabbing” all the time…

When I was young, me and my pet dinosaur never dabbed… We were too busy walking 20km to and from school in 10 feet of snow, uphill both ways, with shoes which had holes in them because we used to actually go outside and run around when we had a free moment.

We didn’t dab!!!

The world is not a better / safer place from the Dab!

Unless I can dab while karate chopping someone with my lead dabbing arm…

Ugh.

Whatever!

This fad will go the way of the Bell Bottom jeans, the Beehive hairdo and the Macarena, right!

Hey, it’s WTF Friday!


It’s finally Friday!  Yay.  A long week which saw me pick up a nasty bug from either one of my kids or from a client then a 4:15am bedtime followed by a 2:30am bedtime the following night.  I was, of course, in the kitchen by 6:45am both mornings – as always if I’m not running (or I’d be up at 5:30am) to get the kids breakfasts and lunches ready.

I feel like today my brain turned back on, and I had a little jump back in my step (and was keeping all my food down!)

But enough about me…

It’s WTF Friday!  That means I get to talk to about shit on my mind in this NSFW post, like;

1) If NASA can put a fucking camera on a comet, and the damn thing Tweets, why do I spend so much time and get so frustrated having to unwind my headset each and every time I try to use it!  Maybe Apple should task NASA with finding a solution.

2) Is it considered “getting help” if I take the advice of the fortune in a fortune cookie?  I want to write those!  It would be fun.  Instead of cryptic texts with random “lucky” numbers, mine would be encouraging, positive and shaming at the same time.

“If you clean your room you might get screen time.”

“Your parents really do know what’s best for you.”

“Stop annoying your brother / sister.  One day they’ll be bigger than you and kick your ass.”

“If you see brown on the floor.  Pick it up, but smell it first.  That chocolate chip might be poo.”

3) Anyone else notice that the idiot drivers who are regularly driving 20km/h under the speed limit never stop at stop signs.  Why break only one traffic violation when you can break them all.

4) Is it too much to expect the elected officials in this city to turn on their brains – think outside the box and see that the city needs more dedicated left-turn and right-turn / bus lanes.  So when a new development wants to build 10 stories on a corner and the official plan allows for 6 stories instead of giving in the planners need to start conceding height but making the developer cut back the size of the property to allow for the road to be made wider, and then they get to go higher.  City wins, developer wins, residents win.

5) Speaking of developments… Anyone here in Toronto try driving on Eglinton Avenue anywhere where the LRT / subway is being “constructed”?  If so, I feel bad for you.  It’s been an absolute nightmare getting out to Eglinton near Allen Road because the exits to Eglinton are blocked / closed / one way, and with all the cars getting off of Eglinton and using the side streets, it makes for an interesting 5 or 6 more years.  GAG.

6) Did I mention that my coffee maker died?  The lights were on but nobody was home.  Turns out the heating fuse burned out.  Not bad after 10-years and for $19.99 from Canadian Tire.  But this crushed me!  I really wanted a Keurig or a Tassimo but I promised my wife I would win one, or be given one because she knows that the second I get one it’ll be all coffee, all the time!  In the interim, I’ve been using my French press and borrowed one from my sister.

7)  The day after my coffee maker died, my all-in-one desktop computer started smoking and died.  I’ve been a little gun-shy since.

So there is my bitching for the end of a Friday.

Thursday Thirteen


Today’s Thursday Thirteen focusses on 13 plain dumb ass band names – mainly gathered from listening to Octane on my XM Radio.

I would have had an easier time pulling this list from the XM Lithium station, however I find there are way too many alternative bands with just plain stupid names. Listening to Octane made it that much more challenging but I’m pretty sure I got a great list!

So sit back and check out this list.  Be prepared to tell me if you agree or disagree and surely, you must know one too…

13. Skillet – oh yes. This was the band name that gave me this idea., Someone thought to name their band after a fucking frying pan. Dumb asses

12. Brother – Huh? Brother?!? Really. Not only is that dumb but lame too. Then again, it could have been…

11. Viva Brother – Ohhhh. Really? WTF is that name?!?

10. Death Cab for Cutie – Seriously, right? Someone signed this band to a label / helped them produce some music. Probably giggling the whole time.

9.   Dum Dum Girls – Enough said!

8.   Passion Pit – Was this not the diner that the kids from Beverly Hills 90125 used to hang out at drinking sodas and talking about being such wholesome rich kids?!?  Oh, that was the Peach Pit… Same crap.

7.   Art of Dying – Is there an art of dying?!?  Sure… Listen to this band.  I might make you want to die.

6.   Duck Sauce – Any band that releases a song – which has become a bit of a hit I must say… On the kids stations – which consists of just music and a voice saying “Barbra Streisand” over and over and over again, must be same Soya sauce.  Or was it Sweet and Sour sauce?!?  Ah, no, it was Duck Sauce…

5.  Madam Adam – Is this band related to Penny with a Penis???  I’m sorry I asked that… I don’t want to know!

4.   Arctic Monkeys – Errr, okay.  Nothing better came to mind here than arctic monekys…Yikes.

3.   10 Years – 10 Years to what?  10 years from what?  I don’t understand.  10 years to make it big, 10 years in jail. or it took 10 years to come up with this dumb ass band name.  Maybe you needed 10 more years than you could call yourselves the Arctic Monkeys… 

2.   Breaking Benjamin – Really?  Breaking Benjamin… In half?  WTF is all I have to say.

1.   Hoobastank – Yeah.  Hoobastank.  Might as well be Hooba-skank for all we know.  I’m sorry here, but a pitiful name is a pitiful name.

So what do you have?!?