Thursday 13 – 13 Things You WILL Be Talking About Today.

It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure to compile such a list, but here are the 13 Things you WILL be talking about today (and tomorrow, etc)

  1. You know you’re a Dad when… Breakfast on my way to a meeting this morning was: a handful of stale pretzels, a handful of peanuts, a Clementine orange and a container of 1-day-old cucumber slices.

  2. Not busy enough on Twitter, US President Donald Trump is stirring up the debate on abortion with his fellow males.  Donald, in less that 140 characters, I want to tell you this, “Stay out of my uterus!”

  3. Scientists – and I love me some science – are going to make tomatoes taste delicious again!  YAY.  For those of you who have been reading The Urban Daddy for a long-time, you will remember that I love gardening and my favourite thing to grow… Tomatoes!

  4. The “Doomsday clock” has moved to 11:58pm for the first time since like 1954.  This means nothing to me, to be honest, and I didn’t even like the cartoon Doonsbury, so there!

5. GM is cutting 800 Canadian jobs and moving them to Mexico… Damn.  I hope Trump doesn’t hear that.  In retaliation, Canada has agreed to build a wall between Canada and Mexico.  Damn you capitalism!!!

6. I don’t know where you live, but here in Toronto where we need road tolls to keep the 905’ers out (see wall building), we have pot holes the size of, well, Mexico.  One such pot hole cost my wife her front tire and rim.  Damn you Mexico!

  1. Mary Tyler Moore passed away, and after being reacquainted with her show recently I came to realize that her TV feminism was inspiring and much needed.  She will be missed.

  2. The Toronto Maple Leafs do not stink… Am I dead???

9. I read somewhere that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s mother had met the Donald (see President Trump earlier) back in the 70’s.  I thought the writer was trying to convince us that Donald Trump was his father, and when I told this to someone, they said, “Trump?  No.  Castro, yes!  They even look alike!!”  What?!?

  1. New expression in The Urban Daddy dictionary; “Playing your trump card”  Means saying whatever it takes to get what you want.  Truth, lies, half-truths… whatever!

  2. Trumpanomics.  Putting America first.  Hopefully Canada second. Could change direction at a moments Tweet and may or may not be accurate or true… Nobody knows…

  3. 2 hours before turning over reigns of the US to Trump, Former President Obama sent $221 million dollars to the Palestinian authority.  It would be a shame if that money was not used to build infrastructure and was used by the “leadership” to acquire weapons, build tunnels or for their pockets.  If you want your own state, start acting like responsible leaders and put your people first!  As for Obama… Not cool!

  4. One week of President Trump and here is what we know:  Torture good, Mexico bad.  Jobs good, jobs from tourists in Islamic countries bad. Woman bad. Free Trade bad. The Apprentice good. Climate change – fake.  Vaccinations – fake.

  5. (It’s my Trump calculations…) Tim Horton’s is opening up in… Gulp… Mexico.  Don’t tell Trump.  He’ll kick the coffee company out of the US.  Or, those in the southern US will need a really long straw to sip those yummy Timmy’s beverages.


How do you know it’s election time in Canada?

How can you tell it’s election time in Canada? 

For me, it’s quite easy… My wife won’t let me discuss politics with her.  You see, we have that kind of relationship where I’m right and she’s wrong about voting, hence the reason she never tells me who she votes for – although I suspect it’s a wasted vote on, like the Green Party or something like that.  It drives me crazy that she won’t let me educate her… I’m sure once she hears my side, she’ll want to vote Conservative for ever and ever. I mean who wouldn’t want to vote Conservative to get that nanny tax credit they are proposing… Seriously. We have a nanny, the credit is really nice. Thank you Stephen!

I can also tell for sure that Joe Volpe is NOT running in my riding. How can I tell? I opened my mailbox and I had a flyer for the Green Party.

For those of you who had not heard, Volpe is in a tough fight against Conservative Joe Oliver – a super nice guy I met while living in that riding and one of Volpe’s staffers was caught taking the Green Party literature out of mailboxes of houses and recycling them. Sure it’s really wrong, but he was recycling them… That’s awfully Green of him, no?

Also going on anti-Liberal is the fact that in my riding, St. Pauls, some wack-job is keying cars and cutting brake lines of people who have Liberal signs on their front lawns. Scary, and one of the reasons we don’t put up lawn signs (OK, that’s not the reason. I’d have the largest Conservative sign allowed by law if possible but Urban Mummy would want one and that would tip me off on the way she votes).

Does the name, Prime Minister Jack Layton scare the living shit out of anyone like it does to me? This party has no finance minister…

Layton, who I predicted is dying to get his ego into power, will do and say anything to get elected. I hope people in Ontario remember the Bob Rae NDP government and how it destroyed economic prosperity in Ontario. It even chased Rae to the Liberals.

Fringe parties like this have no real platform as they have no real expectation of getting in to power.

I fear a Liberal – NDP coalition with Jack Layton as the PM, however if this does happen and the economy goes into the shitter, at least I could turn to those of you tree-huggers who love Jack’s quips and give you the big, “I told you so”.

If left-leaning folks who are smart enough to have great jobs, raise children, and prosper in Canada choose to vote for the NDP because they dislike Stephen Harper – then they get what they deserve! The Canadian economy is in the best shape of all the G8 countries in the world, there is no denying that. Like him or not, it’s because of the Conservative policies, and Stephen Harper’s leadership.

And speaking of stupidity – what’s up with those idiots hanging around subway stations in Toronto trying to get people to vote for a party / leader other than Harper’s Conservatives. Do these knobs not realize that Toronto has ALWAYS been Liberal red no matter the issue – scandal or no scandal.

Go back to the old folks home and stop wasting our time… Stupid protestors… They are as dumb and misguided as the Liberals are for bring in the living fossil, Jean Chretien, our former – full of scandal – PM to Toronto to campaign with Iggy. Again… Toronto = Liberal Red. Go to Quebec with him Iggy. not Toronto. Geez.

Jack Layton… Prime Minister… YIKES.

And what’s up with the Liberals? Stephane Dion was a joke (Celine Dion would have had a better chance), Michael Ignatieff – who never attended parliament – was hard to connect with and now Justin Trudeau is speaking out about the troubles the Liberals are having connecting to voters. How about throwing your party leader under the bus, eh Trudeau?

Yes, Iggy was a poor choice and yes, forcing an election when people didn’t want it, nor could afford it – and with the country moving so well was a huge gamble for the Liberals and they stand to be punished for it, like they have never been punished before. Imagine falling below the NDP in the polls. LOL.

Also noted my MP, Dr. Carolyn Bennett likes to stay away from Parliament as much as her leader does…

Yes, it’s time for a change, folks.  Out with the old, in with the new. We surely can’t get worse service in our constituencies…

But let’s put it all in perspective and vote for the best platform, not the funniest candidate.