Can I Tell You About: Fenestration


Can I tell you about frustration, err, Fenestration…  You tell me if you’ve had an experience like this before.

First off, this is Fenestration:

Fenestration.JPG

Fenestration stands 68 inches tall and 88 inches wide.

I hate her!

I mean, she’s nice and all, but I hate her because of the bad memories that come with her as a result of a bad decision on my part, and my inability to be mean / stand up for myself.

When my wife and I purchased our previous house, Fenestration was hanging in the family room over the couch.  They room had a built-in wall unit on one wall, a built-in fireplace on the other wall, and a window on the third wall.  With 12 foot ceilings, Fenestration made the room.

But it wasn’t ours… It was art which belonged to the previous owner.

On moving day, the previous owner asked me if we had any interest in Fenestration, because it was too big for his new condo, and it really made the room.

I agreed, and figured that after buying the house, it was a nice throw in which I could always sell if we found something nicer.

“Great!” he said… “Just give me $200 bucks for it.”

<screecchhhh>

“What? $200 bucks???  I don’t want it, thanks anyways”, was my reply.

“No, you should keep it”, he declared.

“Okay, but I’m not paying $200 bucks for it”, was my response.

Apparently, I wasn’t clear, because I had no intention on paying him for this painting and he expected $200 from me, that he showed up at the house 6 times over the next 2 weeks asking for the $200.

I finally told him to come get the painting, but he somehow talked me out of that.

So I caved…

Gave him $200.

Told my wife he backed off his price.

She didn’t buy that story for a second.

So Fenestration hung on the wall for almost 5-years at that house, reminding me that I should have told him to take the damn thing or better, to just throw it in since we had bought his damn house.

Then we moved again… 5 years ago…

One of the last things I moved was Fenestration!

Rode down the main street at 2 in the morning with Fenestration flapping up and down due to the wind.  She refused to break… Damn her!

And now in our new house, Fenestration lives in the basement playroom beside the treadmill and under the hanging TV.  I use that treadmill twice a week, and each time I curse Fenestration!

I tried to sell Fenestration recently, asking $200.01 for the painting and had some quick responses.  One asked me to take $50, the other $150.  Neither deals went through.

I even go an offer from Nigeria to sell Fenestration for $10,000, but I balked at giving them my bank details, social insurance number and PIN number.

This summer, I will sell Fenestration!  I have to.  But I will always have this post to remind me about her, and of course, my wife and he story which might start like this; “… remember that time you stupidly…”

No Tres-Passing… Once, Twice or even Three Times…


It’s amazing what you get from a 6-year-old who blends the English language with another language and processes it using their special wit and humour.

While stopped at a red light, my daughter must have noticed a sign which read;

She asked me; “What does No Trespassing mean, Daddy?”

“It means you are not allowed on that property / land… Why? Where did you see that?” I asked.

“Oh, over there, in the construction site” she answered.

Then she continued… “But I thought “trespassing” meant you had to pass the place 3 times… Like Uno, Dues, Tres… you know, Daddy… Tres-passing…”

“Ah, I know dear… Very clever!”

I love it.

 

Doors Open Toronto – May 27th and 28th


Discover the story behind every door at #DoorsOpenOntario 2017!

Join the Ontario Heritage Trust for the 2017 Doors Open Ontario season which includes 44 additional events across the province From May to October.

Explore more than 1,000 sites that help tell Ontario’s stories, from local breweries to natural landscapes, century-old cabins to modern marvels of engineering, and experience Ontario’s unique history from a new perspective. Commemorate the 150th anniversary of Confederation with themed activities, tours, exhibitions and demonstrations – all free of charge! For detailed event information and interactive tools to help you plan your Doors Open Ontario experience, visit doorsopenontario.on.ca.

Many Nations and many peoples have called this place home. MyOntario – A vision over time marks this long history by opening a conversation among Ontarians about our experiences, identities, values and aspirations. Capture your Doors Open Ontario moments and join the conversation: heritagetrust.on.ca/myontario.

Doors Open Ontario – recognized as one of the 2017 Top 100 Festivals & Events in Ontario – is a program of the Ontario Heritage Trust, with funding support provided by the Ontario150 program.

QUOTES

“The Ontario Heritage Trust’s Doors Open Ontario enables Ontarians to explore our vibrant and diverse heritage. Whether old or new, each site offers a glimpse into our shared history as Ontarians – discover these fascinating sites and the stories they tell, and join us as we explore our history, identity and cultural heritage.” – Beth Hanna, Chief Executive Officer, Ontario Heritage Trust

“Ontario’s 150th anniversary is an opportunity to come together and celebrate the incredible province we live in. Doors Open Ontario highlights our rich history through our province’s most fascinating cultural sites. I encourage all Ontarians and visitors to join the festivities and explore Ontario’s heritage during this exciting year.” − Eleanor McMahon, Minister of Tourism, Culture and Sport

Quick Facts

  • Doors Open Ontario 2017 features over 1,000 sites participating in 45 events across the province.
  • 93% of the provincial population live in a community that has hosted a Doors Open Ontario event.
  • Since its inception, Doors Open Ontario has attracted 6.7 million visitors to explore over 16,700 amazing sites.
  • Visitors to Doors Open Ontario contribute to local economies by spending over $5 million in participating communities each year.

Doors Open Ontario 2017 alphabetical list of events

Aurora August 19
Belleville and District September 16
Bradford West Gwillimbury June 17
Brampton September 30
Brockville and the Thousand Islands May 27-28
Bruce County June 10-11
Burlington September 30
Carleton Place September 16-17
Clarington June 10
Cornwall August 19-20
East Elgin September 16
Erin June 10
Fergus-Elora June 17
Gravenhurst June 24
Grimsby September 23
Guelph April 22
Halton Region September 30 – October 1
Hamilton May 6-7
Kawartha Lakes September 9-10
King Township September 23
Kingston June 17
London September 16-17
Markham September 30
Minden Hills September 16-17
Mississauga September 23
Niagara-on-the-Lake September 16-17
Northumberland County June 3-4
Orillia and Area September 30
Oshawa September 30
Ottawa June 3-4
Owen Sound June 3-4
Oxford-Norwich September 23
Peterborough May 6
Quinte West September 16
Richmond Hill May 13
Rideau Lakes August 19-20
St. Catharines June 24
St. Marys September 30
Stormont, Dundas and Glengarry August 19-20
Timmins September 30
Toronto May 27-28
Waterloo Region September 16
Wellington North September 23
Whitby May 6
Whitchurch-Stouffville June 3

The Trust is an agency of the Government of Ontario dedicated to identifying, preserving, protecting and promoting Ontario’s heritage.

doorsopenontario.on.ca heritagetrust.on.ca ontario.ca/150  Facebook: Ontario Heritage Trust  Twitter: @ONheritage Instagram: ONheritage #DoorsOpenOntario #MyOntario #Ontario150

SOURCE Ontario Heritage Trust

For further information: about Doors Open Ontario 2017, contact Kimberly Murphy at 416-325-5074 or kimberly.murphy@heritagetrust.on.ca.

RELATED LINKS http://www.heritagetrust.on.ca

 

Spring Has Sprung, the Grass Has Riz, I Wonder Where the Birdies Is?!?


Ahh, spring.

Ahhh Spring…

Ah-chooooooooo… Damn.  It’s spring.

 

Spring time is finally appearing here in Southern Ontario and aside from the increasing temperatures, here are the 13 most obvious ways to tell that Spring has Sprung.

  1. Sports cars in need of muffler repair and convertible cars are zooming around, blasting their horrid music and looking for attention

  2. A.L.L.E.R.G.I.E.S

  3. People are wearing colours again!  Yay.  Winter is dreary enough and everyone in black makes it that much more bland and blah.

  4. People begin to stink.  Not from sweat, at least not yet, but now is the time of year when they think a little bit of cologne or perfume might be a good idea but it’s not.  It’s horrid if I can smell it over a super-stuffy nose. (See 12)

9.  TAXES!!!  It’s tax time!!  Don’t forget to file, even if you think you don’t owe.  File, file, file!  If you need help anywhere in Canada, search up and hit up inTAXicating.

8.  Flips flops and PJ’s make their returns to coffee shops.  In the winter it’s just too darn cold to roll out of bed and drive or walk to the local coffee shop, but not in the spring!

7.  Exposed skin everywhere on everyone, male, female, young, old… If it’s in combination with leggings or yoga pants, it’s a bonus!

6.  I see neighbours!  Seriously, I cannot believe how little we get out in the winter – especially with kids programs keeping us out and around – I found out this morning that our neighbour had a baby and we didn’t even know she was pregnant.  So hard to tell covered in a giant Canada Goose jacket.

5.  Bikes everywhere!  And I’ve mellowed over the years, so I want bikes and bike lanes everywhere.  I also want safe and clean public transit and I want better roads and more parking for cars.  I want everyone to commute and be happy and healthy and safe.  Hey, City of Toronto… If you want business owners to thrive and survive, back off the parking tickets for people who park in actual spots.  If they park illegally, or block traffic, tag and tow them, but let businesses earn money!

4.  Joggers abound!  I’ve always said that out-of-shape joggers (like myself) run at night when no one can see them shaking and bouncing around or hear them gasping for air.  The fit joggers run during the day where everyone can see them.  Whatever your motivation, just run!

3.  My lawn kicks ass!  My front lawn is very green and soft.  I put the snow on it in the winter before the City salts the street or sidewalk and in the spring, and it makes a difference.  It’s so nice, and I have a neighbour who doesn’t talk to anyone but I catch him walking across the street and touching my grass in awe.  Love it!

2.  Change!  Changes come in spring.  People clean their houses, change their jobs, their clothes, their demeanor, and even the homeless-looking guy who visits the Starbucks I frequent cut off his ridiculously long white beard.  Wouldn’t have recognized him – looks somewhat respectable now – except for the same army fatigue pants he wears every day and the shmatta (towel?) he covers his head with.

1.Spring means an end to winter programs for my kids, so say goodbye to hockey, but it also means saying hello to baseball (call me “coach”) and to being able to throw a ball around and walk to park and shoot hoops, or go for a bike ride, and work at losing the winter gut and getting back into a shape that doesn’t resemble a pear.

3 cheers to spring!

Hip hip, hooray

Hip hip hooray.

Hip… Hip… Achhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooo

 

Geez, I hate spring!

 

 

 

Family Day 2017 at the Art Gallery of Ontario.


agoKite-making, skipping ropes and short films, oh my!

Kids take over the AGO for Family Day

 

WHAT:          On Monday, Feb. 20, the Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO) once again transforms into the Kids’ Gallery of Ontario (KGO), with a jam-packed line up of artful activities inspired by the ongoing exhibition Francis Alÿs: A Story of Negotiation. Programming highlights include kite-making and bubble wrap-bursting, Gallery tours, family yoga, exciting interactive performances by the SOAR children’s skipping team and a screening of Small Cave, Big Cave, a new short film written by two Toronto seven-year-olds.

For more programming details and information on how to book discounted family passes, visit http://www.ago.net/family.

WHEN:          Feb. 20, 2017

Activities take place from 10:30 a.m. – 4 p.m.; please visit ago.net/family for a complete schedule of activities and times.

WHERE:       Art Gallery of Ontario.  317 Dundas St. W. Toronto, ON

TICKETS:     Admission is free for AGO members and children five and under. A special discounted family pass is available for advance purchase at www.ago.net/family for only $39. A family pass admits two adults and up to five youths (ages six to 17). Individual tickets are $11 for youth ages 17 and under, $16 for seniors and $19.50 for adults and can be purchased at ago.net, in person and over the phone at 416-979-6648.