Thursday Thirteen – 13 Things You Should Never do in a Coffee Shop


I spend a lot of time on the road as a result of my business, and that means a lot of time in coffee shops working, drinking coffee and eating coffee shop food.

I’m a huge fan of Starbucks for making the space and WiFi available for entrepreneurs and I find the Second Cup comes in a very close second.

Spending time in these places means that I see a lot of people come, go, and stay at these locations and I know what the 13 things that people do at coffee shops that you should never, ever, do!

Yet, I see these, almost daily.

Here are the 13 Coffee Shop WTF’s

 

  1. Watching videos without ear phones! OMG, people do this all the time!  They watch movies, or stupid YouTube videos and loudly because the coffee shops are loud.  Just last week, I swear, 3 construction workers were watching porn…
  2. Playing games without ear phones – what’s worse than listening to some idiot watching a movie really loudly?  Listening to someone playing a video game loudly.  The shooting, or the music or the pings, and beeps… AArgghh.
  3. Dancing – On more than one occasion, I have seen men, random men, get up and start dancing in the middle of a coffee shop, in the middle of the day, and it’s most often older men, and not young men.  Then, as quickly as they get up, they sit back down and continue with their day.
  4. Singing – Yes, people with headphones on, usually sing along with their music, and knowing that coffee shops are generally loud with music and conversation, its safe to hum along, that is until the music goes quiet, the buzz dies, and their voice rises.  Then they’re entertaining the entire place, or giving us all reason to put in our ear plugs.
  5. Leaving your cup at the table – This is a dick move!  You buy a drink, take up space, then just get up and leave your stuff everywhere.  It’s usually a guy-move, the odd girl does it too.  I honestly feel like getting up, grabbing their stuff, following them, and handing it to them and saying; “Dude!  You mommy isn’t here to pick up after you.  Put your garbage in the garbage, and never do that again!”
  6. Being a dick, then asking for someone to watch your stuff – So what makes someone a dick?  Aside from the items identified above, and the ones below, there are other obvious signs that someone is a dick, such as dragging the chair out, even though it is really loud and distracting, then slamming your stuff on the table, having loud conversations, letting your phone ring without answering it (it can be silenced) or by the way you treat others.  Then after causing destruction, you get up and ask the entire table to watch your stuff so you can use the washroom?  No, so you can go outside, have a smoke, then come in smelling like an ashtray… No less that 4-times and hour…
  7. Not showering / putting on deodorant before sitting all day, in the sun – Then please, come in and sit beside me, so I can’t breathe!  Then take off your shoes… Barf.
  8. Really smelly perfume / body spray / Cologne – Remember those scents which you used to love?  I was always a HUGE fan of Maki.  I’d smell it and then spin to see who was wearing it.  I had a girlfriend when I was younger who wore it which brings back great memories.  In the present, however… People are sensitive to scents, so coming in to public place smelling like you have drunken half a bottle of perfume / cologne, and it’s oozing out of your pores, is cruel.  Especially those scents your grandmother used to wear 40-years-ago.
  9. Walking in to the mobile order area and just taking a drink  – This is not cool any time, but it’s so much worse if you then telling the guy you’re with that you’re doing it, or worse, taking a drink, then taking a drink of that drink and then putting it back…
  10. Being a pervert – It’s summer.  We get it, it’s hot, people wear less clothing – men and women – so don’t leer, drool, comment, make faces, gestures, etc. It’s gross and inappropriate.  I especially feel this applies to the old men who sit there with their wives, and take it to an extreme… Watching people come and go is one thing, but checking out peoples asses as they walk by, and leering takes it to a whole different level
  11. Joggers – I’m a huge fan of joggers, and I respect the effort you make to run for that long, but if you want to come in and grab a drink, after a 45-minute run, in your teeny-weeny running gear, and you’re smelly, and sweating all over the chair, and table, you might want to run home first and then come and perspire over everyone.
  12. Farting – Here’s the deal… people fart. I get it. But if you’re in public and listening to really loud music / TV, etc., and you think you are letting a little one slip out, it’s really a very loud blast which echos because of the curvature and texture of the seat you are sitting on.  That is not cool, and when you wonder why everyone is looking at you…
  13. Being creepy – There are creepy people and then there are creepy people.  The guy / girl who stare at you like they want to steal your stuff, or ask you out are common.  You learn to watch for them, but the guy who is leering at the 10-year-old girl across the coffee shop like he’s trying to picture her naked crosses a line!  Or, the guy with the cell phone taking random pictures or videos of people in the place, or who keeps dropping things to see if any of the women are wearing skirts, takes creepiness to a whole new level.  To that person I saw this; Everyone knows what you are doing!  We want you to leave, get help, and never do that again.

 

What have you seen in a coffee shop which either grossed you out, or found to be inappropriate?

 

 

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WTF is Going on? 13 WTF Events from The Urban Daddy: Thursday 13.


This has been a WTF kind of week!  I had so much going on that I had to take all my notes and throw them into a Thursday 13 list, of 13 WTF Moments.

  1. North and South Korea peace – WTF?  Does anyone believe that peace is going to change the way poor North Koreans live?  This guy in North Korea had his brother poisoned…

  2. Now I’m CERTAIN that Donald Trump is going to take credit for North Korea coming into the fold and agreeing to de-militarize, and seek peace with South Korea.

  3. Bill Cosby – Guilty – WTF took so long?  He was a great role model and changed the way TV portrayed African Americans, however, he drugged women and raped them.  That cannot be forgiven.

10.  Am I the only person who works out of coffee shops when meeting clients and who always checks his earphone when listening to something on the phone or computer to make sure it’s the earphones I am hearing, and that I’m not annoying the rest of the shop?  3 times this week patrons were listening to crap with their headphones on, and the sound was blaring out of their device.  They kept cranking up the volume until I had to notify them…

9.  I’m creating the Coffee Shop Police Etiquette Program

8.  Remember when a former Toronto Mayoral candidate threw a sexual harassment complaint against TVO host Steve Paikin, and instead of firing him, TVO hired an investigator to determine the legitimacy of the complaints?  Turns out no proof was found to substantiate the claim.  Good on TVO for getting on top of this right away (pardon the pun) and now what happens to the host, Paikin, and complainant, Thompson?

7.  Why do people bring food into coffee shops, then proceed to sit there – chow down their meal – then leave without buying anything?  More importantly, why does it always appear to me that these people have either really huge amounts of food, or are extremely messy and chew with their mouths open?  Is this a subtle way the coffee shop is trying to tell me to buy more food / drinks or leave?  They have this guy in the back and they sick him on patrons?  Better him, than the mouth-noise guy, the guy with the disgusting mouth noises, or the dancer who – no matter the weather – is wearing a tank top and just gets up and starts dancing…

6.  There is a “thing” for men who cannot get “laid”?  Is this real?  When I was growing up, if the girls didn’t look at you, you changed.  Your clothes, your hair, your weight, you got better educated, you learned to be a better person…  Clearly, for Millenials, this is WAY too much work, so it’s better to complain to others and then kill innocent people.  Enough already!

5.  With a Provincial election coming, FINALLY, in Ontario, and the Liberal government preparing for the crash, word comes out that a policy they created has come back to bite them in the ass.  LOL.  They created a policy where the Auditor General would review the books and records of the government prior to an election and confirm the amount of surplus or deficit the government has.  Well… The Liberals said the deficit would be only $2-3 billion dollars, but the AG said, nope.  It’s closer to $11-billion.  Thanks for the lies, deceit and for bankrupting this province!  See ya, Libs!

4.  I have a GREAT piece on minor hockey corruption coming shortly.  A must read!

3.  I agreed to coach my eldest son’s baseball team again this season, and I only had one request of the league… As a die-hard Toronto Blue Jays fan, please, please, please do not make us the Yankees again this year.  I cannot for the life of me say, “Go Yankees”.  I can’t.  Like the Fonz cannot apologize.  Guess what???  We’re the Spankees again this year.  UGH.

2.  A 23yo Quebec mother was charged with 2nd degree murder after her 2-year-old daughter was stabbed to death, then her body dumped in a garbage can.  I don’t know what to say about this other than what kind of a person takes a child’s body and dumps it in the trash… Words cannot describe…

… and the number One WTF Moment from this week…

  1. Toronto – my city, my home, streets from where I grew up, worked and where my family lives and works… The tragedy, the senseless violence.  Such and evil human being.  Thank goodness for the residents of Toronto who tried to stop this lunatic, or save the victims, or pull people out of the way… Toronto the good, overshadowed Toronto the sad.

 

 

Who is this Urban Daddy character? Thursday Thirteen: 13 facts about this Canadian Blogger


Today is Thursday, which means it’s a very good time to create a Thursday Thirteen post – and the topic this week is 13 facts about The Urban Daddy.

  1. I’ve been writing this blog since 2004.  That makes for a very old blog, eh?

  2. I have written 1,434 Blog posts for The Urban Daddy

  3. I have a tax blog -for my real job – called inTAXicating, which I started in early 2008 and I have written 369 Canadian Tax posts for that site.

10.  I used to work in the Federal Government, in the Canada Revenue Agency, for almost 11-years before resigning to take a managerial position in the private sector.  The change was long overdue.

9.   In the CRA, I collected taxes, trained employees, took 3-years of my accounting designation and then completed my MBA.

8.   I don’t play many online games – after my wife freed me from my Cityville addition – I only play Tap Baseball, Clash of Clans and Tiny Tower Vegas.

7.   I live near one of the most affluent neighbourhoods, in the largest city in Canada – the 5th largest in North America, Toronto

6.   I ran for student council president of my university only to lose to some guy named Jian Ghomeshi  It was a half-assed attempt, but fun nonetheless.  I vaguely remember meeting him and his campaign manager in the main hall and one, or both of them, telling me that they were going to tear down my campaign posters and threatened me about something.  I was wearing my cowboy boots (don’t judge me) at the time, and with them stood about 6 foot 2.  I was NOT intimidated.

5.  I’m fiscally conservative but hate guns, racism and drugs.  I love common sense, saving money, and being upfront and honest.

  1. I’m a rule follower.  Clear your sidewalks.  Don’t throw snow in the street.  Don’t disrupt others.  Live and let live.

3.  I’m learning as I get older things I should have learned much younger.  Foods, anxiety, ADD, how to treat those you love…

2.  I love being a Dad.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.  Love attending events and being there for the kids.  Something I either didn’t have or don’t remember.  It was a different time back then, but still.

1.  I ran a left-handed students association at my university – the school gave us an office, and money to find areas where lefties were being discriminated against.  Our main beef was that some of the largest lecture halls had no left-handed desks, or if they did, the desks were on the far-left side of the lecture hall.  Not cool if you’re vision sucks like mine does.

 

 

Now it’s your turn.

What are 13 facts about you that make you who you are?

 

Urban Twin Mummy… You have a week.  Get started.  🙂

 

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Hilarious Search Terms…


After reading this post below at That’s What Anxious Mom Said, I felt compelled to add my own list below.

Some odd people visit my blog, and I don’t just mean those of you who pop in on a regular basis. More often that not, the terms search terms WordPress shows me that people used to get to this blog are fairly unusual. Sometimes they’re downright creepy. (Thank god I can’t see them all, or […]

via I Said What? — That’s What Anxious Mom Said

 

Here are the most recent hilarious search terms which brought visitors – maybe even you – to my blog;

  1. Belinda Stronach is married to Han Solo

  2. Michael Jackson’s favourite Starbucks drink

  3. I called my kid a dumbass

  4. My Dad called me an asshole

  5. Our nanny is pregnant!

  6. How to pay a nanny under the table

  7. How tall is Todd Talbot

  8. Santa Claus porn (ugh)

  9. What is one-month after Valentines Day called

  10. Where does Belgium border Canada?

  11. My Dad called me a dumbass

  12. My son is a dumbass

  13. My daughter is a dumbass

 

And so much more…

It would appear that in the past month, my posts about calling your child a dumbass, my interview with Todd Talbot and my writing on the Canadian Live-In Caregiver Program have been the most active.

I’ll have to re-visit this again next month, but excuse me while I cross the border into Belgium…

 

 

Thursday 13 – 13 Things You WILL Be Talking About Today.


It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure to compile such a list, but here are the 13 Things you WILL be talking about today (and tomorrow, etc)

  1. You know you’re a Dad when… Breakfast on my way to a meeting this morning was: a handful of stale pretzels, a handful of peanuts, a Clementine orange and a container of 1-day-old cucumber slices.

  2. Not busy enough on Twitter, US President Donald Trump is stirring up the debate on abortion with his fellow males.  Donald, in less that 140 characters, I want to tell you this, “Stay out of my uterus!”

  3. Scientists – and I love me some science – are going to make tomatoes taste delicious again!  YAY.  For those of you who have been reading The Urban Daddy for a long-time, you will remember that I love gardening and my favourite thing to grow… Tomatoes!  http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/scientists-make-tomatoes-great-again-1.3953185

  4. The “Doomsday clock” has moved to 11:58pm for the first time since like 1954.  This means nothing to me, to be honest, and I didn’t even like the cartoon Doonsbury, so there!

5. GM is cutting 800 Canadian jobs and moving them to Mexico… Damn.  I hope Trump doesn’t hear that.  In retaliation, Canada has agreed to build a wall between Canada and Mexico.  Damn you capitalism!!!

6. I don’t know where you live, but here in Toronto where we need road tolls to keep the 905’ers out (see wall building), we have pot holes the size of, well, Mexico.  One such pot hole cost my wife her front tire and rim.  Damn you Mexico!

  1. Mary Tyler Moore passed away, and after being reacquainted with her show recently I came to realize that her TV feminism was inspiring and much needed.  She will be missed.

  2. The Toronto Maple Leafs do not stink… Am I dead???

9. I read somewhere that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s mother had met the Donald (see President Trump earlier) back in the 70’s.  I thought the writer was trying to convince us that Donald Trump was his father, and when I told this to someone, they said, “Trump?  No.  Castro, yes!  They even look alike!!”  What?!?

  1. New expression in The Urban Daddy dictionary; “Playing your trump card”  Means saying whatever it takes to get what you want.  Truth, lies, half-truths… whatever!

  2. Trumpanomics.  Putting America first.  Hopefully Canada second. Could change direction at a moments Tweet and may or may not be accurate or true… Nobody knows…

  3. 2 hours before turning over reigns of the US to Trump, Former President Obama sent $221 million dollars to the Palestinian authority.  It would be a shame if that money was not used to build infrastructure and was used by the “leadership” to acquire weapons, build tunnels or for their pockets.  If you want your own state, start acting like responsible leaders and put your people first!  As for Obama… Not cool!

  4. One week of President Trump and here is what we know:  Torture good, Mexico bad.  Jobs good, jobs from tourists in Islamic countries bad. Woman bad. Free Trade bad. The Apprentice good. Climate change – fake.  Vaccinations – fake.

  5. (It’s my Trump calculations…) Tim Horton’s is opening up in… Gulp… Mexico.  Don’t tell Trump.  He’ll kick the coffee company out of the US.  Or, those in the southern US will need a really long straw to sip those yummy Timmy’s beverages.