Posted in Parenting

The Urban Daddy Hates Siri – The Weekly Feature


Welcome to what is now going to be my newest feature: The Urban Daddy Hates Siri.

I don’t personally hate the voice behind Siri – she follows me on Twitter and I follow her, and yes, there was a time when I preferred the British voice behind Siri because I was finding that the Australian and American ones just didn’t get me…

In our hands-free / distracted driving world, having Siri available at the call of “Hey Siri” is an assets to parents and business owners.  No fidgeting with a cell phone, or pulling over to text, when you can just summon Siri, and have her do your bidding.

Well, I can’t.

Most of the time I can’t.

Actually almost all of the time I can’t.

I thought it was because I speak too fast, or possibly because I mumble my words, or maybe it’s because I’m not very clear in my pronunciation of certain words..

I’ve come to realize that it’s none of that.

Siri is out to get me.  It’s because I called her stupid and told her to “fuck off” a couple of years ago, and she’s holding a grudge.

Case in point.

“Hey Siri”

“Please send me an email”

Siri: “What is the subject of your email?”

Me: “To do on Monday”

Siri: “Okay, what do you want your email to say?”

Me: “This Monday make sure to go to Splashables (for swimming products for the kids), make a doctors appointment and… well… I have no idea.”

Here is what Siri emailed me: “I Monday you need to make an appointment as washable know I need to make a doctors appointment and you need to go you fossil to pick up some goggles for your son.”

WTF?!? That’s not even close to what I said, and she called me a fossil…

 

Thanks Siri… Bitch!

Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, Life

Do People Know About This? Or Just Me?


I feel like everyone knows or should know the following fact, however day after day, in fact multiple times a day, I see people doing this, so now I’m wondering if maybe only I know this fact…

Doubt it.

Cell phones do not work in elevators.

Not all elevators.

Not all cell phones.

Most cell phones will not work in most elevators.

This isn’t news, right?

Aside from the fact that it’s really rude to get into an elevator while on a call, it’s also pretty funny to see people so distracted on their call that they decide to get on the elevator, rather than wait in the lobby, they walk onto the elevator, talking away, then the doors close, and then you hear this;

“hello?”

“Hello!”

“HELLO?!?”

Then they realize the call was dropped, so they keep their heads down and wait for the elevator ride to end before taking their phones again and making a call.  Sometimes, they try calling the person back, and amidst the lack of reception, will yell things like; “Can you hear me?!?” and “I’m in an elevator.”

Think about it…

Inside an elevator there are at least three layers of concrete and/or steel between your phone and the cell signal source. That’s three layers of construction blocking and weakening the signal.

Makes even more sense then, that even if the tower signal could get to your phone inside the elevator, it would be virtually impossible for the puny transmitter on your phone to send its signal back to the cell tower to complete the communications loop. There are just too many layers of concrete and steel for your signal to pass through.

So why are people doing this?

Posted in Daddy, events, family, health, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy

Happy Birthday to The Urban Daddy Dinosaur


So today is my birthday.  I’m not normally a fan of birthdays – something about getting older, and all the unnecessary attention that it brings – but I had to share a conversation that I had with my son.

Him: “Happy birthday Dad.  What do you want for your birthday?”

Me: “Nothing, thank you.  Just lots of hugs.”

Him: “Okay.  That’s easy.  What are you going to do differently this year?”

Me: “Ummm…. I’m going to lose a pound of weight for every year old that I am.”

Him: “Won’t it be difficult trying to lose 150 pounds?”

Posted in Canada, Coffee, Daddy, family, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto, urbandaddyblog

Dads / Moms… Is it just me?


This is a question for the Dads and Moms out there in cyberspace.  Is it just me, or is it necessary to identify yourself as a parent when you approach another father / mother with small kids and offer assistance?

This morning, for example, I’m waiting for a client in my local Starbucks and it’s fairly busy in the store when in walks a mother carrying a baby in the bucket car seat in one hand and holding hands with a toddler in the other hand.

She orders her coffee, buys her daughter a treat and then finds the only open table which has one chair placed beneath it.  She places the bucket on the table, and sits her daughter in the chair.

Seeing this, I know that there is a bit of space at the large rectangle table in the back and I could totally go there to work, so I get up, and offer her my chair.

She politely denies.

Then I start thinking… I’m in my 40’s, and what’s left of my hair is pretty grey, I’m in a grey suit, and I don’t wear my wedding band because it doesn’t fit my finger (hello 1st child 25lb weight gain – 13 years ago) so maybe she politely declines because I’m a creepy guy offering her a seat.

Then I remember that creeps don’t wear suits.

Work with me here…

So I tell her it’s okay, she can have the seat because I’m going to sit in the back.

Then the panic in her eyes leaves, and she says that she appreciates the offer but she’s waiting for her coffee then she’s jetting out of here to a play date.

That told me 2 things;  Firstly, she recognized that I’m a parent too and I totally understand how brave she is with a child in a bucket and a toddler – just leaving the house should be commended.

Secondly, she might not have panicked if I had started with something like this; “Hey, would you like to use my seat? I’ve been there – have 3 of my own – you might be more comfortable, even for a minute, knowing your kids are safe and you can wait comfortably with them.

Or is that worse?

Am I reading too much into this?

Or being approached by a stranger, the default is to reject, not to engage and protect the kiddos.

Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts.

 

Posted in events, family, news, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Toronto Event: July 28th Paella Party



Toronto EVENT LISTING

Turn Up The Heat With Patria & Weslodge’s Paella Party

WHAT:    Experience the taste of Spain in the heart of King West! Patria and Weslodge have joined forces to throw the ultimate paella party on Saturday, July 28th for guests in the neighbourhood.

In partnership with Aperol, you can enjoy $5 aperol spritz from Weslodge as well as $5 paella from Patria on Weslodge’s patio

WHO:         Patria and Weslodge

WHEN:       Saturday, July 28th, 2018

Time:  11:30am to 3:30pm       

WHERE:    Weslodge Patio @ 480 King Street West. Toronto.  M5V 1L7.

WEBSITE:   weslodge.com / patriatoronto.com