Posted in Parenting

Hello America… It’s Canada Calling!

Hello America.

Hi. How ya doing?

It’s Canada.

The country above you that you are hopefully not going to want to place a wall between.


It’s us, eh!

Just wanted to let you know a couple of things, this Thursday, September 12th, 2019.

  1. Our hearts are with you today, tomorrow, and yesterday – September 11th. The attack on the World Trade Centre was not just an attack on the US, but an attack on democracy, freedom and all of North America. We’re here for you, always and forever.
  2. In 40-days, were going to boot our Prime Minister from power because he lies, and obstructs justice. Our election was called yesterday. You don’t need 2-years to figure this out. You  can do it! It’s called democracy. I think that you need more options for your people than just 2 parties. In your country, you’re either a Republican or a Democrat. In Canada, you can be a Conservative, Liberal, New Democrat, and more recently, a Green. Heck, we even have a further right party called the People’s Party or something like that, and we have Liberatians, Communists, a  Marxist-Leninist Party, and a whole bunch of other parties.  We get this whole thing wrapped up in a couple of months. Not years.
  3. On a more serious, note, we’re coming for the Stanley Cup.! We have your US Open Tennis Championship and your Larry O’Brian NBA Championship. The Stanley Cup will be ours again soon. 
  4. As for your gun-play, I’m super disappointed that it’s making it’s way up here in Canada. Shame on you guys for not dealing with this and making us do it.  Understanding that the Right to Bear Arms was a constitutional right to allow citizens of the US to take up arms against your government way back in the day, there is absolutely no reason to have them now. You don’t need to take someone’s life, nor do you need to keep a weapon in your pants in case something comes up. It’s time to grow up, stop fear mongering people and deal with criminals who access and use weapons with disdain and not make them heroes for your distorted cause. 

Posted in family, Life, news, Parenting, Sports, urbandaddyblog

“Super”Bowl Thoughts from my Kids

We watched most of the Super Bowl yesterday which would represent a first for my middle and suddenly sporty son.  He has had zero interest in football prior to yesterday – and to be honest – he watched it because of the commercials and the Lady Gaga half-time show.

Here are his thoughts of the game;

  1. Why don’t they show the commercials here in Canada?  What a scam!
  2. If the NFL is worried about concussions, why do they allow players to hit someone head first.  If they were really concerned, they would toss all players who hit with their heads, or hit someone in the head.
  3. NFL does not stand for “No Farting League” as I told his sister.  I suggested “No Farting Ladies” but my wise 7-year-old countered with “No Farting Lads”!
  4. When asked who would win, he said “New Zealand”.
  5. When asked which state Boston is in, he said “New York”.
  6. After realizing that Ottawa was in Ontario, he wondered out loud if Canada consisted of Ontario and Quebec – to which I said; “And that is why Western Canada hates Toronto, my son!”  Plus we’ve all been to the East Coast of Canada.
  7. Why is Tom Brady’s wife cheering into her cell phone – taking selfies instead of celebrating with the rest of the people in the press box?
  8. Lady Gaga was incredible!  On the roof, jumping from the roof, singing, not singing, all in those high-heels.  She totally rocked and was a true highlight of the night.
  9. He felt because the game was played in a neutral location (Texas) the sounds from the stands sounded canned and phony.  He said they might as well have played the game in an empty stadium and played a cheering sound track along with the game.
  10. Why does the NFL need their championship trophy to be “Super”?  Why is the Stanley Cup not named the Super Cup and why does the winning team receive the Vince Lombardi trophy when they win???  Where is the bowl???
  11. Why isn’t there a team in Toronto?
  12. Since no team had even overcome a 10-point deficit and there had been no overtime games in the league’s 51-year history, and with New England (or New Zealand, New York) losing 28-3 at half-time – my kids assumed it was over for the Pats.  Upon learning of the Falcon loss, my son’s response was the always classic, “Whoa!”.
  13. Upon hearing that Tom Brady was being regarded as the best quarterback in the history of the NFL, my son quipped; “I think he is, because he’s the only quarterback I know, and he won the game.”
  14. Where are the damn commercials???


So I think this was a success, and even though he doesn’t know all the rules, or where the teams play, him, his sister and their older brother enjoyed the half-time show more than anything.

“Can you take me to a concert?” was the post-game cry from the kids…

… and sign me up for lacrosse.

Only in Canada, eh?

Posted in hockey, news

Toronto Maple Leafs fire coach Ron Wilson! The Spotlight is now on GM Brian Burke.

English: Brian Burke, the current General Mana...

So the Toronto Maple Leafs have decided to fire head coach Ron Wilson late on Friday the 2nd of March.  I saw the news break first on CP24, then I took to Twitter and slowly the reports started to come in.

I thought Friday night was an odd time to fire the coach and announce the replacement, former Leaf Randy Carlyle – who was the head coach in Anaheim when Brian Burke was the General Manager and the Ducks won the Stanley Cup.  It was odd because, while expected, the Leafs are in Montreal tonight to play the Canadiens, and if there was ever a pressure situation it is tonight, and with Burke flying to Montreal to tell Wilson personally there was no one here to address the media.

Smart, some would say.

Conniving, I put forward.

Here are some of my thoughts surrounding Brian Burke and his bravado.

1) When Burke can to Toronto he inherited Wilson – who was hired by then GM Cliff Fletcher (of the Jeff Finger signing, ugh).  Wilson, like Burke are both Americans.

2) Burke immediately brought in Phil Kessel, an American forward playing with the Boston Bruins who after testicular cancer was made available because he’s moody and not viewed by everyone as being a team player.  The Leafs gave up two first round picks for Kessel at a time when the Leafs were terrible and though Burke thought the picks were going to be mid-round, they turned out to be very high picks including 2nd overall.  Burke sadly overestimated the talent on the team and I belive the ability of the coach.

3) Burke announced he needed “Truculence” on the team and proceeded to stock the roster with so-called tough guys who are not so tough, or are tough but cannot play a regular shift with the team.  Colton Orr, Jay Rosehill, tough but limited in their abilities.  Mike Komisarek in from Montreal as a high-priced free agent, Francois Beauchemin and Mike Brown in from the Ducks… It was time to raid the Ducks for their toughness and goaltending because that is what former GM’s do, right.  They take from their former team even when that team is performing worse that the new team.

4) With that not working, Burke started signing all the free agents from US colleges in hope of being able to stock the team and have assets to trade of fill holes since they were not doing it through the draft – recall, the B’s are getting quality picks from the terrible Leafs, like the #2 overall pick Tyler Seguin who in his 1st season with the Bruins won the Stanley Cup and in year 2 is second in scoring on the Bruins as of today with 50 points and a plus 33.  Sure Kessel has 68 points and Joffrey Lupul, another reclamation project from Anaheim has 66 points and  Kessel is only 4 years older than Seguin, but comparing the two, it might come down to character which the Leafs appear to lack.

So the Leafs brought in Tyler Bozak, Christian Hansen, the Monster, Colby Armstrong, Komisarek, and with that came and went the hopes of Leafs’ fans.  Kadri might be a bust, Kuliman went from 30 goals to 5 goals and Jake Gardiner was a throw in for the Leafs taking Lupul’s salary, not a shrewd move by Burke and don’t let him convince you otherwise.  With no talent, Burke has resorted to trading for injured players – Connelly, Lombardi, etc, signing college players and bringing in overpriced free agents which would be a great stop-gap if there were young players, but the scouting staff has let the Buds down for the last, oh, 35 years.

5) Burke brings in Tim Connolly from the Sabres – often injured, and slow skaters but great passer who has clearly lost a step, but still leaves the team without a true number one centre – the defense is strong and deep, but no secondary scoring and no number one centre hurts this team and was an issue in 2008 when Burke arrived.

6) Burke announces his intention to trade up in the entry draft to get a blue-chip prospect – like he did when drafting the Sedin’s in Vancouver, but doesn’t.  Instead he drafts more American players for Canada’s team. 

7) Scratching my head I think back to when Burke was hired and how he announced that he wanted players who could handle the pressure in Toronto, who are from Toronto and who would be proud to play in Toronto.  Now wondering how all these Americans feel being sent to a horrid Toronto team…

8) Burke brings in renowned goalie coach Francois Allaire who does nothing to help Jonas “the Monster” Gustavsson, or James Reimer – or J.S. Giguere who was a salary dump from the Ducks that the Leafs gladly assumed – Instead of turning them into the next Martin Brodeur, they both drop to their knees once a shot is taken and are at risk for collisions with their heads as has been witnessed by both players being hit in the head by other players.

9)  In an odd exchange, Burke did nothing at the trade deadline this past week and after doing so pronounced that the players were a little hesitant because of all the trade talk in Toronto and they should play better now that the deadline is over.  Burke even went so far as to announce that next year he is going to impose his own trade deadline a week prior so that he can mess up what has become Trade Deadline Day festivities in Canada.  Actually, he wants to impose this so the players don’t have to worry at deadline time about being traded.  So when Burkie mentioned upon his arrival in Toronto that he wanted to bring in players who could handle the pressure here I guess this was a #fail.  Then in startling fashion the next night after the Leafs lost it was the coach throwing the GM under the bus by stating that the team is not good enough and the GM didn’t bring in any new players.  Ouch.

10) Burke gave Wilson a one year contract extension on the hush hush, then announced it via Twitter a few days after it started to leak.  Nice golden handshake, eh? 

So to recap…

Wilson is 15 losses away from holding the record for the most losses by any coach in NHL history.  He has a gazillion wins too, lets not forget that, but he won’t set that record in Toronto.  The team has played on hot streaks which show good coaching but has been on crappy streaks which shows the coach in unable to motivate the players to play better.  It’s 50/50.  Is the team not up to par or is it the wrong coach.  The NHL’s youngest team is falling further and further out of contention and something had to be done.  Burke did not want to do this, folks, I guarantee this.  Now that the coach is gone, all fingers point squarely at Burke.

If the team falters from here on in, and I give the suits at Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment one full season to assess the Burke / Carlyle duo and it there is no progress, I guarantee you, Burke is out of here.  Off to save another franchise or more realistically he’s going to face the same fate of any player / goalie / coach or GM that leaves Toronto, meaning that he’s done in the league. 

Toronto Maple Leafs

Tweet Tweet.  Ride’s over.  Last stop, Toronto.

Mr. Carlyle.  Your stop.  Good luck.


A distant memory (before I was born);

English: Toronto Maple Leafs Stanley Cup Banne...

Posted in hockey, Life, news, politics

It’s the Wednesday sensory post at Urban Daddy’s blog. Come touch, hear, taste, see and smell.

Today’s post at this urban daddy’s blog covers the five senses; touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing.  Originally my 5 included touching and feeling, lol, but I wised up when editing this post.  So please, have a read and let me know your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.


And we’re off…


Can you smell that?

It smell like an election is coming to the province of Ontario.  To no ones surprise, the Liberal party is in fear that voters here might give them the same treatment that the Federal Liberals received so Premier Dalton McGuinty is throwing out the campaign promises left, right and… well, centre.  After 7 years in power and numerous taxes – and George Smitherman, the Liberals are promising to cut perks to MPP’s to the tune of $15,000 per year, and promising to refund passengers of GO Transit if the train / bus is more than 20 minutes late.  The NDP are countering with a pledge to remove the $45 fee for having a fire truck show up.

Can you hear that?

It sounds like choking and it was the Vancouver Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo who has been talking the talking but his play has not been walking the walk… For his sake I’m sure all Vancouver fans were hoping for a shut out tonight and a Stanley Cup to go with his Olympic gold medal, but sadly the shut out came to Bruins goalie Tim Thomas and now questions about Luongo’s play, his comments and his value to the Canucks in light of his play and Cory Shneiders’s play will be a hot topic throughout the summer.

For me, personally, I was pulling for the Bruins (predicted a 4-0 win!) because I don’t like Raffi Torres, Aaron Rome, Burrows or Kessler and the whole lot of diving I have seen. It’s the same reason I detest the Philadelphia Flyers. Teams like that cannot win playing goon hockey because it signals to the rest of the league that it works. That is bad for hockey. Plus, any team that is being built for the future by the Toronto Maple Leafs and that eliminated the Flyers AND Montreal Canadians is great to me!  Canadians on the Bruins want to win it for Horton… Nathan and Tim.

Can you see that?

 I see Canada Post employees walking the picket line and frustration that this has dragged on. Shouldn’t Canada Post sit down with the union and realistically spell out the future? Let those who have walked the routes for years retire in peace and just curb the future hiring. If postal service is declining and an issue is the starting wage being $26/hr, up from $23/hr, then don’t hire more workers. Problem solved. I actually like, and respect postal workers. Say what you will, they do the job and are friendly. Iron it out!

Can you taste that?

It’s a bunch of lefties swallowing their words.  I think during the G20 summit in Toronto, when a mob broke out and started destroying the city, setting police cars on fire and causing chaos in this cit, the cry from the left was that the police (and the “man”) we squashing the constitutional rights of these protestors.  Free speech, right to assembly, right to destroy police cars, yadda yadda yadda,  I had that battle and now here we are in Vancouver and the hoodlums have taken to the street and have, are seen bouncing on police cars and being shitheads.  Yes, alcohol is a factor, but no one is criticizing the police for their use of tear gas in dispersing this crowd. 

Can you feel that?

That is what effort and success feel like.  Chris Bosh, LeBron James and the Miami Heat do have that feeling, nor do the Vancouver Canucks – he Ryan Kessler, that comment about winning and becoming a “legend”… yeah, not.  I also feel satisfaction knowing that I have stepped up my exercise for 26 consecutive days now while taking part of the Global Corporate Challenge (GCC).  My team is doing great, and personally, I feel the need to walk as much as possible – as the team leader – to set an example and setup expectations with the walkers on my team.  I’m averaging almost 20,000 steps per day and now that my team has fallen to second for our company in North America, I feel compelled to walk even more to get us back on top.  That other team surely cannot keep up that pace every day… Can they?

I’m in the top 10% of the participants for steps (and 3 of my team members are averaging more steps – one has lost 15lbs so far too) and my team sits at 921st in the world out of 18,137.  Seeing these statistics and seeing the weight loss, feeling my clothes getting a little looser makes me want to walk that much more!  Go team.

Posted in Being Jewish in Toronto, family, Happy Wife = Happy Life, Life, Recommends, urbandaddyblog

#700th post! Pissing off anyone and everyone one item at a time.

I seem to have a lot on my mind lately and not much of a chance to talk about it here… Until now.

For those of you who have told me that you read my blog, I say thank you and for those of you who think I am funnier on my blog than in person I say 2 things; 1) Thank you and 2) You don’t know me that well  :).  My oldest boy, whom I refer to as Linus because he loves his blankie (4 blankies) started a silly friend’s club in his school.  Oh yes.  I was actually quite proud of him.  Like father, like son. 

So here are my thoughts.  Feel free to comment – agree, disagree – add some items, call me names, I don’t care.  Knock yourself out. 

  • Doorland – I honestly don’t know much about this company other than the fact that we have one of their magnificent doors on out front door and the fucking thing doesn;t work properly at all.  It sticks opening nad shutting, wakes the kids as it grinds and the lock doesn’t work properly.  I expect that you get kinks like that with a new house, but what really frosts my ass is the numerous times I’ve called them and emailed them, and the builder has done the same, but they just don’t feel like it’s worth their while to come fix it.  They don’t return calls, then stall, give attitude and finally made an appointment to come fix it.  Only time will tell.  Didn’t they think this horrible service would come back to bite them in the ass?  I think companies get too big sometimes and forget they are around because of customers.  Make them happy and make lots of money, but piss them off and once word gets around your customers are off to your competitors
  • Kiddie Proofers – I waited 3 months to get a gate up in the house to keep our toddler, Berry, from falling down the stairs and it was a tough choice between butchering it myself or paying several hundred dollars to have professionals do it.  So I reached out to Kiddie Proofers and in doing so, found a local company with reasonable prices, super great service, a friendly efficient service specialist and an overall positive experience. 
  • The Baskin Robbins on Eglinton Avenue in between Allen Road and Bathurst Street in Toronto.  We’re coming up on 8 months now and I’m still waiting to hear back from the owner of this store as to why they served old gooey ice cream, and then charged me $0.75 to use their debit machine.  I know for a fact that merchant providers frown upon merchants charging extra for use of debit and some even threaten to pull their services if this occurs.  They do it because of the cost of taking a debit transaction and I guess they don’t feel that they make enough when the transaction is less than $10.00, but let me tell you this, merchants… It’s called the cost of doing business!  If  the owner told me there was going to be a charge – since I had cash – I would have either paid in cash, or left the store.  Instead I paid it, then sent the bill to Baskin Robbins HQ with a complaint, the freezers in there were also REALLY loud, and was assured that the owner would reach out to me to apologize and return my money.  Still waiting!  so now on a hot day, we walk on by that store and spend our money elsewhere.
  • Booster juice – Dufferin and Steeles.  Great location, also with wonderful staff and I will tell you why.  A couple weeks ago I took all three kids there while my wife ran into Loblaws and we all got the strawberry smoothie.  Sure, Stewie wanted raspberry – he’s always the difficult one – and yes I told him that his strawberry one was really raspberry, but when he tried to climb up to the top of the spinny chair his drink hit the floor.  We proceeded to clean it up and I was able to salvage just over half the drink, but the guy in the store would have none of that.  He insisted on cleaning it up and replaced Stewie’s “raspberry” drink and even gave me a new cup so I could give the drink to Berry.   We will go back often.
  • Let me tell you all what happened to my sunglasses last week… I decided to chase Linus home with Berry in her stroller and in doing so watched with horror as my sunglasses slipped out of the stroller and right under my feet.  When I finally stopped they were in 5 pieces and across 5 sidewalk squares.  #$%%$#$%.
  • Why, in the Stanley Cup finals are Canuck fans even worrying about the Toronto Maple Leaf fans or about anything to do with the City of Toronto?  Jealousy?  Are they giddy with excitement that they will go somewhere (potentially) that the Leafs may never go again?  Or is there more to it.  Maybe Canuck fans look at the Bruins and see Tomas Kabarle, Tukka Rask, Tyler Seguin and the 1st round draft pick this year and feel that the Bruins are very much the American version of the Leafs, except with talent.  Maybe Canuck fans are pissed that the B’s also play at TD Banknorth stadium (TD for Toronto Dominion Bank).  I’m not sure, but I fear that if the Canucks win the cup, instead of being happy that their team won, or that a Canadian team won, they will want to throw it in the faces of Toronto hockey fans.  Well guess what, Canuckleheads… I know the Leafs suck.  No need to rub it in.  Oh, and go B’s go!  I prefer my hockey teams to not resemble soccer teams (see: diving) and Raffi Torres reminds me of Sean Avery.
  • Have you ever been to the Wychwood Barns?  We went there with friends on Saturday morning for the farmers market and it was great!  The food for sale was fantastic, the fair trade coffee was delicious and there was a ton of stuff for the kids to do.  Can’t wait to go back.  I was kind of hoping to see our City Councillor Joe Mihevc there so I could speak to him about being so darn left-leaning all the time.  Surely even he knows sometimes the right is, well, right.  And I want to know why the streets in our area are in such a poor state…  Maybe next time.  🙂 
  • The Food Network show called “Dinner Party Wars” is one of the dumbest shows I have ever seen.  UGH.  Granted the Food Network has come a long way since the days of Emeril Lagasse, but still… BAM… This show is a wasted filler.  I’d love to see some local community class information and more discussion around how to cook better.
  • Teaopia at Hillcrest mall.  Fantastic!  I walked in there because I was looking for some new, flavoured black teas and left with Amaretto Cherry, Strawberry Shortcake and Bourbon Vanilla.  No pressure to buy.  The sales help allowed me to smell the flavours without compromising the stock and she explained everything I would need to know about making an amazing cup of tea. 
  • That’s about all I’ve got right now.  Honourable mention goes to the Dallas Mavericks who did the NBA a huge favour by wiping out the Miami Heat in 6 games to win the NBA Championship.  It was awesome seeing James with that stunned look of his, Dwayne Wade looking all pissed off and Chris Bosh crying like a little baby.  I watched all the games and had more interest in that then the NHL championship.  Too bad the NBA will be on strike / in a lockout soon because paying players hundreds of millions of dollars to opt out of their contracts and sign with other teams is stupid and needs to be changed.

So where have you experienced great or shitty service with your family?  Spill the goods.