How You Came to Me (the Adult Version)


A friend of mine told me on Saturday that my blog was getting soft and sentimental and if it stayed this way she was going to stop reading.

“Wait”, I told her.

“I’ve been holding back a post which has some sizzle and slime in it.”  I promised to post it this weekend.

Basically this is another list of how people come to me using the search feature in their preferred browser.  This list is not the fun, happy list, but instead makes me scratch my head.  For example, someone was directed to my blog after typing “Google Street View Child Pee”.  Yes, I’ve written a few posts about Google Street View and about my own kids and peeing, so that’s how they get here.

What other terms have people entered into search engines to come to be;

  • Sniff my nannies panties
  • I touched poo
  • Can I smak my child in public
  • can I lick a g-string
  • My penis hurts
  • what’s that smell?
  • Can I see you naked?
  • Will I like sex?
  • Can I merry my cousin?
  • I can see my neighbor nude can she see me?
  • is it better to wax or shave ass hair?

Folks!  Who types these into search engines? 

… and how pissed off each and every person must be upon actually coming to my blog… The answers are not here.

LOL.  I actually went and Googled whether it’s better to wax or shave ass hair.

Advertisements

Random Thoughts in Rainy Toronto. Post #600.


  • Still wondering what I might have done differently upon seeing that mom feeding her 1-year-old Coke Zero instead of glaring at her in disgust the other day @ Costco…  What would you have done?
  • On Wednesday I was sick.  Stomach flu.  The 24 hour variety that required vomiting.  I was back to work on Thursday with 200+ new emails.

Thursday Stewie had it.

Saturday Urban Mummy, then Linus…

Monday the baby got hit…

Got to love those “relaxing” weekends after a long week @ the office.  With no sleep and a ton of stuff to get done right now, I already can’t wait for the weekend. 

  • I have 480 “followers” on Twitter… Truth be told, I’m not really sure why people want to follow me, so I just tweeted that and lost 5 followers.  LOL.  Those were the smart 5.  They just got their 4.2 seconds back they would be wasting reading my drivel.  I’m following 900 people, a lot of them are spam, but some are cool local folk who chat every now and then.   You can follow me too if you want @urbandaddyblog
  • What does Twitter-etiquite say about removing people who follow you?  On Facebook if you remove people you face criticism.
  • Sunday was the Santa Claus parade in Richmond Hill and in Maple.  So this is where Santa is this time of year!  Shouldn’t he be making toys or something like that?  Or is EVERYTHING made in China these days…
  • The Toronto Argonauts beat the Hamilton Tiger-Cats in the Eastern conference semi-final on Sunday.  YAY!  and whew!
  • I need to tweet @Ellismate, Jason Ellis and ask him what the heck is a “Red Dragon”?
  • Missed 2 birthday party’s, and 2 meals this past weekend!  Sucks!
  • Berry’s first birthday is coming up in a couple weeks.  WOW.  Where did the time go, and wow, where did my hair go?
  • Maybe coming to a TV near you soon… This urban daddy…
  • On Friday I held a BBQ for the around 75 people in my office.  organized it and cooked the food.  What a blast!  I got to eat everything I dropped which meant 2 hot dogs, one European sausage and a sirloin burger that I put aside but burned.  Then I had 4 interviews to conduct while smelling like a BBQ.  OY.

Is Wifi, Cordless Phones, Cellular Phones and other Technologies Microwaving us to Death? Ask my Neighbours and they’ll say YES!


Have you ever wondered if all of these new technologies – cordless telephones, wireless networks, blackberries, iphones, ipads, laptops, cellular phones, cell towers, etc. would one day be found to cause illness in humans? I personally never gave much thought to this… Until yesterday.

Let me take this one back a few months before I explain…

This past summer we moved. We moved into a brand new, just finished being built, house which came fully equipped with wifi.

Our neighbours to the East are a new build of their own which is about 75% done right now, so no one is living there. Behind us, there is a smaller war-time house but we back on to their driveway, more or less. Our neighbours to the West, however, have been living in this neighbourhood for MANY years, they are an older couple, and they have this beautiful custom-built bungalow which they take great care of. We actually share a walkway with them up the side of the house.

During our time here, we have found some minor “issues” come to light which bug these neighbours, but occurred with the builder and not us – for example, the walkway between the houses cracked in one spot, plus the water pools in the middle in another spot. As well, we have a balcony in between the bedrooms on the 2nd floor which overlooks their house but the builder agreed to cut the roof back to allow natural light in, but did not.

Not our fault, but issues nonetheless.

Our backyard was fenced in by the builder in peculiar manner as there are some old, rather large trees on the West and North property lines and builder told us that our neighbours wanted the trees, hence the fence jots in, around, and back out of the trees. It looks nice, but if we ever opt to take the trees down, we lose the shade, but get more property – if we move the fence back (not THAT much, but some more).

My neighbour tells me he wanted the trees down but the builder didn’t want to pay to have them removed… $950.00.

See where this is going…

And once we had our deck made larger, the gate to our backyard was moved from opening inside to opening outside and that was a huge problem for our neighbours. They mentioned it many times how much they disliked this door, they even went as far as to tell me it was WRONG for doors to open out, and they feared this gate was going to swing open and hurt them in a strong wind.

I’d love to accomodate them for the sake of being neighbours for the next 10-15 years, but the deck on the inside would have to be moved and if I’m going to fork out the dollars to move that part, I’m taking down trees and claiming back my property around the trees by moving the fence out too… Something they obviously are not in favour of.

So I was not surprised when my wife called me to tell me that our neighbours had come knocking on the door with a third person to discuss something.

I figured it was the gate, or the balcony, or that my car parks too close to the walkway… The list is endless.

Instead, they explained to us that in the past few months since we’ve been there, the woman next door had been getting sicker and sicker each day. Heart palpultations, fainting, ringing in her ears, and in the past couple weeks she has been to the hospital 4 times, and after a barrage of tests, nothing had been found… Until that day.

As the story goes – and I was brought up to speed yesterday – one of thier clients (they’re in real estate) was looking for a detached house away from houses with wifi, or cordless phones because this woman had become alergic (for lack of a better term) to the microwaves that get emitted from these technologies.

The woman told me that she was living in a penthouse condo and the owner filled the top of the condo with cell towers and after a few months she experienced the same symptoms, so she went to doctors, who found nothing wrong with her. Through research and perserverance, she found a doctor just outside Toronto who told her that she was essentially being microwaved to death and that due to oversaturation of these waves she would have to find somewhere to live where the neighbours did not have wifi or cordless phones.

This woman bought a geiger counter and yesterday she had it at my neighbours home.

I was invited over for this demonstration as they ran this geiger counter the full length of their wall which faces our house and I heard how the counter was silent until it hit the mid-way point, when it started to go nuts. That point on their house coincided with our office and our cordless phone. I phone urban mummy and asked her to unplug the cordpess phone – while listening to the geiger counter going nuts – and when she did unplug the phone, the counter fell silent in my neighbours home.

This woman then proceeded to demonstrate the effects of cordless phones on this counter by using my neighbours old cordless phone, then contrasting it to the emissions coming from the new one they had just purchased.

The difference between emissions from both phones was nothing short of remarkable.

So as a kind gesture they gave me a new, low-emmission, cordless phone which they had bought for us, to use in place of the one that was “wrecking-havoc” on their house and making the wife sick.

I really thought the whole time that they were off their rocker – obviously, and even when I came home and spoke to urban mummy (a chemical engineer by education, science teacher by training and all around super-genius) and she explained that the counter would go off depending on the amounts of microwaves it was looking for.

I get that.
But if some cordless phones really do emit that amount of microwaves, do I really want that sitting by my bed? If there are some symptoms which are common with being microwaved, them I’m going to toss the one by my head and replace it with a land line, hard wired phone for the bedroom.

But now I want to know more… More for me to be sure that my neighbours are not pulling my very gullable leg – not thinking they bugged the phone or anything – but need facts to be able to make an informed decision as to whether this gets done now, or down the road.

So I googled this topic and found a couple articles. Feel free to read them and chime in with your thoughts…

Do you have microwave illness – http://prd34.blogspot.com/2007/07/cell-phones-hurt-children-even-worse.html

Health Canada denies that wireless networks makes kids sick…

http://www.canada.com/health/Board+rejects+concern+wireless+Internet+makes+kids+sick/3404531/story.html

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/216775-DECT-Cordless-Phones-and-WiFi-Causes-Heart-Irregularities

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Dangers-of-Cordless-Phones-and-Wifi&id=2890119

http://wifinetnews.com/archives/2010/02/electromagnetic_sickness_examined_by_la_times.html

http://www.watershedsentinel.ca/content/cell-phones-wifi-and-you

So have a read of these articles and you will see people raising concerns, and so-called “experts” denying there is any link.

So, what do you think?  Is this going to change the way you buy technologies in your house?  Or am I (they) off my rocker?  It’s all a little weird, yet normal at the same time…

Thoughts and musings of a run-down daddy, after a weekend of unpacking and organizing


In today’s post, I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I’ve been out of it lately, under the weather for most of the month of June with a nasty sinus infection and now feeling very run down.

I was chatting with my wife and she recalled how she was always the one getting sick and I was the healthy one, but recently it’s been the complete opposite. I don’t like being sick. Not sure people “like” being sick, but I detest it!

So in order to get back on track I am taking a few draft posts and throwing them into this one big post to get this stuff off my back and into my blog.

Here are my random thoughts for the past week…

(Monday) I’m not sure if I can drink my large double, double from Tim Horton’s so long as they have a picture of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats logo on it. Double Blue, man!!!

(Weekend) So LeBron James speaks… First he holds a press conference and tells the world how great he is – in the middle of prime time TV slot, with the interview taking place in a boys and girls club.

Then he shuns his former team by saying how much he did for them.

I’m thinking he’s the biggest asshole in the world.

Then…

He goes on Larry King live – interviewed in the courtyard of his palatial estate in front of the waterfall, and tells Larry how great he is.

I’m thinking, now I know he’s an asshole.

Then…

He talks about his mom. Having him when she was 16 and how he doesn’t know how she did it, and that everything he does is for her.

Awwww.

While I still want the Heat to lose every game, I’m softening my stance on the whole LBJ thing.

I’m also softening my stance on the collusion aspect where other league execs are calling on the NBA to investigate how the Heat could re-sign Wade, and sigh Bosh and James.

I mean come on. The Heat must have arranged this over a year ago for the Heat to draw up and execute their plan to dump contracts and make room for these guys. If Bosh, Wade and James go elsewhere, the Heat have 4 guys signed for the 2010/2011 campaign.

While that did seem suspicious, the Knicks and Nets pretty much did the same thing. I’m also sure the Bulls had room.

But how much would I have laughed if LBJ announced that he was joining the Toronto Raptors… We have a monarchy in Canada, so “King James” could have met Queen Elizabeth who is on tour right now in Toronto.

(Tuesday) If you help someone get their career started, what do they owe you, if anything?

(Sunday) So I’m coaching both my boys soccer teams and after the first games end the convener / referee comes to me and tells me that each kid on the team requires shin pads and soccer cleats or they cannot play.

Hmmmm…

My kids don’t have those…

So last night before bed, I take out my sons soccer uniform (my 3-year-old plays on Brazil, the 5-year-old on Portugal) when my 5-year-old tells me to put the uniform back in the drawer because he cannot play.

“Why?”, I ask…

“Because I don’t have soccer shoes”, he replies.

DAMN!!!!
DAMN!!!
DAMN!!
DAMN!
DAMN

So off I run on Monday looking for them. Wal-Mart, nope. National Sports, nope. Canadian Tire… BINGO.

But I don’t know what size the boys wear so I bought sizes 11, 12 and 13.

OY. I guarantee one of the kids will completely melt-down upon trying on their cleats or shin pads…

Update: Linus completely melted-down last night. Then, once I got him calm enough to play and stop holding hands of the female coach, he was dilly-dallying on the field, not paying attention to the ball or the play and the referee stepped on his ankle sending him wailing to the sidelines. Real big tears flying off his face. At first I thought we was just selling it in order to not have to play but once we got home and he took off his sock, I saw a scratch. Poor kid.

I’m sick


I’m so sick.

I went to the doctor this morning – fell asleep in the waiting room.  I had a mask on, the doctor put a mask on.  It’s all very bizarre.

Anyways it turns out I have a virus – a “very very minor one” but in this day and age they are all serious especially when your wife is 37 1/2 weeks pregnant.  So I’m on antibiotics and wiping down everything I touch at home.   Sometimes I feel great and sometimes I feel like death.

Here’s to hoping it goes way by the weekend.  Heading into the tax season means I have a LOT of work to do!

Excuse me… Time for more tea.