Sometimes You Just Want To Help… NSFW

I’m sitting at Tim Horton’s enjoying an XL double-double thanks to Roll up the Rim to win, and the, ahem, gentleman beside me has literally blown a gasket.

He’s said;



“For Fuck sakes”

“Jesus Fucking Christ”


Bigger Sigh

“Jesus Christ”



Toss in a couple more “Fucks”, no “shits” but lots of “fucks”…

and SO much more colourful language, quietly, mostly under his breath, but considering that I’m sitting next to him, it’s all I can hear.

All the while he’s on his cell phone, pounding away on the keys (they click).

I just want to ask him what’s wrong…

It’s not that I think I can help him, that is unless his question is about parenting or taxes, but I just feel like he needs a friend right now to vent to.

If I were a bartender, he’s be talking up a storm, but he’s just pounding away on his device, either frustrated or upset at something he has either read, saw, or because he doesn’t know how to stop his phone from clicking.

What would you do?


Note: I actually thought he was cussing up a storm because he was trying to set his ringtone.  I kept hearing all these beeps, whirls and whistles.  One would think that R2D2 was beside me, but then the sounds stopped and the cursing didn’t.

Note2: He grumbled his way to the bathroom, then left.  He’s known here.  From this day forth I shall refer to him (silently) as the inept-smartphone-twit, or FIST, for short.

Fucking Inept Smartphone Twit, to more accurate.


How to Correctly Roll Up the Rim to Win

This video shows the correct way to Roll Up the Rim to Win – Tim Horton’s Coffee Contest.

Parenting stuff; Kids, Coffee and Imagination.

I finally won my first treat on Tim Horton’s Roll up the rim to win contest, on Monday, when I won a donut followed up yesterday with a free coffee win.

My record is 23 winners, none more than the coffee / donut prize.

My 6-year-old intervened in a conversation my wife and I were having, by snapping his fingers at me and saying; “Turn on your brain, Daddy”.

My 4-year-old explained to me this morning that the reason his room light was on at 6am was because he and his stuffed animals were “preparing” for the “show”. They needed to practice. Slave-driving animals! Don’t they know a 4-year-old needed to sleep…

Things I hate today:

BMW’s – yes, still.
Coffee cup lids that flip back when you clip it to the top of the cup, usually throwing coffee back at me, usually when I’m wearing a white shirt.

The bathroom guillotine – men you know what I’m talking about. When you have to pee, and you pull down your underwear and they snap back up pinning you between the underwear band and the top of the zipper. With the potential for flying fluids, and the excruciating pain, it can be a very frustrating experience.

I don’t like ordering a coffee and getting to drink it and finding it either the wrong mix ie/ regular instead of double double, or not stirred, so sitting on the bottom waiting for my last swig of coffee is all the sugar.

Sometimes I hate my GPS. Take for example 2 weeks ago when I was trying to clean up the old destinations – you know, so it will stop thinking home is our old address – and instead I somehow managed to set the course for a mystery location somewhere in the world, based on its longitude and latitude.

Needless to say, when I went to take Linus’ friend home – who lives really close to us – the GPS was sending me somewhere 8344kms away.

It took me a week to make that destination go away, but in doing that I have managed to turn off all the guidance systems… Geez. At least it’s better than maps and getting lost.

Last story:

My 4-year-old wanted an apple before bed. He referred to it as a “Ta-poo-ach”, which is apple in Hebrew.

Then he said it again, and again and again, so that I was forced to cut him off by singing, “Ta-poo-ach, ta-poo-ach, ta-poo-achhhhhhh”.

He stopped my and said, “Daddy, do you know G-d can hear you?”

“Yes, I know”, I replied rolling my eyes.

“He can see that too, Daddy. G-d is everywhere”.

“How do you know that?” I questioned, “You go to public school, it’s your brother than goes to private school?!?”

“My animals told me!” He shot back.

“They know everything!”.

Is it wrong that my kids entertain the hell out of me???

For a Monday

My Monday rant..  How did your day go?  Let me know if any of these strike a nerve with you too…

I hate when my coffee cup lid does not clip back as it should when I open it. When it flips back towards the shut position it sprays me with coffee. All over my work clothes. #$%^&*&^%$%*&&^

Listening to Alice in Chains – Check my brain.

The Leafs suck, I mean really suck. It’s a tough pill to swallow considering they have no prize for finishing last, like the right to draft the best junior player in the country.

Minimum wage is going up… again. What are the Ontario Liberals trying to do to this province? I might have to jump on to the Toronto as a province party since idiot Ontarians vote Liberal regardless and the Liberals and NDP are killing us!

I’m going to have an opinion about the race for Toronto Mayor coming up as I care about who is going to screw up, errr, lead this city even though I didn’t make the Toronto Star’s list of 30 local active bloggers in the city.
I did raise funds for current city councillor Karen Stintz, revised and ran a ratepayers organization, volunteered on several other ratepayer groups, helped coordinate the Mayor’s community clean-up in my ward, and was on working groups to discuss local developments… No credentials. 🙂

Now listening to Fallen Leaves by… Billy Talent

Looking for my referral for physiotherapy on my Achilles… I tried running after a very long lay-off but it’s still bugging me.  @#$^%^%#  I’ve managed to stay in the gym – personal training on Monday – and do that pain-free, but I really like the way I feel after a good long run.

Heard on the weekend that there was a ruling relating to my former government position and as a result the Feds have to make up some payments to be “fair” to those staff who were incorrectly classified since 2007.  Only in the government.  🙂  I’ll be sitting by my mailbox waiting for my cheque.

My friend and the brains behind (the world’s leader in Indie music) told me I need to create and post a video on the correct way to roll up the rim to win on a cup of Tim Horton’s coffee.  After many years in the government and many coffee breaks I have perfected it.  Showed him on the weekend while our kids were in their karate class and him and I were pounding back the XL double doubles.

Speaking of karate… There is a kid in the class with my oldest boy and this kid is a complete distraction.  He’s all over the place!  Sure he makes me laugh at his over the top antics but he also distracts my boy and that bugs me.  It’s almost like this kids over way too bored and would rather do karat-ballet than actual karate.  Poor kid.  In the meanwhile, I had to ask the owner to keep that kid away from mine!!!

Hear a London Ontario dentist has been jailed after performing dental surgery from his garage.  Really?  There are complete idiots who think it’s okay to have dental surgery in a garage???  Were there not any clues that this was not ok… Like the car in the garage at the same time?!?  Seriously folks… Wake the fuck up!