Can I Tell You About: Fenestration


Can I tell you about frustration, err, Fenestration…  You tell me if you’ve had an experience like this before.

First off, this is Fenestration:

Fenestration.JPG

Fenestration stands 68 inches tall and 88 inches wide.

I hate her!

I mean, she’s nice and all, but I hate her because of the bad memories that come with her as a result of a bad decision on my part, and my inability to be mean / stand up for myself.

When my wife and I purchased our previous house, Fenestration was hanging in the family room over the couch.  They room had a built-in wall unit on one wall, a built-in fireplace on the other wall, and a window on the third wall.  With 12 foot ceilings, Fenestration made the room.

But it wasn’t ours… It was art which belonged to the previous owner.

On moving day, the previous owner asked me if we had any interest in Fenestration, because it was too big for his new condo, and it really made the room.

I agreed, and figured that after buying the house, it was a nice throw in which I could always sell if we found something nicer.

“Great!” he said… “Just give me $200 bucks for it.”

<screecchhhh>

“What? $200 bucks???  I don’t want it, thanks anyways”, was my reply.

“No, you should keep it”, he declared.

“Okay, but I’m not paying $200 bucks for it”, was my response.

Apparently, I wasn’t clear, because I had no intention on paying him for this painting and he expected $200 from me, that he showed up at the house 6 times over the next 2 weeks asking for the $200.

I finally told him to come get the painting, but he somehow talked me out of that.

So I caved…

Gave him $200.

Told my wife he backed off his price.

She didn’t buy that story for a second.

So Fenestration hung on the wall for almost 5-years at that house, reminding me that I should have told him to take the damn thing or better, to just throw it in since we had bought his damn house.

Then we moved again… 5 years ago…

One of the last things I moved was Fenestration!

Rode down the main street at 2 in the morning with Fenestration flapping up and down due to the wind.  She refused to break… Damn her!

And now in our new house, Fenestration lives in the basement playroom beside the treadmill and under the hanging TV.  I use that treadmill twice a week, and each time I curse Fenestration!

I tried to sell Fenestration recently, asking $200.01 for the painting and had some quick responses.  One asked me to take $50, the other $150.  Neither deals went through.

I even go an offer from Nigeria to sell Fenestration for $10,000, but I balked at giving them my bank details, social insurance number and PIN number.

This summer, I will sell Fenestration!  I have to.  But I will always have this post to remind me about her, and of course, my wife and he story which might start like this; “… remember that time you stupidly…”

City of Toronto Garbage / Recycling and Organic Waste Policies…


If you have been following my posts – or my status updates in Facebook, or my tweets, you would be aware that we recently packed up the family and with nanny and cat in tow, we moved.

Our new – more urban – house is great and we love the neighbourhood, but this house came without a garbage can, a recycling bin or a wet (organic) waste bin.

I think I could break into fort Knox faster than I could get this matter resolved.

Here is what has transpired…

Day one. Garbage piling up. Kids dirty diapers and wipes stinking up the joint. No garbage disposal so there are food bits and fruit flies everywhere. Boxes and recycling piling up. So I call the City…

Day two. City calls back and tells me that there was a medium recycling bin and a medium garbage can assigned to that house. They give me the serial number on the bin and ask me to… “investigate” the neighbourhood, including the neighbours bins to see if they took ours…

Day three. I walk around the mini block looking at garbage cans. They first 5 I see are not mediums, nor are they ours. Neighbours think I’m nuts.

I retreat back into the house but not before dropping the paper that had the serial numbers on it into a recycling bin.

Day four. I call back the City. They tell me that the City now needs to send inspectors out to look for the bins too and if they cannot find them (dead in a ditch somewhere?!?) then replacement bins will be on my driveway within 2 to 3 weeks.

Now I totally understand the City here, but let’s go back to day one and see what I wrote about the conditions of my new house… stinky kids diapers, rotting food…

So I wait… 3 weeks now… Taking my garbage

Until Thursday.

After escalating the matter on Wednesday, a City bin inspector (not his official title, but it’s what we need him to do) came by our house and found the bin! Yup. In our neighbours back yard where they are in the process of building a house.

So now we have a recycling bin.

The City bin inspector said he would bring by a garbage bin next week if he could not find it and since my wife was so excited and appreciative, he’ll bring by an organic waste bin too.

Cool.

Now I just need the door on the space under our front stairs to keep the raccoons from opening my bin before I start filling it with wet, organic waste.

Let’s hear it for 311 (the city’s hotline).  So if you move and need a new bin, or a larger one, or you need to replace a broken one, and you live in the greater Toronto area, all you need to do is call 311 and you are connected to the City. 

Who knew?!?

Thoughts and musings of a run-down daddy, after a weekend of unpacking and organizing


In today’s post, I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I’ve been out of it lately, under the weather for most of the month of June with a nasty sinus infection and now feeling very run down.

I was chatting with my wife and she recalled how she was always the one getting sick and I was the healthy one, but recently it’s been the complete opposite. I don’t like being sick. Not sure people “like” being sick, but I detest it!

So in order to get back on track I am taking a few draft posts and throwing them into this one big post to get this stuff off my back and into my blog.

Here are my random thoughts for the past week…

(Monday) I’m not sure if I can drink my large double, double from Tim Horton’s so long as they have a picture of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats logo on it. Double Blue, man!!!

(Weekend) So LeBron James speaks… First he holds a press conference and tells the world how great he is – in the middle of prime time TV slot, with the interview taking place in a boys and girls club.

Then he shuns his former team by saying how much he did for them.

I’m thinking he’s the biggest asshole in the world.

Then…

He goes on Larry King live – interviewed in the courtyard of his palatial estate in front of the waterfall, and tells Larry how great he is.

I’m thinking, now I know he’s an asshole.

Then…

He talks about his mom. Having him when she was 16 and how he doesn’t know how she did it, and that everything he does is for her.

Awwww.

While I still want the Heat to lose every game, I’m softening my stance on the whole LBJ thing.

I’m also softening my stance on the collusion aspect where other league execs are calling on the NBA to investigate how the Heat could re-sign Wade, and sigh Bosh and James.

I mean come on. The Heat must have arranged this over a year ago for the Heat to draw up and execute their plan to dump contracts and make room for these guys. If Bosh, Wade and James go elsewhere, the Heat have 4 guys signed for the 2010/2011 campaign.

While that did seem suspicious, the Knicks and Nets pretty much did the same thing. I’m also sure the Bulls had room.

But how much would I have laughed if LBJ announced that he was joining the Toronto Raptors… We have a monarchy in Canada, so “King James” could have met Queen Elizabeth who is on tour right now in Toronto.

(Tuesday) If you help someone get their career started, what do they owe you, if anything?

(Sunday) So I’m coaching both my boys soccer teams and after the first games end the convener / referee comes to me and tells me that each kid on the team requires shin pads and soccer cleats or they cannot play.

Hmmmm…

My kids don’t have those…

So last night before bed, I take out my sons soccer uniform (my 3-year-old plays on Brazil, the 5-year-old on Portugal) when my 5-year-old tells me to put the uniform back in the drawer because he cannot play.

“Why?”, I ask…

“Because I don’t have soccer shoes”, he replies.

DAMN!!!!
DAMN!!!
DAMN!!
DAMN!
DAMN

So off I run on Monday looking for them. Wal-Mart, nope. National Sports, nope. Canadian Tire… BINGO.

But I don’t know what size the boys wear so I bought sizes 11, 12 and 13.

OY. I guarantee one of the kids will completely melt-down upon trying on their cleats or shin pads…

Update: Linus completely melted-down last night. Then, once I got him calm enough to play and stop holding hands of the female coach, he was dilly-dallying on the field, not paying attention to the ball or the play and the referee stepped on his ankle sending him wailing to the sidelines. Real big tears flying off his face. At first I thought we was just selling it in order to not have to play but once we got home and he took off his sock, I saw a scratch. Poor kid.

Thursday Thirteen (Better Late than Never)


As I was pretty sick this past Thursday and I am only slowly starting to feel back to normal, I missed posting my Thursday Thirteen for this week… Until now!

Thirteen Thursday Thirteen’s I wanted to use this past week…

13. Thirteen things I hate about moving
12. Thirteen things my kids said that made me check their ID
11. Thirteen things I should get my wife for her birthday
10. My thirteen favourite Food Network shows
9. Thirteen things I like to do when home sick
8. Thirteen billion dollar ideas I have had in the past few years which amounted to poop
7. Thirteen items I found in the cupboard while packing that I forgot we had
6. Thirteen bad ideas for birthday parties for kids under 6 years old
5. My Thirteen favourite samples tasted at McEwan’s
4. Thirteen odd things found in my kids pockets while hanging the laundry
3. Thirteen items to not have within the reach of children in their playroom
2. Thirteen reasons why we don’t allow our 3-year-old to “make the rules”
1. Thirteen things to keep a family busy out of the house while a showing(s) are going on.