My kid’s got a ‘weird’ name – How I’ve helped him embrace it (read: how HE’S helped me learn to love it!)


In my culture, kids tend to be named after loved ones who have passed away after living long fulfilled lives. My husband’s tradition is to give the first born grandson the same name as the LIVING paternal grandfather. When hubby first told me this I’m pretty sure my word-for-word response was something along the lines of “Not a f@#%ing chance is that happening.”

Fast forward 6 years and I’m preggo with boy/girl twins. During those 6 years I went though a lot of heart break – I lost my grandmother, grandfather and uncle, all of whom basically helped raise me. So when I peed on that stick, later confirmed at the fertility clinic (another post for another time), I knew right away that my kids would be named after my dearly departed family… In pipes hubby reminding me about his family tradition.

My hubby’s traditions are important to me, but my feeling goes like this: if I’m the person growing these tiny humans inside me, puking my guts out for 3 months, not sleeping for 4 months and having major surgery to have said tiny humans removed then you better damn well believe I’m making the final decision on what I’m going to call the little monsters.

I spent the next 35 weeks and 6 days going back and forth about what I’d name my son. It was like mental tug-of-war. Who’s gonna be offended? Is it really a bad omen? Do I really want my kid going through life having his name mispronounced? Back and forth, back and forth.

D-day comes and I still haven’t made a final decision. We arrive at the hospital, still no decision. Prepped for my c-section, still no decision. Getting sewn up, still no decision. Puking my guts out in recovery and still no decision. Finally I get to the ward and hold my son for the first time. Instinctively I look at my hubby, who’s fighting back tears of love, joy and fear and behind all of it, I see pride, so much pride. In that split second I gave my little man the same name as his grandpa. When my father-in-law found out my son’s name he cried tears of joy and the same pride I saw in my husband – like father like son.

Even after naming him, I wasn’t so sure about my decision. I was worried he wouldn’t like his name as he got older and went to school and heard all the other kids with ‘normal’ names and decided he didn’t want his name. Mostly, I wasn’t sure how to instill pride about a name I was still iffy on.

At about 4am, after feeding the kids and wanting to scratch my eyes out I went online (because isn’t that the normal thing to do when you’re sleep deprived?) and saw an ad for a book called “The little boy who lost his name”. The books weren’t cheap but I figured it was worth a shot if it would help my son embrace his name, so I bought one for him and of course one for my daughter (twins and all). The books arrived and they were absolutely incredible, and worth every penny. The kids were too little for the books at that point but both loved their books when we first read it to them and still love them 2 years later! It’s not really a book they grow out of until much later, and then it becomes a keepsake.

So, when the company contacted me a couple months ago about their new book “Kingdom of You” I figured I’d give it shot (nothing to loose since they were sending the book free for me to review). My concern was that having twins meant needing 2 books, and while they offered to send 1 book for review, I couldn’t get one kid a book and not the other. Once they found out about the twin situation they graciously sent one book for each kid – now that’s great customer service! The Kingdom of You books are just as well written and beautifully illustrated as the Lost My Name books. The kids get lost in their own personal fairy tale – isn’t that what every kid wants? Anyway, back to my son’s name…

In the end, it isn’t a book that gives my son pride in his name, it’s the fact that our family takes such pride in the history of his name, we tell him about all of the men in the family with the same name and what incredible people they were and still are. Sharing a name with his grandpa gives my little man such pride, you should see the look on his face when he tells people “Me and Grandpa have a the same name!” I love his name because HE loves his name, its history and what it represents. It doesn’t hurt that he’s growing up to be quite an incredible little person.

What’s in a name? I guess that depends who you’re asking…

Until next time,

Your fav Urban Twin Mommy

P.S. Stay tuned for the company’s upcoming book which will feature the option of multiple kids in 1 book!

 

 

Disclosure: I was provided this product to share my honest opinion and believe me, I’m gonna tell you the truth, be it good, bad or ugly!

Big Changes at The Urban Daddy: Welcoming Our Newest Addition!


We have made some significant changes at The Urban Daddy because change is good!  Besides, what is better than a Daddy blogger?  A Daddy blogger AND a Mommy blogger!

Joining The Urban Daddy will be The Urban Twin Mommy, who brings the experience and expertise of parenting twins (one boy and one girl – both, coincidentally, are 5-years-old!)!

Here is The Urban Twin Mommy;

“Thanks for welcoming me to the world of The Urban Daddy! While I’m not a daddy, I’m definitely not your typical mommy.

Aside from being a mom of the most delicious, obnoxious, beautiful, pain-in-the-ass twins (who everyone fondly refer to as The Bears), my friends will tell you that I’m likely the most honest, no bullshit mom you’ve met. Here are a few mantras I live by:

My kids can be assholes, so can yours.

Not all babies are cute! My son was born beautiful, my daughter looked like my husband on a chicken body (luckily, she’s grown into herself and is stunning, in my unbiased opinion).

I love my husband, he loves me and we try not to maim or kill each-other while trying to raise two little humans.

I don’t lie to my kids. I explain the reality in a way their almost 5-year-old brains can comprehend. Or I tell them to ask Daddy.

Hubby can be an asshole. I can be a bigger asshole.

Postpartum depression f@#$ing sucks. I had it. I talk about it. I’ll keep talking about it until the world understands what it is and how it can affect moms.

I swear like a sailor. I don’t apologize for it. Apparently, it’s a sign of intelligence… who knew?!

I often walk the line between ‘Super Awesome Fun’ Mom and ‘Psycho, we better call a grandparent’ Mom

Well, that’s a enough about me for the time being… I can’t give away all the intrigue, now can I?!

I’m looking forward to adding some great, regular content here, and fixing all of the spelling and grammer mistakes in all the older 1250 posts!!  (Learn to spell check, Warren!)

The Urban Twin Mommy

Follow me on Twitter @UrbanTwinMommy.  You’ll also find me sometimes @realurbandaddy, with each tweet signed off MB for Mama Bear.

I’ll also pop over to TheUrbanDaddy on Facebook to bring some more oomph to that page.  :)”

 

Please help me in welcoming The Urban Twin Mommy!

 

 

 

 

Thursday Thirteen


It came to me last night during a conversation with a friend that a lot of people may not know much about me other than the tidbits I choose to share.

Case in point… This friend thought I was “left wing” (shudder). 

I tried explaining my views.  Then I thought about the image I have been portraying through my posts.

So I thought this Thursday Thirteen could discuss a little about me.

1) I’m right-wing conservative.  Always have been, always will be.  Not radical / extremist as I hate extremists.  They ruin everything.  I’m for big business and capitalism.  I believe that people have choices to make in their lives and they should live by those choices.  If you decide to skip school as a kid and not graduate then you stand a much greater chance of being a drain on the system.  Your choice.  Don’t make me pay more for your welfare because you thought smoking up and drinking were more important than school.  I chose to trudge through school and fight and claw to 2 other degrees, graduate and post-graduate.  I don’t need, nor do I want the government to prop me up.

2) I am environmental to the core.  Don’t like pollution, waste or what is happening to the planet.  I’ll hold “garbage” which can be recycled with me until I can.  I feel bad for birds covered in oil from toxic spills and I have boycotted companies for polluting.  Geez. I drive a hybrid.

3) I love sports.  Prefer playing them, but like watching them too.  Hockey, Baseball, basketball and lacrosse.  Love them all.  Also fiercely patriotic, so that ties in sports-wise. 

4) A good time to me involves my family.  If I’m doing something I want them with me. 

5) I have never taken or been offered drugs and in a sheltered sort of way I judge people who do.  Sorry.  I just do.

6) I’m ok with my lack of hair but my expanding physique really bugs me to the point that the stress causes me to eat.  Stupid, eh?  Nothing relaxes me more than a great sweaty workout.  I recently hired a personal trainer to help me get through this difficult issue I have with my body.

7) I hate conflict.  But if I have to  will fight to win in the most ruthless manner.  My morals go out the window if I’ve been wronged.

8) I love loud aggressive music.  Saliva, STP, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana, Disturbed, Theory of a Deadman… The louder the better.  But I cannot listen to anything that sounds like my kids banging on pots and pans, nor rap.  That shit makes me sick.  And no, rap and that horrible lip syncing stuff is not music.  Real music dies when sampling begins.

9) I am educated and continue to expand my knowledge on a daily basis.  Looking at courses right now.

10) I love gardening.  Love it!  Also like painting (houses, but not the taping part), enjoyed running (until injured).

11) Hate stupidity.  My patience over the years has declined and while I can still hold back I try. 

12) I have a wicked temper.  I seem to have less and less control of it when it comes to the stupidity of others.  I believe it is called speaking up.

13) I am a blogger.  As I approach 500 posts on this blog and as I try to re-brand my professional tax blog I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy blogging – way more than “tweeting” – and I can see this expanding for me as more and more people become familiar with my writings (on the tax side, not this one).

There.  A little more about me.