Spring Has Sprung, the Grass Has Riz, I Wonder Where the Birdies Is?!?


Ahh, spring.

Ahhh Spring…

Ah-chooooooooo… Damn.  It’s spring.

 

Spring time is finally appearing here in Southern Ontario and aside from the increasing temperatures, here are the 13 most obvious ways to tell that Spring has Sprung.

  1. Sports cars in need of muffler repair and convertible cars are zooming around, blasting their horrid music and looking for attention

  2. A.L.L.E.R.G.I.E.S

  3. People are wearing colours again!  Yay.  Winter is dreary enough and everyone in black makes it that much more bland and blah.

  4. People begin to stink.  Not from sweat, at least not yet, but now is the time of year when they think a little bit of cologne or perfume might be a good idea but it’s not.  It’s horrid if I can smell it over a super-stuffy nose. (See 12)

9.  TAXES!!!  It’s tax time!!  Don’t forget to file, even if you think you don’t owe.  File, file, file!  If you need help anywhere in Canada, search up and hit up inTAXicating.

8.  Flips flops and PJ’s make their returns to coffee shops.  In the winter it’s just too darn cold to roll out of bed and drive or walk to the local coffee shop, but not in the spring!

7.  Exposed skin everywhere on everyone, male, female, young, old… If it’s in combination with leggings or yoga pants, it’s a bonus!

6.  I see neighbours!  Seriously, I cannot believe how little we get out in the winter – especially with kids programs keeping us out and around – I found out this morning that our neighbour had a baby and we didn’t even know she was pregnant.  So hard to tell covered in a giant Canada Goose jacket.

5.  Bikes everywhere!  And I’ve mellowed over the years, so I want bikes and bike lanes everywhere.  I also want safe and clean public transit and I want better roads and more parking for cars.  I want everyone to commute and be happy and healthy and safe.  Hey, City of Toronto… If you want business owners to thrive and survive, back off the parking tickets for people who park in actual spots.  If they park illegally, or block traffic, tag and tow them, but let businesses earn money!

4.  Joggers abound!  I’ve always said that out-of-shape joggers (like myself) run at night when no one can see them shaking and bouncing around or hear them gasping for air.  The fit joggers run during the day where everyone can see them.  Whatever your motivation, just run!

3.  My lawn kicks ass!  My front lawn is very green and soft.  I put the snow on it in the winter before the City salts the street or sidewalk and in the spring, and it makes a difference.  It’s so nice, and I have a neighbour who doesn’t talk to anyone but I catch him walking across the street and touching my grass in awe.  Love it!

2.  Change!  Changes come in spring.  People clean their houses, change their jobs, their clothes, their demeanor, and even the homeless-looking guy who visits the Starbucks I frequent cut off his ridiculously long white beard.  Wouldn’t have recognized him – looks somewhat respectable now – except for the same army fatigue pants he wears every day and the shmatta (towel?) he covers his head with.

1.Spring means an end to winter programs for my kids, so say goodbye to hockey, but it also means saying hello to baseball (call me “coach”) and to being able to throw a ball around and walk to park and shoot hoops, or go for a bike ride, and work at losing the winter gut and getting back into a shape that doesn’t resemble a pear.

3 cheers to spring!

Hip hip, hooray

Hip hip hooray.

Hip… Hip… Achhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooo

 

Geez, I hate spring!

 

 

 

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Stuff That Pisses Me Off… Or Just Annoys Me!


Every now and then I get on a role – get stuff done that has been kicking around forever and while embracing my super-efficient pace, there is always something that slows me down and pisses me off.  Usually it has little to do with the work I’m doing.

For example;

This past weekend, the Victoria Day long weekend here in Ontario, saw my vacuum and wash the inside of my car for probably the first time… ever!  This is absolutely disgusting considering my kids eat in the car and I found chewed gum, globs of old ice cream and enough packaging to cause global warming.

I also bought flowers and some veggies for The Urban Daddy’s gardens (I LOVE gardening!) and I emptied underneath the front stairs outside the house – we have no garage but a ton of space under the front stairs which runs half the width of the house – dusted it, tossed some garbage, then moved some crap.  It’s clean, bikes are at the front and ready to go, and the patio furniture and cushions are in place.

I had a ton of help from my oldest son, Linus!  He was awesome when cleaning the back yard, setting up the deck, cleaning the furniture, scrubbing the cedar deck and hosing down the junk.  He helped move the extra BBQ out and helped me clean under the deck.  He also helped clean the basement… A super-helper indeed.

So what’s pissing me off?

1)  Raccoons!

These vile creatures are living on my neighbours Electro Magnetic Field (EMF) mesh which covers the side of his house facing us. Between our houses is our only access to the backyard from outside the house and their poison poop rolls off the mesh onto the ground, or worse, it gets stuck in the mesh and then stinks to high heaven as the temperatures heat up.

As a result, they walk through my backyard, scare my kids and is the reason I cannot leave my cushions on my deck.

What’s with the mesh, you might ask?

Well, soon after we moved in, they decided our WiFi was making them sick, so they took some readings, and where everyone says you should get “reliable readings to ascertain the dangers. If you don’t, it’s all guesswork. You can’t hope to deal with your EMF exposures on the basis of guesswork. EMF exposures are changing constantly”, they went with emotion and threw up the mesh from front to back of their house to keep our WiFi out.

Not surprisingly, since that occurred, about 5-years ago, the house on the other side of them was torn down and re-built and yes, we can pick up that WiFi signal in our house which means that either it’s coming around their house, or into their house, hitting the mesh and then staying in their house… It’s like they’re protect us too, kind of…

While the mesh makes it look like their house is stuck mid-construction, they could have used the Radio Frequency (RF) radiation reading (generally high where emitted by cell towers – no cell towers in sight, by the way) and instead of trying to cover ¼ of their house in mesh, they could have shielded their windows using a special window film, and their bedroom using a high frequency EMF shielding paint.

But we get mesh…

Could have been worse, I guess from the visual side as they could have gone cheap and used aluminum foil. The raccoons would have slid right off – or maybe their poop would have all just slid off.

They also removed their smart meter, but they did give us low frequency phones which was a very kind thing to do… I guess.

2) BMW drivers!

Sorry.  Every time I see really horrible driving, or when a car is tailing me too close (for going 90km/h in a 80km/h zone) it’s a beemer!  I’ve written many posts about BMW drivers and my thoughts about why it’s specific to the car – so go read those – but just because you worked hard to buy or rent a BMW doesn’t make you any more special than anyone else.  Stop driving like a prick!

3)  I might have heard that a mother was charged with child abuse for letting her 11-year-old child drive a golf cart.

I also might have heard a case where child protective services were summoned when a mother left her child to play in their fenced off backyard… gasp… alone.

I think people need to step back, take a deep breath and use services like these when there are real signs of neglect like bruises, or malnourishment.  I walked to school by myself when I was 7.  I had to cross a road.  Sometimes I ran to school.  Sometimes I rode my bike.  Sometimes I went to pick up a friend on the way.

The world has changed, yes it has, but it’s still the same communities, same cautious people and same neighbours who we used to get to know and would keep an eye out for one another.

Let my people go!

Let the kids play.

Stop helicoptering over my kids!!!

4)  Leggings!

Hate, hate, hate them, but only when they’re NOT worn with a shirt which covers your ass.

I’m sorry, this is not just a girl / woman thing, because there are boys / men who think they can walk around with their pants below their ass and that it’s “cool” to do so… It’s not.  In both cases, have some pride and humility people…  If you want to be taken seriously, dress accordingly.  If you’ve just been to the gym, good for you, but buy a longer shirt.  If that’s the way you dress…

5) “Like”

I thought we were past the phase where people, like, use the word “like, when they, like, have something to, like, get off their chests…

Apparently not.

In Starbucks this morning, a recent grad is being interviewed for a job, a like real job, as she proclaimed to the interviewer, which she didn’t think she would, like, find so soon after graduation.

The interviewer commented that this applicants resume and cover letter were impressive but even I could tell that she was so very unimpressed with the causal use of the word “like” and the interview ended soon after the grad said, “Well, I’m, like, not looking for a, like, real job so soon after graduating.  I was, like, so impressed that I got a, like, interview, but I’m, like, not interested in the job.

??????

Hopefully the grad bought the coffee, eh?

 

 

So what pisses you off today?  Don’t be shy and tell me if I’m way off base on any of these.  I’m a big boy, I can take it. You can also change my mind with facts and a good argument, so take that challenge and speak up!  Or else!  lol.

 

 

 

 

How I Know I Have Embraced Being The Father To A Daughter: Leggings are NOT pants!!!


Leggings are NOT pants!

No pictures necessary.

No discussion needed.

Girls, women, transgendered people, even men… Leggings ARE NOT PANTS!!!

If you put leggings on and your shirt does not cover your bum, go home and change.  Please.

Whew.

Got that out.  I’ve been holding that in since the summer.  It really came to light when buying clothes for my daughter this past summer and still is a concern for me, and parents alike, I’m sure.

With the boys, it was pretty each to buy the same boring clothes for them; blue, brown, some black, some green.  When the girl arrived, I thought we would be smacked in the face with a whole new array of colour choices and options.   Sure, there are colours, but what is the deal with the choice of girls clothing available in some of these clothing stores???  low cut neck-lines, short shorts, and crop-style tops.  There is NO way I was going to let my daughter leave the house in a crop-top style shirt with short shorts, or worse, leggings.

So as her tastes evolved and we were able to agree on styles of clothing she knows that leggings are not pants, and that no one wants to see, or needs to see her bum during the day.

As this post tossed around inside my head, I thought that all I would need to do is post “Leggings are not pants” and that there is an understanding that this is true, but the more I thought about it, the more I could not help but understand the longer-term issues surrounded by leggings, especially in young, impressionable children…

“What if I’m not skinny enough to wear them?”  Does that come followed by, “I just won’t eat today.”  Or is there a group ganging up mentality from the girls who do wear them against the girls who don’t?  How about the girls who do not, cannot or choose not to wear them picking on a girl who wears them and shows too much…

Don’t think for a second that parents who dress their kids up in leggings don’t make a comment about their “ass”, and in the wrong child, at the wrong time of their life, could have long-lasting effect on their self-esteem.

UGH.

I’m all for leading a healthy life-style (well, my kids more than me right now) and being in the best shape possible, but that shape is physical, mental and emotional.  To place too much emphasis on one over the others can have dangerous consequences later in life.

So I call on you, parents, to please make sure that the next time your child leaves the house – if they have to wear leggings – that they have a shirt on to cover up.  Then give them a hug and tell them they are smart, kind, friendly and beautiful.

Here is a flowchart to help them (and you, if needed) understand this concept further.

AM-I-WEARING-PANTS

Editors Note: Apparently The Urban Daddy is not  so original is there are Facebook, Tumblr and Pinterest pages dedicated to this exact line of thinking…  The Brooklyn Momma hit the nail on the head in her post, here.  The flowchart is from her site.