Posted in Canada, Community, Life, Parenting, politics, The Urban Daddy, Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Things My Kids Have Said Or Know About Justin Trudeau


In honour of the sweeping in of a “new era” in Canadian politics with the election of a majority Liberal government led by self-proclaimed “feminist” Justin Trudeau, I asked my children for their thoughts, and now, 4-years-later, as the Federal election creeps up, I have asked them again for their thoughts about JT.

Here are the 13 things my children have said or learned during the last 3 1/2 years;

13.  He’s Just Not Ready – and he’s still not ready

12.  Justin was born on December 25th (My oldest is a late December child)

11.  He looks REALLY young, especially considering him and I are the same age!  In fact, my son thought he was 25-years-old and that my first pet was a dinosaur!

10.  The Liberals under JT are going to spend, spend, spend, and then to pay for all that spending, are going to have to raise taxes on everyone! Now our taxes are so high we’re going to have to spend less money on everything so we can afford to live in Canada.

9.   Justin walks a LOT.  In his original campaign ads he walked up a down escalator, and he walked on roads and in fields. As PM, he jogged into pictures, thus my kids have concluded that JT loves the camera, and as PM, he’ll walk everywhere where there is a camera to be seen!

8.   People really didn’t want him or Mulcair in office because both parties want to spend, spend, spend and then tax, tax, tax, but they really didn’t want Harper there even more because his hair has not moved in 10-years as Prime Minister and nobody likes that. Trudeau was the only choice because he’s young so he’ll be able to use computers better and he knows what Millennial are.

7.    As soon as JT tells the United States that Canada is not going to fight ISIS, the US is no longer going to protect Canada.

6.   Also, since Canada wants to find out why ISIS are so angry, it means more ISIS members are going to come to Canada and hide here.  JT said he would not revoke their citizenship, so they are safe.

5.   He taught drama, and now he’ll be bringing the drama to the rest of the world. He won’t give boring speeches, because of his background, he’ll be able to act a bit, use different voices, and be dramatic. In fact, the kids wanted to know how it would look in Question Period – so I showed them a session from last week… They were extremely unimpressed when he refused to answer any questions yet pranced around like he was on stage in a play. (I believe my son said, “once a drama teacher, always a drama teacher”).

4.   I love my children, when they are able to conclude this; “It’s only 4-years, then we can elect a Conservative government to fix everything the Liberals screw up.”

3.   He should not be allowed to speak without having a speech writer because when he has to think on the fly he pauses a lot to think of what the right thing to say is, and that makes him look dumb.  So that makes Canada look dumb. He has said “um” more times in the last few minutes than I have said in my entire life.

2.   This was a great comment too; “Dad, if he considers himself to be a feminist, doesn’t that mean he “likes” women? If so, why did he force that lawyer to lie, and then when she refused, he threw her under the bus and kicked her out of his party? That’s not how you treat your team members, especially the women…”

and number 1.  Do you know how to tell when Justin Trudeau is lying? He opens his mouth. I don’t trust that guy at all.  He never learned. He fired women, he increased taxes, lied, and the only thing he did was legalize pot. That’s not such a great accomplishment…

 

Posted in Parenting

The Urban Daddy Hates Siri – The Weekly Feature


Welcome to what is now going to be my newest feature: The Urban Daddy Hates Siri.

I don’t personally hate the voice behind Siri – she follows me on Twitter and I follow her, and yes, there was a time when I preferred the British voice behind Siri because I was finding that the Australian and American ones just didn’t get me…

In our hands-free / distracted driving world, having Siri available at the call of “Hey Siri” is an assets to parents and business owners.  No fidgeting with a cell phone, or pulling over to text, when you can just summon Siri, and have her do your bidding.

Well, I can’t.

Most of the time I can’t.

Actually almost all of the time I can’t.

I thought it was because I speak too fast, or possibly because I mumble my words, or maybe it’s because I’m not very clear in my pronunciation of certain words..

I’ve come to realize that it’s none of that.

Siri is out to get me.  It’s because I called her stupid and told her to “fuck off” a couple of years ago, and she’s holding a grudge.

Case in point.

“Hey Siri”

“Please send me an email”

Siri: “What is the subject of your email?”

Me: “To do on Monday”

Siri: “Okay, what do you want your email to say?”

Me: “This Monday make sure to go to Splashables (for swimming products for the kids), make a doctors appointment and… well… I have no idea.”

Here is what Siri emailed me: “I Monday you need to make an appointment as washable know I need to make a doctors appointment and you need to go you fossil to pick up some goggles for your son.”

WTF?!? That’s not even close to what I said, and she called me a fossil…

 

Thanks Siri… Bitch!

Posted in Canada, Coffee, Community, Daddy, family, Food, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Why Do “We” Do This As Parents?


Why, as parents, do we do everything in our power to;

  1. Keep our kids quit in restaurants, by teaching them how to behave in public, yet when they’re in a McDonalds, we allow them to sit on their own, run around the place, scream, sing and be really, really disruptive to everyone around them.  They are especially annoying to the, ahem, father who is trying to write blog posts with his headphones on, but cannot put 2 thoughts together because of the chaos.
  2. Teach children that our word is our word and that they should listen to us, but then after telling them over and over again, for example, that they cannot have dessert until they eat their McNuggets, and then when they don’t eat their McNuggets, buy them dessert anyways?
  3. Keep the kids quiet – and by quiet, I mean asking them to take the cups off their mouths and stop singing at the top of their lungs – but when they refuse to listen, “distracting” them by buying them dessert…

Who parents like this?

When I asked why do “we”, I really meant who do “they”.  I certainly do not parent like that!

Yet there are a whole bunch of parents in here who do!

 

Update:

The loud people left, finally, but not before the kids bolted and hid under tables (even tables where people were eating), and as the final piece of class, the father yelled “John! I’ll see you in the car” and with that he headed to the door, leaving a 3-year-old, wailing in the middle of the restaurant.  Thankfully the kids 5yo sister came to get him.

Then, just as the ringing in my ears subsided, 2 mothers and 2 girls came in, and the mothers have allowed the kids to absolutely run wild in here… (see, not just the dads).

The kids have been running around barefoot (ugh), and in their socks (ugh), and screaming, spiting, sitting on tables and walking across the chairs.  After a few dirty glares, the parents shh’d the kids, but then the parents went back to talking and the kids took of their shoes and are back to yelling, and picking up stuff from the floor…

Again I ask… Why do parents think it’s okay to let their kids run amok in some restaurants, but not others?!?

Posted in Daddy, events, family, health, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy

Happy Birthday to The Urban Daddy Dinosaur


So today is my birthday.  I’m not normally a fan of birthdays – something about getting older, and all the unnecessary attention that it brings – but I had to share a conversation that I had with my son.

Him: “Happy birthday Dad.  What do you want for your birthday?”

Me: “Nothing, thank you.  Just lots of hugs.”

Him: “Okay.  That’s easy.  What are you going to do differently this year?”

Me: “Ummm…. I’m going to lose a pound of weight for every year old that I am.”

Him: “Won’t it be difficult trying to lose 150 pounds?”

Posted in boo, Daddy, family, Life, Parenting, school, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

A Random Thought From a Child…


Random thoughts and comments are the best blogging material on the planet!  They also serve the purpose of providing me with a permanent memory of cute, funny or unusual things said by my children while they are still quite young.

This ditty came from a six-year-old girl…

 

Her:

“Daddy…

The bald spot on the top of your head is very soft…

Cats’ fur is also very soft…

What kind of fur does Hello Kitty have?

Do you know what’s bad? Jealousy is bad…

Bullying is bad too.”

 

Me:  “Did they teach you in that at school?”

Her:  “No, I just knew that.”