Posted in Parenting

The Urban Daddy Hates Siri – The Weekly Feature


Welcome to what is now going to be my newest feature: The Urban Daddy Hates Siri.

I don’t personally hate the voice behind Siri – she follows me on Twitter and I follow her, and yes, there was a time when I preferred the British voice behind Siri because I was finding that the Australian and American ones just didn’t get me…

In our hands-free / distracted driving world, having Siri available at the call of “Hey Siri” is an assets to parents and business owners.  No fidgeting with a cell phone, or pulling over to text, when you can just summon Siri, and have her do your bidding.

Well, I can’t.

Most of the time I can’t.

Actually almost all of the time I can’t.

I thought it was because I speak too fast, or possibly because I mumble my words, or maybe it’s because I’m not very clear in my pronunciation of certain words..

I’ve come to realize that it’s none of that.

Siri is out to get me.  It’s because I called her stupid and told her to “fuck off” a couple of years ago, and she’s holding a grudge.

Case in point.

“Hey Siri”

“Please send me an email”

Siri: “What is the subject of your email?”

Me: “To do on Monday”

Siri: “Okay, what do you want your email to say?”

Me: “This Monday make sure to go to Splashables (for swimming products for the kids), make a doctors appointment and… well… I have no idea.”

Here is what Siri emailed me: “I Monday you need to make an appointment as washable know I need to make a doctors appointment and you need to go you fossil to pick up some goggles for your son.”

WTF?!? That’s not even close to what I said, and she called me a fossil…

 

Thanks Siri… Bitch!

Posted in Canada, Coffee, Community, Daddy, family, Food, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

Why Do “We” Do This As Parents?


Why, as parents, do we do everything in our power to;

  1. Keep our kids quit in restaurants, by teaching them how to behave in public, yet when they’re in a McDonalds, we allow them to sit on their own, run around the place, scream, sing and be really, really disruptive to everyone around them.  They are especially annoying to the, ahem, father who is trying to write blog posts with his headphones on, but cannot put 2 thoughts together because of the chaos.
  2. Teach children that our word is our word and that they should listen to us, but then after telling them over and over again, for example, that they cannot have dessert until they eat their McNuggets, and then when they don’t eat their McNuggets, buy them dessert anyways?
  3. Keep the kids quiet – and by quiet, I mean asking them to take the cups off their mouths and stop singing at the top of their lungs – but when they refuse to listen, “distracting” them by buying them dessert…

Who parents like this?

When I asked why do “we”, I really meant who do “they”.  I certainly do not parent like that!

Yet there are a whole bunch of parents in here who do!

 

Update:

The loud people left, finally, but not before the kids bolted and hid under tables (even tables where people were eating), and as the final piece of class, the father yelled “John! I’ll see you in the car” and with that he headed to the door, leaving a 3-year-old, wailing in the middle of the restaurant.  Thankfully the kids 5yo sister came to get him.

Then, just as the ringing in my ears subsided, 2 mothers and 2 girls came in, and the mothers have allowed the kids to absolutely run wild in here… (see, not just the dads).

The kids have been running around barefoot (ugh), and in their socks (ugh), and screaming, spiting, sitting on tables and walking across the chairs.  After a few dirty glares, the parents shh’d the kids, but then the parents went back to talking and the kids took of their shoes and are back to yelling, and picking up stuff from the floor…

Again I ask… Why do parents think it’s okay to let their kids run amok in some restaurants, but not others?!?

Posted in Daddy, events, family, health, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy

Happy Birthday to The Urban Daddy Dinosaur


So today is my birthday.  I’m not normally a fan of birthdays – something about getting older, and all the unnecessary attention that it brings – but I had to share a conversation that I had with my son.

Him: “Happy birthday Dad.  What do you want for your birthday?”

Me: “Nothing, thank you.  Just lots of hugs.”

Him: “Okay.  That’s easy.  What are you going to do differently this year?”

Me: “Ummm…. I’m going to lose a pound of weight for every year old that I am.”

Him: “Won’t it be difficult trying to lose 150 pounds?”

Posted in boo, Daddy, family, Life, Parenting, school, The Urban Daddy, Toronto

A Random Thought From a Child…


Random thoughts and comments are the best blogging material on the planet!  They also serve the purpose of providing me with a permanent memory of cute, funny or unusual things said by my children while they are still quite young.

This ditty came from a six-year-old girl…

 

Her:

“Daddy…

The bald spot on the top of your head is very soft…

Cats’ fur is also very soft…

What kind of fur does Hello Kitty have?

Do you know what’s bad? Jealousy is bad…

Bullying is bad too.”

 

Me:  “Did they teach you in that at school?”

Her:  “No, I just knew that.”

 

Posted in Canada, Community, Daddy, family, money, Parenting, Recommends, The Urban Daddy, travel

Sunwing’s 5 Fun Family Vacations (with Kids)


I came across an email which was entitled; “Creating Back to School Memories NOW!” and I’m a huge fan of anything which creates fond memories for us, as parents, and especially for the kids.

Since we’re never really sure when an opportunity for vacation might pop up, I thought I would re-post this fun list from Sunwing.ca, just in case it could inspire us in the future or inspire one of you.

If you’re looking to take a family vacation this summer that won’t break the bank, grab the kids and Join the Club!

From slime to surfing, Sunwing has rounded up some amazing experiences that are bound to make your little one’s friends jealous come back to school this September. Plus, Kids Clubs are free and part of your all-inclusive package, and the best part, they’ll ensure the kiddies are occupied all week long, you are voted “the best parent ever,” and that you get in some time to relax under the sun.

Here are five extraordinary experiences in the Caribbean to check out this summer:

Get Slimed at Nickelodeon Hotels and Resorts Punta Cana

1

Prepare to get slimed and partake in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle slime-making classes! Kids can get up close and personal with their favourite Nickelodeon characters including SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer. The resort’s Kids Club also features a mega-ball pit and two-storey slide. When the children are not at the Kids Club, the whole family can join in on the Nickelodeon experience: from breakfast with Dora the Explorer, to meeting the splash mob of characters at Aqua Nick water park, to grabbing a selfie with all your favourite characters at Character Central.

Be a Zookeeper for a Day at Memories Holguin Beach Resort
2

Kids can look forward to Zoo Day Tuesdays at this resort in Holguin, Cuba. Hop on a fun carriage ride to the petting zoo as part of the daily Kids Club program. Other highlights include a Friday talent show for kiddies to express their creativity, water games and meet-and-greets with favourite characters, Toopy and Binoo. While the kids are being entertained, parents can look forward to sipping on tropical cocktails on the beach or trying out some exciting water sports such as windsurfing, kayaking and snorkelling.

 

Splash-tastic Fun at Grand Riviera Princess All Suites Spa and Resort

3

Get ready for some fun in the sun in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico! Boasting its own pool and waterslide, the Mini and Teen Club at the Family Club section has everything needed for endless water fun. The property’s daily program of activities run until the evening so parents can take advantage of the many onsite, à la carte dining restaurants with options that include Italian classics, sumptuous seafood dishes, authentic Mexican dishes and more.

 

Live like a Cowboy at Jewel Runaway Bay Beach and Golf Resort

4


Visit the Red Ruby Ranch in Runaway Bay, Jamaica, where little ones can pretend they’re in the Wild West with activities that range from horse grooming lessons and hay rides to bonfires and laser tag. After dropping off the kids at this Kids Club, parents can work on their swing at the Championship golf course (green fees are complimentary) or enjoy a game of tennis. Afterwards the whole family can cool off in the onsite water park, the largest in Montego Bay.

 

Surf it Up at Royalton Bavaro Resort and Spa + Big Kid Fun

5

Surf’s up in Punta Cana! At this newly opened resort, the entire family can experience the ultimate surf machine ‘FlowRider’ and practice catching waves. When the family has dried off, enjoy meet and greets with favourite characters Max & Ruby™. For the teens, a hangout club includes all the latest video games, flat screen TVs, snooker tables and more. A phone charging station makes sure they won’t miss a beat posting their fabulous vacation pics on social and making their friends jealous. They can even call their friends for free with the Royalton app and access to free Wi-Fi. While taking a break from the kids, parents also enjoy their own downtime, relaxing as they float down the resort’s lazy river or savouring a cocktail at one of the eight bars.