The end of the world really is coming… Here are the signs according to this urban daddy


In Italy, I believe, the citizens there were convinced there was a massive earthquake coming on May 11th, 2011 which was going to swallow them all up and that would be it for them.

That didn’t happen.

Now I hear there is a group of people predicting that May 21st, 2011 is really the last day on earth. Something is going to happen which will wipe of civilization as we know it.

Well, if that is the case, I guess I don’t need to complete that report I am working on for the office which is due on June 1st, do I? No one will be around to care. LOL

I don’t mean to poke fun at crazy people – wait, yes I do – but all this nonsense about predicting an exact date the world is going to end is all crap, IMHO. Instead all you need to do is look at the signs… Real signs… Like these ones listed below.

Here are some signs;

Arnold Schwarzenegger admits to wife Maria Schriver he has a “secret” 13 year old boy with their housekepper and she leaves him. Not surprising considering Arnie’s past track record of “groping” woman. This kid was actually born 5 days after Arnie and MAria’s child… WOW. And what tops this story off, is that someone decided to ask KISS frontman Gene Simmons for his opinion and good ‘ol Gene said it wasn’t Arnie’s fault. He just produces too much sperm in a day and cannot “take Thursday’s off”.

America’s Most Wanted has been cancelled after 23 years on the air

A rapper named M-Bone was killed in a drive-by shooting in LA. Drive-by’s??? We’re still doing those? I thought years ago it was cool, then we all realized it was cowardly. The shooters should be ashamed of themselves for taking this route…

Or…

… has anyone heard his music? M-Bone, T-Bone, Bone-in, Bone-out… Now he’ll sell more records. Here comes the stories of what a good guy he was. Caring about the community, blah, blah, blah.

Stephen Hawking said there is no afterlife… Damn! So much for finding Hitler and kicking his dead ass.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to be President of the US. Essentially he fired himself. 🙂

Fields of watermelons are exploding, like land-mines, in China after farmers added a growth accelerator to young watermelons (with a thinner rind). It rain a lot, and now the melons are exploding… Oh yes.

Here’s to hoping that the chemicals put in these melons are safe to consume by humans.

Too bad the US got to Bin Laden before the Chinese developed these exploding melons. They could have placed these melons all over Afghanistan and they could have started exploding and destroyed all the caves… Oh, wait… He wasn’t hiding in the caves. How primative. He was in an estate in Pakistan.

Whe knew!?!

Jedi vs Sith has gone offline, on Facebook, preventing me from reaching my goal of being in the top 50 in the world. I have officially retired from the game at 57th in the world. On the bright side, I now have an extra hour a day to play Cityville that my wife hooked me on. #$%^&#%$^%*&^$^#&.

The end of the world must be near as reports come out that Pearl Jam is going on tour to celebrate their 20th anniversary… Of what? Of being together or of the last song they released. Really? Who is going to go see this band? They are so… 1990.

So if these are not clear signs of the end of the world as we know it, then tell me, what is?

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Thursday Thirteen


Thirteen things I hate… Today…

13. BMW drivers – Think they own the world because they drive a BMW.  I was always told that Mercedes drivers represent old money and BMW driver’s new money.  So I am coming to the conclusion that new money means having to show people you have money and that equates to buying / leasing a beemer and driving like you don’t give a shit about anyone else on the road.  I must honk 2 of them a day for not signaling or cutting people off.  Assholes.

12. My office keyboard.  Stupid thing got wet (something to do with me spilling water on it) and now when I type capital letters the Ucking thing drops the first letter and capitalizes the next one… 

11. Swine flu / H1N1 / influenza panic… Good g-d, people are going to make themselves sick worrying about the damn vaccination.

10. The NY Yankees.  They won the world series last night and, well, see my post on them on my sports blog; www.daddyknowssports.wordpress.com.

9. Our former nanny.  Left us a couple weeks ago and has been texting me asking for more money – extra money that she thinks she is entitled to, but confusing with vacation pay which she received way more than she was entitled to.  She thinks she was given extra pay our of the kindness of our hearts, I told her it was but there aint no more.  Now she’s bitching about calling the labour department.  I called first and we’re good.  She’s a noob.  🙂

8.  My Achilles.  I finally stretched a lot and went for a run to test it out.  Ran for 10 minutes and there was no pain, but it felt really weak, like any sudden movement would cause it to hurt.  I hate that.  I need to run to stay healthy.

7.  My weight.  I blame it on Halloween that I am forced to eat those fucking little chocolate bars like they are going out of style.  Because they are small does not allow me to eat 10 of them at once, right?  OR does it…

6.  Fair-weather friends.  Either you’re my friend and you want to hang out, or we’re not and that’s fine, but don’t string me along by being phony and they never come out.  I can’t waste time on this whole being social thing… After planning a few outings, if it’s not reciprocated, I’m done with you.

5.  Jedi vs. Sith on Facebook.  I’m fucking addicted!  Grrrr.  As of last night I was 78th in the world.  14 million players have this application.  I have 4100 points (3 points for a win, lose 1 for a loss) and the leader has 40,000.

4.  Hulk Hogan signing with TNA wrestling.  It’s a shitty promotion that might have potential if they cut the gimmicks and produced a decent show.  Crappy writing and even crappier plots make me wonder why this show exists.  Besides the fact that I hate the name “TNA” since it is too close to “Tits ‘n’ Ass” but Total Non-stop Action is not the name for a successful wrestling organization.  And Hogan… 56 years old.  Seriously.

3.   My choice of area for trick-or-treating this year.  Sucks ass.  I expected the $2 million dollar home owners to kick out some kick-ass treats for the kids.  But one candy-bar per houses?!?  Cheapskates!  How disappointing.  Not making that mistake again!

2.  Guns and Roses.  I’m still pissed at them for their simply horrible release this year.  I kind of wish they had released a bunch of stuff throughout the past decade so the shit they put on this album might have come out in other releases.   There is no good hard rock nowadays and as I listen to a few of their songs on my iPod It makes me even more pissed off.  They used to be great.  Same for Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver.  Where is the new Saliva, Disturbed and Rob Zombie?

1.  Iran.  Saw this news story and it pisses me off, considering Iran claims to be doing nothing wrong. Ever.

The seizure of a massive shipment of Iranian arms bound for terrorist organization Hizbollah, proves the arms flow to Syria and south Lebanon from Iran.  The attempt to smuggle arms to Syria and Hizbullah was an Iranian violation of a UN Security Council resolution.  Typically, Iran continues to smuggle arms to terrorists under the guise of legitimate international commerce, turning the Mediterranean Sea into a platform for illegal action. 

The weapons seizure “unequivocally and without a doubt” proves the Iran-Syria-south Lebanon weapons-trafficking route.

The ship was released overnight Wednesday after 36 weapons-filled containers were unloaded, and the 12 crew members boarded the vessel and made their way back on their planned route.

Hundreds of tons of weaponry, the largest arms seizure in Israel’s history, were intercepted in the daring raid by Israeli naval commandos aboard the cargo ship sailing 100 nautical miles west of Israel.

The arms shipment was 10 times the size of the cache found on the Palestinian arms ship Karine A in 2002, defense officials said.

The different types of arms offloaded from the ship were familiar to Israel as those Hizbullah already possesses in its arsenal, Israel Radio quoted defense officials as saying.

Military sources assessed Teheran would be forced to change its smuggling routes following the Israel Navy’s successful operation.

The cache was hidden inside shipping containers belonging to the Islamic Republic of Iran Shipping Lines (IRISL) which departed from the Bandar Abbas Port in Iran some 10 days ago, were unloaded in the Egyptian port of Damietta and then loaded onto the Francop, a German vessel flying an Antiguan flag.

On Wednesday, Israeli PM, Netanyahu addressed the international community concerning Iran’s material support for terrorist organizations by saying, “Iran is sending these weapons to terror organizations to harm Israeli cities and kill its citizens.  The time has come for the international community to exert real pressure on Iran to stop this criminal activity and to support Israel when it defends itself against these terrorists and their patrons.”

This is going to be a tough task considering the axis of evil lined up to denounce Israel left, right and centre every time something happens in the middle east.

It’s been a quiet posting week…


Lots going on…

Lots.

 

But with UM feeling better, we’ve both been able to get to bed a little earlier.  A couple nights ago we both flaked out watching Law and Order on or PVR.  Last night while UM was studying for a quiz, I got caught up on some work emails, played Jedi vs Sith on Facebook, then more Law and Order, and sleep.

While I feel more tired in the morning, I totally feel better overall…

Living on 5-6 hours sleep a night, everynight, really is not that much fun.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that…


How was your weekend?  Mine?  Are you asking me?  Really?  Well then… We spent this weekend with a child who really wanted to eat and drink, to the point of having a tantrum if he could not, but then, after eating and drinking, would throw up the contents of his little tummy – food not even slightly digested.  In between vomit-fest, were mega-poo’s of the very wet variety seeping through diaper, clothes, towel, bed and whatever else was in it’s way. UGH.

I was so glad to leave the house this morning to go to work (imagine that!) so I wouldn’t have to smell poo or vomit anymore… It was getting to be too much.  It was everywhere!

It’s true Dads… Mums do have it harder when kids are sick!

Sick kid and all, we trekked up to Green Acres camp for a birthday party of Linus’ classmate and had a wonderful time. We petted bunnies, sheep (babies too) and fed the chickens. 

Me, personally, I hate zoos and farms because quite frankly they smell like shit.  I’m not a big fan of ducking poo here and there and watching animals take a dump. I’m still traumatized from seeing a elephant unload a whopper when I was young.  It’s was nasty and I couldn’t eat large quantities of ground beef for months after. But hey, it wasn’t about me and the kids had fun. Linus ran off an played on his own which he never does and Stewie wanted to eat. Grapes, specifically. One incident went something like this;

Stewie “Want gapes”

Urban Mummy “There are no more”

Stewie “WANT gapes”

UM “There are no more”

Stewie “WANT GAPESSSSS

UM “I told you there are no more”… followed by a angry-faced hair pulling and a smack.

UM “Don’t hit me or pull my hair”

Stewiesupid, supid, supid, supid, supid, supid“… (Read: supid = stupid)

Nice, eh? Anyways, there was food, games, shovels and buckets and a tractor ride. We all had fun… Except maybe UM whose jacket I left with the gift in the middle of a bench somewhere in the complex. Hope they found it before it rained or the sheep ate it.

Jedi vs Sith – That addictive facebook game! Damn that game!!! I have to finish all games before we leave for our trip (Wednesday) of I’ll lose by auto-win… Noooooooooo! I’m a geek. I know.

Now, for a more serious comment about family. Without getting into it too much, I have three cousins – sisters, that I babysat when I was younger quite a lot and got to know these kids very well. After their parents divorced, we kept in touch with my Uncle, but they went with their mom and we rarely heard from them, except for facebook… recently. Well before UM and I had Linus this cousin had a baby, got married, and I tried to keep in touch, she was now 27, not 7 and I thought as family the cousins should get to know each other, but to no avail.  Only excuses. I invited her and her hubby to both brises and to our annual New Years’ Day open house and heard nothing back. I did get some pictures for our grandmother so she could see the baby. Anyways, it is with great sadness that I find out this weekend that my cousin – now 30, had another baby – this time a boy, in April. No one in our family knew. She didn’t even have the courtesy to drop me an email… Nice. I’m contemplating emailing her or facebooking her sisters to say something because I can. That’s my style, but UM and my mother think I should leave it alone. Anyone have any experiences like this, and can offer some advice?

I’m stealing this story from Urban Mummy before she gets to post it. She told me that she was playing the new Barenaked Ladies children’s CD in the car for Linus, and she told him as such. When she got back in the car with him after his parent-teacher interview, he asked to listen to CD again, but referred to the artist as the “naked girls”. Cute, eh? Asked me the same thing after his last swimming class… “Naked Girls”… he he he.

We are all heading to the lovely US of A for a family function Wednesday and will return by the end of the week. This will be Stewie’s (all 1 1/2 of him) 4th or 5th flight. I was 35 by my 5th flight. 🙂

Now, a new feature and tell me honestly if you like it or hate it, but /I took a few minutes and typed down some insane talk I over heard at the office this morning…

Overheard:

“Before Jesus came they used to sacrifice lambs, and humans to these G-ds, before Jesus came, whomever they are. Then Jesus came and said you don’t have to do that anymore… that is why I have vegetarian blood. You can’t get iron from veg so I’m drinking protein shakes…”

“If you had to take a rocket to the moon, would you not check the gas?”

“We drink cows milk because “they” found something they wanted to sell, so they promoted it and forced everyone to drink it.”

“Coffee: caffeine – clogs your system – is the problem – stimulates your heart too much. Dehydrates you. Diuretic. I’ll go to green tea. (other person says: green tea has 4 times the caffeine of coffee)… Well then I’ll go to a lemon drink! Anything marketed is no good. I’ll show them! I need more lemons in my diet anyways”

“Problem with blood pressure – is you have high cholesterol and the bad is higher than the good – chance of stroke is high. “They” want you to go on pills right away. “They” don’t want to take the time to help you, they get money for the pills and not for helping you. If you’re overweight – stressed – blood pressure goes up – must be sick. You’re money for “them”.”

“Sodium – ratio of potassium to sodium is 3-1. If not 3-1 then high blood pressure. People are taking potassium in their diets to even out the ratio… Yeah!.”

Today is Grandpa’s birthday and the kids did some artwork and picked out a funky hoodie that I didn’t think Grandpa would like but they did and they desecrated – err, coloured – his birthday card… Hope he liked the effort. Those kids try so hard!

Tomorrow… Interview and a trip to police headquarters (details to follow).

Cheers all!!!