Posted in Being Jewish in Toronto, Life

Thursday Thirteen: Parenthood the third time through. Thirteen things I don’t recall the other kids doing


I have been maintaining this blog since just before the birth of our oldest son, Linus, which would be 2004, and at that time – as you can attest to – with your first-born you make note of everything from lack of sleep to rolling over, to loosing teeth.  Once the second child arrived, there were some comparisons made to the first child, but there were also situations where we had to think about whether Linus had done what Stewie was now doing.  Then came Berry, and it was forget about it.  By 3, you know they are not going to die if they cry for 5 minutes, and that rash… It’ll go away.  Oh, she threw up?  Let’s watch her and kiss of sleep tonight.

But there has been some things recently which makes me think back to Linus and Stewie to see if each child did this, or if it’s just for us the third time around.

13.  Germs and dirt: Either we have a germ-a-phobe on our hands or I forgot what it’s like have a 2-year-old, or possibly it’s just a girl thing, but Berry went through a phase where for about 2 weeks she refused to bathe because the tub was dirty, or sit on a toilet seat if the toilet was dirty.    Funny, yet frustrating it how I would describe it.

12.  Language: “Linus is an idiot!  He’s an ASS”.  I do not for the life of me recall Linus using language like this towards anyone.  Classmates, us, his brother or his sister, however little spark plug Stewie blurts it out daily now.

11.  Nutrition: “How much sugar is in milk?  How much fibre is there?  Iron?”  This was Berry to me the other morning as she was eating cereal and reading the box and the jug of milk.  She was quizzing me…  I don’t recall my boys at 2 1/2 doing this.

10.  Food issues:  Linus will stand beside a plate of cookies, without touching them, and point to them and politely ask if he can have one.  Stewie… Dives in and stops when we catch him.  I think with Berry we just keep her away so Stewie won’t influence her.

9.  Picky eaters.  Linus ate everything as a baby.  Urban Mummy made all his food from scratch and he loved spinach, eggs, fruits, veggies, and yogurt.  As he got older he got pickier to the point now that he’d be happy with plain noodles and bread.  Stewie, the human garbage can was always picky to some extent but when he likes something he inhales it, ie. 5 mini-pizzas for dinner, 5 green apples a day, 2 english cucumbers for a snack, but in the last week he’s off everything.  “I don’t like that anymore”.  Berry… Very picky and all over the place.  She starts eating what we have for dinner then when she sees the boys eating something else she wants that too, then after the meal is over she’s had 9 different things.  I honestly have no idea what her favourite foods are…

8.  Bathing.  Linus is a fish.  Stewie HATED the water and when him and I did swimming lessons, he spent the first lesson clinging to me keeping every inch of his body out of the water.  It terrified him.  Berry, hated the water too, having never done swimming lessons, and freaking out in the bath when I tried to wash her hair.  Now she likes it but I recall both boys hating to have their hair washed… I believe.  It’s the bath blur.

7.  Motoring (or motor-mouth): All 3 of my kids walked late – 15 months – nd talked early, in some cases stringing together 2-3 words before the age of 1, but I have the feeling that Berry’s vocabulary is the best!  She strings together smart sentences and they surprise me most of the time.  The other day I took the many decorative pillows off our bed and placed them on the floor.  In walked Berry and said this; “Oh, why are all the pillows on the floor?  Did you put them there, Daddy?  They don’t belong on the floor, they’ll get dirty… Silly.  I’ll help you move them”.  Whew.

6.  Sleep… Oh sleep.  Linus has always been a very sound sleeper – he slept through Stewie’s birth (a planned home birth)  at the age of 22 months.  Stewie slept for 2-3 hours at a time for 10 months which makes him a not so good sleeper.  Berry gets into bed and sings, talks and plays for what seems to be hours.  I don’t remember if the boys played like this because we were too exhausted at that time to pay attention and who knew there would be three of them to compare too…

5.  Sports:  My boys never liked sports.  I’m pretty sure getting them to try hockey or baseball was difficult but with Berry it’s different  She flips out not when I ask her to play but when she cannot participate.  She loves sports.  Granted, when there is sports on the TV, she says; “Daddy, is this basketball?  Hockey?  Wrestling?”  LOL.  She cannot tell them apart but she’s going to be a star.  Competitive and focussed.  Yay.

4.  Technology:  Linus’ first word was iPod.  Stewie iPhone and Berry, well it should have been iPad.  But Berry can open up and set up that iPad and get her games working and move through them with ease.  I can’t recall if my boys were as proficient at that age.  Sure now, I’ll give my iPad to Linus to fix, but Berry gets it too..

3.  Wrestling:  I love wrestling.  It makes me laugh and no one is allowed to watch it, but if it’s 0n sometimes they catch a glimpse.  Until recently Linus and Stewie had zero interest in wrestling.  Now it’s somehow become part of their lives as it did mine growing up.  Linus asks if Mark Henry can life our treadmill, Stewie compared a distance of 7-feet to the height of the Great Khali and Berry runs around my house making the hand gestures and sounds that Kane does before he sets the ring post on fire.  She also loves Brodus Clay’s theme song, and we’ll catch her singing “Gonna call my momma… ya ya ya ya!”

2.  Religion:  Linus goes to a private Jewish day school.  Stewie went to public school last year and is at the same school as his brother.  Linus thinks the world started by G-d when Adam and Eve were placed on the earth.  Stewie said, no its the big bang and evolution and dinosaurs were on the planet first.  Berry, on the other hand is going to a very religious Jewish nursery school and is the more religious of the 3 of them and that makes me laugh since we’re not that observant.  At least they’ll have each other to speak Hebrew to, since I have no idea what they’re saying.

1.  Respect.  It might just be the mob mentality, but when the three get going we fear for our lives.  LOL.  But seriously, Linus was respectful growing up, testing the limits every now and them but understanding his place.  Stewie on the other hand has no qualms about telling us how much he dislikes his brother or me for “wanting to kill him (read sending him to his room where he won’t get to come out ever or eat or drink water).  He’s a little dramatic.  Berry has been observing her brothers and we’re kind of hoping she stays happy and loving and follows neither of her brothers.  I doubt that will remain the same.

Tell me about your kids… If you have more than one does the memory fade away or what have you done to preserve it?

Posted in Life

Ah, those kids and the things they say… Was I this clever / funny as a kid? I doubt it.

If I still had a smart phone I would be able to pull off to the side of the road whenever my kids say something funny or clever and tweet it right away, however until that happens again, I’m stuck making notes on pieces of paper then throwing them into a blog post entitled something like this one.

Here is the driving force behind this post;

In the car on our way up North this past weekend Ms. Urban Daddy asked the children the following question; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Linus responded first; “I want to be a policeman!”.

Stewie responded next; “I want to be everything!”.  His justification was that if he did everything then he could do what he really liked the most and he would make a LOT of money and be famous.

I guess being “Stewie” on this successful, top-rated Canadian daddy blog is not enough. 

Dream big, little man!

Berry, the youngest and last to respond said; “I want to be a poo” at which point the three kids burst into giggles.  Nice!  Corrupt the poor little girl.

Let the record show I’m not surprised by the boys’ choices, however I have higher expectations for my princess…


I also caught Stewie later that day calling his older brother a “Stupid ass”.


Poor Berry has decided she no longer likes to pee.  Not sure if something hurts or not – I asked her a couple days ago if it hurt to pee and she said yes, it did, and when I asked he to touch where it hurt she touched he right elbow.

“Your right elbow hurts when you pee?” I asked her

“Yes!” she replied.  “I hurt myself”.

Not taking that to be the only ailment, my wife took her to the doctor later that week and in the testing for symptoms, the doctor thought it would be a good idea of little Berry pee’d in the cup so they could check her urine.  While that test was negative, we’re still wondering what’s going on with her, physical or psychological.

I received the update on the doctor’s appointment from mummy and baby – with some prompting from mummy to recall the details.

“I went to the Doctor, Daddy!” 

“I pee’d on the doctor, Daddy”

In response to how did you get upstairs to the doctor’s office, she blurted out this;

“I went in the alligator”.

Such a proud little girl.

I would have pee’d on the doctor too if my mummy made me ride in an alligator to get there.


Posted in Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen

This week’s Thursday Thirteen was actually last week’s Thursday Thirteen and probably should have been for the week before, however it required some assistance from my son Linus, and some effort from me to write up the post.

I have procrastinated no longer.

So without further adieu, I present this week’s Thursday Thirteen

The thought behind this Thursday Thirteen came while I was sitting in traffic on one of my many long journeys’ home, during summer construction chaos. On my XM radio, for some strange / stupid reason, it does not display the whole song title or the whole name of the band. So when I see a song or a song title that is too long, I get most of the information then it just cuts off leaving me to guess the rest. So what I did was to have one of my carpool mate Abutot write down the name and title with a blank where it cuts off and then I took that information to my 6-year-old son, Linus and asked him to fill in the blanks.

Here is that list;

13. Kesha – Your Love is My_______ (Linus said, “heart”)
12. Adele – Rolling in the _______ (Linus said “Diary”)
11. Steve Vai – I Would Like To _________ (Linus said “foo foo dust you”)
10. Danger Mouse and ________ (Linus said “Duck”. Abutot said “Dumburger”) – Two Against One
9. Red Hot Chili ______ (Linus said “Pretzels” ) – Aeroplane.
8. Boston – More than a ________ (Linus said “Feeling”) Not bad, eh?
7. Lucky Diaz and ______ (Linus said “Touch”) – ABC is the Right ______ (Linus said ”Song for Babies”)
6. Olivia Newton-John – I Honestly Love _______ (Linus first said “You”, then he giggled and changed that to “Swings, Slides and Trampolines”)
5. Heavy D & the ____ (Linus said “Box”) – Now that we _____ (Linus said “Fart”)
4. Smiths – The Boy with the ______ (Linus said “Fart” but I told him not to repeat – or they’d all be fart – so he chose “Alien”).
3. Celine Dion & _____ (Linus said “Penis”) – Beauty and the _____ (Linus said “Bum Bum”)
2. Accept – Princess of the _______ (Linus said “Castle”)
1. Queen of the ______ (Linus said “Streets”) – No One Knows (even though there is no more to this song, Linus said “Anything” fits nicely.)

Posted in family

What the heck do little boys keep in their pockets, afterall?

So lately I have noticed that my youngest boy, Stewie, had been shlepping around stuff in his pockets much like his older brother used to do.  The other day I found his jeans full of stuff.  The left pocket was fully loaded with sand and the right pocket had a dinosaur in it… Not just any dinosaur, however, but one that stands on its hind feet, hence a meat-eater, or carnivore.

But this picture below beats that.

My wife emptied his pockets today and this is what she took out;

Take a good look.

3 lizards, 3 bears, 1 piece of Lego, 2 marbles, 1 T-Rex, 2 stegosauruses, 1 triceratops, 1 eraser and some smutchie.


And just now take clothes out of the washing machine, I rescued one marble, 3 stickers and some coins.

Did we do this as kids???

Posted in family

How do I know this is love? A Daddy’s view on the Relationship of his 3 Children (under 6 yrs old).

My kids love each other!

Well, let me clarify this a little. My boys love their baby sister, and my boys love each other but the boys don’t like each other.

When my boys are together, they play so well together but every now and then my older one grows devil’s horns and provokes his little brother who them beats the shit out of him. But fear not, since both boys are in karate there is some self-defense in there and now that the older one has some courage, he hits back and they both come crying to us with their wounds.

When my younger son used to draw family pictures we would ask him who was in the picture;

“Me, mummy, daddy, baby, nanny, cat”.
“What about Linus?”
“I don’t like him so I didn’t draw him”.

So when my youngest son gets upset, he yells at my oldest boy, “I’m NOT going to draw you in my pictures!!!” Oh, yes he does!

But I am finding more and more that my oldest boy and baby girl have developed a special bond. Not that I’m surprised. When we had Stewie – at home – Linus, who had slept through the birth in his room, came into our room in the morning to see if we had the baby. When he saw newborn Stewie, he ran over, gave the baby a gentle hug and kiss and very proudly held him. He loves babies!

Sure, as Stewie got older, Linus would pick on him and knock him over, but Stewie got even by poking him in the eyes on day and that evened the score.

So now that Berry is around, Linus is all over her, hugging her, kissing her, talking to her, laughing at her and getting her to laugh back. Then, last week I saw Berry and Linus share a laugh followed quickly by Berry smacking herslef in the side of the head. She hit herself three times then laughed, why??? because Linus had taught her this. He was encouraging her to do it, and after 8 or 9 smacks she began pulling her hair and then crying.

Now, he has taught her to make some silly mouth noises and he can get her to do them – including raspberries – by mouthing the action and smiling at her to encourage her to continue when we race to get her to stop. She usually tries the mouth stuff during dinner.

Like I said… My kids love each other.

I’m dreading the day the unite against us. LOL.