I’m working in the Starbucks this morning and I cannot help but overhear the discussion behind me because the couple are really loud and seem to forget that they are sitting in a Starbucks. At first, I thought they were breaking up, then I thought they were hooking up, but now I really have no idea what is going on and, to be honest, neither do they!
Here are some highlights of this loud and public conversation;
Oh, you’re taking advice from him? Of all the guys I’ve wanted to beat up for looking at you, he is at the top of my list.
You’re dressed like you run drugs
Look at yourself… Don’t you have any shame?
I’ve gotten over you twice.
I’m going up north for a week of total partying. Nothing else. You’re not invited.
Between last week and this week I made a lot of plans with people and they all fell through so I need to make plans about how to make better plans so they won’t fall through.
Then his side gets kind of weird and awkward…
These plans that fell through messed up my son, because, he needs to nap and stuff… He overheated, had sand in his ass and stuff
My son hates water ever since I pulled his feet out from under him and he went under the water… He hated that.
He won’t even bathe.
He must have a red ass, or stuff that he doesn’t want cleaned.
He’s cried in the bath every time for months…
Since he did most of the talking…
We should go dancing!
Oh, I hope he’s okay.
You’re not supposed to do that to kids
You have to clean him up
Where will he be while you are partying?
Can I come with instead?
I’m not running drugs. I’m not a whore. I like the way I look. Look at you? You’re in a Starbucks looking like that… Eww.
Can we get out of here?
And off they went… Together.
The guys at the table beside me started to clap and said that would make for a great soap opera.
I’m more concerned that this father thought it was a good idea to pull out his kids feet from him while the kid was standing in the bathtub. He was trying to explain to the girl that he tried pushing the kid down to the seating position but the kid is really strong. He wanted him to sit and this was the only way… Sure, he could have smashed the kids face into the side of the tub, or worse give the kid a complex / fear of the water having almost drown. But this kid is dirty, red and smelly and the dad needs to start again and get this kid into the tub before the kid grows up afraid of the water because his dad is a partying moron…
What have you guys overheard in public space before?
I’ve always said there is a fine line between being smart and being a smart-ass, and as parents, it is our responsibility to make sure our kids stay on the smart side as much as possible because children usually do not have capability to determine if their smart-ass comment was actually funny, or if it is offensive.
Case in point:
Grandfather to child who has just returned from 2 weeks away at sleepover camp: “How was camp?”
Grandfather: “Did you have a good time?”
Grandfather: “Will you go back next year?”
Grandfather: “How was bus ride home?”
Grandfather: “How long?”
Grandfather: “Oh, did you make any stops along the way?”
Child: “Yes. At stop signs and all red traffic lights…”
I’ve got a great reason why you really need to subscribe to my feed! Some one or some thing has kicked the ass out of my blog and thus the last visible post is from April 2nd, 2015. Rest assured, there are about 10-15 more posts between that time and about 15-20 more before that time which have gone AWOL.
I will find them.
I will post them.
They will reappear in a bunch, and unless you’re likely to scroll back a couple of posts, you might not find these gems, but… If you subscribe to my feed, then you get them all, and you can read them at your leisure.
Oh, and you can subscribe quite easily by following the instructions on the side bar, or at the bottom of this blog depending on where you are reading it.
I was introduced to Casey’s writing through a Canadian Daddy Blog group on Facebook and I was immediately hooked. I like Casey’s posts, I like his outlook on life and I like the way he interacts with the other dads in the group but I really like his lists. :) After seeing one of his lists, I have to run back and adjust or re-do mine.
Please go check out Casey’s blog right now! Read some posts, leave some comments and get to know Casey.
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I don’t even know where to start this gem, from my daughter…
I had cut a watermelon into chunks and was in the process of putting them into Pyrex so I could put them in the fridge when my daughter sauntered over to warm me about the perils of eating watermelon seeds;
Boo: “Daddy, be careful when you eat that watermelon not to eat the purple or the pink seeds”.
Me: “Errr, okay. I won’t eat the purple or the pink seeds”.
Boo: “Remember my other brother, the third one (she only has 2 brother’s)? He ate the pink and purple seeds… The pink ones! And he turned into a watermelon and we all ate him. Do you remember that? I do”.
Boo: “Yeah, I remember him. I miss him, but he tasted good. His name was, ummm, Josh. Yeah. Josh”.
Me: Still laughing.
Boo: “So, yeah, Daddy… Please don’t eat the pink or purple seeds. Think of poor Josh”.