Stuff…


STUFF

When you type this into your iphone email: “I’ll let you knowcloser to the date”, your phone automatically corrects it to this: “I’ll let you know loser…”

That’s a good typo to catch!

Speaking of auto-correct… I like typing the word “Oy”, as in “Oy Vey”, but everytime I type “Oy”, it gets corrected to “it”.  I really need to figure out the override on this thing, eh?

……..

I’ve become folic-ly challenged – not surprising since I’ve heard that your hairline is determined by your mother’s father’s hairline and my grandfather was bald for as long as I can remember.

Long lost are the days of the mullet, and the crazy dark black, wavy hair. My kids never got to see that hair, but my oldest son, Linus, inserted this comment into a discussion about my hair recently:

“You’re a little bald like the ocean is a little wet!”

After realizing my mouth was wide open – not because I was upset at all – but because I was amazed and impressed with the analogy.  He’s awesome!

…….

 

A couple of weeks ago there was a Toronto Police officer in his cool grey police car sitting at the end of the street where my daughter attends school because there are a whole bunch of cars who go the wrong way on this one way street.

In typical Toronto police fashion, the officer was talking to everyone who passed by, offered to answer questions and in typical Boo fashion my daughter was dying to meet the officer. After a quick meet and greet he let her sit in the car (in the front, not the back) and she was just beaming.

She wanted to take the car for a spin which he wisely declined…

There is no better way to remind children that the police are here to “Serve and Protect” than through public relations like that, unless you count last night when two mounted officers walked by our house and stopped when my kids came flying out of the house to say hello.

The officers spent a good 5-minutes with the kids, talked about safety in the area and my kids explained how their presence slowed down the traffic on our street especially at a particular stop sign close to our house where 90% of the cars barely do a rolling stop.

We also learned that apples can kill horses and that horses love carrots!

Who knew?!?

It was also the closest I’ve ever been to a horse and those babies are massive!

The mounted unit sitting on top of those horses are very intimidating to say the least, but the horses alone do that job!

Toronto’s Cops are Tops!

 

 

I think the couple behind me are breaking up… Or trying to hook up… I can’t tell anymore…


I’m working in the Starbucks this morning and I cannot help but overhear the discussion behind me because the couple are really loud and seem to forget that they are sitting in a Starbucks.  At first, I thought they were breaking up, then I thought they were hooking up, but now I really have no idea what is going on and, to be honest, neither do they!

Here are some highlights of this loud and public conversation;

Him:

  • Oh, you’re taking advice from him?  Of all the guys I’ve wanted to beat up for looking at you, he is at the top of my list.
  • You’re dressed like you run drugs
  • Look at yourself… Don’t you have any shame?
  • I’ve gotten over you twice.
  • I’m going up north for a week of total partying.  Nothing else.  You’re not invited.
  • Between last week and this week I made a lot of plans with people and they all fell through so I need to make plans about how to make better plans so they won’t fall through.

Then his side gets kind of weird and awkward…

  • These plans that fell through messed up my son, because, he needs to nap and stuff… He overheated, had sand in his ass and stuff
  • My son hates water ever since I pulled his feet out from under him and he went under the water… He hated that.
  • He won’t even bathe.
  • He must have a red ass, or stuff that he doesn’t want cleaned.
  • He’s cried in the bath every time for months…

Yikes!

 

Since he did most of the talking…

Her:

  • We should go dancing!
  • Why?
  • Oh, I hope he’s okay.
  • You’re not supposed to do that to kids
  • You have to clean him up
  • Where will he be while you are partying?
  • Can I come with instead?
  • I’m not running drugs.  I’m not a whore.  I like the way I look.  Look at you?  You’re in a Starbucks looking like that… Eww.
  • Oh yeah?
  • Can we get out of here?

And off they went… Together.

The guys at the table beside me started to clap and said that would make for a great soap opera.

I’m more concerned that this father thought it was a good idea to pull out his kids feet from him while the kid was standing in the bathtub.  He was trying to explain to the girl that he tried pushing the kid down to the seating position but the kid is really strong.  He wanted him to sit and this was the only way… Sure, he could have smashed the kids face into the side of the tub, or worse give the kid a complex / fear of the water having almost drown.  But this kid is dirty, red and smelly and the dad needs to start again and get this kid into the tub before the kid grows up afraid of the water because his dad is a partying moron…

What have you guys overheard in public space before?

There is a Fine Line Between Smart and Smart-ass…


I’ve always said there is a fine line between being smart and being a smart-ass, and as parents, it is our responsibility to make sure our kids stay on the smart side as much as possible because children usually do not have capability to determine if their smart-ass comment was actually funny, or if it is offensive.

Case in point:TUD Header

Grandfather to child who has just returned from 2 weeks away at sleepover camp: “How was camp?”

Child: “Good”.

Grandfather: “Did you have a good time?”

Child: “Yes”.

Grandfather: “Will you go back next year?”

Child: “Yes.”

Grandfather: “How was bus ride home?”

Child: “Long”

Grandfather: “How long?”

Child: “4-hours.”

Grandfather: “Oh, did you make any stops along the way?”

Child: “Yes. At stop signs and all red traffic lights…”

BAM!

Why You Should Subscribe to My Feed!


I’ve got a great reason why you really need to subscribe to my feed!  Some one or some thing has kicked the ass out of my blog and thus the last visible post is from April 2nd, 2015.  Rest assured, there are about 10-15 more posts between that time and about 15-20 more before that time which have gone AWOL.

I will find them.

I will post them.

They will reappear in a bunch, and unless you’re likely to scroll back a couple of posts, you might not find these gems, but… If you subscribe to my feed, then you get them all, and you can read them at your leisure.

Point made!

Oh, and you can subscribe quite easily by following the instructions on the side bar, or at the bottom of this blog depending on where you are reading it.

Thank you again for your support!

Warren aka The Urban Daddy.

Nowhere To Go But Up: ESPN Ranks The Toronto Maple Leafs the worst sports franchise in North America


ESPN The Magazine has released its “Ultimate Standings” for 2014, ranking sports franchises in Major League Baseball (MLB), The National Basketball Association (NBA), the National Football League (NFL) and the National Hockey League (NHL) according to a variety of categories and in a couple of them, the Toronto Maple Leafs ranked dead last at 122, and fared poorly in most of the rest of them.  Great.

To come up with these rankings, ESPN took the following steps:

First: Consulting firm Maddock Douglas surveyed 1,002 North American fans to form 25 criteria for what you want most in return for the emotion, money and time you invest in the 122 MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL teams.

Second: Teaming with NetReflector, an opinion research firm, ESPN.com asked fans to rate their home teams in each area and more than 101,000 did.  They grouped grades into the categories listed below.

Third: In order to determine the “Bank for the Buck” calculation, ESPN.com used calculations developed with Oregon’s Warsaw Sports Marketing Center to figure how well teams turn fans’ money into wins.  Then they combined each team’s score across all categories into a weighted average.

The Categories, plus the highest ranked team and the lowest ranked team.

Affordability
Price of tickets, parking and concessions
1. Memphis Grizzlies (NBA)
122.  Toronto Maple Leafs (NHL)

Coaching:
Strength of on-field leadership
1. San Antonio Spurs (NBA)
122. Florida Panthers (NHL)

Fan Relations
Courtesy by players, coaches and front offices toward fans, and how well a team uses technology to reach them
1. San Antonio Spurs
122. New York Knicks

Ownership
Honesty; loyalty to core players and the community
1. San Antonio Spurs
122. Florida Marlins (MLB)

Players
Effort on the field, likability off it
1. San Antonio Spurs
122. NY Knicks

Stadium experience
Quality of venue; fan-friendliness of environment; frequency of game-day promotions
1. San Francisco Giants (MLB)
122. NY Islanders (NHL)

Bang for the Buck
Wins in the past year, per fan dollars
1. Indiana Pacers (NBA)
122. Toronto Maple Leafs

Title track
Championships won or expected within the lifetime of current fans
1. St. Louis Cardinals (MLB)
122. Minnesota Timberwolves (NBA)

A review of the ESPN website revealed that The Leafs fared poorly in every category. They placed last in both bang for the buck and affordability; second-last in title track; in the bottom 10 in fan relations, players and coaching; and 105th and 109th in ownership and stadium experience, respectively.

Possibly because this was done by ESPN and the majority of the respondents came from the US, all Canadian teams fared poorly in their rankings with the exception of the Montreal Canadians who appeared in the top half of the list. Here are the rest of the seven teams’ rankings at 55 out of 122.

The other Canadian teams ranked as follows;

Toronto Raptors – 74

Toronto Blue Jays – 81

Calgary Flames — 89

Ottawa Senators — 92

Winnipeg Jets — 97

Vancouver Canucks — 112

Edmonton Oilers — 115

 

The last 2 teams were the New York Knicks at 121 and the Toronto Maple Leafs at 122.

At least at last there is nowhere to go but up.  At 121, the Knicks could drop.