Posted in family

Stuff Stewie Said This Weekend: Random Comments of a 5-Year-Old Boy


Just wanted to post the 5 best comments thrown out by our 5-year-old boy Stewie this weekend;

1) We went to karate this morning however it was closed for a friendship tournament.  When I suggested we grab me a coffee and get a car wash, Stewie blurted this out; “Will Mummy be terrified when we come home early”.

“Terrified”.

LOL.

“Not exactly”, I told him.  “Surprised, maybe, but certainly not terrified”.

2)  On our way to get that coffee and car wash, we passed a house being torn down and from our view on the street we could see that much of the house had been taken down and that a big chunk of the roof was still there.  Stewie had this comment;

“Man, if I lived that the roof of that house and the rest of the house was being torn down, I would not be happy”.

To which I replied, “I would not be happy either”.

3) Last night before bed, Stewie stormed out of our bedroom, into his room where he slammed his door and was VERY upset.

Why?

He wanted a band-aid for a cut on his hand.

He wanted to use a panty liner for the band-aid.

After being told by my wife, his mother, that these were not band-aids, he got very upset, saying yes they are, until he got fed up and stormed away.

Note to self:  Make sure he doesn’t use one as a band-aid going forward – and that it is not a school day!

4)  In the car on Saturday heading up to the cottage, Stewie blurted out this wisdom; “Do you know what the biggest thing on the earth is?”

“The earth”.

… and lastly;

5) As we were on our way to get our plum tree from Home depot to take to the cottage, a cyclist passed up on the street.  He was cycling with no hands on the handle bars, he had headphones on, no helmet and was looking around – clearly because he could not hear the traffic.

I said; “Man, that is a dangerous way to ride a bike!  No helmet, headphones and no hands.  This guy is dangerous.”

Stewie then said; “You know what is more dangerous that this cyclist?  Riding without a helmet, with headphones on, no hands and doing arts and crafts!  That is way more dangerous.”

“Yes.  Yes it is, Stewie.”

 

Stewie sometimes gets his thoughts tweeted @littleboypurple whenever my wife remembers to.

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Posted in Being Jewish in Toronto, Berry, family, Life, Stewie

Are you hungrier than a 5-year-old?


Are you hungrier than a 5-year-old?

I doubt you are hungrier than my 5-year-old!

Let me preface this by saying when we moved 2 years ago into our new house the first thing we did was re-do part of the kitchen to allow for a much bigger fridge for Stewie.  The fridge that came with the house was not going to be enough for the 6 of us (Me, Urban Mummy, Linus, Stewie, Berry and our Nanny – let’s call her “Gamay”), but we were most concerned about Stewie!  This boy can eat and he’s only 5.  He’ll eat us out of house and home by the time he is 13-years-old.

For example, in the car on our way up to T&T grocery in the Promenade Mall in lovely Thornhill, Ontario on the weekend Ms. Urban Daddy was engaging the children, asking them what they wanted to be when they grew up when Stewie bubbled up and asked if there were going to be “samples” at T&T?  His mind is almost always on food.

As an aside, if you have never been to a T&T grocery store, you must go there!  There is a location in the Promenade Mall in Thornhill. and one on Cherry beach in downtown Toronto.  T&T is owned by Loblaws and they carry Asian foods.  Our children love T&T because of the samples they give out during the day and for the fresh dim sum and sushi they make which we pretty much always buy and eat for lunch or afternoon snack.

When the kids hear T&T they know they’re going to eat while we shop and since the samples are of things we hope our kids will want to eat, like tofu, fish balls, dumplings, and many other unique items we would never think to include in our very healthy diet.

Instead of buying a product, like fish balls, for example and experimenting at home, the kids can give thumbs up and thumbs down to them on the spot and if they like it and will eat it, we can buy it.  It makes a lot of sense and is a great way to expand any child’s food options.

The sample stations at T&T are usually manned and the kids know to ask nicely and in return they are given one sample to try unless there are different flavours and they want to try them too.  I won’t let them try coffee, or sweets or anything we will not purchase – like pork products – but we have tried some pretty crazy samples over the years.

The one sample per station rule works for everyone except Stewie – who already at 5 eats more in a meal that his 5 foot 11, 230 pound father (me).  At the store he tries pretty much everything and if he likes it – and if the food station is unmanned, he’ll eat and eat and eat until someone catches him.  He always uses a new toothpick, he’s a bit of a clean freak that way, and he’s not a pig eating everything he just casually takes another, then another with a giant smile on his face.  Free food!

That penchant for eating reminded me of our last cruise.

The last cruise we went on, when the off shore excursion was to the cruise lines private island, we got up, ate a huge breakfast, then hopped on the tender to the island.  By 9am we were baking in the hot sun, playing in the sand with the shells and laying on a raft.letting the tide take us away, when out of nowhere, Stewie started to get VERY agitated.

It was not just past 10:30am and the anger turned to frustration, which turned to tears.

We brought him back to the beach chair and spoke with him about what was bothering him.  The sun?  The heat?  The sand?

It was none of those.

He was hungry.

Fortunately, the cruise ship was setting up a lunch buffet on the island and were almost done getting it ready, so Ms. Urban Mummy walked over and came back with some fruit, some veggies and some water.

But Stewie did not want any of that…

So all of us walked over to the buffet and immediately, Stewie saw what he wanted.

“I want a burger!” he proclaimed.

“At 10:30am?” I questioned.

“Yes!  I want a burger!!!” he said, with his voice borderline agitated, frustrated and again close to tears.

“Okay” we said and by 10:45am after a huge breakfast 2 hours earlier, Stewie was eating a burger.  We could see his demeanor changing as he was eating it.  There were some blood sugar levels dipping here.  But good little Stewie was not done with his first burger… He needed a second one, which he ate quite happily if my memory serves me correctly.  He was still 4-years-old at this time, too.

Then after being burned to a crisp, we headed back to the ship for nap time for Stewie and Berry at which point, Stewie started to put up a stink as he was, “hungry”.

So I took him upstairs to the buffet and we sat at he ate yet more food.

Man can that kid pack away the food.

I should have seen this coming.  This is the same kid who at about 1 1/2 years old was sitting in his high chair at a family resort just north of Toronto eating a meal – soup I believe – and very slowly, when the waitress came and took away the inch left in his bowl.  He did NOT like this and spent the rest of the week with his head on a swivel and every time a waitress walked near the table – ours or others – and he would wag his pointer finger and say, “Never , ever, ever take Stewie’s food away”.

Possessive a little?

His behaviour there came to light in his little sister last week when we at dinner at Safari on Avenue Road in Toronto, when 2-year-old Berry needed to go pee.  She looked back at the table and said, “don’t touch my food”, “don’t let anyone take my food”, “I’m still eating”. and she kept mumbling “I’m still eating” over and over again as she walked to the bathroom.  When she returned and her food was still there, she smiled and with a look of relief on her face, she said, “Oh!  My food is still here.  I came back, and my food is still here!”.

But back to Stewie… There was the time we went to St. Thomas, Ontario to see and take a ride on Thomas the Tank Engine and Stewie was probably 3-years-old.  After a full day of fun we went out for dinner to – of course – the Mandarin Restaurant.  After eating a pretty large meal, matching me plate for plate, I went to get a soup to wind down my meal and with that soup I grabbed 2 teriyaki shrimp to eat.

Stewie finishing his second bowl of soup too, turned to me nd said, “I want shrimp!”.

How did he know what shrimp were?

Okay, so I went back to the buffet and brought him back 2 peeled shrimp.  He stuffed them in his mouth so fast, Urban Mummy couldn’t take a picture of him eating them.

He finished and asked for more.

After bringing him another 10 shrimps, we were laughing as were the elderly couple sitting beside us watching how much food this boy has packed away.  Figuring he should stop before he explodes, I brought him teriyaki shrimp instead but he loved those too.

So fast forward now, and we’re all finished eating, when Stewie after finishing his 32nd shrimp declares that he is full.

We gasp, and pack up the family feeling sorry for the Mandarin who made money on the few noodles that Linus ate but lost a ton of the massive amounts of food that my skinny 3-year-old just hoovered back.

That trait remains to this day.

Just last week Urban Mummy made mini-pizza’s for the family.  5 small ones for Linus and Berry to split, 3 for her, 3 for me and 3 for Stewie.  She ate 1 and a half. I managed to eat 2 – but probably should have stopped at 1 and a half as well, while Stewie ate all three and needed a snack before bed.

And yes, we have had him tested for worms.

He’s fine.

He’s hungry.

He’s a growing boy!

Posted in Life

Ah, those kids and the things they say… Was I this clever / funny as a kid? I doubt it.


If I still had a smart phone I would be able to pull off to the side of the road whenever my kids say something funny or clever and tweet it right away, however until that happens again, I’m stuck making notes on pieces of paper then throwing them into a blog post entitled something like this one.

Here is the driving force behind this post;

In the car on our way up North this past weekend Ms. Urban Daddy asked the children the following question; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Linus responded first; “I want to be a policeman!”.

Stewie responded next; “I want to be everything!”.  His justification was that if he did everything then he could do what he really liked the most and he would make a LOT of money and be famous.

I guess being “Stewie” on this successful, top-rated Canadian daddy blog is not enough. 

Dream big, little man!

Berry, the youngest and last to respond said; “I want to be a poo” at which point the three kids burst into giggles.  Nice!  Corrupt the poor little girl.

Let the record show I’m not surprised by the boys’ choices, however I have higher expectations for my princess…

 —————————————————

I also caught Stewie later that day calling his older brother a “Stupid ass”.

—————————————————-

Poor Berry has decided she no longer likes to pee.  Not sure if something hurts or not – I asked her a couple days ago if it hurt to pee and she said yes, it did, and when I asked he to touch where it hurt she touched he right elbow.

“Your right elbow hurts when you pee?” I asked her

“Yes!” she replied.  “I hurt myself”.

Not taking that to be the only ailment, my wife took her to the doctor later that week and in the testing for symptoms, the doctor thought it would be a good idea of little Berry pee’d in the cup so they could check her urine.  While that test was negative, we’re still wondering what’s going on with her, physical or psychological.

I received the update on the doctor’s appointment from mummy and baby – with some prompting from mummy to recall the details.

“I went to the Doctor, Daddy!” 

“I pee’d on the doctor, Daddy”

In response to how did you get upstairs to the doctor’s office, she blurted out this;

“I went in the alligator”.

Such a proud little girl.

I would have pee’d on the doctor too if my mummy made me ride in an alligator to get there.

 

Posted in family, Life

Thoughts and musings of a run-down daddy, after a weekend of unpacking and organizing


In today’s post, I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I’ve been out of it lately, under the weather for most of the month of June with a nasty sinus infection and now feeling very run down.

I was chatting with my wife and she recalled how she was always the one getting sick and I was the healthy one, but recently it’s been the complete opposite. I don’t like being sick. Not sure people “like” being sick, but I detest it!

So in order to get back on track I am taking a few draft posts and throwing them into this one big post to get this stuff off my back and into my blog.

Here are my random thoughts for the past week…

(Monday) I’m not sure if I can drink my large double, double from Tim Horton’s so long as they have a picture of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats logo on it. Double Blue, man!!!

(Weekend) So LeBron James speaks… First he holds a press conference and tells the world how great he is – in the middle of prime time TV slot, with the interview taking place in a boys and girls club.

Then he shuns his former team by saying how much he did for them.

I’m thinking he’s the biggest asshole in the world.

Then…

He goes on Larry King live – interviewed in the courtyard of his palatial estate in front of the waterfall, and tells Larry how great he is.

I’m thinking, now I know he’s an asshole.

Then…

He talks about his mom. Having him when she was 16 and how he doesn’t know how she did it, and that everything he does is for her.

Awwww.

While I still want the Heat to lose every game, I’m softening my stance on the whole LBJ thing.

I’m also softening my stance on the collusion aspect where other league execs are calling on the NBA to investigate how the Heat could re-sign Wade, and sigh Bosh and James.

I mean come on. The Heat must have arranged this over a year ago for the Heat to draw up and execute their plan to dump contracts and make room for these guys. If Bosh, Wade and James go elsewhere, the Heat have 4 guys signed for the 2010/2011 campaign.

While that did seem suspicious, the Knicks and Nets pretty much did the same thing. I’m also sure the Bulls had room.

But how much would I have laughed if LBJ announced that he was joining the Toronto Raptors… We have a monarchy in Canada, so “King James” could have met Queen Elizabeth who is on tour right now in Toronto.

(Tuesday) If you help someone get their career started, what do they owe you, if anything?

(Sunday) So I’m coaching both my boys soccer teams and after the first games end the convener / referee comes to me and tells me that each kid on the team requires shin pads and soccer cleats or they cannot play.

Hmmmm…

My kids don’t have those…

So last night before bed, I take out my sons soccer uniform (my 3-year-old plays on Brazil, the 5-year-old on Portugal) when my 5-year-old tells me to put the uniform back in the drawer because he cannot play.

“Why?”, I ask…

“Because I don’t have soccer shoes”, he replies.

DAMN!!!!
DAMN!!!
DAMN!!
DAMN!
DAMN

So off I run on Monday looking for them. Wal-Mart, nope. National Sports, nope. Canadian Tire… BINGO.

But I don’t know what size the boys wear so I bought sizes 11, 12 and 13.

OY. I guarantee one of the kids will completely melt-down upon trying on their cleats or shin pads…

Update: Linus completely melted-down last night. Then, once I got him calm enough to play and stop holding hands of the female coach, he was dilly-dallying on the field, not paying attention to the ball or the play and the referee stepped on his ankle sending him wailing to the sidelines. Real big tears flying off his face. At first I thought we was just selling it in order to not have to play but once we got home and he took off his sock, I saw a scratch. Poor kid.

Posted in family

Out of the mouths of babes


My 5 year old had a play date this afternoon with his “silly friend”, a girl from his class.

Just yesterday he told me that he did not want to go to grade one next year, “It’s too much work / too much writing”, he said.  Instead he wanted to be a “general manager”. 

“Where?” I asked him.

“In your work, Daddy”, he replied.

LOL.

But today when I asked him the same question, he had a different answer for my wife and I.

Today he said, “I may change my mind as I get older, and one day I would like to live in the same house with my classmate / playfriend, and we will work together”.

Maybe this will work out after all… He had zero interest in hockey. Told me that when he was three. “Daddy, I don’t like hockey”… But this silly friend of his plays hockey so now he is suddenly interested. He even now knows who Sidney Crosby is.

And… When it comes to rooting for a team he now knows to root for the Canada Leafs (Toronto), and in the past he liked the team that wore red, and Buffalo, NY and NJ because he had been there, and he liked Florida because Disney is there, Ottawa because a classmake moved there and Montreal because his best friend’s grandmother lives there.