Thursday 13 – 13 Things You WILL Be Talking About Today.


It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure to compile such a list, but here are the 13 Things you WILL be talking about today (and tomorrow, etc)

  1. You know you’re a Dad when… Breakfast on my way to a meeting this morning was: a handful of stale pretzels, a handful of peanuts, a Clementine orange and a container of 1-day-old cucumber slices.

  2. Not busy enough on Twitter, US President Donald Trump is stirring up the debate on abortion with his fellow males.  Donald, in less that 140 characters, I want to tell you this, “Stay out of my uterus!”

  3. Scientists – and I love me some science – are going to make tomatoes taste delicious again!  YAY.  For those of you who have been reading The Urban Daddy for a long-time, you will remember that I love gardening and my favourite thing to grow… Tomatoes!  http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/scientists-make-tomatoes-great-again-1.3953185

  4. The “Doomsday clock” has moved to 11:58pm for the first time since like 1954.  This means nothing to me, to be honest, and I didn’t even like the cartoon Doonsbury, so there!

5. GM is cutting 800 Canadian jobs and moving them to Mexico… Damn.  I hope Trump doesn’t hear that.  In retaliation, Canada has agreed to build a wall between Canada and Mexico.  Damn you capitalism!!!

6. I don’t know where you live, but here in Toronto where we need road tolls to keep the 905’ers out (see wall building), we have pot holes the size of, well, Mexico.  One such pot hole cost my wife her front tire and rim.  Damn you Mexico!

  1. Mary Tyler Moore passed away, and after being reacquainted with her show recently I came to realize that her TV feminism was inspiring and much needed.  She will be missed.

  2. The Toronto Maple Leafs do not stink… Am I dead???

9. I read somewhere that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s mother had met the Donald (see President Trump earlier) back in the 70’s.  I thought the writer was trying to convince us that Donald Trump was his father, and when I told this to someone, they said, “Trump?  No.  Castro, yes!  They even look alike!!”  What?!?

  1. New expression in The Urban Daddy dictionary; “Playing your trump card”  Means saying whatever it takes to get what you want.  Truth, lies, half-truths… whatever!

  2. Trumpanomics.  Putting America first.  Hopefully Canada second. Could change direction at a moments Tweet and may or may not be accurate or true… Nobody knows…

  3. 2 hours before turning over reigns of the US to Trump, Former President Obama sent $221 million dollars to the Palestinian authority.  It would be a shame if that money was not used to build infrastructure and was used by the “leadership” to acquire weapons, build tunnels or for their pockets.  If you want your own state, start acting like responsible leaders and put your people first!  As for Obama… Not cool!

  4. One week of President Trump and here is what we know:  Torture good, Mexico bad.  Jobs good, jobs from tourists in Islamic countries bad. Woman bad. Free Trade bad. The Apprentice good. Climate change – fake.  Vaccinations – fake.

  5. (It’s my Trump calculations…) Tim Horton’s is opening up in… Gulp… Mexico.  Don’t tell Trump.  He’ll kick the coffee company out of the US.  Or, those in the southern US will need a really long straw to sip those yummy Timmy’s beverages.

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Things Torontonians (and you) Need To Do Now That The Snow Has Arrived.


Ah, a snowy Thursday in Toronto, our second such day this year, and with winter not officially here until December 21st, I always worry that even in areas where there is a lot of snow people forget to apply common sense in many different areas of their lives when snow stays on the ground.

So today is the perfect day for me, to educate you, on the 13 Things You Need To Do Now That The Snow Has Arrived.

Let’s start with #1 because it’s the most important and the City of Toronto By-Laws and Chapter 719 of the Municipal Code lay it all out there for you.

1.  Make sure that you have cleared the sidewalk in front of your house!  According to City By-laws you have 12 hours from the last snowflake to remove the snow and / or ice from the sidewalk in front, behind or beside your property.

2.  Failure to remove snow and / or ice can result in a fine of up to $5000 under the Provincial Offences Act.

3.  Anyone – strangers, neighbours, government workers, can call 311 to notify them if your snow and / or ice is not removed within 12 hours after a snowfall.

4.  Thinking about clearing your snow onto the street?  DON’T!  Besides the obvious fact that it make driving that much more dangerous, it’s against the by-laws and you can be fined for doing this.  Plus, it’s fairly obvious when your lawn (which loves the water in the spring) is flat the snow in the street in front of your house is densely packed compared to others.

5.  If the City of Toronto has to send someone out to shovel or salt your sidewalk, you will be charged a fee for this “service: and if you do not pay it, it will be added to your property taxes.

6.  Starting this year – 2014 – the City of Toronto is paying special attention to those mounds of snow you pile at the curb in front of your house because as the weather changes they pose a safety concern regarding visibility, and drivers trying to avoid them.  Plus, by the mere fact that they are on the street means you are in violation of Section 719-5 of the Municipal Code.  By-law officers might force you to remove it at your own expense or fine you.

7.  Clean off your car before you  drive it!  All windows, the front and tail lights are essential to ensure you have complete visibility.  The majority of vehicle – pedestrian accidents in the winter occur when drivers cannot fully see out of their windows and bump into people crossing the street.

8.  I know it’s a pain in the butt for many of you, but you really do need to come to a full and complete stop at all traffic crossings when there is snow.  Besides being the law, and potentially dangerous if you do not, by rolling through stops, or around corners you also run the risk of having to brake suddenly and sliding or spinning out of control, or worse, stopping only to have the car behind you slam into you, and then for you to hit someone as a result.

9.  Signal.  I prefer to refer to the turn signal as an “indicator” because while it may be law to signal before you turn, it’s nice and kind to indicate to other drivers what you intend to do with your vehicle.  This is especially important if you are one of “those” drivers who do not feel the need to stop at every intersection as indicating your intentions keeps pedestrians safe and the cars around you less likely to want to roll down their windows and throw a snowball at your car.

10.  Be extra courteous to those around you who are walking when you are driving.  They are dealing with un-cleared sidewalks, and cold, or wind, plus heavy clothing and usually something in their hands.  The LAST thing they need to do is wonder whether that car is a) going to stop, b) sees them c) start to proceed before they finish crossing the street.

  1. If you hired a ploughing service to clean your driveway, make sure they are not falling out of favour with your neighbours or with the City by-laws.

  2. Think about others!  If your neighbour shovels your sidewalk when it snows, it might not be a smart idea to only shovel your piece of sidewalk when you are doing yours.  Even if you are in a rush, make an effort to go a little onto their side, they’ll understand.  But to put up that snow barrier while their side is still covered and yours is clean is a message to that neighbour that you are only thinking about yourself.  Is that what you want them thinking?  I’ve always said that it is better to accept the help of your neighbour than criticize them for where they put your snow, that you should have moved!

13.  Put a smile on your face and be nice to others!  Say hello to neighbours, strangers and passers by.

Thursday Thirteen: Taken from my July 6th, 2006 post


Back on July 6th, 2006 I had some really great stuff to share with my 6 followers, namely Thirteen Healthy Things you Can Do For Yourself Today.

I obviously did not follow any of this information.  😦

Here is the list. 

  1. Go for a nice walk
    2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water
    3. Take long deep breaths to relax
    4. Don’t piss off your significant other <— I really like this one.  🙂
    5. Spend productive time with your children (or immature friends if you have none, :))
    6. Lift some soup cans and wave them around like you are lifting weights
    7. Call someone who likes to hear from you (Is that like “Call your mother.  She cares?!?”)
    8. Get a good nights sleep
    9. Take a nice relaxing bath and read a book
    10. Call your Mom. She worries. <— I knew it!
    11. Complete a task that has been bugging you for a long time
    12. Stretch – something. Anything.
    13. Since you are reading this, you should post a response, then go to your inbox and clear out a bunch of messages.

Sleep tight.

13 Sightly Obscure Things my Children Will NEVER Understand (Besides Us)


Really, this list could be exhaustive.

There are tons of things that my children won’t understand because if it was a technology it became obsolete, or a TV show that got cancelled, or a commercial that ran it’s course. But this list came to me in about 10 minutes, so it’s a peek into my brain to see what the heck I am thinking about at various times during the day.

And please, based on #13, do NOT judge me. LOL. Here are 13 obscure things my kids will never understand.

  1. Use of the term “Fire Crotch”

  2. What an audio tape is and why on earth we would ever need one.

  3. What a Black and White TV is, and what “snow” means

  4. “Where’s the Beef”

  5. Al Capone’s vault

  6. Life before cell phones / pagers

  7. Encyclopaedias

  8. Playing outside for hours on end without a parent present

  9. VCR’s

  10. Typewriters.

  11. How a record plays – the speeds, the need to keep them clean

  12. Making plans to meet someone, somewhere and having to do all of that without having a cell phone handy to text or call them to confirm their location, etc.

  13. How to use the telephone properly!

Alright…

We can teach them that.

 

The real number 1. A Stanley Cup in Toronto!

or

Houses before alarms.

or

Dial-up modems.

or

Drive-in’s.

or

Watching whatever was on TV on the 30 stations provided.  Especially for sports, there was no choice and no selection.

I could go on.

Thursday Thirteen: The Urban Daddy Ponders His Usefulness


The absolute best trait a person with ADD-like symptoms possesses is the ability to think about 45 different things over the course of one full minute.

Since today is Thursday, I’d like to put together 13 items that have crossed my mind in the past 13 minutes – many of course coming as a result of something one of my children has said to me, about me, recently when he questioned my (in)ability to help his with his homework.

  1. On the weekend my son needed help with a project for his math enrichment class. I wanted him to at least try it before asking for help, but I knew that he was hungry and when he’s hungry he is helluva cranky. Not realizing that his crankiness was meant for his mother whom he wanted to work with, my offer of help generated this reply from him; “I DON’T want your help! You’re useless!!”

This lead to #12.

  1. Being called “useless” by a 7-year-old child with low blood sugar is hilarious. I didn’t want to help him anyways! It’s the weekend and I have other things to do… Even things for (gasp) me!

Then I started thinking… See #11.

  1. Then as I set out looking to help one of my other children with schoolwork, I started to think about what my son called me when I came to the conclusion he’s off base. I’m 43-years-old. I’m married. I’m a great dad. I have 3 children, and have 3-years of accounting qualifications under my belt, plus a MBA which I earned while that child was a baby sleeping only 2-3 hours at a time for almost the first year of his life! I am far from useless.

Or…

  1. They say (and I don’t know who “they” are or if this even counts as a fact) that if you can question whether you are “crazy” then you must not be “crazy”. Granted terminology is terrible, but what if I’ve been telling myself that I am useful all these years but in the eyes of my kids, I’m already a dinosaur incapable of helping out wit Grade 2 math… Maybe I do belong in the museum of life.

  2. Or… If I was subconsciously pulling a fast one on my kids to get out of having to help them with their math. I mean when I was growing up and my family decided that I needed to help make lunches before bed, I sabotaged their lunches and was never asked to help out again.

  3. But after a hug from mummy and a handful of grapes, I could hear the cries for “DADDY!!!” from the child who actually needed my help… I think.

  4. I made him apologize. I didn’t need it, but I wanted him to get used to saying sorry. It’s not easy for everyone to say but it’s powerful and liberating to clear your conscience.

  5. Even at 7-years-old, children do not like to be forced to apologize, yet when they know they need help and you are their only option, you get the short, unemotional, “sorry”.

  6. Then we got down to business, and after 2-hours or being creative and cutting, solving, gluing and decorating this project, the light-bulb went on in both of our heads.

  7. It had become my project and it had to be good. Really good.

  8. Daddy was doing his project and it was looking good… Really good.

  9. I stepped back and said to him, “Hey man! It’s your project, not mine. We’re going to do whatever you want to do. Please don’t let me take over or tell you what to put where I think it goes. It’s all yours (and in the back of my mind, while he’s staring at this piece of art, I know he’s thinking it’s awesome and I’m thinking – still think I’m useless?)

  10. He takes over. He colours, aligns, decorates, fixes, alters, and adjusts the project and now it’s ALL his. It’s amazing,

He turns to me with his eyes wide as saucers and says; “I love you Daddy!”

Totally worth it!