Posted in Canada, Coffee, Daddy, family, Life, Parenting, The Urban Daddy, Toronto, urbandaddyblog

Dads / Moms… Is it just me?


This is a question for the Dads and Moms out there in cyberspace.  Is it just me, or is it necessary to identify yourself as a parent when you approach another father / mother with small kids and offer assistance?

This morning, for example, I’m waiting for a client in my local Starbucks and it’s fairly busy in the store when in walks a mother carrying a baby in the bucket car seat in one hand and holding hands with a toddler in the other hand.

She orders her coffee, buys her daughter a treat and then finds the only open table which has one chair placed beneath it.  She places the bucket on the table, and sits her daughter in the chair.

Seeing this, I know that there is a bit of space at the large rectangle table in the back and I could totally go there to work, so I get up, and offer her my chair.

She politely denies.

Then I start thinking… I’m in my 40’s, and what’s left of my hair is pretty grey, I’m in a grey suit, and I don’t wear my wedding band because it doesn’t fit my finger (hello 1st child 25lb weight gain – 13 years ago) so maybe she politely declines because I’m a creepy guy offering her a seat.

Then I remember that creeps don’t wear suits.

Work with me here…

So I tell her it’s okay, she can have the seat because I’m going to sit in the back.

Then the panic in her eyes leaves, and she says that she appreciates the offer but she’s waiting for her coffee then she’s jetting out of here to a play date.

That told me 2 things;  Firstly, she recognized that I’m a parent too and I totally understand how brave she is with a child in a bucket and a toddler – just leaving the house should be commended.

Secondly, she might not have panicked if I had started with something like this; “Hey, would you like to use my seat? I’ve been there – have 3 of my own – you might be more comfortable, even for a minute, knowing your kids are safe and you can wait comfortably with them.

Or is that worse?

Am I reading too much into this?

Or being approached by a stranger, the default is to reject, not to engage and protect the kiddos.

Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts.

 

Advertisements

Author:

Welcome to The Urban Daddy! This blog, established in 2004, has been written by a not-so-typical Daddy blogger from Toronto, Canada. In June of 2017, we welcomed a Mommy blogger to the fold. Our focus, as always, is on parenting and what it is like being a dad for the 1st,2nd & 3rd time, plus what it's like being the mom of twins! Sleep? Who needs sleep! You can follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheUrbanDaddy. You can follow us on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/urbandaddyblog. We are also on Tumbler, Google+, Pinterest and Instagram. Whew. You don't have to agree with everything we write, but please be kind when commenting. Thank you for coming by, and enjoy your stay!

2 thoughts on “Dads / Moms… Is it just me?

  1. This is funny. But to be honest, I think you are WAY over-thinking this. I am also a former bucket-wielding Starbuck’s-a-holic and standing to stretch out the back was essential. The weight in one arm of the bucket and the other arm is down at your knees to hold a toddler’s hand, and she probably just needed a moment to feel tall and adult.

    Like

    1. Thanks for the comment Kristine, You’re right. I totally forgot about the need to be an adult, and stretch out your back. I totally had back issues when holding one and carrying one.

      Ahhh…. The good old days…

      Like

Please join the discussion!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s