I came across this interesting article from Hireananny.com and while not divorced, I thought there were some interesting points made in this post and wanted to re-post it here. Permission was granted.
The link to the original article is here.
Essentially, this post outlines how nannies help divorced couples ensure their child(ren) don’t get lost during this difficult time of their lives in 5 key ways.
1. Nannies can provide consistency of care.
We all know that with children of all ages it’s the routine that is key. Bedtime routine, homework routine, daily and weekly chores, etc. All of this is crucial to teaching children about consistency so it makes absolute sense how a nanny can help here. By being there during separation and divorce and providing a schedule or routine for the child(ren) this allows the kid(s) to have that consistency while everything around them has changed.
2. Nannies can provide a sense of stability.
I can see where this is also an important unheralded role of a nanny when, as described above, everything in a child’s life is changing and the nanny remains the same. It not only gives the child(ren) a non-partisan sounding board but it helps smooth out the chaos and disruption that ensues until both parental units and settled and have agreed upon the parenting roles going forward.
3. Nannies can advocate for the children.
This point is probably the most important because the role of the nanny is to look after the best interest of the child(ren) regardless of the situation and especially in situations where the parents are not getting along the nanny can step forward and discuss with each party the issues relating to the kid(s) and can also alert the parents of any changes in the child(s) behaviour. The nanny sees the child the most consistently so they would see behaviour issues, social issues, changes in the child’s physical being or any other concerns, milestones or warning signs.
4. Nannies can reassure children that it’s not their fault.
I think this point goes without saying that a nanny can help explain to a child that during the breakup of their parent’s marriage it is NOT the fault of the child. Emotions on the parental unit’s sides may be too high and there may be a lot of finger-pointing and this is exactly the point when children need support and reinforcement telling them it’s not their fault.
5. Nannies can facilitate communication.
I think at this point it goes without saying that if you are separated, or a soon to be divorced parent considering hiring a nanny, it’s important that you select a nanny who is a solid communicator. In addition, a detailed employee contract and agreeable custody schedule shared with the nanny will go a long way towards protecting the child(ren) as much as possible during the unrest.
Hireananny.com also feels that if a parent turns to the nanny as a confidant, while tempting, is not a good idea as it blurs professional lines and may prevent the nanny from doing her job well and jeopardize her ability to always put the child’s best interests first.
- A nanny state as taxman turns on mums (dailytelegraph.com.au)
- Hiring a Nanny in the US: Not an Easy Task. (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)