Monthly Archives: June 2012

Open Letter from a Millennial: Quit Telling Us We’re Not Special… Errr, okay.

Blame Canada

Call them what you want.  Generation Y, the “Me” generation, the entitled generation, spoiled, whiny… All seem to fit, but they are fed up and fighting back.  These “Millennials” take aim at Generation X, the generation before them and blame us for their woes.  They blame us and the boomers for not retiring and hogging all the jobs, for over-parenting them and for heaping false praise on them… Or was that, for under-parenting them and not being happy with anything they did?!?

Either way, they’re angry and they’re looking for someone to blame and that blame is on every generation but theirs.  Expecting free music, free movies, unlimited cell phones, and not willing to actually having to study, work hard and put in some effort to move up in life.  I think this is the ADD generation.  Things come to them in 140 characters, in instant texts and high-speed download and they don’t understand that in business and in life, things just don’t happen that fast.

Try buying a house, then paying it off themselves, or changing a procedure in a large organization… It takes time.

Read the post below and let me know what you think.  Do they have a legitimate reason to be pissed or are they crying in their caviar that we bought for them!

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My children make me laugh and surprise me on a daily basis…

Everything is Terrible!

Everything is Terrible! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Oy, kids.

They say and do enough things on a daily basis to keep me posting for a long time, but not being around them during the week except for a few hours at night, I need to save up their comments until I have enough for a decent post.  Here are a few gems, in my honest opinion.

1) Last week at Linus’ baseball, Stewie and Berry took off to the shade (it was over 40 degrees with the humidity) and were playing in a pseudo sand box with another boy. Stewie thought it was a good idea to play with the broken, upside down bike beside him, and after moving him away from that he had an even better idea;

Stewie: “Hey, let’s pick up these big sticks and make a band!”

Gives sticks to Berry and this boy. Then starts smacking his stick on the bicycle rack hoping it would sound nice.

To the unknown boy; “You are going to hit your stick on the fence while I hit this and Berry is going to hit the bike”.

Boy starts smacking the fence.

Stewie; “Stop. You’re terrible. Stop hitting the fence. you’re not in the band anymore!”

Me: “Stewie!!! You can’t say that to him – no matter if you think its true or not. It’s not nice to tell someone they are terrible”.

Stewie pauses… Thinks… Says; “Okay. You’re not terrible. You’re amazing! but you’re still no longer in the band!”


At dinner 2 nights ago when 3 exhausted kids were getting on each other’s nerves I heard Berry say this to one of her brothers; “Stop! Or I will pee on you!”.


Linus had a rough day at Chess camp this week. School ended last Friday and he really wanted to attend this camp so we signed him and his brother up for Monday and Tuesday.

Well towards the end of Monday some kid punched Linus in the eye. It was the first time he got hit like that, and as a green belt in karate he should have blocked that punch, and that boy is VERY lucky Linus didn’t strike him back.

After this event he was shaken, so we kept them home Tuesday.

I guess he wanted to play Skylanders on our Wii Tuesday and could not figure out how to get it working so he called me at work. It was the first time he had done that, and to be honest, I didn’t think he knew how to use the phone.

I answered, he was very clear, nice and polite on the phone and we walked through how to set up the Wii and during that time I was amazed at how well he was able to follow directions, read and understand the TV settings and navigate through them.

We hung up then I started to think…

How did he get my number?

So when I arrived home at night and after I gave him a monster hug, I asked him how he knew what number to reach me at, at which point in time, he walked over to his bulletin board in the family room and there was my business card.  He said he knew which number to call from there.


So smart.

I predict many calls from him going forward.  :)

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Why this recognition is greatly appreciated.

I was added to the list of 7 new blogs by Dan Bohmer who writes Nine and a Half Hours Ahead as part of him receiving the One Lovely Blog Award.

Dan is a US Soldier overseas in Afghanistan.  He’s a father and he’s been blogging as an outlet in order to share some of his pictures and his thoughts.  I don’t think I have to go into detail about my thoughts on those who enlist in the services and who put their lives on the line to protect our countries.  In my opinion it is probably the most selfless, most courageous, thing one can do and I respect these men and women for doing something I could not do, but would if I had to.

So because Dan left me a note to nominate me and that he enjoys my blog (thank you Dan, the feeling is mutual), I am proudly accepting this award and complying with all the rules.  I also encourage you to check out Dan’s blog.  Read his thoughts, look at his beautiful pictures and enjoy.

The rules:  To post 7 things about myself and then to nominate seven other fantastic, inspiring bloggers:

1. My first online identify was “SpeakEasy” because I thought the concept of a speakeasy was very cool.  When my wife became the “Urban Mummy” it only seemed to make sense that I became the “Urban Daddy”

2. I grew up with a baseball glove on my hand, a baseball cap on my head and a hockey stick nearby, but never played any organized sports until I was 19-years-old.  At 41, I’m still playing!

3.  I started and ran a club in University for left-handed students.  The University subsidized me and provided me an office to use at my leisure and it was massive.

4.  I ran for student council president in my 3rd year of University and lost to some kid named Jian GhomeshiLook him up.  He’s done quite well for himself since that landslide victory.

5.  I was approached to be a regular participant on a TV show as a “Daddy Blogger” but turned it down because at that time it’s not something I could see myself doing.  As I get more comfortable in my skin, the door to something like that slowly opens again…

6.  I’ve been blogging since 2004 and that precedes the site that promotes cool things in big cities and which sells shoes.

7.  Ball-hockey: I once scored a goal on a slapshot from beside my own net.  It was our only goal in a 10-1 loss.  I have played well over 1000 games and have never been in a fight or injured another player on purpose.  I have, however hit someone hard enough that their shoe flew off and went over the boards.  :)

Now for the seven utterly fantastic, must-read, blogs – they are not rank ordered, so the first one listed is not ‘better’ than the seventh one.

For those that I select, I want to reiterate that I completely understand if you do not wish to continue to keep the award chain going.

Just know that I enjoy your blogs!

1. Lazy Photographer;

2. Funny Things Are Everywhere;

3. Edudad;

4.  Luke, I am Your Father;

5. Good, Bad, Wicked;

6. Daddy’s In Charge;

7.  Aiming Low;

So for each of the above 7 blogs named, I am passing along to you the One Lovely Blog Award.  The avatar is below and you can add to your blog if you would like, or you can ignore this and continue writing some amazing posts and taking some incredible pictures.

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Thursday Thirteen – Words that make me snicker in my head

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus...

This is an image of Uranus taken by the spacecraft Voyager 2 in 1986 (Photo credit: Wikipedia). Why is it blue???

I have had this list sitting in my draft folder for almost a year, and I finally filled in the 13 words which make me snicker as if I were still 8-years-old, and sometimes I burst out laughing.

So sit back and enjoy this week’s Thursday Thirteen, and please… No judging!  I can tell if you are.

13. Query – It’s a funny word.  Hey, look at that dude.  He’s tall, in great shape, dressed to the 9’s and his eyebrows are plucked and perfectly shaped.  He’s rough and tough looking but also a little query.  It’s all good.

12. Mandate – When someone in a meeting says it’s time for a “mandate”, I try as hard as I can to focus, not smile, and not look around the room at the other men.  It’s funny only in MY head I tell myself over and over again.

11. Chair – Will you chair the meeting?  Who is the chair?  Why is something I am sitting on leading a meeting?!?

10. Probed – nuff said.  When I need my staff to get to the root of a problem I ask them to “probe” the issue as deep as possible.  (Insert snickers in my head).

9. Mingle – We have friends of the family and their father is a Toronto Police Officer.  When I was a little UrbanPainInTheAss there was a self-defence course and the officer said that if being attacked… Ladies… You need to grab a hold of the attackers “stuff” and squeeze as hard as possible and move your fingers around to create the most pain possible.  That technique to try to crack the nuts she referred to as “mingling”.   So when I’m at a party, I don’t go mingle, I go be social.  :)

8. Aspic – You do that in the privacy of your own house, then wash your hands.

7. Uranus – It’s not just a planet in the solar system, but it’s a great joke that my kids are too young to get.  “Hey, out of curiosity, what colour is Uranus?  Is it hot on Uranus?  How fast does Uranus rotate?”

6. Dictator.  Dick.  Tator —->  Penis.  Potato…. Yup.  Many dictator’s are giant penis potatoes.

5. Foo-Foo-Dust.  My kids made this up but it has to be a word in the Urban Dictionary.  Think of the uses.

4. Shoo-Sha-Lay – Another word created by my kids.  They run their hands up and down their abs in opposite direction saying “Shooshalay.  Shooshalay” while laughing hysterically.

3. Fwoof – The action of lifting up a crumpled up blanket / duvet and making it nice by lifting it off the bed and letting it drop down straight and softly.  My wife came into the marriage with this word and when she asks me to fwoof the duvet so she can sleep better we both still giggle.

2. Snorfle – That disgusting noise people make with their noses that sounds like a combination between a snort and a sniffle.  All I know is I hear it and it makes me cringe.  I feel the only thing worse is the horking sound which precedes the spitting of said nose mucus after.

1.  Urinate.  I know, a lot of silly words, but about 6 months ago when we were watching Grey’s Anatomy there was a tense scene and all of a sudden up pops my wife to go to the bathroom.  I yelled to her as she raced across the room (and I had paused the show); “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re an eight”.  She stuck her head back out the door at me and looked puzzled, when it donned on her and she returned to the bathroom and then back to watch the show.

Normally on a scale of 1 to 10, she’s a 10, but at that moment she was an 8.


Honourable mention: spiromalavitis – it’s a good diagnosis or a disease, so I’ve been told.


What’s your funny or code word?

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What a conversation between a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old sounds like…

We had the pleasure this past weekend to be in the car with our two boys as they decided to have a conversation about death.

Linus is 7-years-old.

Stewie is 5-years-old.

Berry is 2 1/2 years old.

Stewie; “You’re going to die two years before me because you’re two years older than me.”

Linus; “That’s not true. I’m so going to live longer than you, I’m healthier than you.”

Stewie; ” That’s not true. You’re a poo”.

Linus; “I didn’t have any treats yesterday so I’m healthier than you and I’m going to live longer than you”.

Stewie; “You’re still going to die before me.”

Us: “Stop!  No more talk about death, okay!!!”


Stewie on his way to school to his mummy; “Mummy, it would not be fun to be an ant”.



Us to Stewie; “Stewie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Stewie; “Everything!”.


A sign your children watch too much wrestling on TV…

Berry to Linus; “I’m going to chokeslam you.  Go away!!!”


Stewie to me; “Daddy, can you lift the world?”

Me; “No, not today son.”

Him; “Mark Henry can (wrestler formerly the “World’s Strongest Man”)


Stewie to his mummy; “Mummy you can buy a dreydl out of water for Berry cause she’s your daughter.  See, it rhymes… Water.  Daughter”.

Me; “But a dreydl out of water?!?  Really?”

Him; “Oh yeah”.

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