Today’s Thursday Thirteen focuses on 13 really strange search terms which directed people to my blog.
Message to those folks who searched these terms in the first place, in case you come here again, you’ll see that we’re making fun of you. It’s not hard when you see the search terms used.
So let’s get started…
1. “Santa Claus Porn” – Maybe instead of Ho Ho Ho, this person was looking for Hoe Hoe Hoe… In either case, it’s sick. Determined to find their porn,he, or she, has also come to my blog by searching “Santa Clause porn” I guess that is in case Santa changed his name.
2. “Pro Stars cereal” – WOW. I forgot all about this cereal sponsored by Wayne Gretzky. “Toasted Oat taste” was the catch phrase for this yummy cereal. I think they need to bring it back, no?.
3. There were lots of searches directed to my blog including the word “McRib” What I found odd was that people were looking for confirmation that the McRib was not healthy (duh), with such phrases as “is it unhealthy”, “is it poison” and “is it made of pressed brains and butts”… Err, yeah. It’s high in salt and not good for you. There. Don’t be shocked. It’s fast food. Go eat a salad instead.
4. “macginty platform employment” – Errr, the election was last month and it’s McGuinty. He won and he’s still taxing Ontarians because people like you forgot to vote! Sheesh.
5. “Dora the explorer cufflinks”. COOL. I wear cufflinks and my daughter loves Dora. To bad she doesn’t wear them…
6. “Daddy Detox” – it’s call wing night, folks.
7. “# of urban daddy readers” – answer: millions and millions.
8. “$ profit made at urban daddy last year”. Answer: See above.
9. “asked for a canucks coffee at tim hortons no cus” – I don’t know what “no cus” means so I am ignoring it, but I sure as hell know what a Canucks coffee is at Tim Horton’s. You order that drink and the staff start a riot, making sure to destroy the store while being filmed on TV.
10. “regulation that affect laundry service Canada” – That was my favourite government department, Laundry Service Canada. They had some pretty serious legislation relating to startching shirts…
11. “I called my son an asshole” – there. Do you feel better now? If you come back to this blog, I’ll call you an asshole too. Asshole.
12. “I hate the NDP”. Well I’m glad to hear that because I love you!
13. “when was santa claus born” When was he born? Like as in a real human being? Hey buddy… Santa wasn’t born! Besides, he’s busy doing porn, so leave him alone. Go bug him during the holiday season and not in his off season where he is pimping his self out with his Hoe’s!