The Urban Daddy’s Thursday Thirteen this week contains thirteen (13) strange search engine queries which brought people to my blog.
Let’s get started…
- “Unprotected sex with me, my brother in his room” – I don’t even know what to say about this search engine query, other than to wonder if it’s someone looking for this topic, or someone typing it in for kicks. Either way, there ain’t nuthin’ here to help out. Might I suggest condoms, or less alcohol at your family functions!
“2010 coffee shop ranks” – Ah yes, it’s almost time for my 2011 coffee shop ranking so now you’ll know where to go buy your coffee. Thanks for the reminder.
“Most popular instant coffee” – That would now be Starbucks VIA – Colombian. So, so good, but would you really take the opinion of some stranger on the Internet?!? Then again… Everything on the Internet is true, right.
“9 is greater than infinity” – Err, no it’s not… I’m pretty sure of that fact. 9 is greater than 8…. and 7…6… Got it?!?
9. “Best websites urban daddy” – I can handle this query in 2 ways. The first is to say thank you and the second is to remind readers that the blogroll in the right column of my blog, there are some fantastic bloggers that you really should check out. That’s why they’re there!
8. “Street view porn” – Even I googled this to see if it’s legit, but it’s not. I suspect I’ll have a search engine query next week entitled, “street view porn… made you look”
7. “Men adjusting their penis in diapers” – I’m not sure if the person looking for this query were looking for text or pictures, old or young, but why?
6. “George Smitherman donor list” – Yeah, where the fuck is that list, Georgie?!?
- “Toddler won’t get out of bed” – As the parent of 3 children, I’d love to know who searched for this because I would grab them by their shirt and pass along 2 pieces of advice. First, you’re the parent. If your toddler is already running the house you’re in trouble when they get older, and second, maybe you need to get them to bed earlier so they’ll get up when they need to, OR, if it’s your bed that they won’t get out of, then enjoy it. It won’t last forever. They need you.. You’re welcome.
4. “Meth labs in Toronto” – Are you looking for one? Either you’re an idiot junkie, or a resourceful police officer.
3. “Elliott Hurst / supernova / family / club rockit” – www.supernova.com, CEO Elliott Hurst. He guest blogs here and buys me coffee half the time we meet up when our kids are doing karate together, but Elliott… Someone keeps googling your name and wife and kids. To stop this from happening, I can proudly announce that yes you do have both… Now stalkers, you can back off!
2. “Laid off daddy bloggers Canada” – Are you asking for a list or are you one? I didn’t know this was a profession, or is it an epidemic? Do only laid off Daddies blog? Don’t leave me hanging!
1. “what is it like working at urbandaddy” – I’ll tell you this…It’s fucking fantastic! Amazing pay, long vacations, tons of room for advancement… All you need to do is clean up after 3 kids – including tons of poo – and blog when you get a few free minutes which usually means at 1 am. Ahhh, the grass is greener on the other side.
Keep those crazy searches coming folks!