Thank you readers for a record month!

Thank you for making January (with one day left) the best month for this blog… EVER.

Hits this month were a quarter more than my previous best month, which was December, and comments this month were a staggering 65% more than my previous best.

I really appreciate each time someone takes the time to read, or comment on something I have written. 

Whether you are reading it directly at, or on Facebook under my profile, or my urbandaddy page (come “like” me), or on Twitter @urbandaddyblog. You have taken the time to click through and I appreciate it.

Let’s have a kick-ass February!


This urban daddy


Random thoughts you need to know about and can impress friends; while you run for the border.

1.  In Canada clear bevereges are not allowed to contain added caffeine, hence the reason why Sprite is caffeine free.

2.  Only one of the following list of hot dogs has any amount of nutritional content in it.

       Care to guess?

  • Beef
  • Pork
  • Chicken
  • Turkey
  • Vegetable

If you guessed veggie, you are correct.

This tidbit came from my wife who is nearing the end of her training to become a nutritionist.

3.  Did you know that Iran’s nuclear facility (for “energy” not “weapons”) has a system glitch and is offline. 

While the entire world was waiting for Israel to blow up the facility, a computer worm has attacked the facility and set back the program by at least 4 years.  Added to that the fact that the scientists who were working on this have been killed, means trouble for the Iranians.  Bombs… Worms… Who knew the worms would be more dangerous!

4.  WTF Taco Bell?

Taco Bell is being sued for having less actual beef in their “taco meat” than the USDA standard amount requires for a product to be called “beef”.  UGH. 

The USDA standard considers beef to be “flesh of animals”.  To meet this standard a product must have at least 40% beef, or flesh of animals in it.   On it’s website, Taco Bell states: “Our taco meat is made from USDA-inspected beef and is subjected to quality check points. It tastes great because it’s simmered in 12 authentic seasonings and spices and is never frozen. Moreover, our taco meat is leaner than what you’ll find in a restaurant-cooked hamburger because of the unique way that we prepare our taco meat and remove fat.”

Rather than beef, Taco Bell uses a substance known as “taco meat filling”, which has 36% beef in it. 

So what the hell is in my taco?  you ask.  Well the remainder of the Taco Bell’s “meat filling product” consists of “extenders” like water, Isolated Oat Product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch, sodium phosphate and silicon dioxide (which is sand).  All meant to increase volume while keeping costs down.

Here is the entire list of ingredients;

Beef, water, isolated oat product, salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, oats (wheat), soy lecithin, sugar, spices, maltodextrin (a polysaccharide that is absorbed as glucose), soybean oil (anti-dusting agent), garlic powder, autolyzed yeast extract, citric acid, caramel color, cocoa powder, silicon dioxide (anti-caking agent), natural flavors, yeast, modified corn starch, natural smoke flavor, salt, sodium phosphate, less than 2% of beef broth, potassium phosphate, and potassium lactate.

This explains why there is a question on the Taco Bell FAQ page asking if there is “sand” in my food… UGH.  Yummy sand-tacos, or as my kids have said before, “GROSS BEEF”.

My friend googled Silicon dioxide and Google spit out a picture of a desert.  Seriously folks!

I googled anti-dusting agent and all I got was that it is a secret agent who hates dust.  LOL.

5.       One year ago today, the International Bowling Museum and Hall of Fame had its grand opening in Arlington Texas.  Yee Haw!

Here is what this urban daddy is reading

Here are the 3 books I am reading right now;

  1. Honey I Wrecked the Kids – Alyson Schafer
  2. Corporate Trust Program – The Trust Institute / The Institute of Canadian Bankers
  3. The Follow Through Factor – Gene Hayden

At the completion of these books I will better be able to…

  1. Raise my kids
  2. Do my job
  3. Do what I say I will do

Oh, and last night I read my son 9 chapters of Captain Underpants. He is… and interesting character, that underpants guy… I don’t remember reading silly books when I was a kid – well, I didn’t really read at all until I was 6 or 7.  I do remember reading tons of Archie comics and the sports section of every newspaper I could get my hands on. From there I graduated to the Choose Your Own Adventure series, while my sister raved about Judy Blume.

Now kids read about Professor Poppy P. Poopypants…

Cool, eh?

I’ll let you know how this works out.  🙂

Michael Ignatief’s fall-back job.

While trying to become Prime Minister of Canada, by any means necessary (election, coalition, sell your mother) Federal Liberal leader Michael Ignatief is at his best in front of the cameras, talking out of both sides of his mouth, kissing babies all the while playing down how the Conservatives are kicking his ass.

Away from the camera, Ignatief – who will never be Prime Minister – has his fall back gig already in play.

I saw it myself, with my own eyes…

Here is Ignatief (or Iggy as his friends call him) on the campaign trail.

And here is Iggy as I know (and still dislike him) as the new mascot for the Toronto Rock Lacrosse club.  

 Which Iggy do you like better?  Both have swelled heads and both appear to be very strong.  But I suspect of you check inside both heads, you will be disappointed by what you find.

We’re all adults (or parents) here: A post about… Semen, Vulva and Penis.

I wasn’t sure whether or not to post this blog – it as been sitting in my draft folder for ages, but due partially to lack of creativity and my boys swimming – I am pressing send and holding my breath.

As the father to 3 children – 2 boys and a girl – the conversations around body parts have been common place in my household for just over a year now and do not seem to be going away.

It all started when my daughter, Berry, was born.  I caught both boys staring at her, puzzled why she had no penis.  My wife and I found it quite funny, and we had to explain that girls don’t have a penis – to be anatomically correct, instead of telling them about her vagina, we’ve been calling it a vulva. 

I recall at one point my son questioned the use of that word as “mummy drives a volvo”. Yes she does, and she also has a vulva… All girls do.

I’ve caught the boys looking for their sister’s penis in case she really does have one and it is just hiding in her diaper or sleeper.  It took my middle child, Stewie, the better part of six months before he was satisfied that she did not have one.

We encourage the kids to be open and honest about their bodies and ask questions if they really want to know. 

So I was not surprised when last week at swimming my oldest boy was looking at the penis of another boy. I caught him and when we left the change room, I casually asked him what he was looking at on that boy. Defensively, he said, “nothing”.  I told him it was okay to look and I further enquired if he was looking at the boys un-circumcised penis, since all the men and boys he knows are circumcised.  He had never seen one before.

“Yes”, he admitted.  But then he wanted to know why.  So I explained to him that Jewish babies (but not just Jewish babies) have the skin that covers the head of their penis removed by a doctor called a moyel so that it is healthier. He totally bought that and we left.

I don’t want the kids to have the hangups with their bodies that I did growing up as a fat, awkward child. I wouldn’t shower in gym glass, and was very unsure of myself growing up.

I have two defining moments for me which helped contribute to my awkwardness and I do want to see those situation occur for my kids and cause them the same stress and frustration that it caused me, plus no one likes the stinky boys.  🙂

I remember in grade 6 trying to be one of the boys and wanted to show that I could talk like the cool kids. The song “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight runner was playing on my Sony Walkman (tape!) and I said to my friends, “Hey this song says there is cum on Eileen”. I was very proud of myself.

My friend turned to me and said, “Hey! Dude! My mom’s name is Eileen” and off he stormed.

I felt terrible.

I tried apologizing the next day at work but he wouldn’t talk to me. I explained to my other friends I didn’t know but they seemed amused by my stress rather than concerned, and it wasn’t until 2 months later when this friend told me he was pulling my leg and his mom was not Eileen. He liked that I was stressed over it.


From that point on I promised not to talk like a potty mouth to my friends.  I held on to my inner-perv.

Next situation:

Sue Johanson – The legendary sex therapist came to my high-school for her annual talk.  In anticipation, we were asked to write questions for her and to drop them into a hat on the way into the forum, so that at some point she would be able to answer them.  For some odd reason my friend and I decided it would be a good idea to write a funny question for her to answer.  I don’t recall the questions being bantied about but boy do I remember the one I chose to write down;

“What does cum taste like?”

For some reason being a 13-year-old boy, this was funny.  Like REALLY funny.

So throughout the whole 2 hour session my friend and I sat near the back of the room, under a boardroom table, waiting for that moment when she would read the questions.  When it came time for questions we sat there, eagerly listening to the really smart questions, and some dumb ones, waiting for our moment.

Not thinking for a moment what a dumb-ass I was in school – unable to control my laughter at the best of times and getting tossed out of many classes for it – I failed to think this through.  The moment she picked up my question – the last question of the session, and she read it, I burst out in uncontrollable laughter along with my friend.  It took seconds before the entire grade – teachers included – were looking at us, clearly knowing who wrote this idiotic question.

But Sue… Professional Sue… Took it all in stride and answered the question;  “salty” was her response.

I felt like a fool.

My friend did too.

We spent the rest of the week denying that we were behind the question, instead stating there was a joke that was told that was super-funny.  That joke was not able to be repeated.  I’m sure everyone knew.

You live and you learn.

These two incidents definitely set the tone for my comfort around talking about sex, and it took me quite a few years to re-adjust.  I don’t want my kids to have to go through that, which is why I want to be open about it and let them know that we will answer any questions they may have on the topic.

How are you handling these types of questions around your kids?  How will that differ from the way your folks discussed it with you.