Why I ate a warm banana tonight…

Tonight I ate a warm banana.

Why you ask?

Because my stubborn daughter, Berry would not go to sleep tonight.  She had a 1 1/2 hour nap with her nanny this afternoon and that meant she was not happy to be in bed at 8pm.  She cried, she yelled, she screamed… She wanted to “eat” which meant STALLING! 

Before bed she wants to eat or poo, both opportunities for her to not have to go to sleep even if she is exhausted as I suspected she was tonight.

The Leafs were playing the Penguins and I had the TV on.

I gave her a banana and she took one bite then she leaned her head on the side of the couch while I cleaned up.  I asked her if she was ready for bed but she said no and she took the world’s smallest nibble of this banana. 

I continued cleaning, checking on her every couple of minutes.

I left the room and came back in to find this;

What it means to be a working father of three.

This past weekend definitely a trying weekend for me in my efforts to be a great father.

I was on edge all weekend, probably because this would be the 3rd week in a row I’ve been suffering with my allergies.  I have been unable to wear my contact lenses. My eyes are very red and quite itchy, and my nose and throat have started to itch this week… UGH. I look like I’m on drugs… Not a great look for an office, eh?

I keep forgetting that I should be investing in allergy medication, as all this allergy action has come in the last 5 or 6 years only. I never had allergies as a child.

I am also a bit on edge because our little baby girl, Berry, has been up every 2-3 hours (shades of Stewie) every single night.  While I do not get up everytime the baby does – thank you honey – because this time around, for child #3 I actually have to work.

With child #1, Linus, I took 9 months off paid paternity. With child #2, Stewie, I was off for 4 months on paid paternity (2 of those months were spent laid up with a herniated disc in my lower pack) and with #3, Berry… 1 day at home. It was tax season and I needed to be at the office.

But there are some nights where I am feeling very good and as a result, I have been getting up so urban mummy does not have to, even if that means staying up with the baby past midnight hoping she’ll have that great night’s sleep she needs to stay rejuviated and the baby will tire out and sleep an nour or two more.

Neither of them do…

And to top matters off… the boys have been waking up at at 6am to play, waking me up in the process. 

So allergies, and exhaustion, coupled with 2 rowdy boys and an over-tired wife and look out!

As a result, every little thing drove me crazy this weekend.  Watching the boys play tug-of-war with their expensive throwpillow – with their teeth – drove me batty.  As did walking in the kitchen on cooked rice that the boys dumped on the floor.  Grrr.

I know this is what being a Dad is all about and I know that all I need is one good night’s sleep to get me back on track.

But until them… Look out!

SNAP.

How a Father of 2 Boys Spends a Weekend…

Before I go into details about our weekend and why I am always so tired and run down, this promotional message is brought to you by the numbers 7, 8 and 9.

Have you heard the new song by the Barenaked Ladies? The one called 7-8-9? In this song, the band counts to 10, but omit the number 9, and when asked about it, they sing, “Cause seven ate nine”… It’s actually quite cute. We listen to it a LOT in the car with the kids, especially when Stewie yells, “789. 789. 789″ and won’t stop until we play it.

Well… it would explain why Stewie counted for me to 10, like this, “1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-10″. So I ask him, “Hey, what about 9?”. He just looks at me.

Now, the weekend… It is currently raining and my kids are dancing outside on the back deck. One has stripped naked, while the other still in PJ’s is getting wet. Me? I’m inside on the computer. My wife?!? I’m not really sure. She tells me she is “cleaning” and it sounds like she is cleaning, but nonetheless, she is missing quite a show!

So I brought the boys inside, ran them upstairs and threw them and UM in the bath for a family bubble bath. Linus loved it… Stewie hated it. That was fun for me as I had some quiet time!

Once the kids cleaned off, we got dressed, the rain stopped and I took the kids for a nice walk up and down the main street by our house, and in and out of the backyard to play with toys and check on the vegetables we are growing. We had some much fun, I figured Sunday might be more of the same, and it sure was.

On Sunday, Stewie – who won’t get out of bed on his own – woke up around 6am, calling, “Daddy… Poo potty… Poo coming… Daddy”. So in ran UrbanMummy to get him, but he had already pooed in his diaper. We changed him, gave him yummy-mummy-milk and hoped he would rest in bed with us, but after a few minutes of him trying to escape, I decided that we needed a different plan.

I didn’t want to wake Linus, so I got Stewie dressed quietly, and I was going to take him for a walk in his stroller, but his yelling work up Linus and then it was on for the day! Both boys were bouncing off the walls and finally at 7:45am I let them into the backyard where they began yelling and screaming, playing and eating raspberries from the plant in the corner of the yard. Thinking this might not be a good way to get your neighbours to like you, I wisked them inside, had UM help me get Linus dressed while I made pancakes, and after breakfast we went to the park.

At the park before 9am, we played in the sand, on the slide and with some of the other kids there, until UM showed up, and we walked to Starbucks for a Grande Americano and some chatting outside on the patio with our neighbours, then home to meet a friend and her son for more play time, this time in our back yard. It wound up being 5 boys in the backyard – which wound down slowly just past 2pm at which point we woke up Stewie from his nap and headed down to the park in midtown for our cousins 2nd birthday party.

At the party, we ate (pizza, cake and fruit), played on the jungle gym and got really dirty. We packed up and headed back uptown to Grandma and Grandpa’s for a BBQ with them and some friend they have known for over 40 years. We ate, played and ran inside as it poured just after dinner. The image of Stewie standing inside the door to the deck, dancing side-to-side, signing “rain, rain, go way. Come again ‘nother day”… over and over again. It was so funny.

Anyways, we got them home, fed them and got them into bed. I hoped to have been able to go to sleep tonight, like last night, laying in bed with UM, hand-in-hand, watching Law and Order, but instead I went for a run. Managed just under 30 minutes – was dead tired and legs were very tight from all the walking. I needed more water too. Ugh.

So after my run, I came home, showered, rambled through this post and went to bed. I’m SO beat. We spent like 3/4′rs of the day outside.

Yawn. Just another weekend in this urban daddy’s household with 2 active boys.

It’s been WAY too long! Date night!!

English: unrecognized dessert. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This very nice March evening, my wife and I stepped out of our kinder-jail for a couple of hours to see if we remember what it’s like to be adults again.  The plan was not to rush – no regular checking of our phones, no peeking at the watches, hopefully not too much yawning either.  We put the kids to bed, did not tell them we were going out, make sure the sitter was prepared and we left.

Together.

Dressed as adults.

For dinner.  Yeah, “dinner”.  LOL.  What do adults eat when they rarely get out of the house together?  Well that’s an easy one.  We went to Caffe Demitre’s, which for those of you who don’t know, is a dessert establishment known for their ice cream sundaes, waffles and crepes.

Man was it good.  And boy and I still wired!  Hence the blogging instead of, ahem, sleeping.

I didn’t get to bed until almost 2am and full of sugar, I cleaned up some of the house, did more research towards my grad school assignment (now 4 days past due – oops) and got working on my case study (due next week), but still it was worth it getting out and eating junk for dinner.

It was so much fun, I want to do it again. Going out with the wife. Not the dessert place. That place is NOT going to help my new healthier eating lifestyle.

I’m just not so sure when the next time out will be!

Related articles

• Caffe Demetre (eatmeetandgreet.wordpress.com)
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Your baby cries in the middle of the night… Who gets the kid in your household?

This is one of the most discussed topics for all new parents and until you figure this one out, it can cause some stress in the relationship. Then once you sort things out, along comes baby number 2 and you have to re-think your plan and start again.

Scenario: It’s 3:30am and the baby cries. Who gets up to rock him or pick him up?

Right away, I would say the father, especially if there are 2 kids, because mommy needs her rest so she can take care of them during the day and so she will have enough breast milk so she can feed the baby without falling asleep.

So what happens if baby wakes up at 3:30am, then stays up until 5:30am, and daddy has to get up at 6am for work?

You have to talk to your spouse.

Now toss in the scenario that you, the daddy has to go to the office and mummy is sick and cannot get up in the night, or worse, once she is awaken, she cannot go back to sleep?

So as a newbie dad of now 2 boys, I asked this question; Who is better at calming the baby? Is there not a person that can be hired to do this? What do you do in a case where the baby gets up but both parents need to sleep? Take turns? I really don’t know.

What I do know is that for the past week or two, we’ve both been getting up and lately it’s been the UrbanMummy who has been taking care of the baby and letting me get my 5 hours sleep. She has been awesome for me in that way.

Not only has she been taking care of the night wake-ups but I came home from work today and found that she had, taken the kids to the doctor, taken Linus to a drama program, worked on her course, made dinner AND baked a banana bread. WOW. How impressive is all that.

Too often we neglect what our spouses do in a day for us, for our kids, and for thmselves especialy when you know they are as exhausted as we are.

I guess the real solution is to get that little ball of joy to sleep through the night. Yeah. Stewie you must sleep! Good luck. I’ll just try to get through the day on 3-5 hours sleep. I’ve been doing that for a couple years already since I began my MBA and Linus was born. What’s a few more months, right?

Yawn.

Excuse me, I feel tired.

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nothing like getting back to the office after 4-months off, right?!?

English: MRI of a disc extrusion of 15mm in the left lateral recess, at the L4-L5 level compressing the left central L5 nerve root. Notice the lack of contrast in the herniated disc, indicating a lack of fluid, and the compressed height relative to other discs in the spine. The lack of contrast on the abdomen side of the disc is an imaging artifact and not another herniation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I knew deep down inside that it was not going to be so easy getting back to work after being off for 4 months while on paid paternity leave and coming back with a very sore back.  Not matter how I tried to prepare myself, or my employer, I just knew in my gut that it was not going to go anywhere near what I had imagined.

I decided to go to bed really early, at 10:30pm and right after Stewie’s dream feed because I wanted to maximize my sleep so I could go in somewhat fresh.  Since Stewie wakes up each and every night at 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am and 5am he did not disappoint me this night either which meant we were all exhausted come morning.

By 5am, I was so tired that I took him down to the family room, curled up on the couch with him tucked safely behind me, then I turned on the TV and within seconds fell right back asleep.  I little later than I had hope, I brought the little guy back into the bedroom to be with Mummy at 7:15 just before I raced out the door to attempt to walk to the subway, but just before I left, Linus was awaken by Stewie’s so I grabbed him and took him into his Mummy’s room too.  I hobbled down the stairs ready to get moving which is when I remembered that I had to back the car out of the garage – a task that UrbanMummy is either incapable of, or afraid of.  (giggle).

Now much later, I began to dreading the task ahead of me, the walk to the subway, but I was really looking forward to the fresh-air and calm and quiet.  My mystery back / piriformis ailment is still bothering me, but I figured I would take it easy and try to walk to the subway in 15-20 minutes and see how I felt during and after.  That was a big mistake.

The weather for my first day back was minus 20 degrees with the windchill and the damn walk took me just over 30 minutes!  Sigh. Frozen and tired, I arrived at the office to find out that nothing had changed.  From the moment I walked in the doors, I knew that I would have to move on from this place sooner rather than later.  I don’t agree with the management philosophy, nor the way certain people treat others and their files, I no longer find the work challenging and today I found that the smell in the place makes me stuffed up. I might actually be allergic to the office.

Also not surprising to me considering that I’ve been warning my boss that I would be coming back today for quite a few weeks, I had even given him a list of things that needed to be done before my first day so I can jump right back into the swing of things and not have to wait around wasting time and money -  but I got into the office with no access to my terminal, or my desk, and when I managed to get partial access, I no longer had an inventory.

Ugh.

So I turned my focus to my morning coffee break. I wonder how many days it will take them (or me) to get access so I can do some work.  I don’t get paid to sit around… Wait… Yes I do.

So the highlight of my day was my coffee break.  It was cold, but fun.  I certainly love myself a Tim Horton’s large double double.

Thinking that nothing could top this day so far, I returned from coffee break, was able to sit down at my desk, and not only was there a phone but there was also a phone message!  How my wife knew I was set up with a phone, I would never know, but when I checked the message it was actually from my Doctor and she had the MRI results on my mystery “back” problems.

The message simply stated that I have a herniated disk in my back, L5 area, which is the lowest disk in the back. The disk has a moderate to large herniation and the disk is pushing outward, not to the side as was expected, hence my numbness in weird areas.

Joy.

Out of all the sports injuries I have had, ranging from stitches, separated shoulders, broken toes, broken and cracked ribs, sprains, strains, torn rotator cuff, tendonitis, cuts, welts, etc., I have never a back problem, until now.  I can now look forward to a ton of physiotherapy and hopefully one day being able to do up my own shoe laces.

Great start to my day, and getting even better!  A few of us went for lunch to the very close, and newly opened Bombay Bhel Indian restaurant and I have to admit I was a little surprised that the food was sitting in warming trays, being kept warm by candles.  Of course, in keeping with the  pattern of my day, I noticed after lunch that the food was sitting on my chest, a little like I had overeaten, and a little like I was going to be ill.  This feeling stayed with me the rest of the day, and I barely made it through the day – left 20 minutes after the office closed – got home, skipped dinner and went right sleep.  I woke up for my Human Resources Management class but fell back asleep during the class.

Then I spent the rest of the night throwing up which really sucks large when you have a herniated disk in your back.  I’m not sure what was worse.  Repeated trips to the bathroom, or the pain in my back and legs.

I ended up sleeping all day on Wednesday.  I vaguely remember a comment from my wife just before bed that night which may have contained this phrase, ” Must be nice to be able to sleep all day”.

Well it was not nice and karma was a bitch to her, because she would be felled by the same virus (I swear she gave it to me in the first place), and she would be sick until early Sunday morning.  I started to feel better Friday and great on Saturday, but this illness took the toll on her as she was sick, sick, sick.  She couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink or keep anything inside her.  Even Stewie got sick, but my wife managed to somehow remain hydrated after 5 days without food or water, to keep herself and him from the hospital.

I carried that 16 pound boy around for the rest of the week and the longer I held him, the more I felt my back hurt and as a result, my foot would go numb and my big toe on the left side was constantly stinging with pain from the pressed nerve.  I just wish he would sleep so w could both get some rest!

I’m going to hit the sack and wait for the wailing wake up from the littlest one between 5-5:30am when my day will start all over again.

I’m so glad to be “back” at work!

I’m Heading Back to Work after a 2 Month Paternity leave and 6 week sick leave… Joy!

Today is my last day at home before returning to work, after a 2-month paternity leave and 6-week sick leave, understandibly I am full of emotion.

I really felt that at the beginning of this leave that I would be able to get things done around the house, build a better relationship with my wife, form a bond with my son, finish my 2 BA classes, jump start my promotional business and socialize a little. But boy, was I wrong. Not only did I not see my friends, but because of our non-sleeping, very heavy son, and my lack of any sort of physical shape whatsoever resulted in, what we suspect to be, a herniated disk, or pinched nerve in my back. I’m waiting for the MRI results which should be here any moment.

So I go to physiotherapy twice a week now, and have managed to lose 10 pounds (a good thing) and my stretching and exercises are aimed at my lower back, abs and butt. That might help with the build a better relationship part… Butt seriously (pun intended) This time away from work has helped me put life back into perspective. I need to spend more time on me. I want to be in shape, I want that exciting career, and the pay and power that goes with it. I love politics and need to be involved in some way, and I really want to take cooking classes and guitar lessons (if only I could sing). I no longer need to eat all the time, especially snacks. I hate the way I feel after eating some 300 calorie treat. I took my wife for granted. Whatever I didn’t do, she would do. She’s like that. She’s a doer, and I’m a talker. I’d take on 10 tasks, knowing that I would really on remember to do 5 of them and actually do two or three of them. Because I don’t learn, instead of tracking what I agreed to do, I would have forgotten them while urban mummy wait, then understandably, question my work ethic. I need to learn to say no, AND do what I say I am going to do.

It’s been tough to say no, but in such a short period of time, I find the results much more relaxing for me.

I learned that graduate school will take care of itself. I enjoy the courses and do very well, whether I pour 30 hours a weeks into it, or 3 hours. I have to be productive and get the work done and enjoy the process.

I learned that I miss the company of my wife. Not that we used to go out often, but since both children have arrived, we are just plain tired at 8pm and want to unwind. She likes the internet, and I like to clean, take care of tasks and well, work the net too. But this pattern has become destructive. We are here together but not really together. We need to find a common task we can do together and I need to pamper the hell out of her. I really get it when she says that she wants to feel like she did when we were dating. Hell, back then, I was 29, no responsibilities and just wanted to impress this hot chick I met. Now? We take turns handing the baby off to each other bemoaning how long it has been since we managed to shower. Rough, eh?

During this time off, I wanted to set goals. I need goals. I want to make sure that what I want to achieve helps my family get closer. I want a clean house that is not covered in clutter, and I want to see my friends and our friends. I want more “guys nights out”, and more time bonding with our kids. I want my laptop back (the hard drive blew), and I want a good nights sleep. I don’t want a sore back anymore and I want to finally be in a position to make something happen in my workplace, whether it’s my current one, or a new one. The time is now!

2006 did not end well, and 2007 has to be a better year because for the first time in years, I am clearly seeing my future and it sucks, unless I want to change it. I do, and I can. So stand back world and watch out for me. I’m ready to make that splash in the pool of life, and for the first time in my life, I’m NOT taking a life jacket, just in case, but instead, I’m going to learn how to swim.

Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

————————————————————————————

Back to the household…

Stewie decided to get up at 4am this morning… How thoughtful.

The Royal Rumble was yesterday, the only WWE PPV that I have ever seen in a bar, or paid for (except attending Wrestlemania 6). I missed it. I missed my 3 friends that used to do the wrestling thing with me. I have not heard from them in years. I have kids, they never will. Oh well.

Linus told me, over the weekend that he, “no like this Mummy… Want different Mummy”. Same for his little brother… Want different Stewie. Poor kid is going to miss me big time when I go back to work.

I am going to potty train Linus, and am calling out my 4 loyal readers (lol) for their tips, tricks and advice.

The new neighbours that moved in behind us, to whom I brought over an apple pie to welcome them to the neighborhood, but have not heard from yet, finally got blinds for their bathroom/bedroom last night. Thank goodness… The nightly nude show is coming to an end.

All the Dads in the playgroup are having another “Guys nite out”, Feb 6th at our place. On the menu is deli and a few starters, like chopped liver (yum). I love that we can all get together and bash the Liberal party of Canada.

Speaking of the Liberals… I watched the beginning of question period today and found it funny that new Liberal leader Stephane Dion was picking at PM Harper for his environmental record, when Dion was the Environment Minister under the Liberals and did nothing to help Canada. Hypocrite. Yet people still vote for these idiots. Sigh. I predict an embarrassing end for Dion in his role with the Liberals…

If you want more readers, apparently you have to make your posts interesting and clear. Damn!

A wise person who may or may not be my wife once told me that if I want more readers to my blog, I need my posts to make sense.

What?!?  I have to put effort into what I write?  And I’m supposed to edit them, and check the spelling?  OY.  That is way too much work for my 5 regular readers (sorry guys!).  I blog in order to keep track of milestones for my kids and in my life and the fact that people read this who do not know me, is mind-blowing.  Assuming that I continue to blog into 2007, 2008 or beyond, I expect my readership to remain the same…

So when I look back at older posts, I realize that a lot of my posts are gibberish and while they may have made sense to me back then, they certainly do not make any sense whatsoever right now.

Maybe I should proof-read them.

I’m just not sure when.  You see I do most of my blogging after my wife and kids go to sleep, so these posts are getting cranked out between 11pm and 2am.  That is also the time I have set aside for my graduate school work, and while my wife is also completing her graduate school degree, we have to juggle the other responsibilities around the house.  For example, while my wife has managed to lower her work load down to only having 2 essays left to complete, I am now working through 5 essays, a case study, a quiz and a journal assignment to hand in before my final paper and final exam which are… this weekend.

I’d better get to work!

It’s easy to get this work done, on time and on topic when my recent marks look like this; Essay 95%. Essay 95%. Quiz 100%. Case Study 100%. Essay 90%.

I can now see that the end is near and I no longer question whether I can do this or not.  I’m running full steam ahead.  The only thing holding me back right now is my back.  Thank goodness for the anti-inflammatory medication my doctor gave me so I can focus on my work and have one less thing to worry about, in the short-term.

I’m going to have to take a break from my school work later tonight as I have agreed to present some legislation to 2 of the Canada Revenue Agency’s commercial collection teams.  I have not yet had a chance to review the material and it’s already 9:30pm.  I have done it before and can do it again.  It keeps the dry material interesting when I add real life encounters into the discussion.

When your 18 month old child goes “thump” in the night…

Would you believe this happened to me?  Actually it happened to my son?

All 18 months of him.

Here’s what happened…

It’s 12:30am, and I’m on the computer trying to write an essay on e-Procurement wondering when, if ever, I might be off to bed, when directly above me, I hear a loud “thud”, but no noise to follow.  So I set aside my essay, make my way upstairs and into our bedroom.  Still no noise.  I make my way over to my side of the bed and reach for the flashlight we use to check on Linus.  I had left the flashlight on the floor when I brought Linus into our bed at 10pm to sleep with his mummy.  

I reached down for the flashlight, and felt… hair.

Then a head?!?

It was my son.

The thud was him falling off our bed onto the floor (and power bar).  He was on his hands and knees and out cold… Still sleeping.

I scooped him up and took him to his crib where he is snoring up a storm.

Poor little guy is back on anti-biotics, still has an ear infection, and those drugs make him sleep sounder than he did before.

Surprisingly, I was able to pick him up and carry him considering the intense pain I feel in my sciatic nerve. I get sharp shooting pains from pretty much my left buttock (glut muscle) all the way down to my toes (which sometimes go numb). I went through a month of serious physiotherapy, and massage but to no avail. Now I continue to stretch a lot, but no avail. So today I got new walking shoes. That might work.

Also I posses a very cranky wife who is 24 week pregnant and already feeling like she did in the 9th month with Linus.  Her back is probably worse than mine and that says a lot.  She, like I, am very tough and are able to move on considering the pain.  I think the only thing that would make her feel better (after a good massage) is if we paid off our mortgage.  She hates debt.  I love that she hates debt except it adds to the stress of a sick child and being pregnant.

So now it’s time to get back up to bed, I have to be at the office in 5 hours.

“thunk”