I know what you are thinking already… You have just clicked through and dammit, you want to be educated and impressed by 13 items which MUST be kept away from kids, and you do NOT want to see the same obvious items that other bloggers include, like; fire, axes, switchblades, or acid on this list.
Good. You must read on!
None of those even made this list.
What did make this list, are 13 things which new parents really need to keep away from their children, and trust me when I say that us, experienced or established parents, are nodding along in understanding. You will be amazed with this list, and you will want to follow it! Each and every item on this list!
So sight tight, and be prepared to be educated. In The Urban Daddy household we don’t just quiz each other about mathematics for fun, we also drive mummy and daddy crazy by taking these items… often.
Here is THE list of things to keep out of the hands or sight lines of children at all times:
13) Paper – new paper, coloured paper, paper from the recycle bin, paper with bills on it, or from our offices. If it’s paper, then it must be okay to draw / colour / fold / crumple or pour liquids on. Once children understand they can do this, it does not stop at scrap paper. They will colour or write on calendars, important papers for the office, papers for school, items belonging to others and so much more. If they want paper, give it to them in a controlled setting. Don’t let them see where it came from.
12) Band-Aids – “I have a boo boo” means, I want a Band-Aid. The worst part is finding the wrappers and peels all over the house and when you need a Band-Aid finding the box empty, and only Hello Kitty or Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles available. They take them to their rooms, they cover their body with them.
11) Money – It is very important to teach children about money. I have a lot of posts throughout my blog relating to this very topic. But be careful because once they realize that money is a scarce resource and that you have to EARN it, they always find other ways to get money, like taking it from their siblings, from you, family members and searching the earth for money. Just last week my kids were peeking under the vending machines at the RINX sports complex in Toronto and yes, they came up for $4.55. Still… My 1923 penny has disappeared as has the toonies in my “hidden” drawer…
10) Elastics – I made this a completely separate item, not included in officer supplies, because elastics, like paper clips often disappear and are found tied together, in one long massive strand, usually when I really need one. The kids play with these and ultimately use them as weapons. Best to keep away.
9) String – My oldest has always liked tying things together. From as young as I could remember, but when he was 3 1/2, I came out of the family room to see his toys being lifted from the basement all the way up to the top floor via a make-shift pulley system he had created. It’s never ended. Pulleys, zip-lines, clothes lines, he has created it all. He has also set up booby-traps for his brother and sister and tied every piece of string from the lacing toy together time and time again. If there is string in the house, at one time it was tied tightly to his next adventure.
8) Zip Baggies – Not for the reason you might think – choking hazards – but rather because once my kids found out how useful Ziploc baggies were, we could not keep track of them. Toys were zipped together, rocks, dirt, bugs, garbage, and especially paper, all stuck in baggies. Even when I hid the baggies, they found them and used them all up.
7) Kleenex – First it’s 5 Kleenex to wipe their nose, then they get older and it’s a box of Kleenex because it’s fun to pull them out. Now I cannot find a box of tissues anywhere in my house when I need one! I could, however, open up a drawer and find 1000 loose ones sitting there…
6) Dental floss – Flossing is VERY important, and pulling floss out of the container is a LOT of fun. Putting it back…. Not so much. I’ll never forget the site of my wife’s late cat, Lucie, walking down the hall with a piece of her poo trailing her by about 3 feet stuck on a piece of dental floss she had eaten. I had to pull out the other foot… UGH.
5) The hiding spot for anything – If it’s hidden they find it, and they go back regularly to look for more.
4) How to erase from a PVR – My mistake because I came downstairs one night after everyone had gone to sleep to find all of my wrestling that I had recorded gone and the PVR full of kids TV shows…
3) Tape – First they tape paper, then more paper then they ask to borrow the tape and we say, “fine just go get it” and then it’s over! They tape toys, the floor, the walls, each other and viola… No tape. And it’s not just scotch brand tape either… Watch as they use duct tape in the same manner (mine have not, yet).
2) Staples – See tape above. The only difference here is they do not use it on each other but there is nothing worse than walking on the carpet and getting a staple rammed into the bottom of your foot. It’s happened so many times I’d rather not say anything except that the staples and the staples are in different places, and they must use it in front of us on the wood floor.
1) Passwords / passcodes, anything confidential that you don’t want them to know or repeat to strangers, it’s best to leave alone. They don’t understand the importance of being quiet here and they announce information to everyone and anyone.
Honourable mention to shampoo and soap because a new bottle one week is empty the next but no dirt has been removed from their hands… Funny how that works.
What is dangerous in the hands of your kids?
The absolute best trait a person with ADD-like symptoms possesses is the ability to think about 45 different things over the course of one full minute.
Since today is Thursday, I’d like to put together 13 items that have crossed my mind in the past 13 minutes – many of course coming as a result of something one of my children has said to me, about me, recently when he questioned my (in)ability to help his with his homework.
- On the weekend my son needed help with a project for his math enrichment class. I wanted him to at least try it before asking for help, but I knew that he was hungry and when he’s hungry he is helluva cranky. Not realizing that his crankiness was meant for his mother whom he wanted to work with, my offer of help generated this reply from him; “I DON’T want your help! You’re useless!!”
This lead to #12.
- Being called “useless” by a 7-year-old child with low blood sugar is hilarious. I didn’t want to help him anyways! It’s the weekend and I have other things to do… Even things for (gasp) me!
Then I started thinking… See #11.
- Then as I set out looking to help one of my other children with schoolwork, I started to think about what my son called me when I came to the conclusion he’s off base. I’m 43-years-old. I’m married. I’m a great dad. I have 3 children, and have 3-years of accounting qualifications under my belt, plus a MBA which I earned while that child was a baby sleeping only 2-3 hours at a time for almost the first year of his life! I am far from useless.
- They say (and I don’t know who “they” are or if this even counts as a fact) that if you can question whether you are “crazy” then you must not be “crazy”. Granted terminology is terrible, but what if I’ve been telling myself that I am useful all these years but in the eyes of my kids, I’m already a dinosaur incapable of helping out wit Grade 2 math… Maybe I do belong in the museum of life.
Or… If I was subconsciously pulling a fast one on my kids to get out of having to help them with their math. I mean when I was growing up and my family decided that I needed to help make lunches before bed, I sabotaged their lunches and was never asked to help out again.
But after a hug from mummy and a handful of grapes, I could hear the cries for “DADDY!!!” from the child who actually needed my help… I think.
I made him apologize. I didn’t need it, but I wanted him to get used to saying sorry. It’s not easy for everyone to say but it’s powerful and liberating to clear your conscience.
Even at 7-years-old, children do not like to be forced to apologize, yet when they know they need help and you are their only option, you get the short, unemotional, “sorry”.
Then we got down to business, and after 2-hours or being creative and cutting, solving, gluing and decorating this project, the light-bulb went on in both of our heads.
It had become my project and it had to be good. Really good.
Daddy was doing his project and it was looking good… Really good.
I stepped back and said to him, “Hey man! It’s your project, not mine. We’re going to do whatever you want to do. Please don’t let me take over or tell you what to put where I think it goes. It’s all yours (and in the back of my mind, while he’s staring at this piece of art, I know he’s thinking it’s awesome and I’m thinking – still think I’m useless?)
He takes over. He colours, aligns, decorates, fixes, alters, and adjusts the project and now it’s ALL his. It’s amazing,
He turns to me with his eyes wide as saucers and says; “I love you Daddy!”
Totally worth it!
This week’s Thursday Thirteen is going to be all about Wrestling. With the Royal Rumble just last weekend and TNA Impact undergoing some sort of transformation I thought it might be a good time to air my thoughts and get some feedback from the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community).
So sit back, take your vitamins, say your prayers and don’t make me F5 you!
- Is it TNA or Impact? I watch these shows each and every week and I hope they are able to pull through, but after all these years I still don’t get it. For example, it’s “TNA Genesis”, and the World title belt says “TNA” on it, but the turnbuckles and ring apron say “Impact Wrestling”.
Austin Aries is fantastic! This guy is gold. He reminds me of a young Ric Flair but he needs to stay in TNA. He’s the King there… He is someone who I would pay to see!
I can understand why CM Punk left the WWE. Batista, Brock Lesner, the New (Old) Age Outlaws… Listen to the fans. They detest these guys. They’re boring. They’re old. I don’t want to see them more than once. I don’t want to even see them in a match beating 3MB.
Speaking of 3MB… Is it not time for Drew McIntyre to step up and out of the group. He reminds me of a thinner Barry Windham. I could see them in matches and Drew doing all the work then developing a nasty attitude and taking off on his own. He could be a Paul Heyman guy!
TNA / Impact does a terrible job of character development. I’ll fast forward through Gunner, and even Bobby Roode and James Storm lack charisma. Plus, the Bro Mans??? How did that just sneak out of nowhere…
Still on TNA / Impact – What’s up with the title changes? They come at the worst time. Gail Kim on a roll – destroying everyone in sight, and then back comes Madison Rayne who was a villain last time we saw her, and then boom. Title change.
BroMans? Really? I think the problem here is that I have been having a hard time taking them seriously based on their character development. Then they become champs, and added Zena Ion, and now it seems they are just getting to that point where they look like a tag team.
What’s up with the Daniel Bryan Wyatt thing? The build up was long and obvious, and then it happened and then it unhappened. It doesn’t get mentioned, and now Bryan is back fighting the “Authority” and Bray Wyatt is all over the World title scene. How? Why? I think they need to cover up this mess by having the Wyatt’s add another member coming into the fold / cult.
5. Rumour has it that Sting has signed with the WWE. Why? It feels like it’s too little too late, no? He’s old, wrestles with a t-shirt on and has been beaten by EC3 and other WWE cast-offs.
4. Naomi. She is the real deal. Naomi vs. AJ and then Naomi taking off as pretty much the only female wrestler on the roster not named Tamina Snuka. Then after so ass-kicking they can remove the “Divas” championship and bring back the “Woman’s” title.
3. Dolph Ziggler is the real deal. He needs to emulate Shawn Michaels and please, lose that pink hair! He is the other guy I would pay to watch live because he works his butt off and takes all the bumps. He’s a main eventer!
2. So is Danial Bryan if they would let him go… and so is Cody Rhodes!
1. I appreciate that MVP has come in to save TNA / Impact but we’ve seen this gimmick before and it didn’t work. I hope this doesn’t bust like the Shockmaster, but I hope it helps generate more interest and keeps the product alive. TNA / Impact is NOT the WWE. Never will be, but old WWE stars need somewhere to go
Honourable mention to the camerawork in the WWE. They have got to STOP the in-and-out camera work. It’s frustrating, annoying and makes it hard to watch the action!
Something a little new today.
My Thursday Thirteen this week is going to cover the 13 most commonly asked emails that I have received at email@example.com. I do get a LOT of email and if I had the time, I would love to be able to reply to all of it, and it does take me some time to reply, but I have some left over messages all along the same theme, which I am going to answer here.
Sit tight, get your pen and paper ready – or a Dictaphone if you have one or even know what it is – and let’s get ready to learn how to reply to tough, challenging emails. Urban Daddy style.
13. Why don’t you blog so much anymore?
Great and most common question. I do blog as much as before, however, now that I have my own business, a lot of my posts are headed there. The rest of the post for The Urban Daddy are sitting in my drafts folder. There is something like 113 of them in there.
Another problem is that as my readership increases I feel some responsibility to actually make sense in my posts. Gone are the days of 10 readers per day and me writing posts at 1am. Now I write, edit, review, fact-check, edit then save to drafts.
I’m going to write more… I promise.
You can also find some of my thoughts when I’m too lazy to blog them over at my Facebook page; www.facebook.com/TheUrbanDaddy or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/realurbandaddy. I’m on Tumblr, Google Plus, Pinterest… Everywhere, but those are the main 3. Please “like” me and add me where possible. I always add back.
12. Are you affiliated with that big Urban Daddy website in the US?
Nope. They did ask me, however, to kindly hand over my social media sites which are in the name “Urban Daddy”. I politely declined since I was blogging as Urban Daddy before they came to be. So I asked them kindly to hand over ownership of all their social media sites to me. I never heard back, lol, but soon thereafter all the URLs which were close to mine were scooped up.
I also get a LOT of pitches and product-testing requests but I politely turn them down if they are not something I would not use, or if they are not going to directly benefit you guys – my readership – but I love to get them from local (Canadian) companies because it’s easy for me to toss something onto my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/TheUrbanDaddy) if you have not gone there, go there now and like me. Please.
11. Why do blog about coffee?
Ohhh. I love coffee. But I’m more than just a medium roast kind of guy. I like adventure, and something different so I’m big into the flavours. I actually used to test the new flavours at Java Joe’s near my office – a treat for me – which is where I fell in love with Blueberry coffee. Blueberry coffee, if you didn’t know is huge on the East coast of Canada and in the US, but for some reason has not hit the mainstream here in TO as of yet.
Blueberry is way better than, for example, Raspberry Chocolate coffee, and light-years better than Irish Cream or boring Vanilla Hazelnut.
So now where can you buy this coffee you ask…
Well since you all cannot come over to my house, you will be thrilled to learn that there is an amazing Canadian company called Java Works Coffee(http://www.javaworkscoffee.ca/) , out of Mississauga, Ontario, and they sell coffee and teas to restaurants, offices and – yay – customers through their factory outlet. So on Friday I dropped in to this store and was blown away with the selection, the staff and the smell when you first walk into the door. WOW.
I left with some teas and 1lb bags of the following coffees;
- Blueberry Bliss
- French Toast
- Cinnamon Apple Spice
- Mint Chocolate Chip
After testing them all I can say that each one is better than the next.
10. Do you really like Wrestling?
Yes. Like it a lot. And yes, I know it is fake. I’ve been watching this male soap opera since I was a boy (which is a really long time ago!) If you gotta problem with that, come see my and I’ll put you in a headlock, then powerbomb you. :)
9. The best Daddy blogs usually are written by Stay at Home Dads (SAHD). Why?
Funny. I’ve always felt that the SAHM (Stay at home Mom) blogs are the best, and clearly the Dads are right up there now because they are there with the kids and doing the things that many of us do on a daily basis. I have always said that I felt no one wants to read a blog about kids from a parent who works full-time unless they are able to spend enough time with the kids, or capture a moment, which will make good print. I just wish I had more time to read these great blogs…
8. Would you consider yourself a parent expert? Why or why not?
I would and only because I have 3 children and after changing many diapers, and being there for feedings, changings, programs, school, school events, I can honestly say that I sacrificed my career to spend time with my kids and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
7. Where in the world are you?
I’m everywhere! LOL. No really. I’m in Toronto, Ontario. Canada. A very large, beautiful city in the best country in the world.
6. How Conservative are your views?
Fiscally conservative – Very.
A lot of my other views tend to learn more towards the centre from the left side. So I feel people should work for their money, and if they use that money to buy things for themselves, others do not have the right to steal from them, however if people are unable to work – really unable to work, that they should be a social network to allow them to live above the poverty line and be able to contribute to society in whatever ways they can,
5. I see you post a lot about IVF. Is it because you used it?
Actually no. We were fortunate enough to not need IVF, however from a moral and financial perspective, I feel that governments should fund IVF treatments for those families who want it. The savings to our tax system would be huge and it’s a really nice thing for governments to do while trying to figure out why infertility is on the rise.
4. What are some other great blogs you can recommend?
I have actually been meaning to prepare a Friday blog post called the “Friday Follow Five” and use that to go to a favourite blog I follow, then read the first post, and use either the comments on that post or the blogroll on the side to go to another blog, then do the same until I have read and summarized 5 posts and provided details in the post. In the meantime, please visit the blogs in my blogroll. They’re amazing.
3. How long have you been blogging and how long will it take me to get readers?
Well, I’ve been blogging since 2004 and to be honest, make sure you do it for love and not for getting famous because it takes a LOT of TLC to get a blog off the ground. Essentially, you need to not use my blog as the model, because you need to post frequently, read and comment on other blogs often, build relationships with your readers, and write things others want to read. Having a pretty blog, and nice title, and the proper length articles is also important…
2. Your posts are too long. Some are really off-topic. Why do you do that?
LOL. I get this a lot.
They are not off-topic for people who come here randomly looking for specific topics. I do, however, agree that I am long-winded and I try to fix it, but I just can’t. I talk this way too. I have to build up the back-story before I get to the point.
Knowing that I blog under the title “The Urban Daddy” as a Dad in urban-Toronto, would you believe that my most popular post ever has to do with the Secret Menu at Starbucks, followed closely by my evaluation of the Canadian Live-In Caregiver Program.
So as I approach 1000 posts, I can honestly say that I get a LOT of views from the Philippines after Canada and the US. I would NEVER have expected that back on 2004 when I had 10 views a week.
1. Why are you still blogging?
I don’t really know. I think I would feel lost without it and when I look back and see my earlier posts I am amazed at some of the things I have gone through since I had kids. More importantly, and the real reason to keep it going is because as my kids get older (my oldest is 8-years-old) and they start to ask questions or look for stories about when they were young, I know I can pull up a post and let them read the details. It’s always a good laugh.