Random Children Car Conversations: “That Really Sucks, Eh?”


Driving in the car with children, as you all well know, can be either a pleasure or a pain depending on a number of factors usually beyond our control as parents.  In fact, children even have the ability to be educational or hilarious in the car, if they want, but being disruptive and difficult is usually the easiest.

Every now and then they say something funny, brilliant or even hilarious, which must be shared with the world…

A couple of weeks ago, while driving in the car with the children, our 9-year-old son, Linus began a rather short discussion with my wife which showed us that he is finally understanding the meaning of life and that – as we’ve been saying all along – life ain’t fair.

pumpkin stairs
Not related to the post, but rather the weather! Our steps last fall.

I had to share it!

Linus: “Mummy, you know when you find that perfect spot in bed that is so comfortable and warm and then, of course, you have to get up to pee and when you come back to bed, you cannot find that spot again?”

Mummy: “Yes”
Linus: “That sucks, eh?”

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere


It’s Sunday morning and I have 2 of my 3 kids at home.  My middle child was taken to the SkyZone Indoor Trampoline Park for an hour of jumping and bouncing excitement, and since he’s the one who plays school with our youngest, it means I have to find a way to convince my 9-year-old to do his homework and my 4-year-old to let him do his homework.

After some “discussions” or really “negotiations” my 9-year-old has finished his math homework for Spirit of Math and my 4-year-old has gone from playing with her toys, to sitting on me, to practicing piano and now to wandering the house looking lost.

At one point she sat beside me while I was typing and she was staring at the side of my head.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” I asked.

“You’re so Cool!” she replied.  “You’re so cool, I can’t stop staring at you!”.

With that I have taken her to the basement to free her toys from the fort under the stairs, and set her off to set up her own area where she can play and have fun by herself while her brother and I dig into his social studies homework.

Anyone remember the dog from the TV show Frasier?

So THAT’s What Happened To The “Other” Kid…


I don’t even know where to start this gem, from my daughter…

I had cut a watermelon into chunks and was in the process of putting them into Pyrex so I could put them in the fridge when my daughter sauntered over to warm me about the perils of eating watermelon seeds;

Boo: “Daddy, be careful when you eat that watermelon not to eat the purple or the pink seeds”.

Me: “Errr, okay.  I won’t eat the purple or the pink seeds”.

Who knew...
Who knew…

Boo: “Remember my other brother, the third one (she only has 2 brother’s)?  He ate the pink and purple seeds… The pink ones!  And he turned into a watermelon and we all ate him.  Do you remember that?  I do”.

Me: Laughing.

Boo: “Yeah, I remember him.  I miss him, but he tasted good.  His name was, ummm, Josh.  Yeah.  Josh”.

Me: Still laughing.

Boo: “So, yeah, Daddy… Please don’t eat the pink or purple  seeds.  Think of poor Josh”.

Away she walked.

#Only4

 

Looking For Structure While Adding Responsibilities To The Children? See How Our School-Year Started!


Structure.

Consistency.

Responsibilities.

Independence.

All things we want our children to have, when they’re older, so they are able to lead fulfilling lives and, to be honest, so we don’t have to do everything for them.  But when is it the right time?

How about now!

A week before school started for my children – ages ranging from 9 to 4 – I started modeling the morning routine, while my wife and I continued to follow the exact same evening and bedtime routine she set in place when we had one child and he was still drooling and in diapers.  That consistency has clearly displayed our expectations of the children and it makes the time we have with them after school more organized and enjoyable.

(Nothing screams routine than the summer when for one week the kids had no programs, no camp, and were going crazy looking for things to do.  “I’m bored” was a common expression of frustration from the kids many times during each and every day.)

With all that being said, here is the schedule I presented to the children on Labour Day, and we worked through today, their first day of school.  I’m sure there will be some tweaking done, but I can say that this morning’s routine was the smoothest it has been in a long time – for them and for me!

Children’s Schedule for the 2014 / 2015 School Year.

Good Morning!

Before you come downstairs in the morning, please:
• Make Your Bed
• Get Dressed
• Clean Room / Tidy the floor

Kitchen Routine:
• Say good morning to your father and to each other
• Drink a glass / cup of water
• Have a piece of fruit
• Help with, or make your own, breakfast
• Eat it

When You Have Finished Breakfast:
• Rinse off your dishes
• Place them in the dishwasher, or
• Wash them, dry them and put them away
• Make sure your place is clean (no food on your chair or the floor)

Help with Lunches:
• Make sure your lunch box is out, and put in it;
• Nori
• Vegetables
• Apples sauce with a spoon
• Fill your water bottle

Go Upstairs To Your Bathroom:
• Wash your face
• Brush your hair
• Wait for Daddy to help you brush your teeth

*Hug and Kiss Mummy

Front door:
• Sunscreen on / Snowpants on
• Make sure your glasses are in your bag
• Place your lunch and water bottle in your bag

8am – LEAVING the house to walk to school.

Home from school:
• Wash your hands
• Bring your lunch box to the kitchen and empty it
• Put dishes in dishwasher
• Put lunchbox on the counter
• Empty your water bottle
• Put water bottle on the counter

Free Time:
• Play / read / relax / enjoy.
• NO electronics during the week
• NO TV during the week

Dinner Prep:
• Come to the kitchen to see what you can do to help with dinner
• Set the kitchen table – plates, cutlery, glasses, napkins, water, and the mats in the middle of the table

Homework Time:
• Practice piano
• Spirit of Math
• Regular homework

Dinner Time:
• When You Are Finished, Ask to be Excused
• Thank Mummy for making you another amazing dinner
• After dinner take your plate, cutlery and glass to the counter. Put your napkin in the recycling under the sink
• Rinse plate and cutlery and place in the dishwasher
• Place glass in the dishwasher

Before Bed:
• Put everything in your bag for tomorrow and place it at the front door.
• If you are having a snack, make sure you clean up properly afterwards
• Put your dirty clothes into your hamper
• Brush your teeth
• Floss
• Hugs and Kisses
• NO coming out of bed! Get a good night’s sleep for another amazing day tomorrow.

Good night and sleep tight!

We love you!

 

The kids love the schedule, although my boys prefer a much simpler routine based on the current WWE Champion Brock Lesner;

EatEatSleepConquerRepeat

Sleep

Conquer

Repeat.

 

Parents, How Often Has THIS Happened To You?


Parents, how often has THIS happened to you?

I came into my oldest son’s bedroom this morning and on his night table was not one, but 2 tubes of toothpaste.

He was still sleeping.

I had to ask, so I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Good morning Linus!” I said.

“Hi Daddy”, was his cheery reply.

“Why are there 2 tubes of toothpaste on your night table?” I asked, without judgement.

“For the commercial!” he replied.

“Oh” I said as I thought better of asking more questions. “You can sleep more if you would like”.

“Thanks Daddy”.