We had the pleasure this past weekend to be in the car with our two boys as they decided to have a conversation about death.
Linus is 7-years-old.
Stewie is 5-years-old.
Berry is 2 1/2 years old.
Stewie; “You’re going to die two years before me because you’re two years older than me.”
Linus; “That’s not true. I’m so going to live longer than you, I’m healthier than you.”
Stewie; ” That’s not true. You’re a poo”.
Linus; “I didn’t have any treats yesterday so I’m healthier than you and I’m going to live longer than you”.
Stewie; “You’re still going to die before me.”
Us: “Stop! No more talk about death, okay!!!”
Stewie on his way to school to his mummy; “Mummy, it would not be fun to be an ant”.
Us to Stewie; “Stewie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
A sign your children watch too much wrestling on TV…
Berry to Linus; “I’m going to chokeslam you. Go away!!!”
Stewie to me; “Daddy, can you lift the world?”
Me; “No, not today son.”
Him; “Mark Henry can (wrestler formerly the “World’s Strongest Man”)
Stewie to his mummy; “Mummy you can buy a dreydl out of water for Berry cause she’s your daughter. See, it rhymes… Water. Daughter”.
Me; “But a dreydl out of water?!? Really?”
Him; “Oh yeah”.
- Ah, those kids and the things they say… Was I this clever / funny as a kid? I doubt it. (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)
- Stuff Stewie Said This Weekend: Random Comments of a 5-Year-Old Boy (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)
I am totally serious here, folks. I went to school for 12 years (didn’t need grade 13), I went to University for 5 years, and then after taking a bunch of courses here and there, I did a 3 year graduate degree. By my math, that puts me at 20 years of school. Today, I am turning 41-years-old, so that means I have been in school for almost half my life and still, my kids say, do and know things that blow me away.
A few examples are below.
This past weekend I realized that I watch a lot of wrestling on TV, when Mark Henry came on the TV and Linus blurted out, “Hey Stewie! It’s the World’s strongest man, Mark Henry”. Then of course came the questions from Stewie as to whether Mark Henry could have helped me take the treadmill downstairs instead of coach Eric, and if he would have needed just one pinkie or if he could tuck it under his arm and go.
Later in the day I was singing the theme song from new WWE star Brodus Clay and I blurted out, “Gonna call my doctor…” when Berry corrected me and said; “NO, daddy. Gonna call my Momma”… and so she sang, Should she know this???
Later that day, I sang “Gonna call my Momma” when she stopped me and said, “I don’t want to call my momma. I want to call my doctor”, and so she sang.
Another interesting thought from Stewie occurred when he asked the urban mummy if she still had her sweet tooth. Laughing, she said that she did, to which he replied, “Good! Otherwise all food would taste like dirt!”
I love listening to Berry call her brothers. She yells, “Brothers? Where are you brothers?”
Tonight, during dinner, Berry wanted to pee, and I wanted one of her brothers to take her, but she wanted me to take her. I was in the middle of making a batch of homemade pancakes. and really didn’t want to take her. I tried rationalizing with her – a no no, I know – and I explained to her, but when I was about to give up, Stewie blurted out; “Berry! You want ice cream? There is an ice cream truck in the bathroom. Go with Linus.” In a second she was gone to the bathroom with Linus so I could finish making dinner.
Also, we have a rule in the house that the kids are not allowed to climb over the couches. They do anyways, but we try to keep them from using it as a jungle gym. Today, after telling Stewie to stop climbing over the couch for the 7th time, I resorted to some good old fashion attention getting and when he jumped up I took the spatula and whacked him on his little behind. He spun, squinted his eyes at me, frowned disapprovingly at me, then said, “Don’t smack me with that spatula Daddy”. I replied to him, “But I’ve asked you 6 other times not to climb over the couch and I even told you if you did, I would remind you not to, even if it meant smacking your behind – not to hurt, but to help you remember”. At which point, he looked me right in the eyes and said, I’m telling mummy” and on came the tears.
He played me.
Linus got me today too, when someone asked me what 126 + 38 was and as I was calculating it in my head, Linus had already said 164 3 times. Oy.
So after these few examples, I ask you all, parents, have you found your kids do or say things which are way beyond their years? Like when you need your kids to program your iPad, much in the same way your parents needed you to program the VCR.
I’d love to hear your stories too.
- It’s been a while… How are you? (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)
This is also my 800th post. Whew.