Congrats to all the 2013 Bloggie Finalists and Winners!

WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Congrats to all the 2013 Bloggie Finalists and Winners!.

The link is to a really great post from Michelle W., who writes for WordPress.com, about the 2013 Bloggies, specifically the 11 WP bloggers who were among the finalists and winners.  Please read the original post.

“The 2013 Bloggie winners were announced on March 24, and we were excited to see eleven WordPress.com bloggers among the finalists and winners.

Now in its 13th year, the Bloggie awards accept blog nominations for everything from Best Craft Weblog to Best-Kept Secret Weblog, winnowing down the nominees through rounds of voting until five finalists remain in each of its 30 categories.

The Urban Daddy was a daddyblogging juggernaut, picking up nominations for Best Canadian Weblog and Best Parenting or Family Weblog.”

“Of the other nominees, 80 are self-hosted sites running the free WordPress software available at WordPress.org – which means that a whopping 68% of this year’s Bloggie finalists and winners are powered by WordPress!”

Nominations for the Bloggies generally open on January 1st of each year, so if you did not see any of your favourite blogs among this year’s finalists, make sure to nominate them (or yourself) in 2014 here.

Congratulations to this year’s nominees and winners!

How awesome is this!!!

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Thursday Thirteen: 13 Things I Need My Children to Remember as they Grow up.

English: Pink colour (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Often, I see lists, like the one I am posting today, about things we want our children to know, learn, remember and respect, and these lists are often quite to the point if not a little on the comedic side.  My Thursday Thirteen, however, is a little different from the norm as I have provided thirteen things that I need my children – Linus, Stewie and Boo – to remember as they grow up.  On the bright side, if they ever forget (and I have not completely embarrassed them by the time I cease blogging), they can always find it here.

As parents it is our job to teach and shape our children so that one day when they begin to develop their own opinions they will be able to use what they learned from us to shape their thoughts on things they didn’t know – so they won’t hurt anyone (especially themselves) along the way.   To do otherwise by your children, would – in my opinion – be considered failure as a parent.

Here are the thirteen things I need my kids to remember as they grow up;

13. To my boys: Pink is a colour, much as red, blue, black and green. Liking pink doesn’t mean anything except that you like the colour. If someone tells you otherwise you have to remember that it’s their problem, not yours. At some point in their life, someone tied to colour pink to a negative stereotype which simply does not exist. It’s okay to buy pink items, pink clothes and paint a room pink.

12. All (My 2 boys and my girl): Your nose is NOT an appropriate place to stick your finger – and this rule always stands, whether you are 3, 7, 8 or 38. If you do visit there, in the solitude of your own room, or home, it is NOT okay to them put that finger in your mouth, on your bed, or on your clothes. If, however, you choose to pick your nose, then you must have either a kleenex or square of toilet paper for when you are finished and wash your hands after. Remember that if your hands are dirty and you place a finger in your nose (or mouth) you are putting germs in your body. You will get sick. In addition, people think it’s yucky. Don’t be that yucky kid that turns into the yucky teen, then the creepy booger-eating adult. Please.

11. All: Respect others’ personal space and belongings. There are written rules which need to obeyed when you are in a home and there are some unwritten rules which you must follow so that you will . You need to respect others and their possessions. I know children will be children, but taking, breaking, hiding or damaging something that does not belong to you is not at all what I have in mind when it comes to creating art or playful fun. Neither is it fun to touch, push, trip or get in the face of someone for any reason. In fact, this is a lesson in doing it all WRONG! If you did this to my belongings or got in my face, I would not be happy.

10. Accept others for who they really are.  In an age where bullying has taken centre stage among our youth, I hope I have taught you to see the value in differences. Race, religion, colour, accents, or dress, interests, hair style or colour, ability or disability… It doesn’t matter.  See past it all and realize that we are all humans on this planet.

9. It is okay to cry. Crying is a natural emotional response to feelings. We all do it. Men cry. Women cry. Children cry. If you begin to cry and someone calls you a baby just remember that they learned this at home and they are being taught to hold in their emotions. Feel sorry for them but don’t allow them to change how you act or how you feel.

8. Always be proud of who YOU are. You may not be the tallest kid, or the fastest, or have the best hair, but really now, who cares? As long as you stay true to who you are, everything else will fall into place.

7. Find your passion. Keep looking and searching. Never ever stop.

6. Love this planet we live on called “Earth”. Recycle, reduce, reuse.  Go as “green” as you can by being aware of how you live, shop, and of what you consume (and where that comes from).  Now go join your mother and I hug a tree.

5. Be a brother / sister. Be a friend. Be a protector. Always be good to your family, even when there is conflict. Always remember that you are all that you have. Spouses and friends are great but at the end of the day you should know and have the support of your brother/sister when you need it.  Just don’t take advantage.

4. Smart is cool. Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math (or tax). Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths you can imagine.

3. All: Your body is just that, it’s your body. You can keep your hair any way or colour that you want and you can dress any way that you want, but you must remember that others will judge you and it will impact how others treat you. So long as you understand that, you may continue. Don’t let pop culture define you. I don’t know why, but today we let pop culture manipulate our youth and it’s killing them emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. From the early on fascination with princesses, to the ‘need’ for a boyfriend and big boobs, popularity, teen moms, and all the other garbage being thrown in their face – be confident going against the grain or you’ll risk selling yourself out.

2. Maintain your health. It’s life’s greatest asset.  Without good health you have nothing.  A positive approach to health encompasses physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  Healthy lifestyle choices we taught you in your youth have already helped to lay a strong foundation for continued wellness throughout your adult life.  In addition, a healthy diet, plenty of exercise, stress management, self-motivation, and remaining positive will have a huge impact on your quality of life, health, and happiness.  Honourable mention: Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Laughter is humbling. It inspires and motivates.  It keeps you real.

1. Wherever you are in life, you can come home. I will be here – always. ♥ Daddy. Remember children that you will all be my favourite children forever (and equally for your own strengths and inspirations). If you don’t believe me, ask Mummy. She will tell you the same thing.

Active for Life: Great Resource AND Cool Steve Nash Contest. Details Inside

Steve Nash(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I recently came across a cool contest run by an organization called Active For Life.  Active for Life happens to be a leading promoter of children’s physical literacy to help parents raise active and healthy kids and they are kick-starting their new year to get families thinking about getting active with an exciting contest for a chance to win a Luyou shoe autographed by Steve Nash, himself a Dad and an advocate for physical literacy, and $200 SportChek gift certificate.

This contest is currently running and it’s worth heading over to the site to see some great current articles such as;

Tips to manage your kids handheld media time, which can be found here;

or “Soccer Skills, not Trophies, leads to success” which can be found here.

As a Dad blogger, I hadn’t really heard of physical literacy before seeing this, but I’ve learned an incredible amount over the last few months and this site is great for offering suggestions to keep children active and healthy.

Active for Life is the place where parents go to learn about how to make a difference in the health and happiness of their children. Research shows there’s a right way and a right time to develop the fundamental movement and sport skills that benefit kids for their entire lives. Learning these basic movement and sports skills is known as becoming physical literate.

Being physically literate is the foundation for being successful in sport and in life. Physical literacy gives active kids the best chance at becoming top-level athletes who may someday compete in high-performance sport. It also results in them leading an active life. And as the word “literacy” implies, just like reading, writing and arithmetic, movement skills need to be taught.

The website offers expert advice, inspirational tips and activity ideas which can help us, as parents, make sure our children get their recommended daily amount of physical activity and we all know that active kids become active adults.

Physical literacy, is about giving our kids the physical foundational skills to enable them to stay active for life – able to participate in a range of physical activities.  What I like about this in particular is the down-to-earth information and articles that provide practical direction in how to incorporate physical literacy into family life and some of the do’s and don’ts around it to help us get it right.  Their website is a magazine format that provides a ton of information and a very cool skills-builder tool which helps when we want to look at what skills to work on with kids at a given age.

You can find out more and enter the contest here.

It’s a great cause, and a very cool contest.  Active for Life can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

Back after being Missing in Action

Cleaning the Toto Toilets

You may have noticed that I had gone missing in action for a couple weeks.  With only a couple posts popping up here and there, I feel like I’ve lost my mojo after all this time without blogging, and it’s not like there is nothing to write / bitch about either, but in actual fact I’ve just been tired.  Very tired actually, and it all began with our nannies vacation back home, which began November 16th and ends with her return to us on January 14th.

7 long weeks in which I thought that, since I was off, would be the perfect time to help out and instead of hiring someone to temporarily file her role, I could do it myself and spend quality time with my daughter, my wife, and with my boys.   How hard could it be, right?  I’m their dad.  I know how to clean up a house…

Mistake #1.

Not only has it been impossible for me to take care of the house and the children while also taking care of the things I would normally do in a day, but it became perfectly clear to me that going to bed at 3am every night was not going to help me get everything done.

Mistake #2.

I clearly underestimated the amount of cleaning that a house with three children under 7-years-old requires.  Thankfully my wife got them on a reward chart (a later post) so they help with making beds and cleaning up around meal time, but the laundry, dishes, taxi, drop-off and pick-up and the endless need to sweep and vacuum is too much.  I don’t know how my wife does it, and I certainly don’t know how our nanny does it – except that when there are three adults cleaning it’s much more effective than 1 1/2.

Granted I have now come to realize that my wife and our nanny are WAY more organized than I have been – Monday has always been the day to change the sheets, and Tuesday the house gets swept and vacuumed and floor washed, but drop-off and pick-up has been something we’ve helped with, and meal’s taken care of primarily by my wife, so doing them all… Yeah.  Not so good.

So obviously once I settle down at night with hopes of blogging, there is nothing left in the tank.

In addition, my daughter, Boo has finally realized now that she is 3-years-old that she can get out of her bed at night and walking into our room.  We were encouraging her to get up and pee since she has been “commando” at night for several months with only a few accidents.  The hope was that she would get up, pee, then go back to bed instead of sitting in her bed and screaming for us or crying and waking everyone else up.  What has happened in actual fact is that she now comes into our room several times at night, along with 6-year-old Stewie and that keeps up awake.  Now 7-year-old Linus is getting into the act and that means either a rough night’s sleep or I’m sleeping in one of their beds with them.

Either way, it means I am getting less than 3 hours of sleep a night and that is a recipe for getting sick.

Now before you cry me a river or blast me for doing what every other parent in the world does, hear me out… My wife is still taking care of dinner (thankfully) and it did take me a week and a bit to get used to the house-time routine from a worker perspective.  I have been working full-time for 17 years and while I am used to helping out as much as possible it has usually been in the evenings or on the weekends when there are little to no distractions.

During the day when people are actually around and a 20-minute task of changing the sheets on all our beds, becomes an hours’ endeavour full of distractions and competing priorities.  I also cannot just clean for the sake of cleaning, like when I swept the bedrooms, I ended up moving all the furniture, sweeping, putting away the toys, followed it up with a vacuum and then washed the floors and baseboard.  When I do something, I do it right, not half-assed so I’ll have to do it again.

So while it took me 3 weeks to get this post out there is always a bright side, right?  I completed this post on the 20th, but I’m backdating it to the 15th and that means as of today we only have 22 days until our nanny returns and life returns to normal, which means a clean house, happy children and my daughter can get to school in the morning on time for once!

I can see the re-posted headline for this article;  ”Working Daddy Bombs as Caregiver”.

So true.

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10 Ways to Tell if your Nanny Loves your Children

I recently received this article in my inbox from the kind folks at http://www.nanny.net and it covers a very important topic, how to tell if your nanny loves your child.

I think every first time employer, or an employer currently interviewing for a replacement caregiver should go through this list as it should help you understand when a connection has been made.  Having the emotional buy-in from your nanny in addition to the financial buy-in is critical to long-term success of this partnership and a way to keep your stress down.

Sometimes, you need a nanny and the nanny needs a job, and you both compromise and these relationships often end abruptly not because something has gone wrong but over time you both start to come to grips with the fact that it is just a job.  It’s easier to let go of those relationships than if there is an emotional buy-in, we all know that.  So if you have the time, see if there is a connection and if so and you can make it work do so.  Any child would be overjoyed to have that much love and both the employer and the caregiver will have an easier time on a day-to-day basis.

The link to the original article is below.

http://www.nanny.net/blog/10-ways-to-tell-your-nanny-loves-your-kids/

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What can you expect from your nanny: Non-child care responsibilities.

Light housekeeping?!?

Parents hire nannies to take care of their children.  There is also an expectation that there will be some non-child care responsibilities related to the role, such as; taking care of any dishes used, some cooking here and there, some light cleaning associated to the children or family and possibly some laundry. 

From all the emails and comments I have received over the years, it is accurate to say that some parents forget that the primary responsibility for a nanny is child care and there is an expectation that their nannies are able to take care of the children in addition to what they refer to as ”light housekeeping” responsibilities, which in reality means nanny and cleaning-lady. 

So what constitutes “light housekeeping?”   

In order to get a clearer idea of what nannies think light housekeeping is and what employers think light housekeeping is, I read an article created for NannyClassifieds.com called; “Is Light Housekeeping a Nanny Responsibility?”  The link to the original article is here;  http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/blog/is-light-housekeeping-is-a-nannys-responsibility/

According to this article, in the nanny world, light housekeeping typically means leaving the home in the same condition it was in when the nanny arrived / started her day there.  If there were no dishes in the sink in the morning, then there should be no dishes in the sink at the end of the day, and if the house was spotless in the morning, it should be the same by nightfall.  It is reasonable to expect your nanny to clean up the mess and restore the house to its original morning condition prior to the end of her workday.

The extras are the other things in addition to childcare which nannies are generally responsible for and are usually agreed upon in a written contract – a written approved contract if gone through the Canadian Live-In Caregiver program.  Some of these items include;

• Do the laundry for the children
• Keep the children’s play area as neat, tidy and organized as possible.
• Prepare breakfast for the children before school, lunch for school and snacks for the kids attending school.
• Prepare the same for any children who are at home or attend school part of the day.  
• Ensure that after meal preparation and after the actual meal the kitchen is clean again.
• Engage the children in activities such as arts and crafts and reading, and ensure once finished the area is tidy
• Pick up after the children
• Ensure the kids rooms, including drawers, bed and closets are clean
• Prepare the same for any children who are at home or attend school part of the day.
• Ensure that after meal preparation and after the actual meal the kitchen is clean again.
• Engage the children in activities such as arts and crafts and reading, and ensure once finished the area is tidy
• Prepare breakfast for the children before school, lunch for school and snacks for the kids attending school.

Some nannies may also take on additional household related tasks provided they have the time and it has been pre-arranged and agreed upon.  They may do the children’s grocery and clothes shopping, as well as purchase the supplies needed to properly stock the nursery.  In some cases, nannies may also be responsible for ordering age-appropriate supplies, toys, and arts and crafts, depending on the arrangement that was made.

According to the article, nannies typically do not:
• Do the parent’s laundry
• Clean the parent’s bathrooms
• Mop the floors
• Dust the furniture
• Prepare family meals regularly.

In each family and nanny work arrangement, light housekeeping should be clearly defined.  What is in the contract dictates what the family’s housekeeping expectations are, and what the nanny’s housekeeping responsibilities are. 

Many nannies do agree to take on additional non-childcare related housekeeping tasks.  They may do this because the children spend mornings in school or they simply enjoy cleaning and would gladly take on the housekeeping tasks in exchange for increased compensation.  If your nanny agrees to take on additional housekeeping tasks, she should be provided additional compensation for them and allowed adequate time to complete them when childcare is not her responsibility.  For these nannies/housekeepers, it should be stressed that when the children are in her care, childcare should be her main responsibility.  I think that is common sense, no?

Often times a nanny will go above and beyond the call of duty simply out of practicality. If a nanny is doing the dishes from lunch and her employer left a knife and dish in the sink after breakfast, for example, she’s likely going to wash them too, rather than simply leave them sitting there in the sink.  If a nanny is preparing one of her favorite homemade pasta recipes for the children’s dinner, she may make enough for the entire family, since it’s easier than tweaking the recipe for smaller portions.  Much in the same way most families when making their dinner will make enough for their nanny and have them eat with them whenever possible.  It’s give and take, and that mutual respect and understanding helps form and build the bond between the nanny and her employer.

Wen these random acts of kindness become expected by employers through, resentment and relationship problems in the nanny relationship can occur.  Light housekeeping is going to mean different things to different people.  Clearly articulating the duties and responsibilities that meet an employer’s definition of light housekeeping will help to prevent job creep and miscommunication over housekeeping related expectations.

How have you divided up responsibilities and how clear were you with your nanny on her duties outside of child care?

It’s amazing to me how many employers post comments in public message boards about how their nannies cook, clean, take care of the kids, and do all these other tasks not related to child care, and then the employer answers questions about wages and working hours, or working conditions which really casts them in a negative light.  Taking advantage of a nannies good will is never cool, and posting that in a public form is even less cool and quite questionable.  Especially in light of the fact that these message boards are trolled by agencies and organizations who protect nannies from being taken advantage of.

So to sum it all up…

Make sure what you are expecting your nanny to do outside of child care is clear and written in the contract.  Also remember that just because they came from worse working conditions in Hong Kong it doesn’t give you the right to treat them in any way that you yourself would not want to be treated in their shoes.

Karma.

Here is a link to the article; http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/blog/is-light-housekeeping-is-a-nannys-responsibility/

Happy 6th Birthday Stewie!

Happy 6th Birthday Stewie!

Stewie!

Finally you are 6-years-old today (tonight to be more specific). Wow.

To be honest, it kind of feels like you’ve been 6 for a long time already.   You and you almost 8-year-old brother are often mistaken for twins.  You eat the most at one seating than your family, including me, and I’ve been known to pack back the food in my day.  You are strong like a bull, like your father, which you proved to us and a bunch of 6-year-old’s when you singlehandedly helped your team win a tug-of-war where you were the anchor.  You are driven, determined, serious, focussed and everything else that people look at and follow up with “wow”.  Quite frankly if I didn’t see your birth with my own eyes, I would have thought you were switched at birth.

I mean you are the reason why I herniated the disc in my back – because until you were 10 months old, you refused to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time.  I carried you morning, noon and night – even though all you wanted was food and mummy.   Mummy also had Linus to take care of, so it was me or the cry-way.  Tough luck for you!   You were stuck with me.

Looking back now I should have known how you would be at 6-years-old… When you were born – a planned home birth – your breathing was shallow so the mid-wives stepped out of our bedroom to call 911 (forgetting that our parents were on the main floor listening and becoming quite worried - I remember my mother calling me as the mid-wives were explaining that calling for backup just in case was a standard practice from babies with shallow breathing - asking me if everything was alright because she heard the call, whereas we did not.  But after seeing what you did when you were given oxygen by the mid-wives - you ripped the tube from your mouth over and over again, we all knew you would be just fine!  You didn’t want it.  You didn’t need it.  You didn’t have it.

Fast forward to today and you are the same size and weight as your 7-year-old brother.  You look older than you are, you act older than you are and you have an old soul who comes across as a kind, compassionate boy who asks really great questions – some not so great mind you (If Big Show fought all the birds in the world, who would win?).

You love school but get frustrated that you’re not learning fast enough – like after the 2nd day when you wanted to quit school because you were colouring with crayons and you could do that at home, you certainly didn’t need to go to school for that – and you get frustrated when your classmates talk during class or (gasp) try to talk to you when there is work to be done.  You also somehow failed to mention to us last year that you were reading at a beginning grade 2 level when you were finishing senior kindergarten.  You excel at karate and swimming.  You are a trusting friend until someone does you wrong, then you have a memory of an elephant, yet your big brother is your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time.  You two fight, then within a few minutes you’ve made up and are playing together again like nothing happened.

You have a very strong sense of justice, and as a result you always protect your brother and sister and I’ve often told the story about how, when you were 2-years-old, a 6-year-old boy took your brother’s balloon. After he had asked for it back, unsuccessfully, you stepped in and grabbed this boy by the shirt, looked him in the eyes and said “I’m going to throw you in the garbage!”  He handed you the balloon and quickly walked away.  You passed that balloon to your brother and went on playing like nothing happened.

You are a piano whiz, and you said you want to try the violin and learn your way up, trying all the string instruments, until you get to the big ones, like a cello.

When asked what you want to be when you grow up, you replied with; “Everything!” I finally got you to confirm it was because you wanted to know what you would really be good at want to do for the rest of your life.

When I blog about things you have said, like punching G-d, my hits go through the roof.  You’re very funny, and the reason we started a Twitter account for you, called @LittleBoyPurple which we don’t update any more, but you probably will one day because you’re a hoot!

So, son, I want to wish you a very happy 6th birthday.  I love you and please, keep feeding me the material, and let me know when that middle child syndrome has set in. 

Not just for the nannies: Signs you may be getting fired!

I have really come to appreciate how those in the nanny industry feed me articles that they think may fit with my readership since more and more, I get the biggest bang for my buck (reads and comments) on these posts, and the agencies benefit from the extra readership of their articles.  It’s a win-win situation.

I especially like when they are well written and cover off more than just the nanny industry as this post does.  This post came to me from www.4nannies.com, entitled “Nanny Alter: Signs you’re getting fired”. Not only will this article help nannies understand some very key signs that their employers are giving them but if noticed early enough, then maybe the behaviour can be changed and prevent the termination, or at the very least they can understand there is a separation looming and they should start looking.

As I read through this article I realized these warning signs do not just apply to nannies, caregivers and au pairs, but they also cross into other areas of employment and would therefore be of assistance to everyone in helping them realize the signs their employers are giving them and when it might just be time to move on.

Here are some of the most obvious clues from this wonderful article:

1) Your employer has started to correct the way you carry out tasks or comment on ways you handle situations.  Important in the nanny-world because it shows that something they may have tolerated for a period of time is something they are no longer tolerating.  If the pattern continues it shows the employer that may you just cannot handle the job and over time your employer will look for someone who can.

2) You have a discussion about your “attitude” and you notice theirs is changing.  If your employer has come right out and mentioned that you have a bad attitude it’s almost certain that your attitude has rubbed them the wrong way for a period of time and they are getting fed up and starting to think that someone else would certainly have a better attitude.  You will also notice that in their frustration that they will no longer tolerate your attitude or shrug it off as being a bad day, but you will see that they will start giving you attitude right back because they figure you hate your job and are leaving or they would be doing you a favour by letting you go.

3) Your employer stops asking or caring about your personal life.  This is all part of the distancing process which many people need in order to convince themselves that they can do without you and helps them cope better during the termination.  It’s hard to  fire a friend so employers tend to distance themselves first.  It’s a key sign.

4) You start to feel like you cannot meet their expectations.  If you are finding that there are expectations on you and the position you occupy and that you are not meeting or exceeding these expectations then I guarantee you that your employer knows it too.  It might be a good time to have a discussion with your employer around those expectations and talk to them about what they are really expecting and what you realistically accomplish.  After that discussion you both might realize that there is not a good fit between the two of you and maybe you make an agreement to work until a replacement is found and in the meantime you will begin to look for a new employer.  That is much better than getting 2 weeks notice and looking for a role in desperation.

5) You begin to notice signs towards a search for your replacement.  If you start to hear rumours of your employer interviewing others for your position or you find out there are interviews going on for your position then you might want to get moving on looking for a new position right away.  You might also want to approach your employer to discuss it, so that you can mutually agree on when to expect to have to collect your belongings and move on.  It’s also a great time to get a reference from your employer for your next role and even to see if they know anyone looking.  It’s much easier doing that when you are still there and on good terms.

The article was posted here; http://www.4nannies.com/blog/nanny-alert-signs-youre-getting-fired/

Getting fired is never easy, but it certainly doesn’t mean you’re a bad employee or a bad human being.  In the nanny world it also shouldn’t mean the end of your relationship with the children you’ve cared for and come to love, and as an employee with your former colleagues and peers.   Even if the situation caught you by complete surprise and causes you much stress and financial difficulty it’s good to know that you did the best you could the whole time and you can feel good telling your next employer that there were other factors in play and if you left on good terms, your employer should be more than willing to let that next prospective employer know your strengths and weaknesses and still help you move on.

Related articles

• 5 Ways Nannies Can Help Divorced Parents – Reprinted with permission (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)
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5 Ways Nannies Can Help Divorced Parents – Reprinted with permission

I came across this interesting article from Hireananny.com and while not divorced, I thought there were some interesting points made in this post and wanted to re-post it here.  Permission was granted.

The link to the original article is here.

http://www.hireananny.com/blog/5-ways-nannies-can-help-divorced-parents/

Essentially, this post outlines how nannies help divorced couples ensure their child(ren) don’t get lost during this difficult time of their lives in 5 key ways.

1. Nannies can provide consistency of care.

We all know that with children of all ages it’s the routine that is key.  Bedtime routine, homework routine, daily and weekly chores, etc.  All of this is crucial to teaching children about consistency so it makes absolute sense how a nanny can help here.  By being there during separation and divorce and providing a schedule or routine for the child(ren) this allows the kid(s) to have that consistency while everything around them has changed.

2. Nannies can provide a sense of stability.

I can see where this is also an important unheralded role of a nanny when, as described above, everything in a child’s life is changing and the nanny remains the same.  It not only gives the child(ren) a non-partisan sounding board but it helps smooth out the chaos and disruption that ensues until both parental units and settled and have agreed upon the parenting roles going forward.

3. Nannies can advocate for the children.

 This point is probably the most important because the role of the nanny is to look after the best interest of the child(ren) regardless of the situation and especially in situations where the parents are not getting along the nanny can step forward and discuss with each party the issues relating to the kid(s) and can also alert the parents of any changes in the child(s) behaviour.  The nanny sees the child the most consistently so they would see behaviour issues, social issues, changes in the child’s physical being or any other concerns, milestones or warning signs.

4. Nannies can reassure children that it’s not their fault.

I think this point goes without saying that a nanny can help explain to a child that during the breakup of their parent’s marriage it is NOT the fault of the child.  Emotions on the parental unit’s sides may be too high and there may be a lot of finger-pointing and this is exactly the point when children need support and reinforcement telling them it’s not their fault.

5. Nannies can facilitate communication.

 

I think at this point it goes without saying that if you are separated, or a soon to be divorced parent considering hiring a nanny, it’s important that you select a nanny who is a solid communicator.   In addition, a detailed employee contract and agreeable custody schedule shared with the nanny will go a long way towards protecting the child(ren) as much as possible during the unrest.

Hireananny.com also feels that if a parent turns to the nanny as a confidant, while tempting, is not a good idea as it blurs professional lines and may prevent the nanny from doing her job well and jeopardize her ability to always put the child’s best interests first.

Related articles

• A nanny state as taxman turns on mums (dailytelegraph.com.au)
• Hiring a Nanny in the US: Not an Easy Task. (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)

Our weekend: A Day out with Thomas

This past weekend marked our third trip out to St.Thomas, Ontario, 20 minutes west of London, Ontario, to take a ride on Thomas the Tank engine with our kids.

The first trip was for Linus alone – he loved trains, especially Thomas.  2 years later is was Linus and Stewie and this year the 3 children with Berry being the most excited for the trip.  She was inconsolable her first ride on the subway and was practically in tears when the train pulled into the station, but she kept reassuring us on the train before the trip “I’m not going to cry”, that she would be okay.  Once the music started and the train started creeping slowly along the tracks for its 30 minute ride she proudly proclaimed “I’m not crying!”.  Once we got back in the station she summarized her trip by stating “I didn’t cry”.

Viola.

For those of you wondering about a Day out with Thomas, it is located in the Elgin County Railway Museum which is a registered non-profit charity with the function of preserving and restoring railway heritage for St. Thomas and  surrounding area.   The Elgin County Railway Museum is also known as the Railway Capital of Canada because a total of 26 railways have passed through town.  This is due to the location which is the 1913 former Michigan Central Railroad Locomotive Shops juxtaposed to the Canada Southern Railway.

You purchase your tickets online and you choose the time you would like to ride the train.  But be careful, if you miss your ride, they all book up quickly so you may not be able to hop on the next one, and because you have to book for a specific time, moving that time or date could be nearly impossible – this year we missed an opportunity to sleep at the Roger’s Centre after a Blue Jays game and a bris…

There are so many wonderful things to see for the train-lover of all ages, including locomotives, cabooses and other rolling stock. Additionally there are videos and historic photographs, railway artifacts, children’s activities, guided tours, music, food and more!

For the kids, in addition to the ride, they also receive an Official Jr. Engineer Certificate signed by Sir Topham Hatt – whom we met and had pictures taken with. 

Here is the Jr. Engineer Certificate Day Out With Thomas event.

After riding Thomas, taking a lot of pictures, doing some crafts indoors and then heading into town to grab a bite, we went to see Jumbo – the elephant hit by a train in 1885. 

A replica Jumbo was erected in 1985 to mark the 100th anniversary.  It was built in New Brunswick. 

Considering Berry’s favourite animal the past month has been the elephant, this was a great albeit short stop on a hot, humid weekend.

We like St. Thomas and London and enjoy hanging around for the weekend.  My wife and I have always felt that if the main strip in St. Thomas was cleaned up a little bit and had some more artsy stores it would be a wonderful tourist attraction because of its old town feel.  Some local crafts, local foods, cafe’s, etc. would be a huge draw.  Right now there are a lot of empty stores and some run down buildings.  Sad.

The city, located at the intersection of two historical roads, was first settled in 1810. It was named the seat of the new Elgin County in 1844 and was incorporated as a village in 1852, as a town in 1861.  In 1881 St. Thomas finally grew to become a city.  Ten years after the incorporation as a town ( in 1871 ), the developing village of Millersburg, which included these lands east of the London and Port Stanley Railway, amalgamated with St. Thomas.

In the late 19th century and early 20th century several railways were constructed through the city, and St. Thomas became an important railway junction. A total of 26 railways have passed through the city since the first railway was completed in 1856. In the 1950s and 1960s, with the decline of the railway as a mode of transportation, other industry began to locate in the city, principally primary and secondary automotive manufacturing.  There is a huge Ford plant in St. Thomas.

So check out the official Day out with Thomas website for events near you;

http://events.hitentertainment.com/us/day-out-with-thomas/index.asp