You want feedback? Let me tell you what I think about you and your blogging…

I for one, like feedback.  I’m a big boy.  I’m tough.  I can take it. 

I can take ”feedback” or criticism, whatever you want to call it and not let it bother me… Too much.

In learning how to take feedback I have also learned how and when to give feedback.  It’s an art, I tell you and let me state the obvious when I tell you that there are not too many people who can take feedback, and even fewer who can deliver it without the intent on offending or making the receiver feel inferior.

I actually started this post quite a while ago as a personal reflection post but I didn’t like the feel of the post, so I shelved it in my draft folder and have re-visited it several times to re-write it and alter its focus dramatically.  It’s not a post about me so much as it is a reflection about my management style and they way I like to interact with others – staff and children. 

But let’s be clear here folks, this is in no way a “how to manage your spouse” post because we all know our wives are always right!  Happy wife = happy life.

So how does one learn to give effective and timely feedback?  By asking for and hearing lots of it over one’s life.  good and bad, true and untrue,,, I’ve heard it all.  In that time I learned the hard way that being a wise-ass or inappropriate in pretty much every situation makes it hard to make / keep friends and after a while people start talking about you in that light, they tend to start avoiding you.  That feedback is the untold kind, and you have to pick up on that too, or you’re in big trouble. (ahem, Linus!)

For me, the defining moment when I was in high-school, and I said something really stupid to my friends which resulted in them all looking at me like I just hurt a kitten.  It was at that moment when it became perfectly clear to me that I had to be accountable for what comes out of my mouth at all times and that I had offended or worse, hurt, the ones I care for and to that, my success would be in my ability to filter the crap that comes out of my mouth, and to learn to not take myself too seriously. 

I taught myself to cover up in situations where I was a complete ass by pretending I had said that comment on purpose, as a joke, when in fact I was learning boundaries, and in learning from my missteps, I made sure to never do it again.  Not repeating the same embarrassing situation to the same person was critical to me being taken seriously.  I wanted to be taken seriously and that motivated me to watch my mouth.

So back on to feedback.  I never wanted to hear feedback from anyone growing up because it was always bad.  I was immature, goofy, inappropriate, juvenile… I heard it all.  But as I figured out how to act around people, I wanted to know how I was doing.  Kind of like, “how is my driving”. 

The more I asked, the more I was able to improve and right now, I’m pretty damn strategic and I know what to say, when to say and how to address it.  It was hard but I’ve done it.  I should write a book, eh?  I have some great stories I cannot post online!

So now, I crave feedback.  All kinds of it.  I want the bad stuff more than I want the good stuff.  I want to be told I’m an asshole, or that I’ve pissed someone off because I’ve spent a lot of time being so good that every now and then my inner-bitch comes out and I let it all hang out.  I’m sorry.  I need to know.  If I’ve annoyed you, or pissed you off, it’s either a gigantic misunderstanding or it was done on purpose.  If you want to know, just ask me,  I’ll tell you.

When I started blogging, my wife had been doing it for a year and she is such a fantastic writer.  When I read her posts, I could replay the situation in my head as if it were happening then and there.  I’m not so blessed with that skill and when people found out we were married they were shocked at how well she wrote and how poorly I did.  I knew it.  It was true and quite funny actually.  So I started re-reading my posts, spell-checking it and taking general care for my posts.  All it took was some feedback. 

So when I get comments to my blog (or about my blog or blogging in general), like this one coming up, I tend to smile and want to keep it.  I’m proud of getting stuff like this.  Not only is it creative, but it’s downright funny.  True too…

Comment 1: “This is pointless, why am I even reading it and not enjoying ? I should learn to spend my time better.”

Comment 2:  “I realize you were young and inexperienced at the time, but in hindsight you should have chosen your parents more wisely.”

I also remember a “friend” of mine hoping to tell me what he truly thought about me by posting a comment in a much older post – figuring I would never see it – which went something like this;

“You are the most arrogant piece of shit that I have ever met.”

Yes.  Yes, I was… to you.  If you had only asked me, I would have told you myself.

Or the friend who told me he hates my blog – never reads it and things bloggers – and myself – are narcacisstic.  I thought about it, blogged about it and dismissed it.  Do we all not take pride in what we do?  .

If you want to post a comment about how you really feel, do it.  Please don’t make yourself anonymous, however, it’s better to identify yourself so I know what I’m facing.  You will feel better and I will know who I don’t have to worry about being nice to.  It’s okay.  I’m always civil. 

What is useless to be is the guy who comments on a pro-Rob Ford post with, “You’re a fucking idiot”.

Why thank you, was my thought.  Some left-wing primate made his way through my article and took the time to comment.  I replied back thanking him for the comment, that I was not an idiot – at least I didn’t think I was – and I merely presented the facts as they seemed to me and if he didn’t agree with my view he could have explained why and educated me instead of calling me names.  Good thing he didn’t know I was overweight like the Ford’s (although no where near the same size as them) because he would have said, “You’re a fucking idiot… and you’re fat”.

So if you take anything from this article it should be that when you’re giving feedback use some diplomacy.  give some positive feedback, and some negative.  If you blast the negative, you’re getting negative back right at you.  If you have something to say, just say it but keep in mind how it will be perceived by others, mainly the author of the post, but also take into consideration that it’s possible that many other have thought and felt the way you have about an article but by having the character to post that comment you may attract more readers, and you may be voicing the opinions of other as well. 

Good comments beget good comments.  When people take the time to comment on posts knowing their thoughts and opinions are going to stay in the comment section and not be deleted (except in cases of malicious attacks) then they will take the time to comment more and more.  If you delete them or jam garbage down their throats then you can rest assure they will not be coming back.

So please… comment what you feel.  Not only on my posts but on others   What is the worst things someone can do?  send you an email or post a reply to your comment calling you names?  Been there, done that.  It’s going to take a lot more than being called names to get me to back off my opinions.

Have any of you received really harsh comments or feedback?  Feel free to share here.

Related articles

• The 5 Standard Types Of Blog Feedback I Love [Opinion] (makeuseof.com)

 

How having an opinion can get you in trouble.

Here is a copy of a Facebook conversation I had with a friend of mine who has run for the Conservative party municipally and Provincially.  He posted that he will was invited to a dinner event with Immigration minister Jason Kenney, who I just posted about due to my concerns with the recent changes to the live-in caregiver program.

 

I congratulated my friend of over 20 years and asked him to get some information for me.  Now looking back, and knowing my friend, there was no way he would just up and question the minister, however if he had a moment, I guarantee he would ask for me.

 

Someone saw this exchange and must have thought I was criticizing my friend, or the progress being made by this government – which I kind of am doing – and below is a transcript of the conversation.

 

Urbandaddy: Awesome, Mike Yen. Can you ask Jason what he’s doing with the Canadian Live-in Caregiver program? He’s messing up the agencies and the nannies already in it. He’s causing headaches for the employers too. I posted a couple in-depth blog posts you can refer to @ www.urbandaddy.wordpress.com, if you’d like.

Urban Daddy

urbandaddy.wordpress.com

 

Person: Urban Daddy, you’re little unfair to the minister.. and also mike, by not completely briefing mike prior to meeting Jason kenny.First off you make no reference ( in your blog ) to ” why ” the new changes have been made. Nor do you offer any history into the amount of abuse that was bestowed, under the old rules.There are very good reason’s for the change.Caregivers now have 4 years to get in two years employment,( or equivalent hours ) up from 3 years. This was done, to allow the employee freedom, and not be locked into miserable jobs because of a calendar. Under Minister Kenny, a hot-line has been set up “just for caregivers” working / living in abusive situations… no other minister had done this before.

Clamping down of unscrupulous agents and consultants has been a great accomplishment by Minister Kenny. Maybe a blog on that topic would shine some light on the other side of the fence. And then another one or to on the “abuses of authority” employers rein down on some of these woman.

And of course the wait time to be processed is going to be longer.. more people are applying for the PR, and of course the process time to get here will be longer, more people are applying to come here.

Over the last 5-7 years, there has been a popular and very lucrative and in many cases, unscrupulous, industry created around ( primarily ) Filipinas coming to Canada via Hong Kong, Singapore, and Dubai. Again, this explains the extended wait times.

In my experience, the only ones that are “really upset” with the minster’s new rules, are those that are attempting to live off the avails of caregivers. See consultants and agents above.

To send Mike at the minister, using only the info in your blog, could very well be an embarrassment to him.

Jason Kenny has done a great job with the changes. They are not perfect, but the door has been slammed on the bastards that were using and abusing the caregivers. And for that, he gets my full respect.

 

Urban Daddy: Hi.  I don’t think I’m being unfair to Mike at all, actually. I’ve known him for over 20 years personally and Mike would never just read what I’m writing and speak to the Minister on that. I was hoping that if he knew him and had a moment to ask him about where the government is going on this he would. Mike’s a pretty strategic fellow. And as for my views on the program, I’m coming at it from a very honest straightforward view. I worked in government, and I’ve employed nannies (still do). Going through the process for me was a little more difficult because it had to be even more by the book. While I understand there has been some corruption in the program, I have never seen it personally, so I’m looking out for the honest folks, like myself, the agency that helped us on 3 occasions and the wonderful woman who have helped take care of my children.

 

- I’ll saw here that a lot of what this person said was legitimate, however, had he read any of my 3 blog posts on this topic he would know that not only do I have the government experience, and I’ve sponsored 3 nannies and helped them all go through the program, complete their paperwork and get jobs after, but I have also sent my posts to an amazing nanny agency called Wee Care here in Toronto to vete my thoughts to ensure they are not biased.  This agency is about as legit as you can get and just for doing business they are required to jump through hoops. 

 

I’m all for getting the bad guys but let’s not lose sight of the fact that not everyone is a bad guy.  Good guys can complain too about process / procedures because they make little sense.  Those trying to cheat the system will do so regardless of what obstacles are in front of them,.  So why make the honest guys suffer.  My kids current nanny is this petit sweet very Christian girl who just wants to get her residency so she can get her career moving and help her family back home.  She wants to run a business here and upgrade her education.  To do so, she needs her residency but until that time she can’t even take courses.  She’s devoted 4 years of her life to this country and in return she is asked to wait an additional 18 months to get her residency.  If the minister really wanted to be fair to everyone, he’d grandfather (grandmother) the current group and start fresh with the next lot.

 

Back to the discussion -

 

• Person: Urban Daddy, my wife is a Filipina, that came into this country through the caregiver program.. I have met many caregivers, and only one, has had what I’d consider a really good employer. By that I mean her employer stuck to the duties spelled out clearly on the contract.Caregivers are not dog walkers, snow removers, lawn cutters, house painters, furniture movers, car washers, gardeners ( read: weed pullers ) etc. However, most, almost all, are called upon to perform many of the tasks I’ve noted. Employers are getting all those services for min wage. If they were to pay the caregivers market value for those extra tasks, ok, then that would / could be acceptable.. but that is not the case.What Minster Kenny has set up, is a system whereby, caregivers can now leave their slave-driving employers, with no penalty to themselves. This is a great change.

  I agree with you, there are a few good agencies. Just a few. The new guide lines, are closing down the exploiters very quickly. I just heard of another one tonight.

  The new wait times are longer. I know this can be frustrating.
  But there are more than enough here, that will accept part-time, until the other caregiver arrives. We’re currently waiting for my brother in-law to arrive from Dubai. There’s a job waiting for him when he arrives, and until then it is being filled by a woman with a PR Card. She’s aware of the temporary nature of the job. Plus, she’ll be working there on the weekends when he’s with us. And of course, under the new guidelines ( as I’m sure you’re aware ) no fee’s are being charged to the employee, for the job.

  I really think it’s noble how you care for your employee’s future here in Canada. I also believe we have a great guy ( Minster Kenny ) steering the ship.

  Whenever I get frustrated at the new rules, ( that my brother in-law is experiencing ) I just think of the added protection to the caregivers.

Again I appreciate that this is his view, however, now in over 6 years of employing caregivers and having many at our house, often, I cannot say that I have ever seen this.  I have not heard of, nor would I ever ask an employee – nanny or tax staff – to do something not in their contact.  Again I think each person sees different things or gets asked different things.  I’ve been asked if nannies are allowed to go out at night, or if they are on call 24/7 and yes, I have set people straight.  How else do people learn. 

 

I like some of the changes to reduce nanny abuse and require them to be treated equally under the law as a regular employee but to up the costs to employers and make life difficult and expensive for potential employers tells me the minister is trying to make this program available only to the rich and I have problems with that since it’s usually the middle class who need the live-in caregivers so both parents can work as it’s a cheaper option that a live-out caregiver.

 

All I wanted from the minister was answers… Where is he going with the program.  I ended the conversation this way: It looks like we both pretty much see things the same way. Happy to see corruption kept out of the program and let the legit businesses run properly and help those fantastic workers do their stuff and come to be productive Canadians. Pleasure having this discussion with you. I’ve learned a lot. Cheers.

 

What are your thoughts?  If you comment and you have either a nanny or an agency, please disclose.

 

Thanks!

 

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child. I cannot find a village, will my social media community suffice?

I recently joined a parenting group on Facebook called Pink and Blue Baby. I took a quick look through some of the threads in the group and right away got a feel for what the purpose of the board was – to be a resource for first time parents.

What gave it away? Questions such as; At what age is it okay to take my baby out for the first time? Will my baby ever sleep? When can I give my baby “real” food? All the questions we sorted through just over 6 years ago with our first born son, aptly referred to as Linus on my blog (for the fact he carries a blankie and constantly has his fingers in his mouth). But upon further review of the threads I noticed this board is more than that. It is also serving the purpose of helping parents with their current questions, such as; Looking for play-dates, recommendations for thank you notes, loot bag suggestions, and much, much more.

I couldn’t help but think about how much the times have changed since we had our first baby, Linus, who will only be 7-years-old in just over a month. When he was a baby what did we know? As soon-to-be first time parents, we took advantage of whatever opportunity we had to learn how these things called “babies” worked.

The first class I remember us taking was at the hospital we were giving birth at, North York General Hospital, and if I recall correctly, it was called “When Baby Comes” and looking back now, it was pretty scary. It was taught by a registered nurse and was very descriptive and technical. After Linus came – I was fortunate to be off on parental leave from my job for 9 months, – my wife and I tried to figure out what to do with a child who slept, whenever, ate a lot and pooped a lot. It was hands-on learning.

My wife found a registered nurse in the area who taught classes to a group of local moms, and these moms formed the baby group that our son grew up with. All the kids were around the same age (one born mere minutes after our son at the same hospital) and it was this group that served as our resource for the first year, to year and a half of Linus’ life. Food, fitness, health, growth spurts, etc were all discussed in the class, and then with these moms. The moms, became the dads and the dads would all get together, head out for wings and beer and talk about our kids. It was great. With this group came the siblings for most of the parents and with that the purpose of the group became clear. Play-dates, birthday parties, all kinds of questions, and much more were discussed through this group in person and via email.

While my wife was increasing her knowledge on the baby front, I was using my parental leave to work on my MBA. I found the evenings worked great because I wanted to be around to help out as much as possible. I would take Linus for long walks each day – he would score me free shwag all over the place, especially at the local Starbucks. I did as many diaper changes as necessary; I loved feeding him and reading books to him. It was trial by error on my side and a lot of research on my wife’s side. Why don’t these kids comes with instruction manuals?!?

Looking back, how did we ever get through baby #1 without the benefit of a cool group like this one I just joined?!? Well to be honest, it was all my wife. She read the baby books, she surfed the net looking for resources, and with her mother’s intuition she did all the rest. She got Linus on a schedule after reading that babies need structure. She arranged for cloth diapers after reading that it helps kids potty train sooner, and she made his food instead of buying it because with her science background and as a budding nutritionist she knew the added chemicals were not good for him. She sought out and then checked out kids’ furniture. She also found a great resource online which detailed Linus’ progression and explained what we could expect from them at that age on a week by week basis.

After putting in all this work, child #2, Stewie (named on my blog after the baby from Family Guy because we thought he was trying to kill us by getting up every 2-3 hours for the first 10 months of his life, without fail) was a breeze. Armed with plenty of resources and almost two years practical hands on experience we were ready for anything.

Linus, you see, was a textbook baby. We knew this by reading the textbooks. So was Stewie, and so far our third (and last) child, Berry fits that mold too. These kids follow the models laid out in the text, so the more we read, the easier it was to predict their next growth spurt, or when their teeth were set to come it. It made life much easier for us.

One think I noticed as we both headed back to work was that we now had a family of 6 (3 kids and a nanny) and running the household was that much more challenging. With work, schedules, school, programs, and meal planning and preparation there was no time for anything else outside of being a parent. Where was the time for us?

Fear not new parents, it gets better… (No, really it doesn’t). It cannot get better than being surrounded by children and the more kids, the more love, the more poop, the more shmootz, and the less sleep. If it’s not one kid getting up in the middle of the night, it’s one of the others.

Needless to say parents; no matter if you’re a first time parent or a 4th time parent, it’s all the same. Our kids will continue to grow and we will always have parenting questions. We will worry about them and in doing so forget about you. It’s okay, it’s natural and we all do it. Just keep asking those questions on this message board and when you get more experienced, you too will share your thoughts and observations about what it was like for you, as I have done tonight too, and do with regularity on my blog.

If you want to read more, you can find this urban daddy at www.urbandaddy.wordpress.com.

 

 

Some Urban Daddy Reminders – By the Numbers

Every now and then I like to perform a pulse check on my blogging. I guess this is it.

Housekeeping:

Please remember that on the right side of my blog I have my twitter feed.  You can follow my tweets here or follow me directly @urbandaddyblog on Twitter.

Below my Twitter feed you will find my Blogroll which includes Daddy bloggers, local Toronto bloggers, and some wonderful political blogs.  Go, click through and read them.  Some very talented writers are waiting for you to come by and read their stuff. In addition, if there are some blogs you know about that you think are fantastic too, please post about them and I will always check them out and if they are fantastic I will add them to my blogroll.

Stats:

I just posted my 752nd blog post on this blog last night.

I’m approaching my 100th post on my professional tax / management blog; www.intaxicating.wordpress.com.

I’m finally past my 900th follower on Twitter and I’m heading for 1000.

I am also nearing my 3500th tweet.

On Facebook, I am heading towards my 200th “like”.  You can find the link to that on the right side of my blog too.

My October destroyed any other month in the way of traffic to my site.  Actually, October had more hits than August and September combined and those months were my best months ever. Thank you.  

I am also approaching my 1500th comment.

Lots of milestones coming in the next few days, weeks and months and I thank you for being a huge part.

I also just passed my 30,000th unique hit on this blog which has been in existance for about 4 years as a public blog, and spend the previous 4 years hidden. When I made it public I moved it from Blogger onto WordPress and in doing so, all the posts moved over, however the hits did not. I’m okay with 30,000. Actually, to be honest, I think 30,000 is incredible considering a lot of the crap I have written over the years.

 

The end of the world really is coming… Here are the signs according to this urban daddy

In Italy, I believe, the citizens there were convinced there was a massive earthquake coming on May 11th, 2011 which was going to swallow them all up and that would be it for them.

That didn’t happen.

Now I hear there is a group of people predicting that May 21st, 2011 is really the last day on earth. Something is going to happen which will wipe of civilization as we know it.

Well, if that is the case, I guess I don’t need to complete that report I am working on for the office which is due on June 1st, do I? No one will be around to care. LOL

I don’t mean to poke fun at crazy people – wait, yes I do – but all this nonsense about predicting an exact date the world is going to end is all crap, IMHO. Instead all you need to do is look at the signs… Real signs… Like these ones listed below.

Here are some signs;

Arnold Schwarzenegger admits to wife Maria Schriver he has a “secret” 13 year old boy with their housekepper and she leaves him. Not surprising considering Arnie’s past track record of “groping” woman. This kid was actually born 5 days after Arnie and MAria’s child… WOW. And what tops this story off, is that someone decided to ask KISS frontman Gene Simmons for his opinion and good ‘ol Gene said it wasn’t Arnie’s fault. He just produces too much sperm in a day and cannot “take Thursday’s off”.

America’s Most Wanted has been cancelled after 23 years on the air

A rapper named M-Bone was killed in a drive-by shooting in LA. Drive-by’s??? We’re still doing those? I thought years ago it was cool, then we all realized it was cowardly. The shooters should be ashamed of themselves for taking this route…

Or…

… has anyone heard his music? M-Bone, T-Bone, Bone-in, Bone-out… Now he’ll sell more records. Here comes the stories of what a good guy he was. Caring about the community, blah, blah, blah.

Stephen Hawking said there is no afterlife… Damn! So much for finding Hitler and kicking his dead ass.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to be President of the US. Essentially he fired himself.

Fields of watermelons are exploding, like land-mines, in China after farmers added a growth accelerator to young watermelons (with a thinner rind). It rain a lot, and now the melons are exploding… Oh yes.

Here’s to hoping that the chemicals put in these melons are safe to consume by humans.

Too bad the US got to Bin Laden before the Chinese developed these exploding melons. They could have placed these melons all over Afghanistan and they could have started exploding and destroyed all the caves… Oh, wait… He wasn’t hiding in the caves. How primative. He was in an estate in Pakistan.

Whe knew!?!

Jedi vs Sith has gone offline, on Facebook, preventing me from reaching my goal of being in the top 50 in the world. I have officially retired from the game at 57th in the world. On the bright side, I now have an extra hour a day to play Cityville that my wife hooked me on. #$%^&#%$^%*&^$^#&.

The end of the world must be near as reports come out that Pearl Jam is going on tour to celebrate their 20th anniversary… Of what? Of being together or of the last song they released. Really? Who is going to go see this band? They are so… 1990.

So if these are not clear signs of the end of the world as we know it, then tell me, what is?

 

Randomness for a Friday… You “like” me, you really, really “like” me…

Hey there urban daddy fans.  Thank you for taking the time to hit up Facebook and “like” me.  Each “like” is much appreciated and every time another one comes through in my monthly stats I really appreciate it… That being said…

Did you know I just passed 20,000 hits.   Cool eh?  I moved this blog from Blogger to WordPress around 3 years ago and with that change, I came here with zero hits.  So taking into consideration the fact that my visits to my own blog do NOT count, I’m really happy with the support.  IF my hits DID count, I’d be at a million hits already.  LOL

So, on Wednesday nights after work, I race home to take my boys to their swimming classes.  After swimming, the boys have a shower, then we all race home and my wife and I got the kids ready for bed – we have a grat bedtime routine that involves books, flossing, brushing, snack and some one-on-one time.  

Last Wednesday, the boys were in bed fairly easily, but our daughter – Berry – who was in bed wanted nothing to do with sleeping.  As a matter of fact at one point I tried to pick her up when she said to me, “Let go!”   Oh no… She’s mastered “no”.  When she said “no Daddy” it broke my heart.  Then she saw my reaction and kept saying it with the world’s biggers smile on her face.  Bun Dit.

So I yanked her out of bed, we walked around, talked, ate, etc, and she finally saw her crib again, at 9pm, I then jumped in the car set to go have wings and beer with my friends, then off to see the accountant (she is working from 9-midnight until the May 2nd tax filing deadline here in Canada.  On my way back I was going to drop off a ladder at my in-laws that I borrowed 4-5 months ago.

But sometimes not all well thought out plans fall into place… I did met up with the boys at Duff’s on Bayview Avenue, south of Eglinton.  I was about an hour late, so I quickly order a Rickards White – came with an orange slice which I thought was odd - and a small order of medium chicken wings (10 wings).  Normally I have wings at St. Louis Bar and Grill and their medium is quite tame, so I went with the medium here too.  It was when they came that I noticed they were this funny orange colour.  The guys at my table were surprised that I ordered “hot” wings.  Even after I said they were medium, the guys still seemed impressed.  It wasn’t until I ate my first wing – mouth on fire – when I noticed the servers had t-shirts explaining that the medium are hot.  The hot are very hot.  Hmmmm.

So I ate, drank, and ate some more, trying not to spill on my white shirt and trying not to look like the noob who ordered wings too hot to eat.  I think I pulled it off.

Guess what?!?

I spilled all over the bottom of my shirt. 

Oh well.

I ate 9 of the 10 wings and, with no water, (had a sucker – because it was there) I grabbed a pitcher of water from the server and drank.  Whew.

We all watched the 2 hockey games on TV – both game 7′s – and cheered while the Habs lost and the Bolts won.

Then we slowly headed out and towards our cars.  It was then I realized it was 10:30pm, so too late to go to the accountant and too late to go return the ladder.  With my gym clothes in the car, and already partially dressed in running attire, I pulled into my driveway at 11pm, stripped off my clothes and on a stomach full of wings, and beer I took off for a run.

I had mentally mapped out a route in my new neighbourhood that I suspected was around 5km and realistically, hoped I would make it at least to the end of the block.  I did.  Then I decided to keep moving so I hit the end of that street, about 5 blocks in length, and I continued on. 

While running and still trying to keep note of where Iwas, I had thought if I turned right, the road would curve and take me back to my street.  I turned and ran… and ran… and ran… and when I was totally lost, I saw a main street in front of me that I thought was really cvlose to my house.  Just a little longer.  I ran towards this main street and as I approached it I was stunned to find it was not the main street I had hoped for, and I wasn’t sure whether to turn left or right.  I stopped, walked a little, then realized I was on the opposite street I thought I was running towards, and after a few minutes of walking I found my street and ran across it home.  4.1km, 27 minutes.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

How messed up has this week been for me???

On Monday I dressed up in my grey dress shirt, black dress pants and black shoes, only to realize later in the day that my pants were blue, not black, then on Tuesday I put my contact lenses in the wrong eyes for the first time ever.   I started wearing contract lenses when I was 19. 

Loser.

It donned on me when I was driving and I couldn’t see the countdown at each intersection.  It was a giant blur to me.  I was convinced when I couldn’t see my computer at the office.  I figured either they were in the wrong eye – and I was extremely over-tired – or either I had a detached retina, or was having a stroke.  Fun being 40!!!

Have you ever done that before?

 

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That way you get an email or notification whenever something changes around here.  When a new blog post hits, an older post is re-posted or edited, or when a comment prompts me to post a disclaimer at the bottom of the post, maybe with some comments.

To be honest, since I do most of my posting for the week late at night, subscribing allows you to see my posts once I’ve had a chance to run the spell checker and check the grammar.

As well, if you have not already done this, you should go to Facebook and type in urbandaddy, find the trademark yucky stuffed offwhite kitty (that’s Linus’ “friend” Zoey) and “like” this blog. I foresee in the future posting there only, and not on my regular facebook page.

Right now people who “like” urban daddy and are friends with me get the posts twice.

You can also follow me on twitter @urbandaddyblog

So many choices!!!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Urban-Daddy/109554365740659?ref=ts

 

Guest Blogging time at urban daddy: Elliott Hurst from Supernova.com steps to the plate

It’s about time for another guest blogger.

This time www.supernova.com CEO Elliott Hurst steps up to the plate and provides his insight into the world of social networking and how a movie from the 1980′s called Revenge of the Nerds may have come to life for Facebook CEO MArk Zukerberg.

Elliott, for those of you who may not know, was building Supernova in his basement in Toronto, while Facebook’s Mark Zukerberg was creating the next best addiction in Silicone Valley. There are some parallels…

Elliott, help me here.

Now on to Mr. Hurst’s post;

I just saw the The Social Network and was very intrigued by the story, the characters and the dialogue. Yes, it’s a really good movie. It may even win Best Picture (however, that is a relative term, and I’m definitely not saying it is in the same class as The Godfather, Rocky, American Beauty, Schindler’s List, etc.), but given today’s offerings, it just might.
Oscars are very political and affected by a myriad of factors including money. It may even win due to the fact that the spectacularly visual Avatar won last year and the Academy’s taste pendulum may swing back to a “substance” movie with a story. Plus, it’s a very hot topic.

Whether the story is 100% true, 50% true or even 10% true, it actually makes no difference, because as a story, it has just the right amounts of sub-text, irony, and tragedy and to make it a compelling film.

Sub-text: man seeks out to show the world his value based on his creation ends up alienating his best friend and business partner due to deep seated resentment towards his personal social success, personal success that eludes man.

Irony: man who creates a revolutionary service based on being social is actually socially inept in real life.

Tragedy: man who gains the respect and adulation of the masses, despite not being born into bourgeoisie blood lines nor being aesthetically or athletically gifted to be popular, can’t parlay that popularity into recapturing the love of his life.

But at the core of this film is a simple message that was first brought to light in the purely fictitious, 80’s gross out comedy franchise, Revenge of the Nerds. The premise? As Imdb puts it; “At a big campus, a group of bullied outcasts and misfits resolve to fight back for their peace and self respect.” Ok, so Zuckerberg wasn’t exactly bullied in The Social Network, but the goal was the same, and he and his computer nerd buddies were outcasts and misfits. The clearest example appeared near the beginning of the film when the popularity of Facemash was spreading like wildfire amongst the cool, popular kids through dorm room parties, while the nerds gathered around their lonely computers hatching the idea and tracking its popularity in solitude. In fact, the nerds turned the cool kids’ narcissism upon themselves to create a site so popular, it shut down the Harvard network within hours.

Facebook has accomplished so much more than that. And other sites like it. And all those sites were created by nerds. They are utilities now, as important to the world as the things that made the cool kids popular in school; sports, heritage, money, aesthetics, etc. Brain power. The nerds have it. The world runs on it.

It is now cool to be a nerd.

What was laughable fiction in the 80’s has actually happened today. Nerds are the new BMOCs. Nerds are the new Rockstars. Nerds are the new Quarterbacks of the football team. Nerds never got the girl. Well, actually, in the end, neither did the nerd in The Social Network. But the reason was best given by Rashinda Jones’ character toward the end of the film where she said, “Mark, you’re not an asshole. You just try too hard to be.” And that’s the tragedy. Whereas in the 80’s hi-jinks screwball comedy nature of Revenge of the Nerds where the main characters remained undaunted in their enthusiasm to prove themselves, the weight of this burden had the reverse effect on The Social Network’s Zuckerberg. Whether he was born with it or it manifested within himself since puberty, Zuckerberg is shown to continuously damage his personal relationships due to deep rooted resentment.

If The Social Network is Revenge of the Nerds 2.0, then today’s Zuckerbergs are finally being given their due.

But at what cost?

 

Thank you readers for a record month!

Thank you for making January (with one day left) the best month for this blog… EVER.

Hits this month were a quarter more than my previous best month, which was December, and comments this month were a staggering 65% more than my previous best.

I really appreciate each time someone takes the time to read, or comment on something I have written. 

Whether you are reading it directly at www.urbandaddy.wordpress.com, or on Facebook under my profile, or my urbandaddy page (come “like” me), or on Twitter @urbandaddyblog. You have taken the time to click through and I appreciate it.

Let’s have a kick-ass February!

Sincerely,

This urban daddy

 

Who Unfollowed Me on Twitter

Man, I am such a sucker for these things. First it was who blocked you on messenger, then it was who unfriended you on facebook, now it’s who unfollowed you on twitter.

Why in the world am I obsessed with this knowledge. It’s not like I would do or say anything to those who blocked / unfriended / unfollowed me.

Thankfully I have the inability to focus on a task for long periods of time which explains why I looked at the list of those who unfollowed me (there are over 500) and realized this list is of those who I follow and have not followed back…

I’m too tired to go through this list and remove people.

I do sometimes, okay not often, noticed I have twitter-spam and I removed those folks / bots, and I have noticed some people big into the “You follow me, and I’ll follow you, then you tell two friends and they tell two friends and so on and so on… and moron, and moron.

I’m just getting content with the fact that I followed a lot of people to get followers then realised it was a big waste of time, so I only follow those who I want to know, and don’t care if they follow me back or not.

And every now and then I get feedback from people who do remove me from stuff, like Facebook, over dinner in front of other couple… Oh yes. About 3 years ago a “friend” announced that he “unfriended” me for updating my status too often. He complained that people who do that are losers and have not enough to do.

I smiled, probably quite embarrassed since everyone was watching me, and announced that not only did I not notice his snub, but that he could have blocked my updates, since I have no blackberry / iPhone and was only updating it at night or on weekends…

Needless to say, about a year-and-a-half later there was a friend request from him which I accepted.

I know for a fact he does not read this blog because he wisely blocked my updates.

So what’s up with the rejection-obsession?

And what have you done when you’ve been blocked / unfriended / unfollowed?