On the weekend our children get up nice and early. 6am, usually, but 5am is not out of the question.
I believe we have convinced them not to come wake us (or each other) at that time, but I could be very wrong about that since they may not come and wake us up, but they certainly wake us through playing, talking and laughing.
Aside: Parents – How many of you also have become light sleepers as a result of your kids walking, talking, crying, calling, etc., in the middle of the night?
So after a 5:30am wake-up and plenty of playing around the house, my daughter Boo decided that she HAD to go visit our neighbour 2-doors down for a playdate. These girls have become best friends, they go to the same school, were in the same class and we would walk to school together in the mornings.
But at 8am, it’s not nice to knock on someone’s door and invite yourself in.
“After lunch.” We told her.
“You can have a playdate with the neighbour, but after lunch.”
What she and her brother Stewie heard is a completely different story…
10 minutes later, the front door opened and by the time I got to the door, I saw Stewie entering the neighbours house, with no sign of Boo.
“Stewie!” I called out. “Where is Boo?”
“Inside” he yelled back.
“Absolutely not!” I replied. “It’s 8 o’clock in the morning and I said you had to wait until after lunch! Get Boo and come back home!”
Both kids came back home and were greeted at the door by myself and my wife.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “We said you could not go until after lunch. It is only 8 o’clock in the morning!”
“We just finished lunch” was Boo’s reply. “We ate breakfast at 6am, and were hungry again, so we just ate lunch. You said we could go after lunch.”
Yes, we did.
My iPad has a timer we use for the children’s math drills. I named it “Math Drill” because that is what it was for. Then I opened it…
If I still had a smart phone I would be able to pull off to the side of the road whenever my kids say something funny or clever and tweet it right away, however until that happens again, I’m stuck making notes on pieces of paper then throwing them into a blog post entitled something like this one.
Here is the driving force behind this post;
In the car on our way up North this past weekend Ms. Urban Daddy asked the children the following question; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Linus responded first; “I want to be a policeman!”.
Stewie responded next; “I want to be everything!”. His justification was that if he did everything then he could do what he really liked the most and he would make a LOT of money and be famous.
I guess being “Stewie” on this successful, top-rated Canadian daddy blog is not enough.
Dream big, little man!
Berry, the youngest and last to respond said; “I want to be a poo” at which point the three kids burst into giggles. Nice! Corrupt the poor little girl.
Let the record show I’m not surprised by the boys’ choices, however I have higher expectations for my princess…
I also caught Stewie later that day calling his older brother a “Stupid ass”.
Poor Berry has decided she no longer likes to pee. Not sure if something hurts or not – I asked her a couple days ago if it hurt to pee and she said yes, it did, and when I asked he to touch where it hurt she touched he right elbow.
“Your right elbow hurts when you pee?” I asked her
“Yes!” she replied. “I hurt myself”.
Not taking that to be the only ailment, my wife took her to the doctor later that week and in the testing for symptoms, the doctor thought it would be a good idea of little Berry pee’d in the cup so they could check her urine. While that test was negative, we’re still wondering what’s going on with her, physical or psychological.
I received the update on the doctor’s appointment from mummy and baby – with some prompting from mummy to recall the details.
“I went to the Doctor, Daddy!”
“I pee’d on the doctor, Daddy”
In response to how did you get upstairs to the doctor’s office, she blurted out this;
“I went in the alligator”.
Such a proud little girl.
I would have pee’d on the doctor too if my mummy made me ride in an alligator to get there.
I am totally serious here, folks. I went to school for 12 years (didn’t need grade 13), I went to University for 5 years, and then after taking a bunch of courses here and there, I did a 3 year graduate degree. By my math, that puts me at 20 years of school. Today, I am turning 41-years-old, so that means I have been in school for almost half my life and still, my kids say, do and know things that blow me away.
A few examples are below.
This past weekend I realized that I watch a lot of wrestling on TV, when Mark Henry came on the TV and Linus blurted out, “Hey Stewie! It’s the World’s strongest man, Mark Henry”. Then of course came the questions from Stewie as to whether Mark Henry could have helped me take the treadmill downstairs instead of coach Eric, and if he would have needed just one pinkie or if he could tuck it under his arm and go.
Later in the day I was singing the theme song from new WWE star Brodus Clay and I blurted out, “Gonna call my doctor…” when Berry corrected me and said; “NO, daddy. Gonna call my Momma”… and so she sang, Should she know this???
Later that day, I sang “Gonna call my Momma” when she stopped me and said, “I don’t want to call my momma. I want to call my doctor”, and so she sang.
Another interesting thought from Stewie occurred when he asked the urban mummy if she still had her sweet tooth. Laughing, she said that she did, to which he replied, “Good! Otherwise all food would taste like dirt!”
I love listening to Berry call her brothers. She yells, “Brothers? Where are you brothers?”
Tonight, during dinner, Berry wanted to pee, and I wanted one of her brothers to take her, but she wanted me to take her. I was in the middle of making a batch of homemade pancakes. and really didn’t want to take her. I tried rationalizing with her – a no no, I know – and I explained to her, but when I was about to give up, Stewie blurted out; “Berry! You want ice cream? There is an ice cream truck in the bathroom. Go with Linus.” In a second she was gone to the bathroom with Linus so I could finish making dinner.
Also, we have a rule in the house that the kids are not allowed to climb over the couches. They do anyways, but we try to keep them from using it as a jungle gym. Today, after telling Stewie to stop climbing over the couch for the 7th time, I resorted to some good old fashion attention getting and when he jumped up I took the spatula and whacked him on his little behind. He spun, squinted his eyes at me, frowned disapprovingly at me, then said, “Don’t smack me with that spatula Daddy”. I replied to him, “But I’ve asked you 6 other times not to climb over the couch and I even told you if you did, I would remind you not to, even if it meant smacking your behind – not to hurt, but to help you remember”. At which point, he looked me right in the eyes and said, I’m telling mummy” and on came the tears.
He played me.
Linus got me today too, when someone asked me what 126 + 38 was and as I was calculating it in my head, Linus had already said 164 3 times. Oy.
So after these few examples, I ask you all, parents, have you found your kids do or say things which are way beyond their years? Like when you need your kids to program your iPad, much in the same way your parents needed you to program the VCR.
I’d love to hear your stories too.
- It’s been a while… How are you? (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)
This is also my 800th post. Whew.
A couple of weeks ago, after my boys finished swimming class, they showered then dressed so we could head home and to bed.
Linus dried up and got dressed quickly, bu tStewie was still sitting on the bench covered in his towel, dripping wet.
“Hey, Stewie!” I yelled. “Hurry up!”
“Why do I need to hurry” was his reply. “Do we need to get milk?”
We sometimes go buy milk after swimming and have to rush home because mummy is tutoring or their nanny will be heading out, or just to get them to bed. So, caught a little off guard I replied; “So we can go home.”
e looked at me and quickly shot back; “Why do we need to hurry home? It never closes”.
And we’re done.
So I replied back to him; “Because I said so”.
“OK” he chattered as he quickly got dressed.