Welcome to The Urban Daddy weblog. Not your typical "Daddy" blog because I am not your typical Daddy. Originating from Toronto, Ontario, Canada in 2004. Follow our exploits as we proceed through life with the odds stacked against us. Three of them and two of us.
Driving in the car with children, as you all well know, can be either a pleasure or a pain depending on a number of factors usually beyond our control as parents. In fact, children even have the ability to be educational or hilarious in the car, if they want, but being disruptive and difficult is usually the easiest.
Every now and then they say something funny, brilliant or even hilarious, which must be shared with the world…
A couple of weeks ago, while driving in the car with the children, our 9-year-old son, Linus began a rather short discussion with my wife which showed us that he is finally understanding the meaning of life and that – as we’ve been saying all along – life ain’t fair.
I had to share it!
Linus: “Mummy, you know when you find that perfect spot in bed that is so comfortable and warm and then, of course, you have to get up to pee and when you come back to bed, you cannot find that spot again?”
I feel like I am preaching to the choir when I start a post on a blog aimed primarily at parents which has the title; “Can I Please Get Some Sleep!” As mommies and daddies you know that when you decide to have children one of the most important things you have to come to grips with is the fact that sleeping in, and 8-9 hours of solid sleep are a thing of the past. It’s just no longer a part of your life, much in the same way combing my hair became a thing of the past when it all started to fall out. You have to accept it, give it up and then move on, otherwise you will find yourself a constant ball of angst and stress.
Even though we have long since accepted the fact that sleeping a full-night’s is no longer an option for you, the past couple of weeks at The Urban Daddy household have been like no other…
Let me explain what is happening here.
First off, our kids have always had a very structured day, so their evening begins with dinner, followed by kitchen clean up, bath/shower time, a snack, book (us or them reading) and then lights out by their set bedtime. Boo, at just over 3-years-old is the first off to bed. Her bed time is 7pm. Ever since our summer vacation she has decided that bed-time routine begins with her falling to sleep in our bed, laying on mummy, in “Mummies bed” as she likes to call it. She also needs to have pee’d, brushed her teeth, and have at least her favourite stuffed animal of the day snuggled against her before she dozes off.
Once Boo is asleep, I carry her to her room and hope that she stays asleep during the walk. It’s a temporary move, however.
Boo is now at that age where we need to teach her to tell time so she will not get out of her bed before 7am (like her brothers), so right now she meanders over to our room at all hours of the night, blankies tucked under he arms and she climbs into our bed and snuggles up on top of my wife / her mummy.
Problem is, one awaken, my wife cannot get back to sleep. I’m not so unlucky, and all I need is 10 seconds and I am back out cold. So of course, Boo comes in, wakes up my wife, who 1 minute to see if I wake up too (which I do not), then kicks me to take our daughter back to her room, which I’m happy to do.
But parents, you know that once a child arrives in your room, they do not want to go back to sleep in their bed, so Boo then goes through her routine of stall tactics; “I have to pee”, “I want you to sleep with me”, I’m thirsty”, “I’m hungry”… Once all that is taken care of, I convince her that I am going to lay with her until she’s asleep, and once she’s back asleep I slide back to my bed, or sometimes I just fall back to sleep there beside her and hope that she hasn’t jumped back out of bed and into our room.
The problem continues because I’m trying to not fall asleep in her room – I want to break her of the habit of coming it and waking us up because she knows she either sleeps in our bed or she gets me to stay with her. It’s tiring.
So it figures then that once we start to break the pattern we get a night like the one I’m about to describe, which happened last week.
Early last week, Boo arrived in our room – an hour and a half after her bedtime – and hoped into bed. We were watching TV together so I got up to tidy up the house and let Boo and her mummy lay down to sleep. Before I left, however, Boo asked me for water. “I’m thirsty”, she said.
I gave her water and she guzzled some back, then she started to cough / choke, so we both turned to look at her.
“I almost threw up!” she said.
Third child, I’m thinking in my head, “No, you were just choking on the water. You’re okay now, go to sleep, I reassured her.”
“No, I’m going to vomit!” she follows with, now opening her mouth to show me that she threw up in her mouth and did not appreciate the acidic taste.
“It’s okay, just got to sleep, please” I replied.
“No, I’m going to vomit” she repeated to me. “I’m going to the toilet.”
Up she popped out of the bed, and then she tore off into our bathroom.
“Turn on the light!” she blurted as she zoomed into the bathroom. I looked at my wife and we nodded in agreement that I should at least go turn on the lights for her.
So of course, upon turning on the lights, she proceeds to vomit into the toilet… Twice.
Oops, I thought.
“I vomited in the toilet”, she pointed out to her previously unconvinced father.
“Yes you did. How do you feel now?” I asked her.
And this episode was just the beginning, which saw us change our bed twice, including the duvet and it’s cover off to the laundry room with her blankies, her bed sheet, her under-pad and about 10 towels.
Now, Six-year-old Stewie is a completely different story… This kid looks like he is going to pass out exhausted by 7pm, and he gets right into bed and reads or draws, but he sleeps SO soundly. He gets up at the creak of the floor or the sound of thunder and races into our room and snuggles in to bed with us. He’s getting so big that he can’t sneak in any more, we have to make room for him.
We now tell him when it may rain at night and he always asks if he can come sleep with us if there is thunder. We always say yes.
Then there is Linus.
He’s a great sleeper. We had Stewie at home and Linus slept through the birth.
So what would be the perfect gift for my wife??? A night at a hotel. Imagine… Food, WiFi, TV and a soft, comfy bed without distraction… I’m shuddering just thinking about it… For me. :)
I wanted to post this last week when it happened but did not get a chance but since that night this scenario has come up over and over again, just not to the same extent.
The night it first happened, was a special night in the Urban Daddy household. Determined to get back into some semblance of an exercise routine, I made up my mind early in the day that I would run on the treadmill that evening, by hook or by crook.
Since I’m still within my 3 month window of a new job with much greater responsibility, and the stress / excitement of meeting new people, learning new systems, figuring out acronyms and being on my toes all the time, I have found myself quite exhausted by about 10pm, which means that is around the time I tend to fall asleep on the couch when trying to; watch TV, read, blog, play Cityville, or… exercise. Very unusual for me as I’m used to 1-2am sleeps with 6am wake-ups.
This night was exercise night and the beginning of a new schedule for me.
New Routine – Thursday night.:
Eat dinner with the kids (not unusual at all)
Stewie piano lessons
Give Berry a bath
Linus annoy mummy during math lesson
Berry and Stewie before bed snack.
All kids in bed by 8:15 and I’m going to treadmill for 1/2 hour before I have a shower, then run out to grab milk. I really want to begin getting to bed at a reasonable hour – it is currently 12:33am so that is not happening.
Then it all fell apart.
Urban Mummy wanted to talk to me. We didn’t talk much the previous night and she barely saw me today and she wanted to chat but I patted my flabs and said, “Sorry hun! I have to treadmill”. She was disappointed.
I went to check on the kids and here is what happened;
Walked into Stewie’s room, and surprisingly he was still awake.
“Stay with me, Daddy”, he said.
“Sorry kiddo. I have to treadmill right now so I can shower, get milk and talk to your mother before she falls asleep or kills me”.
He was disappointed.
I went from there to Linus’ room where he was sitting up in his bed too.
“Lay with me, Daddy and tell me a story, please”.
“Can’t buddy. Have to go treadmill before mummy goes to sleep.
He gave me his pouty disappointed face.
Out I marched and right into Berry’s room where surprisingly she was up too.
“Rub my back and stay with me Daddy”, she said.
“Sorry, sweetie, I have to treadmill. Sing for me and I will tuck you in when I’m done.”
She was not happy either because she didn’t sing for me and she usually does. “Bla Bla Blacksheet”
Out I walked.
4 people wanted me to stay with them and 4 people got nothing.
Like I said in the title. Go big or go home. If you’re going to disappoint someone you might as well disappoint all of them.
In that post I discuss the wake-up routine of then 2-year-old son Stewie and how it was that he woke up in the morning with a diaper full of poo, but he would never leave his bed until we came to get him.
It was the funniest thing. Picture this… obedient little boy, laying in a toddler bed, one foot off the floor, but he never once stepped foot off the bed until someone came to get him – that someone could have been me, urban mummy, or even big brother Linus.
Fast forward 2 years and here is Stewie, now 40 pounds, still needing a diaper at night – still waking up full of poo more often than not, but does he wait in bed for someone to come get him?!? Heck no. The happy wandered shows up at my bed at all hours of the night. He’s tired, he’s scared, he’s hungry, he heard thunder… The list goes on. It’s near impossible to get him into bed. What’s worse, is that last night, for example, he came to get me at 4am – he was hungry – and when I said we could go downstairs and get him a bite, he whipped out his flashlight to lead the way. Then… In typical Stewie fashion, he suckered me into sleeping in his bed with him and once I fell asleep, he left to go sleep with mummy, leaving me cramped up and uncomfortable.
I long for those days where he would stay in bed and call for us to come get him and release him from bed-prison… I long for the days when Linus would stay in bed until 7am. Early morning wake-up calls are frequent in our house and are a major reason why I’m tired all the time. I at least can get back to bed… Urban mummy… Once she’s up, she’s up for the day.