So THAT’s What Happened To The “Other” Kid…


I don’t even know where to start this gem, from my daughter…

I had cut a watermelon into chunks and was in the process of putting them into Pyrex so I could put them in the fridge when my daughter sauntered over to warm me about the perils of eating watermelon seeds;

Boo: “Daddy, be careful when you eat that watermelon not to eat the purple or the pink seeds”.

Me: “Errr, okay.  I won’t eat the purple or the pink seeds”.

Who knew...

Who knew…

Boo: “Remember my other brother, the third one (she only has 2 brother’s)?  He ate the pink and purple seeds… The pink ones!  And he turned into a watermelon and we all ate him.  Do you remember that?  I do”.

Me: Laughing.

Boo: “Yeah, I remember him.  I miss him, but he tasted good.  His name was, ummm, Josh.  Yeah.  Josh”.

Me: Still laughing.

Boo: “So, yeah, Daddy… Please don’t eat the pink or purple  seeds.  Think of poor Josh”.

Away she walked.

#Only4

 

Thursday Thirteen: Taken from my July 6th, 2006 post


Back on July 6th, 2006 I had some really great stuff to share with my 6 followers, namely Thirteen Healthy Things you Can Do For Yourself Today.

I obviously did not follow any of this information.  :(

Here is the list. 

  1. Go for a nice walk
    2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water
    3. Take long deep breaths to relax
    4. Don’t piss off your significant other <— I really like this one.  :)
    5. Spend productive time with your children (or immature friends if you have none, :))
    6. Lift some soup cans and wave them around like you are lifting weights
    7. Call someone who likes to hear from you (Is that like “Call your mother.  She cares?!?”)
    8. Get a good nights sleep
    9. Take a nice relaxing bath and read a book
    10. Call your Mom. She worries. <— I knew it!
    11. Complete a task that has been bugging you for a long time
    12. Stretch – something. Anything.
    13. Since you are reading this, you should post a response, then go to your inbox and clear out a bunch of messages.

Sleep tight.

If I Ever Run For Toronto Mayor, I Want To Run As A NDP!


I watched the Toronto Mayoral debate forum, between Olivia Chow, David Soknacki and John Tory and I had an epiphany.  If I ever decide to run for Toronto Mayor, I want to be just like Olivia Chow.

Are you shocked?

I’m a fiscal conservative who would prefer to find efficiencies, reduce costs, tax less, and find ways to help everyone who needs help but as we have seen here in Toronto over the past 4-years with Rob Ford as Mayor, if you dare even make mention of cutting anything, look out.

When the Mayor commented about fact that there are a lot of libraries close together – some used much more than others – and some rarely used, he was branded a Neanderthal who couldn’t read and this fiasco even resulted in author Margaret Atwood being brought into the fray with jokes that she would be a better mayor.

If you cut, you must hate.  At least that is what the left will tell everyone.  Public service too large?  You hate unions.  Want to find cheaper ways to clean TTC busses? You hate transit.  Want to not pay for things on the backs of the property taxes? You’re rich and entitled.

Who wants all that crap!

I would want to be just like Olivia.  She was great in the debate.

Want better transit?  “Invest”.

Want to build lots of transit lines? “Invest” and “No more studies!”

Want to engage the youth? “Invest”.

Want to fight global warming?  “Invest”.

Olivia has all the answers, and at times, she had a very coy smile because she knew no matter what she said, there are around 28% of the population of Toronto who are going to vote for this modern-day Santa Claus.

You want transit?  You have to pay for it.  All Olivia needs to do is add a 1% how dare you be rich taxto the land transfer tax for every house over $2-million.  That will get me enough money to pay for whatever she wants.

Want more social programs?  Sure!  Once she adds that 1% “levy” (read: tax) on those nasty, horrible rich people (insert booing here) who dared to work hard and earn lots of money, and viola, there is money for social programs.

The debate, er, forum, went along like this through each and every question.  Screw balancing the budget.  Go away, you terrible rich folks.  Whatever you want, Santa Chow is going to get it for you.  Someone will pay for it, but let’s not let the details get in the way.  With that 1% she’ll have enough money to have studies needed to build more transit (her words last night and yes the same studies she criticized John Tory for wanting to undertake instead of just building now!)

It makes no sense.

She makes no sense.

But honestly, when nobody is listening to the message, it’s easy to be generous with your promises and critical of others who don’t want to have to raise taxes in order to fulfill unrealistic promises.  Where is the money going to come from to fulfill ALL her promises if the “rich” do not sell their houses or if they all move outside of the GTA?

My favourite exchange from the forum went something like this (paraphrased of course);

Q1: How would you get Toronto moving?”

A1: “More transit.  Invest in Transit.  Pay for it NOW.  Get started NOW.”

Q2: “Google is trying unmanned transit in San Francisco.  Would Toronto?”

A2: “Absolutely!!  We need transit moving on all the lines.  We’ll invest in that technology.”

Q3: “Unicorns.  I think Toronto needs more unicorns.  If elected Mayor, will you get us more unicorns?”unicorn tower

A3: “I’ll get those too!  I got free dental for seniors.  Subsidized metropasses for students and I love giving away stuff.  I can always raise taxes on the rich. I’m progressive.  Buy now, tax now.  The other candidates want to pay for studies.  I say forget the studies and invest in unicorns.  Why wait 10-years.  Get them here now!”

Toronto may not need unicorns, but if more than one-quarter of the city blindly support Olivia Chow’s platform, maybe after the 1% land transfer tax levy, they should all be next.

Who needs fiscal restraint when you’re spending other people’s money, anyways.

This modern-day Robin Hood has it all figured out.  Steal from the rich to give to the poor.

Psst… Want more trees too?

unicorntower2

Looking For Structure While Adding Responsibilities To The Children? See How Our School-Year Started!


Structure.

Consistency.

Responsibilities.

Independence.

All things we want our children to have, when they’re older, so they are able to lead fulfilling lives and, to be honest, so we don’t have to do everything for them.  But when is it the right time?

How about now!

A week before school started for my children – ages ranging from 9 to 4 – I started modeling the morning routine, while my wife and I continued to follow the exact same evening and bedtime routine she set in place when we had one child and he was still drooling and in diapers.  That consistency has clearly displayed our expectations of the children and it makes the time we have with them after school more organized and enjoyable.

(Nothing screams routine than the summer when for one week the kids had no programs, no camp, and were going crazy looking for things to do.  “I’m bored” was a common expression of frustration from the kids many times during each and every day.)

With all that being said, here is the schedule I presented to the children on Labour Day, and we worked through today, their first day of school.  I’m sure there will be some tweaking done, but I can say that this morning’s routine was the smoothest it has been in a long time – for them and for me!

Children’s Schedule for the 2014 / 2015 School Year.

Good Morning!

Before you come downstairs in the morning, please:
• Make Your Bed
• Get Dressed
• Clean Room / Tidy the floor

Kitchen Routine:
• Say good morning to your father and to each other
• Drink a glass / cup of water
• Have a piece of fruit
• Help with, or make your own, breakfast
• Eat it

When You Have Finished Breakfast:
• Rinse off your dishes
• Place them in the dishwasher, or
• Wash them, dry them and put them away
• Make sure your place is clean (no food on your chair or the floor)

Help with Lunches:
• Make sure your lunch box is out, and put in it;
• Nori
• Vegetables
• Apples sauce with a spoon
• Fill your water bottle

Go Upstairs To Your Bathroom:
• Wash your face
• Brush your hair
• Wait for Daddy to help you brush your teeth

*Hug and Kiss Mummy

Front door:
• Sunscreen on / Snowpants on
• Make sure your glasses are in your bag
• Place your lunch and water bottle in your bag

8am – LEAVING the house to walk to school.

Home from school:
• Wash your hands
• Bring your lunch box to the kitchen and empty it
• Put dishes in dishwasher
• Put lunchbox on the counter
• Empty your water bottle
• Put water bottle on the counter

Free Time:
• Play / read / relax / enjoy.
• NO electronics during the week
• NO TV during the week

Dinner Prep:
• Come to the kitchen to see what you can do to help with dinner
• Set the kitchen table – plates, cutlery, glasses, napkins, water, and the mats in the middle of the table

Homework Time:
• Practice piano
• Spirit of Math
• Regular homework

Dinner Time:
• When You Are Finished, Ask to be Excused
• Thank Mummy for making you another amazing dinner
• After dinner take your plate, cutlery and glass to the counter. Put your napkin in the recycling under the sink
• Rinse plate and cutlery and place in the dishwasher
• Place glass in the dishwasher

Before Bed:
• Put everything in your bag for tomorrow and place it at the front door.
• If you are having a snack, make sure you clean up properly afterwards
• Put your dirty clothes into your hamper
• Brush your teeth
• Floss
• Hugs and Kisses
• NO coming out of bed! Get a good night’s sleep for another amazing day tomorrow.

Good night and sleep tight!

We love you!

 

The kids love the schedule, although my boys prefer a much simpler routine based on the current WWE Champion Brock Lesner;

EatEatSleepConquerRepeat

Sleep

Conquer

Repeat.

 

Parents, How Often Has THIS Happened To You?


Parents, how often has THIS happened to you?

I came into my oldest son’s bedroom this morning and on his night table was not one, but 2 tubes of toothpaste.

He was still sleeping.

I had to ask, so I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Good morning Linus!” I said.

“Hi Daddy”, was his cheery reply.

“Why are there 2 tubes of toothpaste on your night table?” I asked, without judgement.

“For the commercial!” he replied.

“Oh” I said as I thought better of asking more questions. “You can sleep more if you would like”.

“Thanks Daddy”.

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