Well, he actually would fit through the front door of our house as we have a large front door on our mid-town Toronto home. If this were our last house, then no. He’d have to go to the back of the house and through the door on the deck – that is if the deck could hold him…
The Big Show, a WWE Superstar and the “world’s largest athlete” stands 7’00″ tall and weighs somewhere in the neighbourhood of 450lbs. Questions about him, and other WWE wrestlers are not uncommon in our household, and the surprising part is that it’s not just coming from one or two if the kids, but from all three!
“Mummy, who do you like better? Damien Sandow or Cody Rhodes?”, asks 5-year-old Stewie.
“Who???” replied my wife.
“Mummy, if the Undertaker was going to give me the chokeslam, I would just keep kicking him in the knee so he couldn’t pick me up”.
I think it’s awesome that they have so much interest in Professional Wrestling, aka Entertainment!
My wife thinks its crazy.
Of all the kids, 5-year-old Stewie is the most obsessed with wrestling and why not. It’s aimed at his age. He knows that WWE Superstar Tensai is a terrible wrestler, and he knows that if the Big Show jumped on his bed, the bed would break. Stewie doesn’t try to wrestle with his brother but he like the WWE and the male soap opera that comes with the shows. While the discussion and bantering is usually above his level of understanding (like World Champion Shaemus telling his opponent that his last name is “Lipshitz” because he is part-Irish and part-Jewish, then continuing to say that his father always said; “If your lipshitz (lip-shits) then what does your arse do?” It was funny.
Second to Stewie has to be 2-year-old Boo. She also loves the WWE and it’s cast of characters. She mimics the move that WWE Superstar Kane (aka the devil’s favourite child) makes before he causes fire to shoot out of the ring posts and if you sing to her, “Weeellllll…” She will finish with, “It’s the Big Show… The big, bad show that I know” which is Big Show’s enterance theme song. Boo also loves to sing the theme song that belongs to the “Funkasauras, Brodus Clay”. Somebody call my momma, indeed!
Now the problem with watching WWE here in The Urban Daddy household is that 7-year-old Linus, is still developing his ability to determine what is acceptable to do to his siblings and what is going to get him in a boatload of trouble, like when he thinks it is okay to try some of the moves on his brother, sister or nanny – like when he pulls a sock out of his pants and proceeds to deliver the cobra to them.
I used to show them on TV in slo-motion that it’s all acting and they do not touch each other most of the time and I thought that was sinking in, but if his brother is in the wrong mood – granted they are the same size and weight – Stewie races over to Mummy, tells he Linus was wrestling with him and it never ends well. Even if Stewie started it, or was enjoying it, once he tells mummy, mummy tells Linus and Stewie that they are never to watch wrestling again then of course she tells me to never have it on the TV.
As a result, I tend to watch my PVR’d WWE and TNA shows during my blogging / course time which is usually after 10pm until (recently) 3am. The kids see it sometimes when flipping the channels and sometimes on You Tube but they certainly have some friends at school that they talk about it with in order to get their fix, but they also ask each of us a LOT of questions.
Today’s questions – and keep in mind my wife knows nothing about wrestling and detests the “violence”;
Linus – “Who would win a match between Andre the Giant, The Big Show, Mark Henry and Ryback?”
Stewie – “Why do they say Let’s go Cena, Cena Sucks?”
Linus – “Can I see King Kong Bundy? Is he still alive? How much did he weigh?”
Stewie - “Daddy, who would win a match between all the people of Canada and every wrestler in the world? You know who? The people of Canada because I would kick all the wrestlers in the legs and beat them myself.”
Linus – “Why did King Lawler have a heart attack? Was it because of CM Punk?”
Stewie – “How do the wrestlers choose their music? Is it choosed for them or do they pick it and if they pick it, how do they know if its any good?”
Linus – If Ryback can pick up Tensei, can John Cena pick both of them up? I think the Rock can because he picked up the Big Show.”
And so it goes… Every day, tons and tons of questions about wrestling and little Boo walking around imitating the wrestlers. “Feed me more” in her best Ryback voice. Or I’ll say ”Woo woo woo” and she will blurt out “You know it!” I’ve even seen the kids running around pointing their fingers in the air while channting; “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
I grew up watching wrestling on TV and attending events back at the old Maple Leaf Gardens here in Toronto, and I’d wrestle around with my friends but I knee what to try and what to stay away from and I think they are able to do the same. The concern nowadays is that if they try this stuff at achool, it looks bad on them and, well, I’ll get even more peculiar looks from the parents. I would like to think they know not to do that, but I cannot be 100% sure they do.
We coddle our kids so much these days. Whatever happened to a good chairshot and a powerbomb before bed?
- Brotherly Advice: Don’t Piss off G-d. (urbandaddy.wordpress.com)