Please do not call your child a “Dumb Ass”

I accidentially called my son a “Dumb Ass” on the weekend.

Not because he opened the back door before the house alarm was disabled, not because he constantly makes his brother cry out, “NO LINUS”, and certainly not because he puts more effort into being a pain in the ass, than being a good kid… I actually don’t know why I called him that, I think it just slipped out.

To be honest – that excuse sucks – “I don’t know”. It’s an excuse I hear from him all the time.

Me: “Linus, why did you try to push your brother off the kitchen stool?”
Linus: “I don’t know”.

Me: “Linus, why did you push that girl at school?”
Linus: “I don’t know”.

Me: “Linus, why did you use a screwdriver and etch your name into your brother’s wall, then blame it on him when you know he can’t write?”
Linus: “I don’t know”.

Well, I know why I called him that and why he frustrates me so much. IT’s because he reminds me too much of me when I was that age – save for the fact that his is smarter and way cuter.

I don’t want him struggling through life being the class clown – with people laughing at him instead of with him – then getting older without having any friends and having people look at you like your a giant loser / idiot / dumb ass day in and day out. It’s hard work!

The main differences I see right away is that this boy has a LOT of confidence and we encourage him to ne his own boy, but he has got to be respectful, which I was, but he is not! That is my only must for him. He must behave and be kind. I expect it from him and we battle over this. His biggest issues to date surround respecting others personal space.

But enought about Linus…

In general, feel it IS better to be a dumb ass than a smart ass, right?!?

So who else is a dumb ass… Let me tell you who. The woman in the Tim Horton’s drive-through who parked on the other side of the path and walked over to the microphone to place her very LONG, complicated coffee / lunch order. If she really wanted to walk, and order something that crazy, she should have gone inside. It’s called a drive-through, not a drive in, park, get out, order and hold up everyone else-through… dumb ass.

Then again, when she went to pick up and pay for her food, she parked far enough to the side that she had to again get out of her car to grab her food and pay, but close enough that when she opened her door she smashed it up against the brick wall. Ouch. Dumb ass indeed.

And then there was a family a Home Depot… I was there to get a key for our house for our nanny who lost hers. While there I saw they had some beautiful raspberry and grape plants that were huge, on sale, and already flowering so I picked up 6 of them.

They are heavy.

I went to the checkout line and witnessed this exchange;

An elderly woman who appeared to have severe athritis was in line with a potted flower and 2 bags of soil.

A very tall, pretty woman walked over to her with a packet of seeds in her hand and asked the woman if she would mind, if she went ahead of her.

The elderly woman agreed.

Then once in line, this womans father rolled up with his trolly full of plants and soil and together they explained to the elderly woman that they were together.

The elderly woman was frustrated but let them go ahead, the whole time I was behind the elderly woman holding 6 heavy plants.

Man these people took forever. The cashier was in training and once they were finally checked out, this family – now 4 of them – needed help getting their stuff to their car. So after much debate (I would have said, take your fucking plants to your fucking car and get the fuck out of here – or something like that), the son went and got their car and did what I have never seen anyone do before…

He backed his SUV up over the sidewalk, in between the aisles of plants and right up to the exit of the garden centre so that neither he, nor anyone else could get out.

Then he opened the trunk and sat inside while they waited for someone to come put their stuff inside.

After a good 5 minutes, the father grabbed the stuff and tossed it inside, but then the entire family went back inside the store.

Dumbfounded, we all stood outside realizing that no one could escape the garden centre until the truck was moved and the new cashier was going to shit his pants because now the elderly woman needed help getting those bags of soil to her car.

Finally someone much more senior showed up, saw the car, freaked out that it was there, then proceeded to walky-talky the store to have it removed.

By that time, but the woman and Ihave managed to wiggle though the plants area and escaprre for light, fresh air and food and water.

That, my friends, makes this family a family of dumb-asses.

Agree?

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