Parenting stuff; Kids, Coffee and Imagination.

I finally won my first treat on Tim Horton’s Roll up the rim to win contest, on Monday, when I won a donut followed up yesterday with a free coffee win.

My record is 23 winners, none more than the coffee / donut prize.

My 6-year-old intervened in a conversation my wife and I were having, by snapping his fingers at me and saying; “Turn on your brain, Daddy”.

My 4-year-old explained to me this morning that the reason his room light was on at 6am was because he and his stuffed animals were “preparing” for the “show”. They needed to practice. Slave-driving animals! Don’t they know a 4-year-old needed to sleep…

Things I hate today:

BMW’s – yes, still.
Coffee cup lids that flip back when you clip it to the top of the cup, usually throwing coffee back at me, usually when I’m wearing a white shirt.

The bathroom guillotine – men you know what I’m talking about. When you have to pee, and you pull down your underwear and they snap back up pinning you between the underwear band and the top of the zipper. With the potential for flying fluids, and the excruciating pain, it can be a very frustrating experience.

I don’t like ordering a coffee and getting to drink it and finding it either the wrong mix ie/ regular instead of double double, or not stirred, so sitting on the bottom waiting for my last swig of coffee is all the sugar.

Sometimes I hate my GPS. Take for example 2 weeks ago when I was trying to clean up the old destinations – you know, so it will stop thinking home is our old address – and instead I somehow managed to set the course for a mystery location somewhere in the world, based on its longitude and latitude.

Needless to say, when I went to take Linus’ friend home – who lives really close to us – the GPS was sending me somewhere 8344kms away.

It took me a week to make that destination go away, but in doing that I have managed to turn off all the guidance systems… Geez. At least it’s better than maps and getting lost.

Last story:

My 4-year-old wanted an apple before bed. He referred to it as a “Ta-poo-ach”, which is apple in Hebrew.

Then he said it again, and again and again, so that I was forced to cut him off by singing, “Ta-poo-ach, ta-poo-ach, ta-poo-achhhhhhh”.

He stopped my and said, “Daddy, do you know G-d can hear you?”

“Yes, I know”, I replied rolling my eyes.

“He can see that too, Daddy. G-d is everywhere”.

“How do you know that?” I questioned, “You go to public school, it’s your brother than goes to private school?!?”

“My animals told me!” He shot back.

“They know everything!”.

Is it wrong that my kids entertain the hell out of me???

One thought on “Parenting stuff; Kids, Coffee and Imagination.

  1. re: coffee – I won a donut and swapped it for a winning coffee rim. Not bad, eh?
    re: GPS – thanks, I needed that laugh!
    re: kids – too funny – and I think you should watch out to make sure those animals don’t decide to take over the world!

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