Thank you readers for a record month!

Thank you for making January (with one day left) the best month for this blog… EVER.

Hits this month were a quarter more than my previous best month, which was December, and comments this month were a staggering 65% more than my previous best.

I really appreciate each time someone takes the time to read, or comment on something I have written. 

Whether you are reading it directly at www.urbandaddy.wordpress.com, or on Facebook under my profile, or my urbandaddy page (come “like” me), or on Twitter @urbandaddyblog. You have taken the time to click through and I appreciate it.

Let’s have a kick-ass February!

Sincerely,

This urban daddy

Random thoughts you need to know about and can impress friends; while you run for the border.

1.  In Canada clear bevereges are not allowed to contain added caffeine, hence the reason why Sprite is caffeine free.

2.  Only one of the following list of hot dogs has any amount of nutritional content in it.

       Care to guess?

• Beef
• Pork
• Chicken
• Turkey
• Vegetable

If you guessed veggie, you are correct.

This tidbit came from my wife who is nearing the end of her training to become a nutritionist.

3.  Did you know that Iran’s nuclear facility (for “energy” not “weapons”) has a system glitch and is offline. 

While the entire world was waiting for Israel to blow up the facility, a computer worm has attacked the facility and set back the program by at least 4 years.  Added to that the fact that the scientists who were working on this have been killed, means trouble for the Iranians.  Bombs… Worms… Who knew the worms would be more dangerous!

4.  WTF Taco Bell?

Taco Bell is being sued for having less actual beef in their “taco meat” than the USDA standard amount requires for a product to be called “beef”.  UGH. 

The USDA standard considers beef to be ”flesh of animals”.  To meet this standard a product must have at least 40% beef, or flesh of animals in it.   On it’s website, Taco Bell states: “Our taco meat is made from USDA-inspected beef and is subjected to quality check points. It tastes great because it’s simmered in 12 authentic seasonings and spices and is never frozen. Moreover, our taco meat is leaner than what you’ll find in a restaurant-cooked hamburger because of the unique way that we prepare our taco meat and remove fat.”

Rather than beef, Taco Bell uses a substance known as “taco meat filling”, which has 36% beef in it. 

So what the hell is in my taco?  you ask.  Well the remainder of the Taco Bell’s “meat filling product” consists of “extenders” like water, Isolated Oat Product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch, sodium phosphate and silicon dioxide (which is sand).  All meant to increase volume while keeping costs down.

Here is the entire list of ingredients;

Beef, water, isolated oat product, salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, oats (wheat), soy lecithin, sugar, spices, maltodextrin (a polysaccharide that is absorbed as glucose), soybean oil (anti-dusting agent), garlic powder, autolyzed yeast extract, citric acid, caramel color, cocoa powder, silicon dioxide (anti-caking agent), natural flavors, yeast, modified corn starch, natural smoke flavor, salt, sodium phosphate, less than 2% of beef broth, potassium phosphate, and potassium lactate.

This explains why there is a question on the Taco Bell FAQ page asking if there is “sand” in my food… UGH.  Yummy sand-tacos, or as my kids have said before, “GROSS BEEF”.

My friend googled Silicon dioxide and Google spit out a picture of a desert.  Seriously folks!

I googled anti-dusting agent and all I got was that it is a secret agent who hates dust.  LOL.

5.       One year ago today, the International Bowling Museum and Hall of Fame had its grand opening in Arlington Texas.  Yee Haw!

Here is what this urban daddy is reading

Here are the 3 books I am reading right now;

1. Honey I Wrecked the Kids – Alyson Schafer
2. Corporate Trust Program – The Trust Institute / The Institute of Canadian Bankers
3. The Follow Through Factor – Gene Hayden

At the completion of these books I will better be able to…

1. Raise my kids
2. Do my job
3. Do what I say I will do

Oh, and last night I read my son 9 chapters of Captain Underpants. He is… and interesting character, that underpants guy… I don’t remember reading silly books when I was a kid – well, I didn’t really read at all until I was 6 or 7.  I do remember reading tons of Archie comics and the sports section of every newspaper I could get my hands on. From there I graduated to the Choose Your Own Adventure series, while my sister raved about Judy Blume.

Now kids read about Professor Poppy P. Poopypants…

Cool, eh?

I’ll let you know how this works out. 

Michael Ignatief’s fall-back job.

While trying to become Prime Minister of Canada, by any means necessary (election, coalition, sell your mother) Federal Liberal leader Michael Ignatief is at his best in front of the cameras, talking out of both sides of his mouth, kissing babies all the while playing down how the Conservatives are kicking his ass.

Away from the camera, Ignatief – who will never be Prime Minister – has his fall back gig already in play.

I saw it myself, with my own eyes…

Here is Ignatief (or Iggy as his friends call him) on the campaign trail.

And here is Iggy as I know (and still dislike him) as the new mascot for the Toronto Rock Lacrosse club.  

 Which Iggy do you like better?  Both have swelled heads and both appear to be very strong.  But I suspect of you check inside both heads, you will be disappointed by what you find.

We’re all adults (or parents) here: A post about… Semen, Vulva and Penis.

I wasn’t sure whether or not to post this blog – it as been sitting in my draft folder for ages, but due partially to lack of creativity and my boys swimming – I am pressing send and holding my breath.

As the father to 3 children - 2 boys and a girl - the conversations around body parts have been common place in my household for just over a year now and do not seem to be going away.

It all started when my daughter, Berry, was born.  I caught both boys staring at her, puzzled why she had no penis.  My wife and I found it quite funny, and we had to explain that girls don’t have a penis - to be anatomically correct, instead of telling them about her vagina, we’ve been calling it a vulva. 

I recall at one point my son questioned the use of that word as “mummy drives a volvo”. Yes she does, and she also has a vulva… All girls do.

I’ve caught the boys looking for their sister’s penis in case she really does have one and it is just hiding in her diaper or sleeper.  It took my middle child, Stewie, the better part of six months before he was satisfied that she did not have one.

We encourage the kids to be open and honest about their bodies and ask questions if they really want to know. 

So I was not surprised when last week at swimming my oldest boy was looking at the penis of another boy. I caught him and when we left the change room, I casually asked him what he was looking at on that boy. Defensively, he said, “nothing”.  I told him it was okay to look and I further enquired if he was looking at the boys un-circumcised penis, since all the men and boys he knows are circumcised.  He had never seen one before.

“Yes”, he admitted.  But then he wanted to know why.  So I explained to him that Jewish babies (but not just Jewish babies) have the skin that covers the head of their penis removed by a doctor called a moyel so that it is healthier. He totally bought that and we left.

I don’t want the kids to have the hangups with their bodies that I did growing up as a fat, awkward child. I wouldn’t shower in gym glass, and was very unsure of myself growing up.

I have two defining moments for me which helped contribute to my awkwardness and I do want to see those situation occur for my kids and cause them the same stress and frustration that it caused me, plus no one likes the stinky boys. 

I remember in grade 6 trying to be one of the boys and wanted to show that I could talk like the cool kids. The song “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight runner was playing on my Sony Walkman (tape!) and I said to my friends, “Hey this song says there is cum on Eileen”. I was very proud of myself.

My friend turned to me and said, “Hey! Dude! My mom’s name is Eileen” and off he stormed.

I felt terrible.

I tried apologizing the next day at work but he wouldn’t talk to me. I explained to my other friends I didn’t know but they seemed amused by my stress rather than concerned, and it wasn’t until 2 months later when this friend told me he was pulling my leg and his mom was not Eileen. He liked that I was stressed over it.

Geez.

From that point on I promised not to talk like a potty mouth to my friends.  I held on to my inner-perv.

Next situation:

Sue Johanson – The legendary sex therapist came to my high-school for her annual talk.  In anticipation, we were asked to write questions for her and to drop them into a hat on the way into the forum, so that at some point she would be able to answer them.  For some odd reason my friend and I decided it would be a good idea to write a funny question for her to answer.  I don’t recall the questions being bantied about but boy do I remember the one I chose to write down;

“What does cum taste like?”

For some reason being a 13-year-old boy, this was funny.  Like REALLY funny.

So throughout the whole 2 hour session my friend and I sat near the back of the room, under a boardroom table, waiting for that moment when she would read the questions.  When it came time for questions we sat there, eagerly listening to the really smart questions, and some dumb ones, waiting for our moment.

Not thinking for a moment what a dumb-ass I was in school – unable to control my laughter at the best of times and getting tossed out of many classes for it – I failed to think this through.  The moment she picked up my question – the last question of the session, and she read it, I burst out in uncontrollable laughter along with my friend.  It took seconds before the entire grade – teachers included – were looking at us, clearly knowing who wrote this idiotic question.

But Sue… Professional Sue… Took it all in stride and answered the question;  “salty” was her response.

I felt like a fool.

My friend did too.

We spent the rest of the week denying that we were behind the question, instead stating there was a joke that was told that was super-funny.  That joke was not able to be repeated.  I’m sure everyone knew.

You live and you learn.

These two incidents definitely set the tone for my comfort around talking about sex, and it took me quite a few years to re-adjust.  I don’t want my kids to have to go through that, which is why I want to be open about it and let them know that we will answer any questions they may have on the topic.

How are you handling these types of questions around your kids?  How will that differ from the way your folks discussed it with you.

Thursday Thirteen – 13 New Year’s Resolutions for 2011

This Thursday Thirteen represents my list of 13 things I actually will do in 2011 (in no particular order).

13. Decorate our house.  This is the 15 year house and unlike the last house, we want to take our time and make it beautiful.

12. Spend more time with my wife – but quality time, not just time sitting in the same room.  I always have good intentions, but am slow on the follow through.  Wouldn’t you want to spend as much time as possible with your best friend?

11. Enjoy life more – Take time each day to take a deep breath and live a little.  I’m going to be 40 soon and I really want to enjoy my life more.

10. Learn tax – Each and every day I need to take a little longer and learn a little more about the field I have now spent 14 years in.  In order to continue to succeed, I need to become a master in my own domain, and that means with www.intaxicating.ca

9. Take vocal lessons to learn how to sing – I have the world’s worst voice.  I can’t sing and when I talk my voice is scratchy.  I want to do more with this voice.  Some added confidence will help.

8. Lose 25 pounds – Really lose weight… Long lasting.  I’ve done it before when I dropped 50 pounds at the age of 19 and I want to do it again at the age of 39.

7. Build a nice wardrobe – I have no casual clothes.  My dress pants have pleats and my blue ones have a hole in the ass (from that #$$%^%$ moth in our closet, I think).  I need power clothes!

6. Come clean to myself that I like blogging and being a daddy blogger.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I just need something more advanced than a flip phone my employer gave me.

5. Get into the top 50 on Jedi vs. Sith.   I’m currently 58th in the world out of over 6 million players… Nerd!

4. Appear in the newspaper in one of those social scene spreads.  I’ve always wanted to since I was a kid, and considering how bad I am at being really social, it would mean to me that I got my shit together and fast.

3. Work at putting my interests and the interests of my family ahead of the interests of others (including strangers). 

2. Get organized so I can excel in certain key areas in my life instead of scraping by.

1.  Start acting my age!  It’s okay to feel young, but not so cool to act it all the time.

What are your resolutions?  Have you achieved or broken any yet this year?

It is that time of year… Tax time!

For those of you who are new to this site, or who drop in occasionally, you may not know that in my real life, I play a tax manager.  I post tax information that I find interesting, or that I have to dig up and research on at www.intaxicating.wordpress.com, soon to be at www.intaxicating.ca once I find the password and username that I misplaced.

So what that means is that this time of year – actually beginning in August -is super-hectic.  Beginning December 1st, my walk hurried into a jog, and now in mid-January I am already in full sprint.  I’m not sure ho long this pace can keep up with 2 1/2 months to go…

I had an idea how this day was going to shape up, when the first song I heard on my iPad was ”Under Pressure” by Queen.  I spent most of the day pushing ahead tasks and projects where there was room to move them, while trying to get other projects completed ahead of schedule, while putting out fires that happened throughout the day.  Nothing new for me, and to be honest, since I really like doing this a lot, it makes for a fun time.  I’m just reminded as I get more and more tired that I need to get to the gym as that got me through 2 previous tax seasons.

I also realized today that taking care of my kids on Saturday, while awesome, really set me back a bit, when on Sunday I took the boys tobogganing for a couple of hours in -25 degree celcius (with windchill) weather and boy did that fresh air mess with us all.

Both kids were exhausted at night and I was a disaster on Monday. I actually went right to sleep at 8pm after all the kids were asleep and slept right through until 7am the next morning.  I would say that was the most uninterrupted sleep I have had in 6 years.

It was also today when I realized how much I appreciate my wife, and that she does what I did on Saturday each and every day.  Sure we have a nanny to help her out but she still works, feeds us, pays the bills, programs the entire family and keeps the house running smoothly…  Zowie.  I feel like such a wuss now.

I often ask her opinion on how to manage a situation because while she has not managed people per se, she manages the household, the kids, the nanny, and in her former life as a high-school teacher, she managed to stay sane.

I think the task of managing kids is very similar to managing adults as in both cases you are looking to make sure both groups do what is right for themselves and for the rest of the team / family, while at the same time you want to make sure there is no conflict and you have to work together to get the job done. 

For both kids and adults, working towards a goal is key.  IT’s easier to track progress that way and having a prize at the end of the maze makes the race more worthwhile.

In reading “Honey, I wrecked the kids” by Alyson Schafer, I am learning new less physical ways to interact with the kids and get them to do what my wife and I expect from them.  I am finding success.  Instead of asking Linus to remove his plate from the table night in and night out, Alyson suggests that since kids know their responsibilities, a simple one word reminder should suffice, so this morning when Linus got up and walked away from the table, I said; “Linus.  Plate.”  He turned around, walked back to the table and removed his plate.

Another tool is the re-direct.  Linus was making a spitting noise that I cannot stand and instead of asking him to stop and give him all that attention for the wrong reasons, I merely asked him different questions until he forgot what he was doing and started chatting with me.

Good one Alyson!

The last technique that I am finding to be a great help (I’m halfway through the book) is the introducing of consequences.

You don’t have to clean your room if you don’t want to put I will not read a book to anyone is a messy room, worked wonders the other day.  As does the line, you can stay downstairs and play if you want.  You will miss snack before bed and if that is your choice, that is okay with me.

Can’t wait to get through the book… One night parenting, next night taxation, following night parenting…

As an aside, I’m looking for a beginner yoga class in the Toronto area that begins after our kids are in bed, so around 8pm.  Anyone?

Being Daddy for a Day (and surviving without any visible scars)

Saturday was a great day in the urban daddy household.  Urban Mummy was at the Ontario Science Centre all day for a nutrition seminar, and that meant I got to play full-time Daddy to my own kids for the day.

Originally the plan was a trip to karate for the boys, then meeting my mother and sister for brunch, then to visit my grandmother with the kids, and take them home so the baby could nap… The rest was up in the air.

Unfortunately someone forgot to tell the City of Toronto that it was going to snow so it was near impossible to drive this morning on the slippery unplowed roads, so I told my mothersister to stay home and the plans changed.

Firstly, karate was great!

Stewie got his green advanced belt.

…and Linus got another stripe for his yellow belt.

Special thanks to Elliott @ Supernova for the pics.

After karate we came home and the boys earned 2 cookies by shovaling the neighbours sidewalk and driveway.  They worked SO hard.

Then we came inside and while the baby slept for 3 awesome hours, the boys and I played, cleaned, watched some TV, read and had a great time.

At 5pm it was bath time for everyone, I put up the last of the mezuzahs in the upstairs, and UM came home just before 6pm.

Upon seeing her, Berry said, “Mama meh” (Mummy-milk) and in the process of getting her dressed in her PJ’s she fell off the bed backwards on her back / bum.  She barely cried, but fell asleep feeding – an exhauting day for her.  She was is in her crib for the night by 6:30pm. 

The boys ate dinner, then snack and were off to bed by 7:30pm, as UM and I had dinner plans with some friends later tonight – no kids.  I can’t wait!

Oddly enough neither boys wanted my wife to leave (not me) and one developed a tummy ache and the other was having nightmares (without having been asleep yet).  We managed to get both settled and we left.

Dinner was fantastic as was the company.  We had a great time and returned home around 1:30am with a new found understanding as to why you do not google things when playing the game “Headbandz”.

The kids of course we up well before 7 this morning… Oh well…

So there!  I not only survived the day with 3 kids – my three kids – but I had a blast.

National Delurking Day 2011.

In the blogging world a tradition started a couple years ago, and it looks like today is that day where you, my faithful readers actually take the time to post a comment, no matter how big or small.   

Today is National Delurking Day. 

So please post a comment.  Happy delurking!

Update:  In the 12 hours since this post has been up, 90 people have come and visited, and only one delurked… Come on people.  Don’t be shy.

Stuff on my mind today

I just read that the Marilyn Denis Show, www.marilyn.ca  is guest hosted by Cabbie (Cabrel Richards) from The Score.  If you have even seen The Score, you will want to watch Cabbie in this new venue.  With Denis, a Toronto radio and TV legend in Toronto pairing up with Cabbie, this show is now a must see.  Set your PVR’s.

Now for the, is it just me or is the world getting stupider, portion of our show…

When Sarah Palin accused journalists and pundits of “blood libel” in the wake of the deadly Arizona shootings, it caused quite an uproar.  At first I figured it was because it’s Palin and she says a lot of dumb stuff, but apparently, bad on me for not knowing more about my history.

The term “blood libel” is a direct reference to a time when many European Christians blamed Jews for kidnapping and murdering Christian children to obtain their blood.  Jews were tortured and executed for crimes they did not commit.

In a video posted to her Facebook page early Wednesday Palin accused the US media of inciting hatred and violence after the shooting that gravely wounded US Rep. Gabrielle Giffords by saying, ”But, especially within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible.”  I doubt she said this with the intent of being anti-Semitic…  She doesn’t seem that smart.  Sorry.

A police officer in Toronto was killed when he was run over by a stolen snow plow which went on a rampage in downtown Toronto… I feel sorry for the cop and his family. But how and why do crazy people get all the press now? One shoots a congresswoman in Arizona, another steals a snowplow.  What ever happened to getting your fifteen minutes of fame without hurting someone like on YouTube by posting a video of yourself.

Why in the world is everyone so excited about Ted Williams, the homeless guy with the great voice.

His story is a slap in the face to all the homeless. Let me first state that I detest that there are homeless in the streets (had to step over one yesterday while working downtown – it was -15 celsius and this guy was ona sewer grate. They are gross, smelly and bugging people for money for wine. The City should be rounding them up, cleaning them up and doing whatever it takes to get them back on their feet. I think as human we owe that to them. They are there for a reason, usually related to some mental illness. Ignoring them or feeding them is not the solution…

So back to Williams… He gets noticed for having a nice voice, picked up, cleaned off and people expect him to change. He’s in rehab today after getting in a fight with his daughter who didn’t care about him and let him live in the street for so many years.

Before we thrust him in the spotlight, we need to take a step back at all these lost souls living in the streets without the golden voices, and figure out a plan to help them succeed, not to for our benefit. Williams’ handlers might be worried now about their meal ticket…

Under the category of WTF…
An Iranian deputy foreign minister has said the United States and Israel are to blame for the collapse of Lebanon’s government.

Lebanon was without a government on Thursday after Hezbollah and its allies resigned from cabinet over a UN probe into the assassination of former premier Rafiq Hariri.

Tell me how this is Israel’s fault? And why exactly is Iran so interested in Lebanon, now? I’ll tell you why.

For months, terrorist group, Hezbollah, which is backed by Iran and Syria, had been pushing current PM Saad Hariri to reject a UN tribunal which was going to indict senior Hezbollah members in connection with Rafiq Hariri’s 2005 assassination.

So to clear this up… Hezbollah – a terrorist organization according to the UN – is involved in the killing of Lebanon’s PM, then blames Israel and the US for the releasing of a UN report blaming Hezbollah.

Errr, yeah. Nice swerve… NOT.

And last thought.

Who, or what the fuck is Nicki Minaj? I heard a song of hers earlier in the day in my car where she uses the expression, “nappy headed hoes” throughout a song which was the exact same expression used by Don Imus, the long-time radio host which got him fired from radio in 2007.

Below is a recap of that incident, I encourage you to read through it, and please take note of the last paragraph.

 For Imus, it all started on April 4, 2007, during a discussion about the NCAA (US college) Women’s Basketball Championship, Imus characterized the Rutgers University women’s basketball team players as “rough girls” commenting on their tattoos.  His executive producer responded by referring to them as “hardcore hos”.  The discussion continued with Imus describing the girls as “nappy-headed hos”.

Imus immediately issued a statement of apology:

I want to take a moment to apologize for an insensitive and ill-conceived remark we made the other morning regarding the Rutgers women’s basketball team, which lost to Tennessee in the NCAA championship game on Tuesday. It was completely inappropriate and we can understand why people were offended. Our characterization was thoughtless and stupid, and we are sorry.

Still, on April 9, Imus appeared on the Reverend Al Sharpton’s radio talk show to address the controversy.  Sharpton called the comments “abominable”, “racist”, and “sexist”, and repeated his earlier demand that Imus be fired.

Even CBS board member and former NAACP president Bruce Gordon said that Imus should not be allowed to come back even after the suspension, claiming that his remarks “crossed the line, a very bright line that divides our country.”

Eventually, CBS Radio cancelled Imus in the Morning by making a statement that contained some of the following language; “From the outset, I believe all of us have been deeply upset and revulsed by the statements that were made on our air about the young women who represented Rutgers University in the NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship with such class, energy and talent. There has been much discussion of the effect language like this has on our young people, particularly young women of color trying to make their way in this society. That consideration has weighed most heavily on our minds as we made our decision.”

What’s important here is that the rationale for Imus being cancelled / suspended was the impact of his words on young woman of colour and condemnation came from all over the place, yet these same people – Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson who jumped all over Imus have been really silent as Nicki Minaj sings about it… I believe this is called a double standard!

Ironically, just hours after his firing, Imus attended a 3-hour meeting with the basketball team where Imus again apologized and the team accepted it. It was also revealed that the basketball team had NOT asked for Imus to be fired.

Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton’s role in the controversy has drawn complaints. Conservative African-American columnist Armstrong Williams criticized Jackson and Sharpton for “ratcheting up the rhetoric” and holding Imus to a “higher standard” than they would have themselves judged by. Sharpton has been criticized for his hypocrisy in not attacking rappers who use similar terms.

In an even more bizarre twist, Nicki Minaj has been nominated for an NAACP Image Award for “Outstanding New Artist”… The same organization that pushed for Imus ousting for the negative impact his song had on woman of colour.

I’m confused.

Could someone please explain…