Today is my oldest boy’s 6th birthday. As the youngest kid in his grade, it’s nice for him to be “catching up” to the rest of the kids. Sure when he comes back to school there will be some kids turning 7-year-old, but to him he’ll be 6 like most of them.
In honour of his 6th birthday (besides our regular celebratory trips to the Mandarin) I have a post I’ve been keeping to post on this day, about a conversation him and I had a couple of weeks ago. It just seems to fit – him turning 6, and me turning 40 in the new year…
Here it is;
In early December, Linus came up to me and asked me to give him some money for school.
“What do you need to buy?” I asked. “Does mummy know?” figuring he’s already hit her up and is now trying to extort money from me…
“I’m not buying anything”, he said. ” I need old money for show and tell… I have some already but I need more.”
He proceeds to show me a penny with the year “2000” on it. “Yes, that’s old… To you!” I say to him. “But surely we can do better than that! Let me find some older coins for you. Like when Daddy was younger. Let’s go look”.
So off we went looking through my change where I found a 1972 penny. “Here buddy… This penny is one year younger than Daddy”, I say.
“GASP! He says, before he turns and bolts out of the room.
“Stewie!!! Daddy gave me REALLY, REALLY, REALLY OLD money!!!”
“Hey!… It’s not that old!”
So off I went to find older money to show the kids that 1972 is not super-museum old. I found a dime from 1968, a penny from 1956 and then a penny from 1932.
We discussed how old this money was by comparing it to ages of family members. He seemed generally unimpressed by it all, even when I handed him another old penny, a 1944 one on his way to school.
So I kept giving him old coins figuring if he wasn’t going to be impressed maybe his teachers would, or some of the other kids in his class would tell their parents… I went and found a whole lot of old coins and gave them to him.
When I came home from work that evening I made a point to ask him right away how his show and tell went and if anyone like his coins.
“Oh yes”, he said.
“My teacher liked them, as did my classmates… Which is why I put them in the charity can, so others can like them too…”
“You did WHAT?”
“Gave them to charity”, he said.
So the point of this story is… I’m really, really, really old and my son likes to give to those less fortunate than he is.
Happy birthday Linus!
Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
May this be the year for Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards everyone…
… Even the person who came to my blog this morning by searching Google for “Santa Claus Porn”.
For those of us you who do not celebrate Christmas, enjoy the Chinese food and movie!
This afternoon I caught a glimpse of how my boys are going to be when they are both in University, together.
Linus, 2 grades ahead of Stewie likes to be bossy and tell people what to do. He coordinates, sets down the rules and you play by them or he kicks you out. Stewie is a good kid who gets better the more Linus gets worse. I love it. I was like that with my sister. The more she got in trouble, the more helpful I became.
So here is the scenario…
We’ve been sick a lot as a family the past couple months, and in conjunction, I noticed my boys do not drink enough water (I see lots of yellow pee). So on Saturday I decided that every hour on the hour we were going to wash our hands and drink a cup of water.
By 11am, I was feeding the baby, Berry, and there was Linus on the counter taking down a cup for him and cup for his brother so they can have a cup of water. While feeding the baby, I obviously became focussed on her because I missed the scene that was developing behind me.
When I turned around this is what I saw…
Stewie sitting at the counter with 5 cups of water surrounding him.
Linus sitting on the counter with the water running, filling up the 6th cup.
Turns out Stewie had already downed 3 cups of water… Linus was re-filling them. He wanted to see how much Stewie could drink. Happy to oblige, Stewie would have drunken until he passed out.
I could picture the boys in University in the bar. Stewie with 10 beers in front of him and Linus – with no beer – chanting “chug, chug, chug” to his brother until he passed out or puked all over the place.
Needless to say, Stewie’s pee was crystal clear the rest of the day and night.
Here is my take on what mattered in the entertainment world during 2010.
I started this in November but as the list got bigger and bigger, I started to get worried that I would never get to post it. Well, here it is… So let’s begin this urban daddy’s look at 2010 with;
The most memorable moments of the year.
On January 12th, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake devastated Haiti 10 miles outside the country’s capital Port-au-Prince, taking almost 250,000 lives and reducing the city to rubble. While the public outpouring of support and money was appreciated, I feel the world missed an opportunity to do the right thing and rebuild this country and provide homes, clean water and hope for the survivors.
Just over a week after winning her first Academy Award (Oscar), Sandra Bullock was blindsided when her husband of five years, some unheard of douche bag named Jesse James (parents who call kids that should be sent to jail or charged with neglect… Or the guy who names himself this might be a wee bit arrogant, no? admitted he had been unfaithful with some tattooed nazi-chick. They divorced.
Heidi Montag’s a role model for the plastic industry, not little girls…
While Heidi Montag faced several personal setbacks – filing for divorce from “husband” Spencer Pratt in July and losing her plastic surgeon to a fatal car crash in August – 2010 will go down as the year the “reality star” underwent a shocking 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day. She went from looking young and kind-of hot, to old, plastic and about 50 years old, where she will remain (barring a drug overdose or premature end from yet another procedure) for the next 200 years. Gross.
While I really didn’t know much, or have a special appreciation for Brittany Murphy, I did find it spooky that 5 months after her death, blamed on an OD, her husband Simon Monjack was found dead in the couple’s home. It turns out he died from the same causes – pneumonia and severe anemia – that killed her.
What would a year in review be without mentioning that lunatic Mel Gibson. 2010 brought this wack-job back into the spotlight after his split from girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva ignited a heated custody battle over baby daughter Lucia. Grigorieva claimed that Mel had assaulted her (punched her and broke her nose) which led to a domestic violence investigation, and soon multiple audio tapes arose allegedly featuring Gibson’s hate-filled rants hit the web. The “leaks” were funny and made Mel seem closer to the looney-bin than to an Academy award… Poor nut-job.
But I think the biggest story of 2010 in entertainment involved Tiger Woods. Starting with the car crash / gash over his head, to the multiple mistresses each now getting their 15 minutes of fame and the resistance big business had in tossing this role model down the river. There were a lot of people hoping and praying it was not true, and if it were not for the mistresses, I doubt we would have known the full story to date. Can anyone look at Tiger the same way again?
Now let’s turn out attention to the most memorable (at least for me) splits of the Year:
1) Courtney Cox and David Arquette.
It was an odd coupling from the start, but the former Friends star and the goofy former WCW World Heavyweight champion seemed to have found lasting love, married since 1999. In 2010, Arquette confirmed it was a combination of his immaturity and their declining sex life that led to their divorce. Now he’s spouting off about how drinking heavily makes him feel better… My only question is what took Cox so long to get the balls.
2) Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Cheater Nazi. Previously discussed.
3) Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria and NBA star Tony Parker. Married in 2007, him like 6 foot 8. Her, like 5 foot 4. Longoria filed for divorce in November 2010 amid rumors of infidelity.
4) Billy Ray Cyrus and wife Trish are divorcing after 18 years of marriage (Hmmm… Miley Cyrus is 18…) filed for divorce on Oct. 27. The parents of six children are going to have a hard time finding someone to re-marry until all the birdies have flown the coup. Although with Miley acting out, is rehab or a sex-tape soon to follow…
5) 3 years seems to be the equivalent to the 7-year-itch in Hollywood as Christina Aguilera and Husband Jordan Bratman divorced after 3 years and one son together. She’s already being photographed holding hands with another guy…
6) For Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels, 9 years of marriage ended in a case of she said, she said as Etheridge said the split was “as mutual as those things can be,” while Michaels says she was “blindsided” and left broke by their breakup.
7) Al and Tipper Gore. After 40 years of marriage, the Washington power couple and parents of four announced their separation in June. The former high school sweethearts said in a statement that it was “a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration.”
8) Kids should not have kids! Bristol Palin and butt-wipe Levi Johnston, Bristol being the teen daughter of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, first shocked the world two years ago – by announcing she and her high school sweetheart were expecting during her mother’s Republican vice-presidential campaign. Two months after the birth of the couple’s son Tripp in March 2009, the pair split, only to reunite this past July. But a month later, they called off their second engagement. Levi is a douche-bag and he totally played the Palin family and is using them for fame and fortune, recently stating that he wants to run for governor because if Sarah can do it, then so can he.
9) Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva.
10) Canadian Pop star Shania Twain & Husband, producer Robert “Mutt” Lange, split up in May, resulted in her making some TV appearances and a lot of Canadian guys happy that they still have a shot. But now in December she announces she is engaged to the ex-husband of the woman her husband left her for… Get it? It’s a real-life wife swap.
11) This one is messed up. Dean Sheremet was married to LeAnn Rimes. Eddie Cibrian was married to Brandi Glanville. Eddie and LeAnn hook up while working on a movie together – Both deny it. Caught kissing they claim to be “rehearsing”. Both get taken to the curb. Then while “single” Eddie and LeAnn begin dating. I hope they both know what they are getting in to…
12) Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris from the TV show Saved by the Bell) and wife Lisa Ann Russell (who apparently was also on the show), after 14 years of marriage.
13) Plastic girl and douche-boy, aka Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, after 15 months of marriage. Pratt, who loves his “fame” was quoted as saying this; “Some say if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen. Well, Heidi couldn’t handle King Spencer’s fame so she got out of the marriage.” Really? King Spencer? Where are you now, numbnuts???
14) Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens – broke up, not divorced, but is there now going to be more leaked naked photos of Vanessa? Chances are good.
15) George Lopez and his wife Ann Serrano had been married since 1993, and she even gave him a kidney when he needed a transplant in 2005. This one stinks, man!
16) Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy after 5 years.
17) Kelsey Grammer and Camille Grammer after 13 years of marriage.
and the biggest breakup of 2010… #18 on our list, was Tiger Woods and about 16 other women…
Done with the bad, now the good… Here is who got hitched in 2010;
Megan Fox and 90201 “star” Brian Austin Green, after 6 years together.
Canadian Alt-rocker Alanis Morisette and rapper Souleye (real name: Mario Treadway). Wonder what she calls him in bed? No I don’t…
Pop star Katy Perry and the very unusual Russell Brand.
Ottawa Senators hockey player Mike Fisher married country star Carrie Underwood.
Glee super-bitch, Jane Lynch married girlfriend Lara Embry.
Hilary Duff’s married hockey player Mike Comrie, and in an unusual turn of events, her tooth fell out in the morning. Lucky for Duff, it was fixed before the wedding started.
(Han Solo married a broom), aka, Harrison Ford married Calista Flockhart. Calista ate a whole raisin at the wedding to really celebrate and she missed the second half of the evening because she was “stuffed”. No truth to the rumours that Chewbacca served as best man.
Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former President Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton joined the tribe as she married some guy named Marc Mezvinsky in front of 400 guests on July 31 in N.Y.
Dawson! James Van Der Beek married some model named Kimberly Brook in Tel Aviv.
With just six guests in attendance, longtime couple Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen said “I Do” in a traditional Jewish ceremony in Paris. Wonder if Borat was wearing that giant green sling shot ball holder bathing suit under his tuxedo?
2010 WTF were you thinking:
A few stories in entertainment caught my attention during the year. I present them to you here.
1) Lindsay Lohan. I remember when she was in court in July, and for some reason she thought it would have been a good idea to have “FUCK U” stenciled in nail polish on her left middle finger. Lohan, who claimed it was a “a joke,” spent 13 days in jail and 23 days in court-ordered rehab for violating probation in a DUI case. She’ll be back… In court and jail.
2) Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, eh? In April, former NYPD Blue star Garcelle Beauvais publicly aired her husband Michael Nilon’s dirty laundry to his Creative Artists Agency colleagues in an angry, company-wide e-mail. “I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago,” she wrote. “I am devastated!!! And I have been duped!!” A month later, the mom of two filed for divorce.
In May 2010, a British tabloid captured the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, on video accepting a $40,000 cash payment – and an additional $700,000 to be wired later – in exchange for access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew.
John Edwards’s former mistress Rielle Hunter finally broke her years-long silence in a GQ interview which led to the end of his 32-year marriage – Edward’s wife recently passed away after battling cancer for many years. I’m sure she needed this stupidity at that moment.
That was fun!
With thanks to Yahoo Finance for the inspiration, here are the biggest corporate casualties of 2010. A bunch of them are automobile lines as a result of this thing called a recession:
Here is the list that meant something to me. If I missed some, please let me know.
A&P. This grocery chain declared bankruptcy in December.
American Media. The publisher of such gossip rags as the Star and National Enquirer, saw a huge hit resulting from the prevelance and quickeness of information in the Internet (Hello, TMZ.com). By November 2010, American Media had a debt load seven times the value of the company, which drove it into bankruptcy.
Blockbuster. This movie-rental chain failed to notice the future happening all around it. While Blockbuster was doubling down on retail stores and dunning its customers with loathsome late fees, Netflix wooed millions of movie fans by mailing them DVDs and offering streaming video over the Web, and Redbox set up convenient kiosks offering overnight movies for a buck. No wonder Blockbuster declared bankruptcy in September.
Hummer. Cool in the early 2000s, 2008 saw the beggining of the end for this brand when oil-prices began to spike. Hummers were looked upon as evil, and the end came after parent firm General Motors declared bankruptcy in 2009.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM). This studio’s archives include classics like The Wizard of Oz, Dr. Zhivago, and Rocky, but a dearth of recent hits–plus debt piled on when a group of private investors bought the studio in 2005–led to a much-anticipated bankruptcy filing in November. MGM should be back on its feet by early 2011.
Mercury. Parent company Ford Motor has turned itself around and become nicely profitable, but it’s not bringing the middling Mercury brand along with it. The aging Mercury got sandwiched between the mainstream Ford lineup and the Lincoln luxury division, with Ford deciding two nameplates was enough. Since most Mercury models were glorified Fords anyway, few car buffs will miss it, but my wife misses her Cougar.
Movie Gallery, which ran Hollywood Video and was once the 2nd largest video-rental chain in the US, first filed for Chapter 11 protection in 2008, then filed again in February 2010 when its restructuring plan failed to gain traction, resulting in all 2400 US outlets being closed and 19,000 workers being laid off.
Newsweek. The Washington Post, which had long owned Newsweek–and lost millions on it in recent years–sold the title to 91-year-old billionaire Sidney Harman. for $1.00 in August.
Oriental Trading Company, declared bankruptcy in August, after writing off more than $400 million in debt.
Pontiac. It was once one of GM’s marquis divisions, with must-have muscle cars like the GTO and the Trans Am. But GM could never revive Pontiac’s faded glory, and when the automaker was forced to shrink following its 2009 bankruptcy, Pontiac got the boot.
Saturn, a newer GM division, and my first car, closed as well.
Yellow Pages. Is anyone surprised by this? I have 2 of them holding up my monitor, and I use http://www.Canada411.ca to look up phone numbers.