Thursday Thirteen

This week’s Thursday Thirteen will be about 13 really dumb things I did before I reached my Bar Mitzvah (13 years old).

13. Used to actually run away from the girls while playing kissing tag in public school

12. Fell over the handlebars of a friend’s 10-speed bike – landing on my head in the middle of an intersection – knocking myself out in the process.

11. Held my fist beside the face of one of the toughest kids in middle school, then called his name. He turned quickly, his face hit my fist – more specifically his braces chewed apart his lip – and boy was he unhappy… My classmates were surprised that I survived… It was that moment that when I realized that I possessed a high pain threshold.

10. Let a relative stranger pick my first girlfriend at school. We went “around” on and off for a while instead of actually hanging out. Granted he asked me who I “liked” but the whole process was… odd.

9. I found some “adult” magazines in the basement of our house and thought the best thing to do would be to take them to school and sell them. I made a lot of money… Until my friend’s mother became suspicious as to why a 12-year-old carried hundreds of dollars in twenty’s in his wallet.

8. Mullet… Nuff said

7. In Hebrew school, I once filled the teacher’s desk drawer full of whipped cream from the spray can. Why? I had never used a can and wanted to see how much was in it. Problem is… I have a conscience and to this day I imagine the kids coming back from recess and seeing their treat gone. The guilt eats me up inside. If I was faced with the same scenario 100 times over again, I would walk away.

6. I’m not sure how to explain this one – it’s kind of personal – but let me say that it is never a good idea to jump on someone’s back when you are a 250 pound kid for fear that you may slide down their back and pierce a certain low-hanging body part with a thick wood pencil. The tip of the pencil snapped off and later that week I pulled it out… UGH.

5. Piggy-backing on the previous one (pun intended), can you say size 52 tall jacket and size 48 pant…

4. I was a pleaser – that on its own is a dumb thing – but I remember my Dad was in Milwaukee on business and brought back for my sister and I a note pad with Michael Jackson on the front. I was young, he was getting a ton of airplay for Beat It, Billie Jean, and Thriller. So I brought it into school and showed it to a cool girl who I liked. She said she REALLY liked it so I gave it to her thinking she would appreciate it and talk to me. She didn’t. I would spend the rest of the school year seeing her use it, wondering why I gave it to her.

3. As a sufferer of migraines right up until I was 18 years old and had my wisdom teeth out, I spent 4 straight hours outside cutting the grass and digging a vegetable garden then for some stupid reason decided I needed to then ride to the convenience store and but a “Twist Shandy” with 0.5% alcohol to refresh myself.
Being thirsty and nearly exhausted I downed this drink and within one hour had the worst migraine ever which saw me incapacitated for the rest of the weekend in severe pain.

2. In grade 4 I was booted out of French class for not being able to identify a picture my teacher was showing me. I really had no idea and she was so irate that she berated me in front of the class for being juvenile (yeah, and?) and for being a clown. She sent me to the principal’s office and asked him to remove me from the class as she was fed up with my lack of seriousness.
Before the principal called my parents he walked me back to the classroom and asked to see the picture.
The picture contained a church, the moon, a clock that read midnight and snow.
He asked me what I told the teacher it was.
I replied that I thought it was a “rumble” as I did not know what it was.
“You seriously don’t know what this is?” He asked me in an angry tone.
“I have no idea”, I replied, now very close to tears.
“It’s a midnight mass”, he blurted out.
“What?” I said.
“Midnight mass!” he said. “You know, where people go to church…”
“Oh, I cut him off… I’m Jewish”.
…
Silence…

The teacher and the principal left the room.
When they returned, they apologized to me and explained the picture.
I got a great mark in the class and if I recall, did very little work the rest of the year…

1. I know everyone does this, but it’s still really dumb.
I came home from school one cold winter day and decided to stick my whole tongue, not just the tip, to our front metal screen door.
Then I panicked and ripped it off, sans a lot of skin…

If you could see me, I’m shaking my head right now at this list… What a dumb dumb.

Tornado in Midland Ontario tonight…

So there was a tornado tonight in Midland, Ontario…  An earthquake this afternoon and more severe weather throughout the night.

A question, however:

Why do all Tornado’s roll through trailer parks?!?

That WAS an Earthquake!!!

Was that an earthquake I just felt up in Richmond Hill, Ontario? Lasted about 30 seconds.

Confirmed! Yes it was.

I was on a conference call with colleagues in Montreal, Calgary, Vancouver and Mississauga and it was felt in Montreal at the same time!

Reports indicate this quake hit between 5.0 on the Richter scale. The epicentre was confirmed to be Gatineau, Quebec.

One update on twitter came in from downtown Toronto where someone felt the quake as they saw President Obama’s helicopter pass his building on the way to the G20.

Can this be blamed on the G20.

This quake was felt in Southwestern Ontario, Montreal, New York and down through Virginia.

Hot Under the Collar

I’m going to have the most hits ever for a post today! Guaranteed.

I was checking out the keywords people used to access my blog, and my sports blog and found some very bizarre / interesting items.

For example;

Miley Cyrus:
Miley Cyrus car upskirt. Remember the big issue a few days ago when some blogger posted a picture of 17 year old Miley Cyrus leaving a car, claiming that she had not panties on… He said the picture was photoshopped as did she – probably because they’d both be in deep shit knowing it to be true. Well the fallout from that was that he rightfully lost advertisers and she is going to wear undies and learn how to exit vehicles.

Anyways, I posted about like that Miley Cyrus song, Party in the USA, and as a result, Google is sending people here looking for that pic.

Sorry folks… Not here.

Captain Lou Albano:
Also still have a TON is hits on Captain Lou Albano. Not sure why people want to look him up unless they are thinking of having elastics attached to their faces and need to see what they’ll look like when they are 60.

McDonalds:
In I’m sure an effort to get publicity, some organization called the Center for Science in the Public Interest has decided they want to sue McDonalds for contributing to obesity among children by putting toys in with Happy Meals. I could joke and say how happy would a Happy Meal be without a toy, but as a parent of 3 children under 6 who have only been to “Ol MacDonalds” once, I am offended that this “public health watchdog group” would use Mc D’s to promote their own interests.

I don’t buy Happy Meal’s because there are toys in it, because I don’t buy Mc D’s at all for my kids. I just don’t feel it’s healthy enough. If they want to eat it when they are older, every now and then, they are more than entitled to make that choice but the ultimate choice is being made by the parent.

To think that toys in food combos are making kids fat is as stupid as saying cookies in my cupboard are going to make my kids fat. By blaming McDonald’s, this organization is passing along the blame of childhood obesity from the parents to the a multi-national corporation. That is totally unfair.

If you don’t want your kids to get fat, then don’t let them eat McD’s 5 days a week, give them lots of exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle. And if you do want your kids to eat there, that’s fine too. They have some healthy food too – I remember seeing apples there.

It’s the parents… Not the toy!!!

Today is the longest day of the year! The Summer Solstice

Today is the official first day of summer yet, being the longest day of the year (or midsummer) it also means that from this day forth we will have less and less sunshine and warmth until winter arrives.

The Summer Solstice occurs exactly when the Earth’s axial tilt is most inclined towards the sun. The solstice occurs on the day of the year with the longest period of daylight. Thus the seasonal significance of the Summer Solstice is in the reversal of the gradual shortening of nights and lengthening of days.

Worldwide, interpretation of the event has varied from culture to culture, but most cultures have held a recognition of sign of the fertility, involving holidays, festivals, gatherings, rituals or other celebrations around that time.

From wikipedia;

The word solstice derives from Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still).

So now my son can stop asking me if we are still in spring and if so, when summer will begin. That is, until he starts asking me if it’s summer and when will be the first official day of fall.

Enjoy the day!

Happy Father’s Day!

I updated my status message on Facebook a few house ago and wished all my daddy friends a happy father’s day. I really feel that being a dad, makes us guys very lucky… For most of us, pretty much every day is father’s day. It all begins at conceptions. We don’t have to grow the child, carry it for 9 months, and birth it. And, if the child is breastfed only, we can’t help with that either. We kind of get off easy, I think. Plus, if you love being a dad like I do, then it’s even better getting to help out in every way possible… I wish I could be the stay-at-home Dad…

Regarding father’s day, I don’t need any fancy gifts from my kids – a hand made card is more than enough. I don’t really need anything substantial from my wife, as I think she’s already contributed the most to our family and is the reason I’m a father. I have never be 100% certain as to who gets and gives gifts for father’s day. We gave to my father-in-law and wife’s grandfather, and I received from my mother and sister… See how it’s odd?!? But all in all, hanging out with my entire family – wife and kids made the day super-special.

Sure there are BBQ’s and some gifts exchanged, but it’s just not the same as say mother’s day. If you miss that holiday… Look out. For us Dad’s… We go with the flow.

Take my weekend, for example…

Saturday:

I made the kids breakfast in the morning and we were going to have a nie healthy bowl of organic fresh oatmeal, until I was attacked by my family with great gifts, beautiful cards and a lot of love! My 3-yea-old, for example made a card for me in school where he has to fill in the blanks. So the first question was, “My Dad is ___ old”. He put 60. The next one was; “My Dad’s job is ____”. He put “Peeling apples”. The next one; “My Dad weighs ____”. He put “2000 pounds”. And there were more. LOL. I got an awesome book in gardening in small spaces. I CAN’T wait to read this book. It’s perfect! and my 6 custom tailored dress shirts from Maxwell the tailor showed up and my wife graciously paid the duty and included them in my gift. The shirts are… Interesting… 3 of them I love. One looks like a table cloth, one like wrapping paper and one… well… she said I need to keep 2 buttons open, hang big gold chains and put a ghetto blaster on my shoulder. It’s a little bit shiny… OK a LOT shiny.

After breakfast and lots of hugs and kisses, we set off to do some organic strawberry picking / strawberry buffet (fresh peas too) with our very cool cousins. We had a blast. We picked, ate and picked some more. I love strawberries!!!

After getting all covered in berries we went to have some yummy veggie Dim Sum for lunch at the Lotus Pond. We’ve been going there for years.

We headed home around 3pm so our 5-year-old, Linus, would have some rest before a 4pm birthday party.

After the party, it was a quick dinner, some packing and moving of boxes in the garage, then bed.
WHEW.

Sunday:

Sunday’s breakfast was yummy and simple, as we all ate Cheerios with fresh picked berries in it. Loved the way the milk turned pink and the sweet berries.
Then off to karate when both kids had awesome classes today. We dragged mummy and Berry (6-month old baby girl) along to see Stewie try for his yellow advanced belt. He got it! He was SO excited. That kid is all focus.

I also like Sunday morning karate because I get to hang with Supernova Elliott for an hour, drink an XL double double Tim Horton’s coffee and talk about being Dad’s to 3 kids. We also talk music, about why our wives won’t eat red meat, and our frustration with hate mongers.

After karate we hit up a high-end men’s store in Toronto called the Coop for a present for my FIL, and after that myself and the boys walked down to the flower / plant sore for some tomato plants, flowers and a ficus benjamina for my wife. The kids love flowers!!!

We came home, cleaned the garage for a couple hours - packed more boxes – then set off to my inlaws for a BBQ. We had 4 generations of her family there. It was pretty amazing.

Then home ,and bed.

Before long it will be Monday and I get to witness the impact of the G20 firsthand… Can’t wait!

Taking the Kids on a Trip to Sleepyville…

I did not need to take the kids for a ride to sleepyville this weekend.

We had a busy, eventful weekend partly because of planned outings and partially because we can’t be home while there are showings of our house.

In the course of each day this weekend, all three kids nodded off and fell asleep while I was driving. That much needed rest got them through the day – and quite frankly allowed us to get through the day too. You know how horrible a day can turn when you have an over-tired child who will not give it up and sleep.

But in weekends past, it has not always been as easy as this past weekend was, on the sleeping front.

Normally in our household, by Sunday afternoon, the kids are over-tired and melting down. They are yelling, fighting, and trying to kill each other. Then come more tears.
I ask them to have a nap, but they refuse.
So I started taking them to “Sleepyville”.
Sleepyville, you see, is where I grab both boys, let them bring their favourite stuffed friend, and we all pile into the car for a drive. A long drive… I drive until both kids are sound asleep. Then I come home and sit in the driveway with them – reading a book – while they snore.
On a typicla trip to “Sleepyville”, my 3-year-old is out within minutes, but it takes the 5-year-old a little bit longer to give in to his exaustedness.

Usually once they both are out cold, I go to a local drive through Tim Horton’s and grab a large double double to keep me awake for the ride home. My favourite drive-thru’s (for those of you in the Greater Toronto area) are at Lawrence and Don Mills and at Leslie and 16th Avenue.

These trips to sleepyville, have required me to be pretty creative about my driving as I always like to stay at a good speed so they won’t wake up, or worse of all, miss their nap. I have drive on the 401 heading way out east, the DVP south or 404 up north. I’ve made it up to Stouffville (30 minutes north of the city) and we’ve driven through the Bridle Path and gawked at the multi-million dollar houses.

Each time they awake from our trip, each one will ask me if we made it to Sleepyville, to which I respond, “yes, but you were asleep so we came home.”

A couple months ago, my 5-year-old fought the urge to sleep and in my impatience and exhaustion, I went to Tim Horton’s before he was out for the count. He awoke while I was ordering my coffee and hew asked for a donut, which I declined, then a muffin, again no dice, then a yogurt, so I bought him a yogurt. The only catch was that he NOT tell his brother about the yogurt when his brother wakes up – his brother would be VERY upset. That boy loves his food.

Well, we sat in the car, and the second my 3-year-old awoke, there was his brother waving the empty yogurt container in his face.

Tears… Then wailing… So I rushed him into the house and got him his own yogurt so he would calm down.

Now, fast forward to a couple weeks ago. The kids are a complete mess and refusing to nap or rest, so I tell my wife that I’m taking them to Sleepyville.
At that moment, our 5-year-old smirks, then turns towards our 3-year-old and whispers;
“Stewie… Don’t worry. Sleepyville is really Tim Horton’s. They have yogurt there..”

BUSTED!

LOL.

Urban Daddy recommends: Smokes Poutinerie

1. Let’s talk about Poutine

I’ve had some really nice poutine and some really horrible stuff.  But a friend of mine suggested I try a place in downtown Toronto called Smoke’s Poutinerie.

He sent me a text message from the grand opening, to tease me no doubt.  I was home sick and him and his buddies were eating poutine with such interesting items as Montreal Smoked Meat, Chili, Curry, Chicken Peppercorn, Italian, Nacho Veggie and Pulled Pork.

So on I put my MBA hat and I go digging for information…  First I hit the website.  It’s fantastic! hey have a facebook page, a twitter feed and mouth-watering pictures of the food.

http://www.smokespoutinerie.com/

The location my buddy was at is the Queen Street one.

Poutine is an interesting food, and really it’s an occasional food for an Urban Daddy like me (although my wife loves the stuff). I’m not their target market. I’m getting older, my kids would love this stuff but it’s an occasional eat option for us. For University kids on the other hand this place rocks! They can eat the combination of cheese, gravy, fried and toppings often without packing on the pounds like someone of my vintage, for example.

Poutine is cool again!

Heck, they sponsored the Poutine Eating Championship’s recently.

http://smokespoutinerie.com/championship/

So go down, have a bite and if you liked them, tell them the Urban Daddy sent you. If you hate them, blame my friend. I’ll give you his cell phone number.

An Urban Daddy Approved Product: Glass Straws by glass dharma

Boy, is this a great product for all of you with kids, who are worried about waste and the environment.

We bought these awesome glass straws from a place called glass dharma, http://www.glassdharma.com and the kids just love them! We have some longer coloured straws and smaller plain glass straws. The straws are made in the USA (second best option to Canada, eh?) and if you buy a set, they come with a cleaning bristle in case stuff gets inside them.

They are better than plastic straws because they are easy to sanitize, they are re-usable and a real cost-effective purchase that kids just love!

Best of all, the straws come with a guarantee, so if your kids break them (and I don’t mean smashing them on the table until they break) you just package up the straw, mail them back to the company and “poof” they mail you back the re-blown straw, brand new and ready to be used and abused again.

The product… 10 out of 10.
The service… 10 out of 10.

Tell them the Urban Daddy sent you, when you order them online!

(I don’t get anything if you do order, but I have always wanted to say that!)

Thursday Thirteen (Better Late than Never)

As I was pretty sick this past Thursday and I am only slowly starting to feel back to normal, I missed posting my Thursday Thirteen for this week… Until now!

Thirteen Thursday Thirteen’s I wanted to use this past week…

13. Thirteen things I hate about moving
12. Thirteen things my kids said that made me check their ID
11. Thirteen things I should get my wife for her birthday
10. My thirteen favourite Food Network shows
9. Thirteen things I like to do when home sick
8. Thirteen billion dollar ideas I have had in the past few years which amounted to poop
7. Thirteen items I found in the cupboard while packing that I forgot we had
6. Thirteen bad ideas for birthday parties for kids under 6 years old
5. My Thirteen favourite samples tasted at McEwan’s
4. Thirteen odd things found in my kids pockets while hanging the laundry
3. Thirteen items to not have within the reach of children in their playroom
2. Thirteen reasons why we don’t allow our 3-year-old to “make the rules”
1. Thirteen things to keep a family busy out of the house while a showing(s) are going on.